Chapter 4 #3
I collapsed onto the grass, rolling on my back. The cool air filled my lungs blissfully. A welcome return, as were the sounds and sights of the forest.
Valance stood beside me, looking ahead. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said, getting to my knees. “So happy to see the sky again.”
“We take these things for granted.”
“We never know what we have until it’s almost gone.”
“Wise words, Kormac,” he said.
I got to my feet. “Sensible, more like. Appreciate what you have because one day it won’t be there.”
“Unless all you have is pain.”
Here came his self-pity again.
Don’t be cruel!
“Sorry,” I whispered in response to my negativity’s smackdown.
Valance didn’t seem to notice. “You wanted to bargain with her, didn’t you? With Clementine. Take my life and spare yours. Be free of me and this bond.”
“I—”
“I don’t blame you if you did.”
“She wasn’t a goblin with an ear for a bargain.”
He nodded, drawing a deep breath. “Shall we move away?”
I checked my compass. “Follow me.”
We found a cave by a spring far away from the goblin tunnels. Water poured gently from a small rock formation beside the cave entrance, feeding into a small pool of fresh water. Slivers of moonlight rippled on its surface.
“Pretty,” the prince said softly.
The cave was more of a hollowed-out space than the beginning of a dark network. Which was good. There were no hidden depths for things to crawl out of. I was too tired to fight anymore tonight.
Drinking from the spring first, I gathered us some berries from some bushes nearby. Edible berries. Red and delicious, packed with sweet juice.
“How do you know they’re not poisonous?” Valance asked. “Sorry, I know you’re good at these things. I would just like to know.”
He wanted to do this now? I suppose it was important for him to know.
“You can ask,” I said. “It all depends on color and size. White and yellow are normally bad. As are pink. Red and purple are edible, but you have to make sure you check the leaves because color isn’t a surety.” I held up the leaf of the berry tree. “You see this has four leaves?”
“Yes.”
“Four leaves are always good.”
“Unless the berry is white or yellow?” he asked.
“That’s right. Never more or less than four. And I know these are Red Sun berries, which grow here in Summer. They make a nice jam.”
“They certainly do. And those white berries over there?”
“Moon Berries. They’re not deadly, but they’d give you the shits for a week.”
He wrinkled his nose and said nothing more.
We ate in silence inside the cave, backs against the far wall. Clinging to the shadows with a view of the outside. My senses were alert, waiting to pick up on anything.
Nothing came. Only a deer to drink from the water, as tightly wound as me. We both watched the beautiful creature, its ears flickering. Now and again it would pause and lift its head before returning to drink its fill.
When it left, I yawned, exhaustion setting in.
“It’s so cold,” Valance said.
He wasn’t wrong.
“We can’t light a fire,” I answered, having already made that clear. “It’ll draw attention.”
“I know,” he said through chattering teeth.
This new life of mine was full of surprises. One after the other. Like this one with me putting my arm around him, pulling him close.
The prince tensed, resisting. “What are you doing?”
“Without a fire, we need to keep warm. All we have is our body warmth.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I don’t want to.”
“You have to. Or would you rather freeze to death? And you know I can’t let you.”
He sighed. “I know.”
“Then let’s just get through the night. Tomorrow we’ll have a fire again.”
“Can you promise that?”
“I never make promises,” I said.
“You don’t?” He was still resisting.
“What’s the point in a promise?”
In the dark, he was nothing but a silhouette, the moonlight not touching this part of the cave. But I could’ve sworn I saw him frown at me.
“What about your word?” he asked.
“What about it?”
“Well, don’t you ever give your word?”
“That’s different.”
“It’s a promise.”
“Not to me. Not anymore. I see a promise as a solid declaration. A complete, unbreakable statement that goes against the rules of life and death. Giving my word is me saying I’ll do my best.”
“That makes no sense.”
“To me, it does. That’s what happens when you lose your best friend, I suppose.”
I winced at my words.
Silence fell between us for a few moments.
“This a new way of thinking for you,” he said.
“That’s right.”
“It sounds complicated. Unhopeful.”
Because of you. “That’s where I am.”
Sorry… I countered my biting thought.
“I think I’d like to sleep now,” he said.
“Okay.”
He stopped resisting, shuffling closer to me. We didn’t lay down but huddled, sitting up. He slipped his arms around me, mine locking across him. His head rested on my shoulder, and before long, his breathing was the breath of sleep.
The soul bond liked him there, made me think of him painted in the heavens, a bright image on a canvas made of stars. A precious thing to care for, to keep safe from harm.
But somewhere in the darkest places I couldn’t reach, couldn’t even think about, was my hatred. Ready to pick up like a sword when it could be mine again, then driven into his cold, cold heart.
Is it really cold?