Chapter 71 Is this what you wanted? – Briar
IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?
brIAR
The wind stings my cheeks as we ride through darkness, but it’s nothing compared to the sting of silence between us. Koen keeps us speeding along winding back roads at a terrifyingly high speed. We haven’t spoken since he carried me out of the warehouse, saving my life.
Again.
He’s only pulled over once, to make a quick call to his brother before speeding off again. It’s still dark, but the sky has begun to lighten; dawn is approaching.
Without warning, Koen turns off the main road, slowing as he takes us down a narrow dirt road I never would have noticed, leading us deeper into the dark expanse of woods.
I haven’t seen a single light for nearly sixty minutes. We are completely and totally alone. The dirt road we’re on is lit up only by the bike’s headlights.
Once we’re well out of sight from the main road, he brings the bike to a stop, killing the engine. And then there’s only silence. Nothing but trees on either side of us.
“Get off,” he says, his voice flat.
Trembling from fear, and shivering from the cold, I slowly let go of him, climbing stiffly off the bike; my limbs are borderline frozen from the ride.
I walk a few feet. The frozen leaves crunching underneath my sneakers make a sound far too loud in the oppressive silence of the woods around us.
I look back to see Koen still on his bike, reading something on his phone before slipping it back in his pocket, and for a moment, he just stares down at his hands, and even though it’s dark, I can’t help but see the look of absolute devastation written across his face.
My heart constricts, but before I can say anything, he’s up, and instinctively, I back up a few steps. When he looks at me, his eyes, now burning with rage, show his fury, which has replaced any trace of devastation that was there before.
“Come here.”
I swallow, but take a few cautious steps forward.
His hand comes out from behind him—he’s holding a gun.
I freeze, inhaling sharply.
“Get on your knees.”
“Koen…” I shake my head in denial, wrapping my arms tightly around myself.
“On your knees, little Rose,” he says again, quieter this time, controlled, his eyes dark.
I look away from him, first to the ground, and then out into the shadowed forest surrounding us. I think about running, but there’s nowhere to run to. My eyes slide back to his, and I don’t look away while lowering myself to my knees.
“You saved me...” I say, when I hit the dirt. He pulled me out of the warehouse… he could have left me there to burn.
Koen steps forward, and my eyes flicker between his face and the gun in his hands.
“Because your death belongs to me.”
I’m shaking, trembling at his feet from the cold… from the look in his eye… But there’s conflict there. I can see it, past the steel wall he’s built to hide it. He wants to kill me, and he doesn’t….
I swallow hard. “Everything I did, I did to keep her safe,” I say slowly. He still has that lethal edge in his eyes.
“From whom?” His eyes flash, daring me to say the words.
I sigh. “From everything… from Gio…” I look up to face Koen’s dark eyes. “From you.”
His jaw flexes right before he raises the gun, leveling it at my forehead, holding it just inches from my face. As if to prove my point.
I don’t flinch, but I lift my chin, as if daring him to do it.
He calls my bluff, stepping closer until I feel the cold metal ring press up against my forehead. Rage and fury gone, but the cold detachment that takes its place is far worse.
I don’t run, and I don’t cry, not even when I hear him click off the safety. I just look at him.
I search the dark void of his eyes for any sliver of the man I know is somewhere buried inside, choosing to believe that the Koen I’ve gotten to know over the last couple of weeks is the real Koen O’Rourke.
That it wasn’t just a game, or an act to gain my trust to use me as a pawn to his own end.
I want so desperately to believe that deep down, under that cold and brutal exterior, and through all of his anger, he loves me, too.
But all I see is darkness.
“You lied to me. You hid my child from me. And you betrayed me, almost getting Liam killed.” His voice is cold and devoid of emotion, as he lists my transgressions.
“All true,” I admit softly.
“You played me.”
My mouth opens to refute that last statement, but he keeps going before I can get a word out.
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
I make sure I’m looking him straight in his eyes when I say, “I’m sorry.
” And I mean it, it’s not a lie. But Koen’s gaze is still ice cold, and his gun stays pressed against my forehead.
I exhale slowly, a calm resignation settling over me.
“If—if you’re going to do it, then just… just listen first.”
He tilts his head to the side, silently, but I take that as an invitation.
“Her favorite color is pink.”
His brow furrows.
My voice is shaking. “She has asthma; her inhaler is in her backpack in my apartment.” Koen’s eyes narrow, and he tightens his grip on the gun.
“She needs to see Doctor Haven at Boston Children’s Hospital once a month.
” I nod, tears filling my eyes. “Her favorite food is pancakes, she has your temper, and she’s afraid of the dark, so you need to leave the light on at night.
Okay?” He doesn’t answer me, but I nod like he did anyway, a single tear sliding down my cheek before I drop my gaze from his. “Okay…”
The long stretch of silence that rings out after that feels infinite, until I feel the cool metal of the gun drop away. Shocked, I chance a look up at him. Koen is dragging a rough hand down his face.
“Fuck.”
He turns, shaking his head and storming back over to his bike, trading his gun for his phone.
I stay, frozen in the dirt, feeling like the slightest of movements could still cost me my life.
After exchanging a couple of messages, Koen swings his leg over the bike and starts it up, the rumble of the engine cutting through the silent night.
By the time I notice he’s put the bike in gear, it’s too late. He’s already gone.
I scramble to my feet, screaming, “No! Stop! Please!”
But Koen doesn’t stop; he doesn’t even look my way before shooting down the road, back the way we came.
Leaving me alone.