Chapter 7 #2
“I will say whatever you wish, Miss Elizabeth, if only you will tell me what you would like to hear.”
Much as she had come to expect of him, his voice was grave, but his eyes sparkled with amusement.
Had they met under different circumstances, Elizabeth wondered whether she might have mistaken his solemn manner for seriousness and missed the dry humour beneath it entirely.
She found herself rather pleased that she had already learned to recognise the difference.
“What do you normally speak of when dancing?” she asked.
“I generally try not to speak at all—or dance, if I can help it,” he said, his tone more serious than it had been a moment before. “But I will admit that I have found this dance more enjoyable than any ball I have ever attended in London.”
Elizabeth could not help herself. The compliment unsettled her composure, and she ducked her head before he could see just how much it affected her.
Unfortunately, the dance offered her no reprieve. It was their turn to move through the figures, and Elizabeth was obliged to look up and attend to her steps. When she met Mr Darcy again a moment later, the amusement in his expression suggested that her discomposure had not gone unnoticed.
“Forgive me if I have disconcerted you,” he said after a moment.
For a moment, Elizabeth was at a loss. Mr Darcy had always been amiable with her, even slightly teasing, but until now she had been able to convince herself that his manner was merely friendly. This felt different. His words had carried a warmth she could not so easily dismiss.
Perhaps she was stranded again, though in an altogether different fashion from the night at the inn a mere se’nnight before.
Until now, she had believed herself alone in her growing regard for him, certain that whatever she felt must be hers alone.
For the first time, she wondered whether Mr Darcy might be stranded there with her.
“You need not apologise,” she managed at last. “I was merely unprepared for the compliment.”
Despite Elizabeth’s original intention of engaging Mr Darcy in conversation for the remainder of the dance, her thoughts were in far too much of a tumult for easy speech.
She answered whenever he spoke and did her best to appear composed, but found herself quite incapable of introducing any new topic.
Fortunately, she was not required to maintain the effort for long, for the dance concluded shortly thereafter.
Mr Darcy escorted Elizabeth to where Mary and Georgiana sat together.
Georgiana had not joined the dancing, as she was not yet out, and Mary had earlier declared that she was perfectly content to keep her company rather than join in herself.
A few minutes later, Mr Darcy made his excuses and left them, making his way towards his friend. Elizabeth watched as the two gentlemen spoke together for several minutes, but Georgiana soon drew her attention away with a question.
For a time, Elizabeth became absorbed in conversation with the two girls. When she finally glanced around the gathering again, Mr Darcy was nowhere to be seen.
This disappointed her, but she allowed herself to be drawn back into their conversation. Although they had only met twice, they had already found much in common regarding their tastes in music and composers.
A short time later, Mr Darcy returned and asked whether she would walk with him for a few minutes. They did not go far, remaining well within sight of the gathering, but once they had put a little distance between themselves and the others, he turned towards her.
“Miss Elizabeth,” he began, “I do not believe I have ever been so intrigued by a young lady as I have been by you.”
Elizabeth’s breath caught, but she remained silent and waited for him to continue.
“At first, I persuaded myself that my interest was largely because I believed you would be good for my sister. When we met at the inn and found ourselves stranded there together, I was impressed by the way you spoke and, perhaps even more, by the way you thought. You were confident in your opinions without being unwilling to reconsider them, and you never seemed intimidated by disagreement.”
His mouth curved upwards into the barest hint of a smile.
“Indeed, I believe you rather enjoyed our debate—and you certainly enjoyed pointing out my lapse in judgement when I argued against my own convictions.”
Elizabeth could not help answering his tease with one of her own.
“I did. And you were not very adept at dissembling, sir.”
“I have had very little practice,” he replied gravely. “Perhaps I ought to be grateful that you discovered me so quickly.”
She laughed.
“But I did enjoy our debate,” he said, his expression growing more serious. “Far more than I expected. And yet I continued to tell myself that what I admired in you was precisely what Georgiana needed in a friend. It was a remarkably convenient explanation.”
“Convenient?” Elizabeth repeated, taken aback by the word.
“It allowed me to avoid considering why I was so eager to remain in your company myself,” he explained, looking almost sheepish.
“I do not understand.”
Mr Darcy hesitated before answering. “I had convinced myself that I could not consider you.”
Elizabeth lowered her gaze, uncertain what he meant by that—or why he had chosen to tell her now. Surely he had not asked her to walk with him merely to explain all the reasons she was unsuitable.
“It was Georgiana who first made me question my thinking,” he said after a brief pause.
She looked up again, her spirits lifting ever so slightly, only to falter at his next words.
“I have spent much of the past week examining all the reasons I believed I ought not allow my regard for you to deepen,” he admitted.
There was something in his voice—regret, perhaps, or even pain—and Elizabeth wondered at it. His words were certainly causing her pain. Could speaking them be costing him something as well?
She lowered her gaze again, wishing suddenly that he would come to the point.
“I have since come to the conclusion,” he continued, “that most of those reasons were exceedingly poor ones—and certainly not the sort of considerations I would wish Georgiana to weigh against her own future happiness.”
Elizabeth stared at him, now completely uncertain what he intended.
“Miss Elizabeth, I would very much like the opportunity to know you better—with your father’s permission, and with the understanding that my intentions are serious.”
For several seconds, Elizabeth could only stare at him. Of all the possible conclusions to his extraordinary speech, this was not one she had allowed herself to consider.
“Yes,” she blurted, barely aware that she had spoken. “I mean—”
She paused, attempting to gather thoughts that seemed determined to scatter in every direction. She had understood enough to know that she wanted to agree, but she was suddenly not entirely certain what, precisely, he was asking of her.
Mr Darcy’s expression softened.
“I fear I have not been sufficiently clear,” he said after a moment.
“No,” Elizabeth said, a little breathlessly. “You have not.”
Again, he revealed the barest hint of a smile.
“Then allow me to correct the deficiency. I am asking if you will permit me to court you, Miss Elizabeth. I would first speak to your father, of course, but I would do so with the intention of determining whether what has begun between us might become something more.”
Elizabeth’s heart began to beat rather too quickly again. It took a moment, but she finally gathered enough of her wits to answer him.
“I did not think you could seriously consider me,” she admitted.
For a moment, he was silent.
“I mistook what I had been taught to value for what truly mattered.,” he finally said.
The admission stung.
“I was wrong.”
His voice was grave, but Elizabeth searched his expression and found nothing there but sincerity.
“Then yes,” she said, unable to keep the happiness from her voice. “Although I hope you understand that allowing you to court me does not oblige me to agree with you in all instances—especially when you argue against yourself as you are prone to do.”
His dimples appeared again, and Elizabeth was delighted to have provoked them.
“I should be exceedingly disappointed if it did, Miss Elizabeth,” he answered.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Elizabeth was suddenly so happy she could scarcely contain it.