Chapter 93 If I Lay Here… – Briar
IF I LAY HERE…
brIAR
I’m met with darkness when I finally manage to pry my eyes open.
My lids are heavy, and it’s a struggle to hold them up, and for a moment, everything is blurry.
I focus on the sounds—the persistent beeping of a machine, the sound of rain hitting glass—and the feel of a large, warm hand wrapped around mine.
The blurriness clears, and I blink a few times, ignoring the pounding in my head to slide my eyes over, looking for him.
Koen’s hunched over in his chair, leaning his chin atop one hand while the other holds onto mine.
He’s a mess.
Dark circles ring his eyes, the collar of his shirt is undone, his tie loose, and his hair is mussed like he’s been repeatedly running his hands through it.
He’s awake, just staring at our linked hands with familiar quiet intensity.
I squeeze his hand, and he flinches. Dark eyes rocket up, and there’s an indescribable look of relief in his when they meet mine.
“Briar?” He whispers my name, reverent, cautious, as if uncertain what he’s seeing is real.
“Hi.”
Koen releases a breath, and it’s as if an immense weight falls off his shoulders. Part of me wonders how long he’s been holding it. And it might be my vision blurring again… but his eyes look… shiny—and red.
“I thought I lost you again.”
I squeeze his hand, looking him in the eye. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Remi?” I ask. My voice is scratchy, and he quickly grabs a cup of water from the table beside me and puts the straw between my lips.
“Safe.”
“Lily?” I ask before drinking anything.
“She’s okay. They’re all okay…” he assures me, and I relax, taking a small sip of water to relieve the burning feeling in my throat.
We’re interrupted by the arrival of the floor nurse, and then the doctor, who checks me over before explaining everything that happened and their plan of treatment. By the time they all clear out, my eyes feel heavy again.
“You should sleep,” Koen says, noticing my yawn as he exits the bathroom. He’s changed into a pair of sweats—clearly he’s not going anywhere.
“Lie with me,” I say, and I watch him freeze.
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” I assure him, scooting over to make room on my right.
He looks conflicted.
“Please?” I blink up at him. “I just want to fall asleep in your arms.”
He lets out a sigh but comes over to the right side of the bed anyway, carefully sliding into it, holding his breath when I lay my head down on his chest.
He’s so warm—solid. We lay like that in silence for a few minutes while I listen to the sound of his heart racing inside his chest. It’s so loud.
After a few more minutes, I feel his body relax and his heartbeat slow, his arm coming around to hold me closer to him.
“Don’t go, okay?” I say, afraid he might try and sneak back to the chair once I’m asleep. “Stay with me?”
Koen works his jaw, tightening his arm around me while pressing a light kiss to my forehead.
“I’ll stay, baby. I promise.”
Satisfied, I snuggle deeper into his chest, and while exhaustion ebbs at me, I force myself to stay awake until I hear his breathing even out and his heartbeat slow to a gentle rhythm.
He’s asleep.
And after listening to a few more beats, I join him.