Chapter 16
Courtney
I promised myself I would never set foot in Limaj again, yet here I am in a black SUV with dark tinted windows, pulling up to the palace.
Micah is fast asleep in the car seat Daniil arranged for, but I’m too anxious to rest. I dozed on the plane since Erik sent his private jet for us, but now I’m wired.
On high alert. Like something bad is going to happen.
It’s irrational, I know that, but I can’t help the way I feel.
The garage is well-lit, and I see Sandor and Lennox standing by the elevator. She comes running over the moment I’m out of the SUV, hugging me tightly.
“It’s so good to see you,” she whispers.
I hug her back.
Lennox is my friend, despite everything that happened last time I was here, and I’m genuinely happy to see her.
“I missed you,” I whisper back.
That, at least, is true.
“Where is he?” she demands playfully.
I chuckle, turning to where Daniil has lifted Micah out of his car seat.
“Oh, my gosh.” Lennox’s eyes round. “He’s beautiful…look at him!” She reaches out to run a finger along his cheek.
“With eyes just like his dad’s. And your husband’s.”
We chuckle together, and for a moment, the worry lifts.
“He looks a lot like the twins did at this age,” Sandor comments quietly, staring down at my sleepy son.
“I can’t wait for you to meet the boys,” Lennox gushes. “They’re so damn cute.”
“I’m looking forward to it too.”
“Your suite is ready, with a crib and everything Micah will need. We have enough babies around for there to be plenty of things you can borrow while you’re here.”
“I appreciate that.”
We head to the elevator en masse, someone I don’t recognize carrying our luggage. I didn’t bring a lot, but babies are messy, and Micah often goes through five or six outfits in a day, depending on what we’re doing.
“You’re pregnant again,” I say softly, putting a hand on her protruding stomach.
She rolls her eyes. “Yes. Yes, I am.” Then she elbows her husband.
He grunts, though his eyes glitter with amusement.
“She’s mad because it’s another set of twins.”
“Another…” I gape at her. “Is that…normal?”
“Actually, yes. The chances of having a second set of twins goes up exponentially when you conceived the first naturally.”
“Oh, wow.”
“So, I figured I needed to just get it over with.”
“Four in… just over two years.” I grimace. “That’s a lot.”
“Yes. It is.” She gives Sandor the side eye.
“We have a nanny,” he says. “And we can get another.”
“It took you eight months to find a nanny we both liked and trusted,” she mutters. “How long will it take to find another?”
He shrugs. “We’ll see.”
They bicker playfully the whole way to my suite and then continue their banter as Daniil shows me around the room.
“It’s a suite with a bedroom that has a sitting area. We put the crib there, but if that doesn’t suit your needs then—”
“It’s fine,” I interrupt quickly. “Everything looks good.”
“There’s a fridge and microwave so you can make Micah’s bottles and oatmeal. If you text me when you’re up, I can join you in the morning to help show you around and come up with a plan so you feel comfortable.”
“All right. Thank you.” I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep here at the palace, but there’s no point in taking it out on him. I agreed to come, and he’s bent over backwards to make things easy on me.
“We’ll let you rest since it’s late,” Lennox says, “but text me tomorrow and I’ll come by. I’m working an early shift, so I’ll be free by three.”
“Thanks.”
There are a few instructions about locking up, using the key card, and a handful of other details I tune out, but within ten minutes Micah’s in his crib and I’m alone.
There’s a big bay window overlooking the city and I stand there, staring out at a landscape that’s fairly foreign to me.
I’ve been here twice before but it feels different this time.
Scarier. Less exotic and more dangerous.
And I’m not sure why. I spent several years serving in the Middle East and never had this much anxiety.
Having a baby changes you, I realize.
I love most things about it, but not this. Not the changes in my body. Not the fear that something is going to happen to my child. And definitely not the ever-present attraction to his father.
It’s almost impossible to ignore, though I’ve done my best.
The time we spent together was…electric. I’ll never forget the night we met, at a pre-wedding dinner for all of Sandor and Lennox’s guests who came from out of town. Our eyes met across the table, and I knew I was going to sleep with him. He was gorgeous, sexy, and very, very charismatic.
Our chemistry was undeniable, and when he kissed me at the reception, I was a goner.
Never one for public displays of affection, I didn’t blink an eye when he went down on me on the balcony just outside the reception hall.
It was late and we were all tipsy, but I knew what I was doing.
I didn’t care about anything but how it felt for him to touch me.
I left because I had to get back to work and my life in the U.S. A wild week of fun and great sex, but it never had the chance of becoming anything more.
Until the second time I came to visit.
I tried to resist but he’s…well, he’s impossible to resist.
We wound up in bed within hours of my arrival, and despite telling myself—and him—nothing could come of it, there was magic. That’s the only way to describe it. Skinny dipping in the big rooftop indoor pool with a handful of his friends. Letting them watch him fuck me—it was so damn hot.
My insides clench just thinking about it.
The problem is what happened after.
The attack.
Leaving Lennox behind.
Them offering me a position as a Royal Protector.
It was surreal.
And now I’m back here, thinking about things I shouldn’t be.
Knowing he’s just a floor away.
He would come if I called.
But I can’t.
I won’t.
Micah is far more important than any man.
Even if that man is his father.
At some point, I doze on the couch because I can’t relax. Can’t stop my mind from spinning. Or remembering everything about my last trip here.
With the time change and a day of travel, Micah is up at four thirty, and it’s the first time in a long time I’m not excited to wake up with my baby.
I’m physically and mentally exhausted, but he’s six months old and doesn’t understand any of that.
He’s a little crankier than usual, especially since it’s still dark out, but I give him a bottle and we cuddle on the couch, dozing for another two hours until he wakes up for the day.
I’ve just made his oatmeal when there’s a light knock on the door.
“Court? You awake?”
I get up to let Daniil in.
“Did I wake you?”
I snort. “Ha. Little man here was up at four.”
He grimaces. “It’ll take a few days to adjust. If you want, I can sleep on the couch and get up with him for a night or two, until you’ve gotten into a new routine. I function on very little sleep.”
“We’ll see,” I say noncommittally.
“What are your plans today?” he asks. “I have a security briefing at eight, and then I have to be at Parliament to debate the damn pipeline bill. I probably won’t be around until dinner.”
“Don’t worry about me. I remember my way around, so I’ll probably go for a run and then nap with Micah. Then we’ll go over to Lennox’s at three.”
He nods. “Great. I’ll see you tonight.” He leans over to kiss the top of Micah’s head. “Everyone is dying to meet the baby and see you.”
“Are they? Aren’t they pissed I hid him from you?”
“That’s between you and me,” he says quietly. “No one else has a say in the matter.”
“Okay.”
“Welcome to Limaj, Courtney.”
I’m not sure if that’s a threat or a promise.