Chapter 38 – Sydney #2
“For me? Not at all.” He laughs. “The nurses thought I was just the sweetest thing in the world. They treated me like a little prince. Poor Doc is stuck in a hospital bed, getting poked and prodded, and I’ve got his nurses bringing me ice cream and cookies. God, he was so pissed off about that.”
I can imagine it. I picture a little Sebastian, perfectly put together and dour, with a little scowl on his face as he watches the nurses fawn over Ash.
“But to this day, I haven’t eaten a single strawberry,” Ashton admits. “I just can’t forgive them for trying to kill him like that.”
“I wonder how Sebastian would tell this same story,” I say, grinning.
He sighs and reaches into a container for a chocolate-covered marshmallow. “With a lot more scowling, I bet.”
That gets a genuine laugh out of me. I pick up another strawberry and take a bite. “I had an experience like that once. Well, actually, not exactly like that…”
I trail off, realizing my story isn’t endearing or heartwarming like his.
“Never mind,” I say, shaking my head.
“No, I want to know. I want to know everything about you. All of it.” Ashton’s eyes are bright and earnest as he says it.
“It’s about Chase,” I start, giving him room to stop me in case he doesn’t want to hear about my ex.
Ashton’s eyes harden, but he doesn’t tell me to stop.
“He’s allergic to nuts. He played fast and loose with it, too,” I tell him.
“One night we were at this gorgeous art opening, and they were passing around trays of appetizers. It was Indonesian food, and he didn’t recognize the names of anything.
I told him to be careful, but he ate some anyway and got sick almost immediately. ”
“What an idiot,” Ash mutters.
“It gets worse. He also refused to carry his EPI-Pen. Like having an allergy made him look weak? It was ridiculous. I told him we should go to the emergency room, but he refused. Finally, I convinced him to let me run out and grab an antihistamine. When I came back from the drugstore, he screamed at me about how long it took, said he could have died because I didn’t care enough to hurry.
” I pull my knees closer to my chest, feeling strangely vulnerable remembering it.
“He still ended up at the hospital, by the way. And he blamed me for how much it cost him.”
“Wow,” Ashton says, letting out a long breath.
“Yeah, not exactly a story of brotherly love. Just a dumb relationship squabble.” I laugh, trying to shake it off.
“No, I meant ‘wow, I wish I had hit him harder.’”
It’s the first time either of us have broached the subject of him beating up Chase since The Night of a Thousand Wines (as I fondly named the incident). He watches me as he says it, like he’s not sure how I’ll react.
I give him a lopsided grin. “Honestly, I kind of wish you had too,” I admit.
His answering smile is wide. “Hey, there’s always next time!” He pulls out a mini bottle of Prosecco from his basket and hands me a plastic champagne flute, uncorking the bottle to pour me a drink.
“So, you and Seb are brothers? Actual brothers, I mean?” I ask, shifting the conversation back to him.
“Half-brothers,” Ash corrects. “Same mom, different dads. We didn’t meet Alec and Viper until after she passed.”
Ashton’s expression dims at that, and he picks at a container, plucking a piece of chocolate-covered pineapple out and rolling it between his fingers.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
He shrugs. “Car accident,” he murmurs. “Coming home from work. They couldn’t find any immediate family who were willing to take us, so after it happened, we ended up at the orphanage.”
“I'm so sorry.”
“It’s fine. Well, it wasn’t, but you know how it goes.
They separated us for a while, adopted us out to different families.
But I kept getting into fights and getting sent back, and Seb?
” He just laughs. “Seb always found out and found a way back to me. Once, he started a fire, almost burned down a school, just to get his foster family to send him back. Eventually, families stopped trying with him. Especially after the fish incident.”
“What’s the fish incident?” I ask.
Ashton flinches. “Well… One family that took him in lived on the water, and he found some fish that had washed up on the shore. They were already dead, but…he wanted to know how they worked, you know? So he brought them inside and tried dissecting them on the kitchen table…”
Nausea creeps into my belly, imagining it. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” He drains his glass and sets it aside.
“They brought him back to the orphanage real fast after that. It was a whole thing. He got a new caseworker and everything. They threw around a bunch of diagnoses like conduct disorder, oppositional disorder, stuff like that. But he was just being Seb, right? It’s like…
like he knew even back then he’d be a doctor, taking things apart to see what makes them tick. ”
I take a sip from my glass. “When did you meet the others?”
“Alec was already there when we arrived,” he explains. “No family wanted him. He was too smart, stubborn as fuck. Wouldn’t listen to anyone because he always wanted to call the shots.”
That sounds like Alec. “And Viper?” I ask.
Ashton shifts on the blanket. “Viper…” He frowns. “Viper came a little later. He, uh… the cops found him wandering the streets. When they figured out where he came from...”
He trails off and won’t look at me.
“What?” I ask.
“They were already dead,” he explains. “Everyone in the house, the whole family. Viper was the only survivor.”
“Jesus!” I gasp.
Ashton nods with a grimace. “The whole story is pretty bad. They did some fucked up things to him. Things that break a person. I didn’t know Viper before, but what he is now…” He trails off again.
I reach out and take his hand, giving it a squeeze. “What he is now is your brother,” I insist.
Ashton looks at me, something bright shining in his eyes when he finally says, “Yeah, he is.” He gives me a wide, happy smile.
“You love them, don't you? All of them?”
“Of course.” Ash chuckles. “They’re total pains in my ass most days. Especially these days. But, yeah, I love them. They’re my family.”
“That’s like me and Jade. You’re all lucky to have each other.” I let out a breath, something loosening inside of me that’s been coiled in my chest for weeks. This is what I needed from him. Honesty. He’s being honest with me. Letting me in.
“Thank you,” I say, breaking the silence.
“For what? The dessert?” Ashton looks at the mini feast he brought for us. We’ve barely put a dent in it. “This is nothing! Next time I’ll bring you a whole banquet.”
“No! I mean, yes, this is really sweet of you. The picnic.” I falter, trying to explain it. “But thank you for telling me that story. It helps. Getting to know you, hearing about the four of you. I don’t like feeling like I don’t know you, like you’re keeping things from me.”
His face falls. “I want you to know everything. About us. And I want to know everything about you, too. I don’t want to keep things from you, not anymore. Not ever.”
“I’m still mad, you know,” I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, avoiding his eyes.
“You have every right to be. I’m mad at me, too. And I’m furious with Alec. And Seb for being such a fucking know-it-all.”
“Ash—”
“Sorry. This isn’t about me.” He blows out a breath.
“I just mean, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.
Saying ‘I’ve fallen for you’ doesn’t even scratch the surface, Babygirl.
It feels… it feels like I’m underwater, when I’m not with you.
Everything is muted. I can’t get a breath.
And then when you’re here…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, but his gaze meets mine, and what I see there makes me feel too many things.
“You really hurt me, Ash,” I tell him, setting my drink down on the blanket. “The lying, the secrets. And then seeing you with Annika, seeing you hugging her, I just—”
I stop, that familiar pain gripping my chest.
“You what?” Ashton asks, leaning closer to me, tracing my face with his gaze.
“I didn’t like it,” I admit. “I don’t care if it’s not a real marriage. I didn’t like seeing the two of you together like that. I didn’t—”
He doesn’t let me finish before he grabs my face and pulls my mouth in a fierce kiss, groaning against my lips.
I mean to push him away, I do. But I pull him closer, instead, my hands clutching his shirt, all my thoughts and intentions fading away. His hands are in my hair, and he tilts my head back, angling me so that he can deepen the kiss.
“You were jealous,” he murmurs against my lips. He says it like I’ve given him something, something special. “Fuck, Babygirl, you were jealous of her, weren’t you?”
Of course I was jealous.
“That’s so hot. That you care. That you were jealous of her. But there’s no one else for me.” He pulls away to look me in the eyes when he says it, hands still tangled in my hair. “No other woman exists. It’s you. It’ll always be you.”
Then his mouth is on mine again, and this time, I open for him, letting his tongue slip between my lips. He slides his hands over my body, pulling off my jacket and cupping my tits over my bra.
“I can’t get enough of you. You’re all I want. All I could ever want.” My heart flutters in my chest at his words, and my thighs clench as he peels off my shirt. I can’t form a response before he grabs the bottom of my bra and pulls it over my head, exposing me to the cold air.
“Ash…” I pant. I want more of him, more of this, but we’re in the middle of the park, out in public. But then his hands are on my leggings, pulling them down my legs and tossing them aside.
“Anyone could see us,” I remind him, the words coming out in a moan. He slips my panties to the side and runs his fingers over me, and there’s no denying how wet I am.
“Let them watch.” He groans as he eases a finger inside of me. “It’ll be the last thing they ever see.” It shouldn’t make me wetter, hearing him threaten to kill someone just for seeing me like this, but it does. And I can’t hide my body’s reaction to it as his finger moves inside of me.
You’d kill for him, too.
“Fuck,” he gasps as he pushes a second finger into my soaked pussy. “I’ve missed this.”
He pulls me into his lap, fingers moving in and out of me, fucking me hard. Anyone could see me like this, naked and spread open on his lap, while he touches me. The thought should make me want to stop, but it just makes me want it more.
“Look how perfect you are,” Ashton moans, eyes fixed where his fingers are stretching me open. His tongue slides over his lips, staring at me like I’m the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
He’s saying more, telling me all the things he wants to do to me, how he wants to see me marked, but I’m too far gone to understand half of it.
His face drops to my chest, and he sucks my nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it.
And that’s all it takes to completely unravel me.
I come, shaking hard and screaming his name so loudly that if we didn’t have any spectators before, we might now.
He lets me catch my breath, panting while he holds me against his chest, before he lifts me and sets me gently back on the blanket next to him.
Then his mouth meets mine, his tongue sweetly caressing me, as I press myself against him.
I whimper into his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip as my hands go to his belt, unbuckling it.
“You don’t have to do that. I just couldn’t help myself, I—” But my fingers are still moving, unzipping his pants and lowering his jeans and boxers. Before he can protest again, his hard cock springs free, the tip already glistening with pre-cum.
“Shut up,” I tell him. I roll his hips, moving him until he’s sitting up, and shifting so I’m kneeling between his legs. “I’m calling the shots right now.” Then my mouth is on him, licking all the way up his shaft to his tip, moaning while I do it.
“Oh fuck me,” he murmurs, his head falling back.
His tip is salty, nearly dripping. I take him in my mouth, sliding my tongue over him as I swallow his full length.
I try to, at least. Tears sting the back of my eyes when he hits my throat, and I can’t hold him there for long.
Ashton doesn’t move, letting me set the pace, his breathing hard, hands clenching the picnic blanket under us.
It’s not until I start to speed up, moving my mouth up and down over him, that he fists my hair, groaning like he can’t take it anymore.
“Fuck.” I take him as deep as I can again, and his whole body seizes up, flexing. “That’s so good. You feel so fucking good.”
I bring my hand up to join my mouth, stroking him as I pick up the pace, sucking on his head. His hand clenches in my hair, and he starts to mumble unintelligible words, his hips lifting off the blanket, thighs shaking.
I’m loving this. The feeling of him in my mouth, the way his breathing changes when I speed up. I swirl my tongue over his tip, humming my satisfaction, and that sends him over the edge.
“Fuck, Babygirl, I’m going to come,” he warns me.
I don’t stop. I moan around him, stroking him, loving the way he tenses, the way his cock swells even more, right before he fills my mouth, groaning my name as he comes.
When I look up at him, his eyes are wide, his breathing heavy. I look him dead in the eyes as I swallow.
By the time we’ve packed up our picnic, and Ashton has walked me home, I’ve made up my mind. I’m done waiting. I’m done pretending I don’t want this, don’t want them.
All of them.
I need a favor.
Seb: Anything.
I need to know where Alec is. Right now. I need to see him.
I bite my lip, waiting. I’m not even sure how Sebastian will react to my asking. Alec and Ashton are fine with sharing, but what about him?
What if he wants me all to himself?
Seb: He’s at the house.
Seb: I just dropped you a pin. Security knows you’re on the way and will clear you.
Seb: Go get him.