Chapter 16 – Sebastian
SEBASTIAN
Sydney has started sleeping with the lights on.
That’s new. And while it makes it much easier to watch her from my spot in the tree, it worries me.
I lean back against the trunk and try to relax my tense muscles.
Ash’s phone call yesterday wasn’t that surprising.
He has a tendency to overreact when he’s upset, catastrophizing the smallest things.
But maybe he was right this time. Something scared her, something we missed.
She’s unnerved, frightened and jittery as she gets ready for bed.
It’s not exactly comfortable here, with my legs stretched out on a thick branch while I lean my back against the trunk. The rough bark digs into my shoulder blades, making me itch. But I’ve had much worse places to run surveillance.
I shift with a groan and lift my phone to my ear, pressing the screen to dial.
It feels like it rings forever.
“Hello?” Sydney says when she finally answers. “Seb?”
Hearing her voice is like a cold knife straight through me. I close my eyes, savoring the pain.
Fuck, I love the way she says my name.
“The restraining order was finalized today,” I tell her, keeping my tone neutral. Calm. “I left all the documentation on your doorstep. It’s signed already. This is just for your records.”
Because I promised you I would.
Because I’d do anything for you.
“Oh!” She sounds surprised. “I, uh… I didn’t even hear you. You could have knocked.”
I hear her make her way through her living room and to the door. She opens it, stooping down to gather the packet I left for her.
“I didn’t want to disturb you,” I tell her.
After she closes and locks her door, she makes her way back to the bedroom, setting the packet down on her bed. I watch as she stares down at it, biting her nails. I have to swallow my knee-jerk reaction to tell her to stop.
I hate Alec for making me do this, almost as much as I love him for it. Because fuck I’ve been wanting an excuse, any excuse, to see her. To watch her.
Ashton was right. I’m not dating her. I’m not someone she chose, not the prince charming type like him and Alec. I’m just someone who got her off.
Once.
I have no claim to her at all. I only have this—watching her from a distance, when she doesn’t even know I’m here. I let my head fall back until the back of my skull hits the tree behind me. Fuck, I’m pathetic.
“Look, at the end of the day, that restraining order is just a piece of paper,” I explain. “It doesn’t offer much in the way of real protection.”
She chews her nails a little harder, face pinched with worry.
“I think you need some extra security, Sydney,” I say, finally cutting to the chase.
“You might be right.” She hesitates before continuing. “Jade wanted me to move in with her for a while. She’s really worried. I think we’d both feel better if things were a bit more…secure.”
“Are you considering it?” I ask, brushing a speck of dirt off my pants.
“Considering what?”
“Moving in with her?” It would make my job harder. So much harder.
After a moment, Sydney shakes her head. “No,” she says into the phone. “There’s no room, anyway.”
Good. “If you’re staying, we should really get you more security. For the shop and, uh…your apartment.”
Sydney visibly tenses. “What exactly would that look like?” she asks, in a hard voice. “The security, I mean. In my apartment.”
“No cameras,” I insist. “Not in your home, not unless you want them. I’d like some for your store, and some basic security upgrades. An alarm package, better locks, maybe a gate for your front stairs.”
At least she seems to be considering it.
“No camera in my room?” she presses. “You’re not planning on spying on me, right?”
I deserve the skepticism I see on her face.
“No cameras in your home. And no spying,” I promise, trying to convince myself that, technically, watching her from the tree outside her window isn’t spying. Right. “Not if you don’t want me to.”
Tell me you want me to. Tell me you want the cameras, tell me you want me watching you.
Tell me anything.
She chews her lip.
“I don’t know.” She fluffs her hair nervously. “How much would this cost? It feels a bit over-the-top, and I’m not sure we can afford a full security upgrade right now.”
“Sterling will pay for the entire thing,” I assure her. “I can move the money around in a heartbeat. No cost at all to you or Jade.”
She shifts on her feet, clearly uncomfortable with the idea.
“Sydney,” I sigh. “Be reasonable. This is a drop in the bucket for him. For us. Ash spends more on hair care products than this will cost me to set up. Just let us do this for you. For my own sake of mind.”
She stops shifting.
“Does he really?” she asks, interest piqued.
“Does he really what?” I ask, flicking a twig out into the dark.
“Does Ash really spend that much on hair products?” she clarifies, a small smile curving her lips.
“Christ, you have no idea.” I chuckle into the phone. Sydney laughs, hand coming up to cover her mouth like she’s trying to hide it. “Every month, he manages to spend a little more, too. It’s a nightmare. That idiot is an incorrigible fucking narcissist.”
She laughs again, and it twists something in my chest to hear it.
“So, the security?” I press.
“Yeah… Yeah, okay. You can put it up. But nothing in my apartment, okay?”
I tell myself the emotion that floods me at her acquiescence is relief, not anticipation. Not a carnal desire to watch her, whenever I want, while she’s at work. Not the ephemeral joy in knowing that if I can’t have her, at least I can have this.
Even the smartest of us lie to ourselves when we need to.
“One other thing, while I have you.” I pause, not sure how to broach the subject. “Ash said you called him the other day. He was really worried about you. I just want to make sure everything is okay. Did anything else happen?”
“Oh, that. Um, it was silly. Just a traffic incident. I was a little shaken and I…I didn’t mean to call him.” She takes a breath. “I shouldn’t have called him.”
“You’re sure everything is okay?” I ask.
“Yup.” She smiles when she says it, that big fake smile she wears so poorly.
She’s lying. I know she’s lying.
I just need to figure out why.