Epilogue Matysh
One Year Later
Grigori cries on Catarina's lap as she slowly rocks him up and down. Even though she's been sleep deprived for the past four months, barfed on, peed on, and had breast milk leak through most of her shirts, Catarina smiles.
And she even smiled when she found out one was actually two. We were having twins.
She stares at our sons every day with an amount of love and wonder in her eyes that always amazes me. On top of that, I find that motherhood has only served to make her more fucking beautiful and addictive.
Ya ne mogu nasytit'sya svoyey zhenoy (I can’t get enough of my wife).
“Maybe they just want their grandma to hold them,” my mom says as she swoops in and grabs them from Catarina, already bouncing Mikhail II on her hip.
“She knows they’re going to be spoiled rotten,” my mom continues.
Catarina laughs, leaning back and taking a deep breath when our son is out of her hands.
“You can't spoil them too much or they might be poor leaders,” my dad calls after her when she walks away, patting Grigori on the back. “We need these boys to be strong men.”
“Is that why I wasn't given toys as a child?” I ask, nudging my father on the arm.
He turns to me with a weary look in his eyes. Over the past year, he's only gotten worse. Honestly, I think a part of him has just been hanging on so he could see his grandchildren. He's in a wheelchair now, and every breath he takes looks like it strains him.
“Maybe it seemed harsh at the time, but look where that got you,” he says, gesturing to the beautiful house around me, my gorgeous wife sitting next to me.
“Fair point.”
Catarina laughs and gets up to change now that she's free.
It's Christmas Eve, and the house is decorated to the nines. This year, Catarina and I went shopping for decorations together, and she's come up with a theme for every room. She told me it was inspired by the light display we went to last year.
It’s a lot. She’s a lot. But it’s fine.
That's going to be our tradition now. We'll go to that display every year and decorate the entire house after being inspired by the themes. That and Christmas Eve dinners with family.
Leonidas made an incredible meal for all of us, and my parents are spending the night, mostly to spend more time with their grandsons. Plus, I asked my mom for a little extra help because of something special I have planned for Catarina.
The past year has been difficult. With Boris gone and Catarina being the de facto heir to the Petrov family, there has been a lot of retaliation.
Some people don't want a woman leading them, and some of them don’t want to be a part of the new Volkov-Petrov family.
Many of them fell in line and have slowly begun to ingratiate themselves with my family.
We’ve made a hell of a reconciliation with Mauricio though.
And Nikolai has become my second-in-command.
Despite it all, it worked out for the best. We’re more fucking powerful than ever. And I intend to keep it that way.
Catarina comes back out in a fresh blouse, her hair tied back in a loose braid she likes to wear. Through the unbuttoned top of the blouse, I can see the locket with Mikhail's picture. It’s a reminder of what we’ve been through to get here.
My mom dotes on Grigori and Mikhail II, both of them staring up at her in wonder.
She volunteers to put them both to bed because she hasn't been able to put a baby to sleep for over thirty years. Catarina agrees to let her, and snuggles up against me as we watch Miracle on 34th Street with my dad.
Do I have any interest in a bunch of fucking Christmas movies? Absolutely not. But I’ve found that there’s a lot of give and take in a marriage. And because I love her, I’ll give her whatever the hell she wants—even if it’s shitty Christmas movie marathons.
My eyes drift to the window as I hold my wife in my arms. Snow falls outside and the world is quiet and peaceful. It's warm inside, and the smell of the Christmas tree and good food lingers in the air.
I’ve never cared for the holidays, but this is something I could get used to.
After about an hour, my father nods off and I help my mom get him into bed. I say good night to them both before heading back out to the living room where Catarina is waiting, her eyes also heavy with sleep.
“Come with me,” I say, turning off the TV and holding my hand out for her to grab. She eyes me suspiciously and grabs hold of my hand. I stand behind her, covering her eyes as I lead her outside.
“It’s cold,” she says, chattering her teeth.
“Keep your eyes closed,” I command, guiding her to the exact spot I need her to be in before I grab a blanket to wrap around her shoulders.
I rush back and stand in front of her, grabbing ahold of both of her hands and smiling as I tell her to open her eyes.
She looks at me before taking in her surroundings. Her blue eyes soak in all the light from the glittering Christmas lights hanging in an arch above us. She smiles at the aisle I created in the snow with candy cane sidewalk lights and small Christmas trees decorated with red and gold ornaments.
“What is this?” Catarina lets out a laugh. “It looks like a North Pole wedding or something.”
I chuckle, my cheeks burning in the cold. “We didn't get married on our own terms, and because of that, we never exchanged wedding vows,” I explain.
I clear my throat. “This isn't an official ceremony, and no one else is around to witness it—thank fuck, because I feel like a cheesy weirdo. But it doesn’t matter, because this isn't for anyone else.
It's just for us to commit ourselves to each other, not to our families, not to peace. This is just because I love you, and I want to share this moment with you.”
“I can't believe you did this,” Catarina says, completely awestruck. I pull a folded-up piece of paper out of my pocket, and Catarina clasps a hand over her mouth in surprise. “I didn't prepare anything.”
“It's okay,” I say, laughing as I squeeze one of her hands and begin.
“It’s more important that I give them to you.
Our marriage began unconventionally, and I thought I could never truly let you into my life.
But soon enough, I realized you were mine, not just in name, but in heart.
You became something I couldn't live without.
Now, you are my world, the mother of my children, and the reason my house feels like a home.
Without you, I wouldn't know love, and for that, I will be grateful to you the rest of my life.
I promise I will always fight for you, protect you, and give you everything I have.
I promise that I'll always love you, no matter what.”
I fold up the paper and stare at her, watching as a few tears stream down her face. She uses her shoulder to wipe the tears away.
“You don’t have to say anything,” I reassure her, leaning in for a kiss. But she shakes her head.
“I've actually thought about what I would have said to you at our wedding a thousand times,” Catarina laughs.
“On that day, I wanted to hate you. I wanted you to know how much of an asshole I thought you were.
When I realized what was happening, I didn't think there would ever be a chance I could love you.
I had someone else in my heart, and I wasn't willing to let any of that go. But…”—her voice cracks—“Over the last year, you've shown me that I don't have to.
You've accepted that there is a part of me that will always love Mikhail, and that doesn't terrify you. Nor intimidate you. And that’s real fucking love.”
Catarina squeezes my hands tight, staring up at me with a smile.
“We might have started off on the wrong foot, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
You gave me our two sons. You showed me what it is to be in love beyond just the infatuation.
You've given me more joy than I ever thought you could.
I am yours, but you're also mine. I love you so much, Matysh.”
She takes a deep breath and nods her head to let me know she's done.
“I think this is where we would have said ‘I do,’ then someone would have told us to kiss,” I say, leaning in. I point up so she sees the fact that I've hung mistletoe above us. “I had to make sure you’d actually kiss me.”
Catarina laughs and wraps her arms around my neck, standing on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. I hold her in my arms, the blanket dropping from her shoulders as I scoop her up and carry her back inside.
I bring her to bed, lying down next to her, knowing that the two of us never have to be apart again.
Because I’ve burned the whole world down for her once.
And I know I’d do it a million times over again.
The End