Chapter 21
Daniil
The drive to the southern part of the country that borders the Black Sea is only about two hours, but it feels longer with five adults and three kids.
The large black Chevy Tahoe is stuffed to the gills with people, luggage, and everything the kids need, but we figured it was easier to take one vehicle.
By the time we get to the isolated house on a secluded island just off the shore, we’re all ready for a nap.
Luckily, the kids cooperate and while Lennox and Sandor disappear into their room, Marcus starts sweeping the house for bugs or anything else that’s not supposed to be here. Since none of them are going anywhere while the kids are asleep, I ask Courtney if she wants to go for a walk on the beach.
“Sure.” She puts a baseball cap on her head and follows me down the winding path that leads to the beach.
It’s deserted, which is nice, and there’s a light breeze coming off the ocean. This is usually the hottest part of the day, but it feels pleasant today. The perfect weather for a walk on the shore with a beautiful woman.
“Are you a beach person?” I ask curiously.
She nods. “I don’t get to a beach very often, and I’ve never been in the Black Sea, but I grew up near Savannah, Georgia so I love the water.”
“Georgia.” I frown slightly. “I don’t know why but I figured you for a New Yorker.”
She laughs. “Nope. Southern girl, through and through. Not anymore, I guess, but I like to think I am.”
“And you and Grim, er, Landon share…a father? But not a mother?”
“His mom died when he was two and his dad married my mom a year later. Then they had me.”
“So you’re close.”
“Yes. We both went the ROTC route in college followed by the Marines. He’s four years older than I am but—”
“I don’t think I know how old you are,” I interrupt curiously.
“Thirty-four.” She hesitates. “How old are you?”
“Thirty-eight.”
“I feel like we should know these things about each other.”
“We were too busy getting naked,” I say quietly. “I guess that’s my fault. I should have been more romantic.”
“Why? It was supposed to be a weekend fling. One and done is basically the definition.”
“But when you came back, I wanted to see you again. I was excited when Lennox said you were coming to visit.”
“Then why didn’t you ever reach out?” she asks, looking up at me.
“You left without even saying goodbye. It felt like you didn’t want to hear from me. That’s why I was excited you were coming back—so I’d have another chance to prove that I was interested in more than sex.”
She abruptly stops walking and turns to me. “Is that true? Did you really want to see me again? Because from where I’m sitting, it feels like you’re saying things you think I want to hear so you can convince me to stay.”
I shake my head immediately. “No. That’s not true. Ask Lennox. I was excited for you to come back. I wanted to see you again, maybe ask you out on a proper date. She wouldn’t lie for me. Not to you.”
She pauses, searching my face carefully. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you want to ask me out? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with me but you’re a prince and a playboy. Probably wealthier than anyone I’ve ever known. You can have anyone. And since you’re bisexual, that essentially opens up the whole world for you.”
“You do understand that being bisexual doesn’t mean I can’t be monogamous?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I just meant you have a larger dating pool than the rest of us, so why pick the tomboy military girl?”
“Because from the first time I touched you, I was intrigued.”
“Again—why? There’s nothing special about me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I reach out and run my fingers through a lock of her hair. “Your hair is gorgeous. The color reminds me of a sunset in the heart of summer. And your eyes are both beautiful and mysterious. Like emeralds, except with a soul.”
She’s wearing sunglasses so I can’t see them at the moment, but I can tell from her body language that she’s listening. Waiting for me to continue. And though I’ve never been much of a romantic, it comes easily with her.
“The physical attraction starts there,” I continue, “but then I found out more about you and everything I learned was a turn-on for me. Military—I love a woman who can give as good as she gets. A freakin’ helicopter pilot—come on, it doesn’t get much cooler than that.
And then, when everything was on the line, you stepped up and saved a member of my family.
” I hold up a hand to stop her when she starts to interrupt.
“I understand you only did it because Lennox asked it of you, but the end result was the same.
You showed bravery and strength, two things I admire a great deal.
“So yes, it started out as a good time. Sex. But even that was way above average. The more time I spent with you, the more I wanted. Touching you once was never going to be enough. Touching you a second time convinced me I needed to do something official. But you left before I could.”
She turns away, staring out at the horizon.
“You scared me,” she says after a moment. “Not physically. Just everything about you. Sex is one thing, but I couldn’t imagine a world where you chose me for more than that. And I didn’t want to be…disappointed.”
“I’m just a man, Courtney.” I reach for one of her hands, and though she still doesn’t look at me, she threads her fingers with mine.
“A rich, powerful one with a very convoluted past.”
“Does my past bother you?”
“The truth?”
“Absolutely.”
“What you did when you and Jesper divorced…bothers me a little.”
“Which thing?” I ask, since I don’t know how much she knows.
“You had two children together. Then you randomly decided not to be their father. Lots of divorced men are still fathers—why would you agree to it, even if he asked you to?”
There are so many answers to her question, it’s hard to narrow it down to one.
“That was a complicated time in my life. I did some things I’m not proud of and that’s one of them.” I gently tug her hand. “Can we walk as we talk?”
“Sure.”
I’m grateful she doesn’t pull her hand away.
“Jesper wanted children very badly. Me, I could take it or leave it, and I was honest about that. He said it didn’t matter—he had no problem raising them on his own if it came to that.
That’s also why they’re both his biological children and not one of his and one of mine.
I think deep down he knew I wasn’t as invested as he was.
And then, when I broke his heart, the last thing I wanted to do was fight him about the kids.
He asked me to walk away, and I did because it was easier, not necessarily because it was my choice. ”
“The children seem to love you,” she says. “At least, at the cookout the other day, they ran to you and were very affectionate. But they were like that with everyone.”
“The family, in general, is close. All of us cousins were close growing up and we wanted that for our children too. Granted, technically Jesper’s children are not related to us but he’s part of our extended family.”
“That makes sense.”
“I think maybe I held back emotionally when it came to the kids because I kind of knew I’d made a mistake—I just didn’t know how to fix it.”
“With Jesper?”
“Marrying him. I cared about him, truly, and I still do. But it was more like friends with benefits. I wasn’t in love. Not the way I should have been. I was lonely and craved a connection from home, from my life before we were all forced into exile.”
“That’s understandable.”
“It’s not the same with Micah. He wasn’t planned, but I’m happy about being a father. I already love him, Courtney. I need you to believe that.”
“I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore.” She stops walking again and pushes her glasses up so I get the most glorious view of her eyes. “The chemistry between us is impossible to ignore, but there’s a child involved now. The deeper we get the higher the chance he winds up being hurt.”
“I won’t let that happen. I swear to you. No matter what we decide, or what happens between us personally, it will never impact Micah. He’s my son. Part of me. I won’t abandon either of you.”
“And if I go back to the palace tomorrow and decide I’d rather date…Marcus. How would you behave?”
Christ, she’s really a ball buster.
“I’d be upset,” I admit. “I won’t lie about that. But it wouldn’t be the first time someone turned me down or broke my heart or simply changed their mind. If you and Marcus were happy, then I’d have to suck it up. As long as you don’t keep my son from me.”
“I would never do that.”
“But you did.”
It feels like we have to talk out this part of our situation, because she did keep him from me during the pregnancy and the first five months of his life. We talked about the why but not the associated feelings.
“I know it was wrong to hide him, and I’m genuinely sorry I did that to you, but all the reasons why I did it are valid. I was scared for him. I still am.”
“I appreciate hearing a heartfelt apology. It means a lot that you take responsibility for what you did.”
“But do you forgive me?”
“Of course.” I reach out and cup the side of her face with one of my hands. “I can dislike your methods while still understanding your motivations. I would be scared too.”
“So, what do we do now?”
I stare down at her beautiful face. Green eyes glittering in the afternoon sun. Cheeks flushed from the heat. Hair blowing gently in the wind. She’s so fucking gorgeous.
“What I’d like to do more than anything else… is kiss you.”