Chapter Twelve #2
But as the dancing commenced, Elizabeth was startled by the ferocity in William’s eyes. He had not spoken, but the way he held her was…not quite proper. Their bodies were closer than was appropriate, allowing her to inhale his masculine scent.
When she endeavored to put some distance between them, he pulled her closer yet. Very well. Elizabeth settled into his embrace, enjoying the rhythm of the dance.
They danced like a dream, as if their feet barely touched the floor. He had a good sense for the music, and his body knew exactly how to communicate with hers. They flew around the dance floor, attracting admiring looks from spectators.
But Elizabeth could not forget the anxiety of days when he did not visit. A little waltzing and all is forgiven? I cannot allow that.
“It was unfortunate you could not visit this week,” she said, staring directly into his eyes.
His countenance was an unreadable mask, but Elizabeth thought he flinched. “I was very busy.”
“People will wonder at your commitment to our betrothal.”
He scowled. “I doubt anyone is paying such close attention.”
Elizabeth’s stomach knotted. We may dance well together, but he does not seem eager to partner me anywhere else.
“If you are inclined to discontinue the engagement, you need only say so,” she said tartly.
William was so astonished that he actually faltered in the next step; they both took a moment to recover. “Why would you—?” he asked. “Has someone else made you an offer?”
Now Elizabeth was astonished. “Of course not.” Who could he possibly mean?
“I am quite…satisfied with our arrangement,” he said, but looked somewhere beyond her shoulder.
“Are you?” Elizabeth asked. “You did not visit or write. You appeared reluctant to dance with me.”
When his eyes returned to her, she nearly gasped at the heat blazing in them. “I am not reluctant. That is the problem.”
“I d-do not take your meaning,” she stammered.
“I— My— You…” The dance ended while William searched for words. Elizabeth sighed in exasperation. She was even more confused than before the waltz.
She gave him a superficial curtsey. “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. That was quite an enlightening conversation.” She turned to stalk away from him.
“No. Please do not—” He hastily took her hand and tugged her from the dance floor. Guiding her through the crowds, he led her through a door and into an empty, dimly lit corridor.
Disgusted with his high-handed behavior, Elizabeth jerked her hand from his. “I do not know what you are about, but I desire no part in it. Go beg another dance from Lady Julia!”
“I do not want to dance with her!” he hissed, drawing closer to her. “I want to dance with you! If I could, I would dance every dance with you.”
She stared at him, struck dumb.
“I— You—” He groped for words. “I cannot be myself with her. Only you…”
Elizabeth’s skin was warm and tight all over. “I am confused,” she said. “If you desire my company so much, why have you avoided me?”
He threw his hands in the air. “I do not want to avoid you. I want to avoid—”
With an impatient noise, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her. It was nothing like the kiss under the mistletoe, which had been passionate but unsure. This one was desperate, as if William’s need for her kisses superseded his need for air.
He pressed the length of his body against hers, a reassuring weight.
Her hands found their way around his back and pulled him closer against her until the space between them no longer existed.
He responded by deepening the kiss, demanding that she open her mouth.
When Elizabeth did, she was immediately lost in the sensations.
She forgot where she was and all the reasons this was a dreadful idea. She existed only to desire more kisses.
Their bodies harmonized just as they had on the dance floor.
Her body recognized his every move and responded accordingly.
He stroked her neck, and she gasped. His fingers traced the neckline of her gown, and she shivered.
But she could affect him as well. She pushed one hand deep into his dark curls; he moaned.
With bodies so in tune, they kissed as agilely as they waltzed.
William pulled away from her. Panting, he braced his hands against the wall on either side of her head. “I have been fighting my desire to kiss you for days,” he said hoarsely. “You were supposed to tell me to stop.”
“Why would I tell you to stop?” Elizabeth was honestly bewildered.
His eyebrows drew together. “So your reputation will not be compromised? So I might still call myself a gentleman?”
Elizabeth fought her way out of the spell cast by the kisses toward some semblance of rationality. “I cannot command you. If your conduct displeases you, only you can stop it.”
He pushed a hand through his hair. “Yes. Yes. Of course, you are correct. I take responsibility for my egregious behavior.”
Now Elizabeth was confused for a different reason. “Egregious? It is only a kiss. Well, not only. It was a very fine kiss.”
He chuckled. “You never react the way I expect.”
“I hope you expected me to enjoy the kiss because I did.”
He pressed his forehead against hers. “So did I. More than enjoy…it was…entrancing. However, I should not have done it. I should not have even contemplated it…. But, you are too beautiful. Too clever. Too wonderful. I could not resist.” He groaned. “Stupid waltz!”
They both laughed.
Elizabeth could not help but be flattered. Every woman wanted to feel desirable.
Then he shook his head and pushed himself away from the wall, retreating from her and staring at the floor. Then he spoke. “But there is no excuse. I must apologize for taking liberties. I hope you are not offended by my behavior.” His insistent apologies were becoming vexing.
She smirked. “Believe me, if I were offended, you would know.”
“I suppose I would.” William rubbed his chin.
“At the start of the evening, I feared you were repulsed by me and regretted our arrangement. So this is something of a relief.”
“You could never repulse me.” he breathed. The heat of his stare could have set her aflame.
Oh my! She was tempted to reach out and pull him toward her so she could enjoy the weight of his body again. This is why some women were tempted to take lovers or marry. The appeal of such passion had always eluded her before.
A loud noise from the ballroom startled them, and William took several more steps away from her.
Reason rapidly returned. I cannot confuse physical desire with more tender emotions.
He longed to kiss me; it was pleasant, but it means nothing.
He will marry a woman with faultless breeding and a large dowry.
A few kisses do not transform me into the right woman.
Elizabeth looked toward the ballroom. “We should return before we are missed.”
“Indeed.” He rubbed his face with both hands.
Realizing her hair was disheveled, she retrieved hairpins from where they had fallen and attempted to recreate a semblance of her previous coiffure.
She patted everything into place, but William regarded her with horrified eyes.
“Is my hair so terrible?” She touched the free tendrils with her fingers.
“I beg your forgiveness.”
“It is only hair—”
He shook his head vigorously. “I should never have touched you— I am the worst kind of blackguard.”
“I do not agree.” She had eagerly participated in the kiss after all.
“I always swore to myself that I would not be the sort of man who imposed himself on an honorable woman—”
“You did not.” She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. “I am perfectly capable of telling you no.”
But his haunted appearance did not lessen as he looked wildly around the corridor. “We cannot be noticed together.” Before she could respond, he turned and stalked back to the ballroom.
Elizabeth slumped against the wall. Why did their kisses always end badly?