Chapter 19
NINETEEN
“Are we meeting for lunch today?” Caroline asked over the phone.
“I’m so sorry. Unfortunately, I have a prior commitment,” Darcy replied.
“With her?”
“What? Who, her?”
“With your ex-girlfriend.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I told you Sunday morning, she and I are long over. We are entirely different people now. Besides, I hate to state the obvious, but we are both getting married to other people.”
“Still ... it’s been in the back of my mind, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a smidge jealous.”
“Don’t be. Sure, Lizzy and I have a history, but it’s you and me who made a pact and signed an agreement. You’re wearing the ring, and I don’t break contracts unless there is irrefutable, solid evidence of malfeasance or deception by either party.”
“After all these years is that what I am to you, a contract?”
“Of course not. You’re one of my oldest friends who has stood by me during the most tragic times of my life. I care for you like I care for Charlie, maybe even Georgiana. You mean the world to me, Beanz.”
“But not enough to love.”
“Stay the course, and I’ll make you a very wealthy New York City socialite in the process. Isn’t that what you wanted from the outset?”
“I repeat—a marriage without love.”
“Yes, without romantic love.” He sighed. “Don’t tell me suddenly you want feelings we both swore not to have for the other. You’ve known this stipulation for years. I’m incapable of romantic entanglements.”
“You weren’t always.”
“Thanks for turning the knife.”
“What are friends for, honey bunny? Forget I said anything. Are we still on for Thursday dinner with your cousin Rick?”
“Of course. He’s looking forward to it.”
“But are you?”
He shrugged. He hardly knew Rick since his cousin joined the army years ago. “Yeah. Sure. It’ll be good to catch up. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“William ... do you remember when you were fifteen and you and Charlie took me to the Bronx Zoo to see the baby chimpanzee?”
“Sure.”
“It was the best time of my miserable childhood, and I just want you to know, I never forgot it or all the other thoughtful things you did for me over the years.”
“You were a good kid.”
“Thanks. So were you.”
“I’ll see you later?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said, a little defeated.
He hung up the phone, feeling like a real heel.
One for lying to Rick about being in love with Caroline, and two, for not having a bona fide commitment for lunch other than a keen pursuit of something remarkable bubbling up in the back of his mind.
He also felt terrible for not having romantic feelings for his childhood friend.
She wasn’t just a contract, and he did care for her even if he was experiencing cold feet about the whole agreement.
Seeing Lizzy had knocked him back, shaken his reserve, challenging unbendable positions on so many things.
Yes, the pain had resurfaced but so had color and light as well as his passion and desire!
There was no need to hurt Caroline by sharing his confusing feelings, but he did need to talk to someone about them instead of trying to deal with them on his own.
He needed time to sort everything out and had zero experience or navigational skills at this unexpected winding fork in his ordered life.
“Amanda,” he called out.
“Yes, Mr. Darcy.”
“Please give the Cannova Properties file to Jamison. The CEO is expecting an offer, and I trust Jamison to take the helm on the relationship going forward. I’ll be out of the office for the rest of the day.”
Giving him a dubious look, she asked, “Can I reach you on your mobile?”
“Not today.” He softly smiled. “That’s what I have a CFO for, right?”
“Are you sure?”
He chuckled. “Yup.”
“Well, if you say so, boss. Do you want me to call Sean or Pete, or shall I arrange for Taylor to drive you?”
“I’ll be fine. I’m only going uptown in a taxi.”
An hour later, he stood at the threshold of his sister’s apartment, anxiously pressing the bell.
Opening the door, she grinned.
“Thank God, you’re home!” he said, powering past her.
“Instead of ringing the bell like an unhinged lunatic with explosive diarrhea, you could’ve just used your key.”
He walked back to her, then kissed her cheek. “Sorry. I didn’t want to intrude. It’s your place, your privacy. You might have a guy here, after all.”
“Man, you look like crap, Will.”
“I haven’t slept much.”
A few uncomfortable seconds passed, and she finally said, “Soooo, what’s up?”
Running his hand through his hair he stammered, “I’m, um, here for Mom’s art supplies.”
“Whoa. Why?”
“No comment. I also need your advice.”
She stepped back from him, flashing a similar look Amanda had. “My advice?”
“Yeah.”
“Sweet! This should be good. Mr. Pemberley wants Zoomer advice. Come on in, and I’ll make you a cup of coffee.
I had a feeling that today was going to be a game-changer.
” Leading him down the paneled hall to the kitchen she added.
“Hell, if you tell me you’re breaking it off with Beanz, then I’ll know I’m a friggin’ psychic. ”
Settling at the breakfast bar, he laughed. “I’m not breaking off the engagement.”
She sighed. “A girl can dream. Do you want something to eat?”
“Mom’s poundcake.”
“No can do, but if your drama can hold out for a week maybe I can try to find the recipe and whip one up for you.”
“If it keeps up, I may take up baking.”
“Yeah, nothing like Mom’s pound cake to turn the worst shit show around. But there was nothing like Mom speaking truth to power with wicked humor and love. She always set things right.”
“Today, you have some pretty big shoes to fill.”
She grinned. “I’ll try my best, but don’t hate on me if I sound like Dad.”
Lighting the flame under the percolator because “drip is shit,” she said, “Sock it to me.”
“Okay ...” he took a deep breath. “I saw Lizzy at Louisa Bingley’s wedding.”
“Whoa.”
“And I drank ... a lot.”
“Double whoa.”
“And ... and ... I think Lizzy and I had sex.”
She belly laughed. “Dude, you’re so outta circulation that you can’t sus out whether you had sex or not?”
“Like I said, I was drunk. I’m not sure of anything that happened that night, but it seemed real.”
She facepalmed.
“Stop. This is really serious. I ... think I’m ... um ... still—” he stammered.
“Bruh! Oh, c’mon. Noooo. You can’t literally be thinking you’re still in love with her after what she did to you.”
He dropped his chin, shamefully admitting. “I am! I don’t know! I’m so confused. Why else would I be resorting to love advice from my smartass sister?”
“Before I share my coveted wisdom, tell me what the hillbilly is like after all this time. Apart from Beanz, your standards are a lot higher than what they were back then.”
“Man, she’s brilliant. Gorgeous. Accomplished. Matured.” He thought of the painting in La Tempera and what she said to Wickham about his parents. “Thoughtful and caring and ... still fearless. Not to mention, the chemistry between us is still through the roof.”
“Is she still waiting tables and dog walking?”
He made a face. “Of course not. After studying in Paris, she’s now the owner of a fine arts gallery in Tribeca.”
“Wow. Impressive. I’ll give her that. Are there any negatives or is she just a repentant fallen angel after making you an alcoholic?”
“I made myself an alcoholic. Of course she has negatives. We all do. For one, she’s still hanging out with her toxic sister, and ...” he prevaricated.
“And?”
“She is clearly lacking sound judgment concerning her future, maybe even has some lingering self-confidence issues from her shitty upbringing.”
“How so?”
Realizing where this was going, he blurted, “Forget it. It’s not relevant.”
“It is relevant. You said it, so finish the thought so I can continue talking smack about her.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Too late.”
“Okay, but don’t get angry with me for bringing it up ... she’s engaged to ...” He looked her straight on. “a real creep, a guy with a history of manipulation and womanizing.”
“It sounds like you know the guy.”
“I do. It’s Wickham.”
Georgiana’s chin dropped, and she silently lowered herself onto a stool. “George?”
“Now you understand why I stopped myself. I’m sorry to mention him, and I know it’s shocking to you that he’s in New York.
Damn, I mean, I’m sick that he’s with someone I loved, love, cared about, obviously still care about.
” He exhaled. “I’m sorry to even mention his name, but it really took me aback.
How can I possibly love someone who wants to spend the rest of her life with someone like him? ”
She exhaled a deep breath. The shock on her face surprised him.
“Fuck. Are you remembering that day? I’m so sorry, Gigi.”
“I didn’t know he was getting married,” she said with a tremor to her voice.
“Of course you didn’t.”
“You’re sure he’s engaged?” She looked about to cry.
“Positive. He was at the wedding with her. I punched him out.”
“Why would you do that?”
“For touching you where he shouldn’t have, of course.” And for Lizzy. “For Christ’s sake, you were fifteen. He was twenty-five!”
“But that was years ago. I hardly remember it.”
“That doesn’t matter. You’re my sister, an innocent child!
The guy’s a sexual predator and deserves a beat down every damned day of his life.
At the wedding, he was openly hitting on a waitress with Lizzy seated no more than thirty feet away.
” He shook his head. “To hell with avoiding a Darcy scandal, I should have turned him in to the police years ago.”
Georgiana bravely put her shoulders back and clearly forced a smile. “I’m glad you told me about him.” She resolutely nodded. “So! Do you want my advice about the cowgirl or not?”
Although he sensed there was something deeper going on, like maybe some residual trauma that needed to be discussed, she understandably pressed to change the topic.
“Well? Do you want my pearls or not?” she coldly asked.
“Please. I am all ears,” he said. “Give it to me straight.”
“They say that when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Literally, dude, leopards don’t change their spots.
She hurt you once—she’ll hurt you again.
Trust me, it’s the way it is. Shitty people don’t change—they just get better at hiding their true nature. George is a perfect example.”
“Lizzy is no Wickham. She was always ethical and honest, kind and loving. Her sister’s malevolent influence made her do the unthinkable,” he oddly defended.
“Pfft. Don’t expect this new Lizzy to be an improved Lizzy whether you had a great past or mind-blowing sex in the present. Sex isn’t a true litmus test of authenticity, and just because you got it on with her doesn’t necessarily equate to love.”
“It does in my mind.”
“You’re so old-fashioned. Look at her essentials—she’s not trustworthy and probably the same weak loser she always was. Just like George. I know that now.”
“How do you know that?”
She sighed, rose from the stool, then walked to the stove to turn off the coffee pot.
With her back to him, she rose up and down executing barre footwork.
“I know because I’ve been dating George for the last three months.
He said he loved me, and I believed him.
He said we were always meant to be together. ”
Sucker punched, he abruptly stood. Fisting his hands, the pain of what that asshole did and the anger and disappointment in himself for not protecting his baby sister, even in adulthood, made him want to punch the wall.
Then finally, filled with empathy, sorrow washed over him relating to her unexpected heartbreak.
Because, as effed up as it was, it was clear Gigi had fallen hard for the douchebag.
He walked over to the stove, then put an arm around her shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Gigi. I didn’t know he had come back into your life.” Sighing, he breathed, “I failed you.”
“You didn’t fail me. I failed my good judgment, probably like your cowgirl has—again. You’re right, he’s a master manipulator.”
“Yes. He is. His dick should come with a warning label.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. I was a na?ve, love-struck twit, having just come off a major rejection from my ABT audition. When I ran into him, he knew all the right things to say. I guess I was vulnerable to his smooth tongue, just like all those years ago.”
“Do you want me to kick his ass, again?” he half-joked.
“That’s not enough. You have to hit George where he’s most vulnerable and that lies in his photography. It feeds his ego and sex drive. It’s how he lured me in as a model on pointe shoes then as his girlfriend, all ... for my money, I’m sure. He used me.”
Abstract photographer. Repulsed, he silently raged, recalling the strange photograph hanging in the apartment foyer.
“Oh, God. I’m sorry, Gigi.”
Lizzy needed to know, if for no other reason than it being the right thing to do. The question was how? To what purpose? He feared it would look self-serving.
“Did he hurt you? You know, was it consensual?” he gingerly asked.
“It was consensual. I jumped into the relationship willingly.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “Maybe that’s why it hurts so much. Grrr! I’m such an idiot!”
Helpless and struggling not to lecture her for going near the guy, he said, “I’m sorry this happened. I’d like to say the hurt heals in time.”
“I guess knowing he’s a total asshole eases the pain. Did it get better for you?”
“For years, but now, I’m more messed up than before. I wish I had the answers for you.”
“I wish Mom were here to give them to us.”
“Yeah. Me, too. Will you do me a favor and allow Sam to watch your back for a while? Wickham is an unstable guy, and I’d feel better knowing that Sam is with you.”
“I don’t mind. Sam’s amazing! He’s always so attentive and very genuine.”
Shaking his head, he wondered if there was something else woven into that comment.
Gigi leaned her head on his shoulder, then sighed. “Enough about me and my pitiful love life. Do you really think that after one night you’ve fallen back in love with her?”
“I think ... I never fell out of love with her. I may even have forgiven her.”
“You? Forgive? Impossible.”
“It’s true. I have let the hurt and hate go.”
“Then you, literally, have to tell her everything, Will, and you have to call off your wedding to Caroline. It’s the honorable thing to do.”
“It’s just not that easy. Going back to Lizzy ... or anyone else ... means risking my heart again. Beanz is safe. Then, there’s the issue of breaking our marriage contract, and it costing me a shit lo―”
“The whaaaa?!” She set back. “Brah! A marriage contract?! With String Bean?”