Chapter 24 - Alanis
Alanis was unable to take her eyes off Rael.
He had just said that he loved her. More than that, he said that he would leave everything for her. His pack, his family, everything—to be with her.
No one had ever given her that. No one had ever looked at her and said: You are worth more than everything I have.
“I mean every word, Alanis,” Rael continued. “Your happiness means more to me than anything. If you have to be with the Lumen to be happy, then I will be there with you.”
Alanis stared at him through the blurry mess of her tears. She wondered what that would be like. Rael leaving his brothers, his family, and the pack he had lived all his life—his home. It would be a new environment. He was going to have to start all over.
The sacrifice was astounding, and it made her understand something important. She didn’t want him to make that sacrifice. Not that she did not appreciate it. But because she was finally ready to make her own choice.
“I want to stay right here—with you.”
Rael went very still. “Alanis—”
“Let me finish.” She tightened her grip around his hand.
“I was angry when I first got here. I resented it. I did not want to be a part of your pack. I did not want any of it. I was just waiting for the opportunity to run away and go back to the Lumen. But somewhere along the way, something changed.” She glanced down at their intertwined fingers.
“I started to see Weston Pack as people who were trying to make things better. I saw Silas trying his best to undo the damage your father made to the pack because of his ideologies. I saw Elle being accepted despite the fact that she’s part human.
I saw Sara and some of the pack members looking at me and treating me kindly when they had no reason to, and I saw the real you.
Not the Alpha who bought me at an auction, but the man who made sure I knew my choices.
The man who protected me and loved me when love was the last thing on my mind.
I love you, Rael,” she confessed. “I think I’ve loved you for a while, but I was too scared to own up to it. ”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of choosing something for myself instead of duty. Scared of wanting something that felt selfish. Scared of loving you and then losing you like I’ve lost everything else.” Alanis blinked back fresh tears. “The Lumen saved my life. But you—you made me want to actually live it.”
Rael’s hands tightened on hers. “You’re really staying?”
“I’m really staying.” She smiled. “I would like to build a life here. I would like to wake up in your house in the morning. I would like to continue working with trauma survivors, but as a part of the pack rather than the Lumen. I would like to eat dinner with your family and watch Isa grow up, and maybe someday….” She stopped, her cheeks heating up.
“Maybe someday what?” Rael prompted.
“Maybe one day we will have a family of our own. If that’s something you want, of course.”
“Alanis, I want it all with you—a family, a home, a future—all of it.”
“I have to speak to Deva. I have to make sure she knows I did not abandon the Lumen. That I will continue to help her and be available when she needs me. But my home now is here. With you.”
“Whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy. We will make it work.”
Alanis looked at him—this man who had turned her whole world upside down and somehow made it even better.
“I love you,” she said again. “I love you, Rael, and I’m choosing you. I’m choosing us. I’m choosing this life we can build together.”
Rael pulled her into his arms, ever mindful of her wounds. “Say it again.”
“I love you,” Alanis said, kissing his chest.
“Again.”
“I love you.” She pulled back to look into his eyes. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
Rael crashed his lips against hers in a sweet and gentle kiss. “Best words I’ve ever heard.”
“Better than me staying?”
“They are both tied for first place.” He smirked against her mouth. “I do not mind if you wish to continue saying them.”
“I love you,” Alanis giggled, kissing him between words. “I love you. I love you.”
Rael moaned, threading his hand into her hair. “You are making it hard for me to be a gentleman.”
“Who said I wanted a gentleman?”
“Your broken ribs, to begin with.” Rael pulled back, his eyes hazy with desire and concern. “You need to heal, Alanis. We have time. We don’t need to—”
“I need you. I want to feel alive. I want to feel loved. I want to feel anything but pain and fear.”
She watched him falter and saw the moment his restraint broke.
“We do this slowly, carefully. And if anything hurts—”
“I will let you know.”
Rael stood, lifting her gently into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her inside and up the stairs to their bedroom.
He laid her on the bed gently, like she was made of glass, his hands gentle as he helped her remove her shirt. The bandages around her ribs were visible, a stark reminder of what she’d been through.
“So beautiful,” Rael murmured, touching the parts of her skin that were not bruised or wounded. “You’re breathtaking.”
Alanis felt tears pricking her eyes. “How do you always know what to say?”
He kissed her collarbone, her shoulder, and continued all the way down her lower body. “Because it is all true and you make it easier.”
He pulled away the rest of her clothes bit by bit, until he had laid her naked before him. Then he simply looked at her—at all the curves, scars, and blemishes.
“Perfect,” he breathed. “Absolutely perfect.”
“I have bruises all over.”
“Evidence of you being a survivor. A fighter.” He gently caressed her thighs. “And mine.”
He settled down between her thighs, his breath hot against her inner thigh. Alanis’s breath caught in anticipation.
He inhaled her deeply. “Fuck, I missed this. I will make you come so much that you will not remember anything but my name. And when you are a boneless, trembling thing, I will make love to you the proper way.”
“Rael…”
He silenced her by thrusting his mouth to her core, running his tongue down her slit.
Alanis cried out, her hands fisting in the sheets. He worked her gently, his tongue circling her clit, thrusting in and out, then going back to that responsive bundle of nerves. “I could spend hours right here. In between your legs.”
Rael took her to the brink of her orgasm once, twice, three times. He stopped right before she could tip over, taking her higher and higher until she could no longer take it.
“Please,” she sobbed. “Rael…fuckkk. Please, I—”
“I know what you need.” He slid two fingers into her core while his tongue worked on her clit. “Come on my tongue, baby. Let me taste you.”
Her whole body spasmed, shaking and trembling as Rael skillfully wrung her orgasm out of her.
But he didn’t stop. His fingers curled within her, thrusting in and out.
“Too much,” she whimpered, trying to push his head. “Too much, Rael, it’s too much.”
“One more,” he groaned against her wet heat. “Give me one more, baby.”
He stretched her with a third finger, sucking her clit even harder.
The next orgasm built impossibly fast, cresting higher than the others, and when it broke, Alanis’s vision went white.
She felt herself floating, disconnected from her body, pleasure so intense it bordered on painful washing over her in waves.
When she came back to herself, Rael was hovering over her, his expression concerned.
“You passed out,” he said. “Just for a few seconds, but—fuck, Alanis, I’m sorry. I pushed too hard—”
“That was unbelievable,” she croaked, panting. “Do not apologize for making me feel so good.”
Rael flushed. “You scared me.”
“Good scared or bad scared?”
“Both.” He touched her tenderly. “Mostly good. Fuck, you’re perfect.”
He was still dressed, and Alanis could feel his hard cock against her thigh. “I need you inside me. Now.”
“Your ribs—”
“Will be all right as long as we are careful.” She reached for his belt. “Rael, I need you, please.”
He helped her undress him, revealing the body she’d come to know so well. All hard muscle and strength, marked with scars from years of fighting.
“How do you want to do this?” he asked, clearly trying to think through positions that wouldn’t hurt her.
“On my back,” Alanis decided. “You can control the depth, and it won’t put pressure on my ribs.”
Rael positioned himself between her legs with the head of his cock against her entrance. Alanis felt the stretch as he gradually thrust in.
“Fuck,” he groaned, resting on his elbow as he moved inside of her. “You always feel perfect.”
“Don’t stop,” Alanis gasped. “Keep going.”
He waited until he was fully inside of her. “I love you, Rael.” Alanis wrapped her legs around his waist. “Now move. Please.”
He began slowly, every thrust calculated and precise. But as Alanis clenched around him, her moaning became more and more intense, he slowed down.
“Is this all right?” He huffed. “Am I hurting you?”
“No,” Alanis gasped. “Don’t stop. “
His hips jerked forward, thrusting deeper.
“Like that,” she urged. “Just like that.”
He found a rhythm that was just right—hard enough to please, gentle enough not to hurt her injuries. He rubbed her clit in circles while his cock moved in and out of her. Alanis could feel another orgasm building.
“I love you. I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” Rael groaned, his movements less controlled. “Fuck, Alanis, I’m close.”
“Go on. Come inside of me.”
His strokes became more intense and faster. His thumb rubbed against her clit harder, and Alanis came again, her inner walls closing around him.
“Fuck. Alanis!”
He groaned, his cock spilling inside her and throbbing harder. Rael collapsed beside her, taking care not to lean on her broken ribs.
They panted heavily, drenched in sweat.
“That was—” Alanis began.
“Yeah,” Rael agreed.
Then they began to laugh. Rael drew her close to his heart, while they giggled like kids.
“I cannot believe I fainted,” Alanis said when she was able to breathe again.
“I cannot believe I made you pass out,” Rael grinned. “That will be on my list of greatest achievements.”
“Right next to destroying a trafficking network?”
“Higher, actually.” He pressed his lips against her forehead. “Making the woman I love feel that good? Definitely more important.”
Alanis snuggled closer, wincing as her ribs ached in protest. “I think I need to get some painkillers and sleep now.”
“Good idea.” Rael carefully got out of bed, cleaned her up with a warm towel, and got her a warm set of clothes. Then he grabbed her medicine, a glass of water, and got back into bed with her.
“This is nice,” Alanis sighed in contentment, with her head on his chest. “Just being together with no missions, no threat or crisis hovering on our heads.”
“Yes. We should make it a habit.”
“Revolutionary concept.”
They remained in silence for a couple of minutes, then Alanis whispered, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For giving me the freedom to make this decision. For not pushing me or making me feel guilty or trying to manipulate me to stay here.” She planted a kiss on his chest. “For loving me enough to let me go if that was what I had to do.”
“Always. Whatever you need, Alanis. I am always here.”
“I know,” she said. “That’s why I’m staying.”
And as sleep pulled her under, warm and safe in Rael’s arms, Alanis finally felt something she hadn’t felt in eight years—she finally felt like she was truly at home.