Chapter Seventeen #2
“Oh. Of course.” After a long silence, he asked, “But you still plan to do so?” His words were so neutral that Elizabeth could not discern his mood.
“Yes.” Her voice emerged almost as a whisper. “It is what we had agreed.”
They had reached a little copse of pine trees nestled beside the road.
It was secluded and Elizabeth often stopped there to rest and think.
Once they were surrounded by trees, William faced her and took both her hands in his, suddenly very serious.
“Before you break the engagement, I was hoping you would accept a gift from me.”
A gift? Another piece of jewelry? I hope not. I still must return the diamond bracelet to him.
He swallowed before continuing. “The gift has several parts, actually. The first part is a collection of books of instruction in Latin and ancient Greek.”
Elizabeth’s heart began to beat faster. “I thank you.” Her voice shook. “That is very thoughtful.”
“But,” he continued, “I recognize the difficulty of learning a language from books alone. My scheme is to accompany the books with tutors.”
Elizabeth made an inarticulate sound of surprise. What was he about?
“I have contacted two well-known professors at Cambridge. They would be pleased to visit Longbourn periodically—or wherever you might reside—to provide you with lessons.”
He shocked her speechless. What sums must he have promised those professors to win their agreement? Such extravagance!
William spoke again, more quickly. “I know you are interested in history as well, so I also have agreements with two history professors.”
Lessons from university professors? He had recognized the deepest desire of her heart! A desire she had thought would be impossible to achieve.
He was still speaking. “If you would not mind, I might join you for some lessons. Many corners of history are unfamiliar to me, and my Greek is rather rusty. Education does not cease with formal schooling, after all.”
Sitting side by side with William? Studying books together? She had thought it was not possible to want anything more than the lessons themselves. She had been wrong.
Elizabeth was too overcome to speak. Tears slid down her cheeks.
William’s eyes widened with alarm. “Was I wrong? Has the gift displeased you?”
“Quite the contrary.” She sniffled. “You—You—” How could she express what this gift meant? “It is perfect. You…listened to me.” Words were completely inadequate to explain what she felt.
His hands squeezed hers. “Not at first, I am ashamed to say. But in your note to me, you expressed the opinion that you did not belong in my world. I must apologize for anything I did that contributed to that feeling.”
An apology seemed quite unnecessary at this point. “You are forgiven, of course,” she murmured.
William held her gaze. “I want you to understand, my gift of books and tutors is given freely, without conditions. I want to share my life with you, but if you do not feel the same, then we shall go our separate ways.”
He watched her intensely, alert for any hint of her feelings. Was he really proposing to provide her heart’s desire and simply walk away?
Elizabeth dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief. “I would very much prefer to be where you are. Separating would not suit me at all.”
A smile slowly spread over William’s face, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Elizabeth bit her lip. “But nothing about my family or my connections has changed. And I still do not speak Italian.”
“I would happily provide an Italian tutor as well,” William said.
“However, I do not want you to change yourself to suit the ton’s expectations.
England has a surfeit of such women, and they hold no interest for me.
I realized that if the mold of the ton does not particularly suit you, it does not suit me. Because you suit me very well.”
“But your family and the others in your world—”
Darcy forestalled her with a raised hand. “When you wrote that you did not belong in my world, it pierced my heart. I wanted to ride to Longbourn and convince you otherwise.”
Had he really considered something so impetuous?
Darcy continued. “But during the intervening month, I had a realization. You and I do not need to worry about what or who belongs to your world or my world. We can create our own world. I am certain we can be happy at Pemberley. And then choose what other parts we might want from those other worlds.”
A dawning sense of rightness surged inside Elizabeth. He had spoken those words with such conviction; she had to believe he meant them. And they sounded true to Elizabeth. They could build their own world, and it would suit them perfectly.
He must love me. Why else would he go to such trouble and expense? Still, he had not said… “But…but, do you not— Do you want to marry me?” she blurted out.
His eyebrows shot up. “Miss Elizabeth, is that a proposal?”
She laughed and cried at the same time. “Perhaps. Are you sure you can support a wife?”
He roared with laughter but then sobered. “I fear there is one impediment.”
Elizabeth’s heart seized.
“I am already engaged to a wonderful, beautiful woman.” His fingertips stroked the side of her face.
She put her hands on her hips in mock fury. “I must insist that you discontinue that betrothal and start a new one with me.”
He grinned. “Done.”
They smiled foolishly at each other.
William caught and held her gaze. “I love you quite desperately. But, there is only one reason you should marry me: if you love me.” Again, he appeared to hold his breath, waiting for her answer.
“I—” A sob tightened her throat. “I love you above anything.”
“Elizabeth…” He breathed her name like a prayer. Then he gathered her in his arms as if he never intended to release her (and Elizabeth would not have minded).
He pressed frantic kisses along her cheek and neck. His breathing was ragged and uneven. “I am so happy!” he whispered into her hair, his voice cracking on the last word. He kissed her mouth with hard, desperate lips, sending delicious sensations pulsing through her body.
Elizabeth exulted in the sensations. She could finally relax into his embrace without hesitation or worry. Now that she was assured of his love, she could return his kisses openly and unreservedly. Her heart overflowed with such happiness that she did not know how her body could contain it.
When William released her, Elizabeth was a little unsteady on her feet. She appreciated that he kept one arm wrapped around her.
“Should I arrange for the books and tutors to come to Pemberley?”
Elizabeth swallowed, willing her voice to work again. “That would be best. But I fear that all the benefits of this marriage will be on my side.”
He chuckled softly. “Ah, Elizabeth, if you only understood how your presence in my life has affected me. When I am with you, I can be my authentic self—not who everyone wants me to be. I let responsibilities shape my life. But you have seen what else I can be. You have shown me parts of myself that I did not know existed. You bring liveliness that was sorely wanting. I love that part of you. I love every part of you.”
Tears flowed freely down Elizabeth’s cheeks.
With his words, William had wiped away the remaining vestiges of her fear that their marriage might resemble her parents’.
William would never seek to entrap her or render her smaller.
Marriage was always a leap of faith, but Elizabeth no longer worried she might fall.
He hugged her close. “What do you say to my question?”
She giggled. “Mr. Darcy, I do not believe you have asked me a question.”
He chuckled. “Forgive me. Others may not know this, but I have never proposed marriage before. I am not practiced at it.” Then, he regarded her with dark, earnest eyes. “Miss Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
“I will.”
***
Suddenly Elizabeth was much closer to Darcy. Had she moved? Had he? It mattered not. Her nearness was an irresistible temptation. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her once more, infusing the kiss with his promises. Promises to love and cherish her for the rest of their days.
He had not thought it possible to feel this much happiness and needed to reassure himself again and again that it was not a dream.
Despite all his fears and all her well-founded concerns, Elizabeth consented to be his wife.
He could not wait for their new life together to begin.
If they could have wed that minute—in a copse of trees near Longbourn—he would have.
They stood, silently embracing, enjoying the feeling of being held. Could Elizabeth feel how he glowed with happiness? He hoped she sensed it because no words could express how his heart—his entire being—was flooded with love.
Elizabeth glanced up at him. “We should return to Longbourn. They will think highwaymen have waylaid us.”
Darcy sighed. “Very well. Although I am loath to share your company with anyone.”
“You will have me all to yourself soon enough,” Elizabeth said, hugging him close before they linked hands and ambled toward Longbourn.
“Nothing could possibly be soon enough,” Darcy growled. Now that Elizabeth agreed to be his, fantasies had been unleashed in Darcy’s imagination. Every touch of her hand was a promise of future pleasure, and he was impatient.
“I suppose we should not plan a long engagement after all.” Merriment filled Elizabeth’s voice.
“Indeed not. A long engagement would only induce me to put you in a carriage for Scotland.”
She gasped in mock outrage. “Mr. Darcy! How scandalous!”
He bent to nuzzle her neck. “Believe me, I am having far more scandalous thoughts than that.” Immediately, he worried that he had been too candid for the sensibilities of a gently bred woman.
“I believe that is the purpose of the honeymoon,” she said, with mocking primness.
Darcy chuckled as they strolled along the country road, not particularly eager to reach their destination.
“I expected to see Jane and Mr. Bingley,” Elizabeth remarked.