Chapter Nine
Despite his soothing words to Elizabeth at the ball, Darcy slept poorly that night.
The evening’s events were troubling. He and Elizabeth might agree that their engagement was a charade, but in the eyes of the world, it was authentic.
Begging off now would be highly dishonorable.
He would be given the cut direct throughout London.
Now that Darcy was better acquainted with Elizabeth, he was less worried she would attempt to entrap him into marriage. She appeared genuinely indifferent to his fortune. And, she was not simply disinclined to marry Darcy; she was opposed to the idea of marrying at all.
But she could not beg off right away; that would fuel a scandal. In the meantime, the ton would assume that Darcy had chosen to connect himself with a family of provincial nobodies.
He rolled onto his back and groaned.
His uncle, the Earl of Matlock, or, even worse, the countess, would hear the intelligence by tomorrow’s dinner at the latest. Aside from his cousin Richard, that entire side of the family would probably shun him altogether.
They and the inhabitants of Rosings Park were almost all the family Darcy possessed.
How would it affect Georgiana? Would they cut her as well?
Would his aunt refuse to help bring his sister out in society?
A ludicrous vision of attempting to organize her coming out with only the assistance of his cousin, an army colonel, flashed through his mind.
Hopefully, it would not come to that. Richard knew nothing about lace.
It was particularly galling to think about suffering these consequences for the sake of a lie. Well, not quite a lie, he corrected himself. By any measure, they were indeed engaged. They were deceiving everyone about whether they intended to wed. This reasoning made Darcy feel slightly better.
Once Elizabeth jilted him, his life would return to normal. For the most part. Darcy was almost certain. Surely he could repair his relationships with his uncle’s family. Marriage-minded mamas would once again parade eligible women before him.
At least for the rest of the Season, he could experience a brief respite from the marriage mart.
He could attend events in peace, relishing balls and soirées with Elizabeth on his arm.
What conversations they would enjoy! And the dances!
She might be the first woman he was actually eager to partner.
However, it came at a price. When Elizabeth broke the engagement and returned to Hertfordshire, he would probably never encounter her again. That would be unfortunate. She was exceedingly good company. Perhaps they might remain friends.
At least until Darcy himself was married…
To a different woman.
It is so frustrating! In many ways, Elizabeth would be a wonderful wife for him. She was so beautiful; taking her to bed would be…wondrous. And with her liveliness and wit, they would never want for conversation. She would be a devoted mother, particularly attentive to her daughters’ education.
The fantasy faltered when Darcy imagined being related to Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Elizabeth deserved a better family. He wished he could provide that for her.
But he could not. He could do his best to ensure that she did not suffer from this arrangement.
He would be an attentive fiancé and make her life as agreeable as possible.
He would escort her everywhere. Nobody would believe that Darcy had compromised her or that he was less than enthusiastic about the union.
They would believe it a love match. Although Darcy had never considered himself skilled at acting, he was confident he could pretend to be in love with Elizabeth.
The difficult part would be losing her forever.
However, life was full of hard truths, and one was that he could not marry Elizabeth.
Duty and discipline ruled his life. This was simply one more thing that he needed to sacrifice for the sake of his responsibilities.
He had extensive practice. Still, sleep did not come for a long time.
***
The next morning, Bingley arrived at Darcy House, finding Darcy at the breakfast table.
He had been astonished by the intelligence of Darcy’s betrothal but also delighted.
No doubt he believed it boded well for his own courtship of Miss Bennet.
Perhaps he supposed the engagement was Darcy’s tacit permission of their eventual union.
Darcy wished he could disabuse his friend of this notion, but it would reveal too much.
Bingley tucked into the impressive breakfast spread, particularly enjoying the eggs. Darcy’s cook was excellent. But nothing tempted Darcy save a cup of coffee.
While he ate, Bingley invited Darcy to accompany him on a visit to Lady Sterling’s house. He appeared to regard them as brethren in courting the Bennet sisters. After a short consideration, Darcy agreed.
Not that he was desperately eager to see Elizabeth. That was merely a pleasant side benefit. But a man in love would probably visit his beloved the day after their engagement. He also needed to speak with Mr. Bennet about contracts and settlements.
This charade advances too quickly. Financial discourses make it quite authentic. But he could not avoid the task. Nevertheless, conversing with Elizabeth’s parents was fraught. Will they believe I am passionately in love with their daughter? What if I betray insufficient knowledge about her life?
The distance was not far, so Bingley and Darcy set out for a walk in the autumn sunshine.
Bingley purchased a posy for Jane, and Darcy wondered if he should have done the same.
Do men buy flowers for women after they are betrothed or only when they are wooing?
Well, Elizabeth will simply have to take me as I am. It is not a real engagement after all.
Lady Sterling’s address was not as fashionable as Darcy House’s but still quite respectable. Constructed of red brick, the house was a good size and well-maintained. The front hall was impressive, although not particularly grand, and displayed many feminine touches.
Lady Sterling’s butler greeted them cordially, and a footman took their coats and hats before they were ushered into a drawing room, which was spacious and tastefully decorated in pale blue and cream.
The serenity was instantly shattered by the harsh sound of Mrs. Bennet’s voice in the hall.
“Lizzy and Jane, hurry! We cannot keep the gentlemen waiting.”
The woman herself entered the room directly, with her daughters following her. Miss Bennet and Elizabeth both smiled, but their lowered chins suggested unease with their mother’s behavior.
Then Elizabeth noticed Darcy, and a genuine smile emerged like the sun from behind clouds. Darcy was awestruck. She illuminated the whole room as if she carried a torch.
Why was Bingley not similarly blinded? Could he not discern that Elizabeth was a light in the darkness? But his friend only had eyes for Miss Bennet.
Why am I practically composing poetry about Elizabeth in my mind? Is my heart in danger from her? He had never experienced half these sensations with another woman. No, I have merely been alone too much. That is all. Surely this is simply a sign that I am ready to be wed.
Once he was free of this betrothal, he would seek a wife in earnest.
Elizabeth walked toward a seat opposite Darcy’s, but her mother objected. “Lizzy, you must sit beside Mr. Darcy now that you are engaged.”
Elizabeth’s countenance was serene as she sat beside him on a small settee, but her breath hitched. Darcy was likewise aware that nothing separated them save a few inches. He could smell her delicate lavender scent.
I should not notice such things! I want to convince others that we are in love, but I must not allow myself to get caught up in the charade. It was all pretense, and yet he yearned to savor the closeness. I am a fool.
Mrs. Bennet fussed extensively over Bingley’s bouquet. Perhaps I should have brought one after all. Lady Sterling entered the room a few minutes later. Darcy was relieved that Mr. Bennet was not present; he had no desire to witness more marital bickering.
Conversation commenced with civilities about everyone’s health and the state of the weather. But once those were dispensed with, Mrs. Bennet wasted no further time on minutiae. “Where do you plan to wed, Mr. Darcy?”
“Mama! We only just became engaged!” Elizabeth objected.
Her mother continued as if Elizabeth had not spoken. “Certainly, you would be welcome at the church in Meryton, but I have heard that St. George’s in Hanover Square is very fashionable. Or perhaps at your estate. Where is it again?”
She regarded Darcy with the kind of fawning expression he hated. This was a woman who prized Darcy’s wealth above everything else. Thank providence she would never, in fact, be his mother-in-law. How had Elizabeth and her sister become so sensible?
Elizabeth replied, “Derbyshire, Mama.”
“Derbyshire!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed. “So far away. But I suppose your house is quite grand. You should be married by special license.” She continued to address Darcy.
“Then you need not wait. I have always longed for a daughter to be married by special license!” She held her handkerchief to her bosom in a pose of maternal pride.
When Mrs. Bennet appeared to have temporarily exhausted her supply of words, Darcy ventured: “Elizabeth and I have not discussed it, madam. Wherever she prefers is acceptable to me. However—” He regarded the older woman with narrowed eyes.
“I perceive no need for a special license. We are in no hurry.” A long engagement would be easier to break off.