48. Chapter 48
Chapter forty-eight
Memories flood my senses as I step into the club.
A lifetime ago. It seems. So long ago. Six months? Seven? I’m not sure. But all it once it feels like yesterday and a decade ago all at once.
There is a woman behind the bar, dressed exactly the same as Derek was the night I walked in here with a pissed off Nandy and joyous Fynn. She gives me a sultry smile as I step to the bar. She’s never seen me before. She knows I’m not a member.
“I’m looking for Fynn.”
She narrows her gaze at me. Not sure if she should divulge his whereabouts and I find myself appreciative of her protectiveness.
Then she turns her attention to the stage and tips her head.
The lights by the stage dim and then shift to an amber glow falling on the man on stage. The music starts slowly. His face is cast downward.
“I thought that I said it in the things that I didn’t say…I thought that you felt it in the games that I didn’t play…. let the record show I never let you go.”
I’ve never heard his voice before…he said he dances some…did he mention singing before? Did I not pay attention?
His voice is stunning. Just like the rest of him. He lets out a little growl that shoots straight to my cock and I step forward toward the stage.
The movement must catch is attention because he looks my way and falters. His tongue comes out and touches his bottom lip and he quickly looks away and picks up singing again.
A pair of male dancers appear and fall at his feet, hands stroking up and down his legs and across his crotch. His hips sway and pulse into the hands and I can see him getting hard in his leather pants.
Did the hands cause that…or the sight of me?
I thought I told you…. I thought I told you.…I thought that you felt it…in the games that I didn’t play….
He turns away from me and then back his eyes locking on me.
Let the record show, I never let you go, can we get back on track…
Is that a question for me? Because God I want that answer to be yes. I miss him so much. Miss them both. But the man in front of me…he dug more deeply into my heart than I had initially realized..
We bonded over Nandy. We met because of him. It was Nandy’s withdrawal from us both that put us together. But so much more. We’ve had a connection from the first time I laid eyes on him. So much alike. Such an unlikely pair. He is without a doubt one of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen in my life.
He stares at me from the end of the stage. Soon every eye in the place moves to me too. I swallow. His face doesn’t reveal much about how he feels about seeing me here. There is no smile. He doesn’t rush to my arms either. I feel the eyes on us, waiting…wondering. Well, me too. He glances to one of the men just beginning to unwrap himself from around Fynn’s leg. Handing off the microphone, he tips his head to the infamous double doors. The doors that changed everything about our relationship.
The woman behind the bar raises an eyebrow at me and I give her the same wink I gave Derek, the first night I walked in here. Derek. Fynn’s Derek. A fiery streak of jealousy races up my spine and I look to the other end of the bar. It’s empty. No Derek tonight.
Fynn opens the doors, he pauses like he might hold them open for me, but thinks better of it and gives me one of my favorite views—his ass tightly hugged by leather pants moving away from me. Asking me to follow. And follow I do.
“If I slam you against the wall and devour your lips, would that be cheating?”
“Does it feel like it would be cheating, because if you are asking, then…”
I swallow and nod and take a step back. I don’t know if it feels like cheating. I came here to get them both. But I came to Fynn first and his voice, seeing him…the desire hit me harder than I expected.
“I told you, you will always be his, it’s what he does.”
“You were right, about him not wanting to share me.” I nod.
His. Nandy’s. That should bother me more than it does. Being someone’s his. I like it actually. Even though that someone and I haven’t spoken in months. I walked out his door and he let me. I had begged him to fight for me, fight for us. He chose not to.
“I would have fought for you,” Fynn says, reading my mind as he so often has.
I rake my hands through my hair and look at him. His hair is all black tonight. The blond tips gone. His green eyes are rimmed in black and silver shadow, his already thick lashes adorned with some fake ones, a few of those silver as well. He has a diamond piercing his left nostril. Is that new? The nose ring isn’t in tonight. I like the diamond better I think.
“I have a question I’m uncertain I want the answer to, but please be honest with me,” he says.
I nod. “Fynn you and I have always been honest.”
He nods.
“Do you want to throw me up against the wall because you want to kiss me, or because it’s the closest you can get to him?”
Wow. I hesitate a beat too long and he interprets it wrong. All wrong. His features fall and dammit…I grab his chin in my hand and force his eyes back to mine. I hover over him. Our lips so close.
“I want to kiss you.” I breathe it onto his lips and inhale, trying to grab some piece of him and put it inside of me. My cock is rock hard and seeking friction. Seeking him. I wrap my hand around his lower back and tug him to me. I rut my cock against his.
“Feel that? That’s for you. That’s because of you. I want you and I want to do a hell of a lot more than kiss you…I want those luscious lips wrapped around my cock. I want you to fuck me with that talented mouth and then I want you fuck me for real…I want you to dominate me the way Nandy does you…and then I want to turn around and fuck that gorgeous ass of yours…and I want Nandy watching…giving us orders…stepping in whenever he feels like it.
“I want you both and I don’t know how to reconcile any of that in my head.”
“Then get out of your head and follow your heart.”
It takes all of five seconds for me to muscle Fynn backwards across the room and into the wall. My lips are on his and those glossy pillows are everything I dreamed they would be. And I have dreamed about them. So much, I’ve dreamed about them.
I’ve never seen Fynn naked. Never seen the cock I crave so much. Only his chest because he doesn’t seem to know how to button his shirts. I stroke along that exposed chest. It’s smooth and strong. Not the ripped defined muscles Nandy and I have. Smooth, supple and solid.
“If I’m his, then why do I miss you so damn much?”
His breath hitches.
“Call him…get him here.” I make no move to give Fynn the ability to do that, because I can’t. I’m starving for him. He groans and I lick along his throat shoving his shirt aside with my nose as I go and bite along the firm thick rope of muscle connecting his neck to shoulder. I bite hard. I want to leave a mark. I want Fynn to know I’ve been here. I want Nandy to know it too.
“You don’t want him here,” I say to Fynn and it isn’t a question.
He shakes his head. “It’s not that…it’s just…you, someone like you wanting me like this…it’s a heady feeling and I’m not quite ready to share it. When he walks in here…” he pauses. “Please, for just a few more moments I want to believe it is me that you want.”
Someone like me? Want him? God yes, I want him.
“You have no idea how beautiful and sexy you are do you?”
“Tell me,” he says. “I need to hear it…please…let me think you would want me even without him. I know it’s wrong…”
I press a finger to his lips. “I don’t just want you Fynn, I crave you.”