Sullha
She searched for the slight disturbance in the air that would tell her he was standing right next to her, but if he was there, he wasn't near enough for her to feel him.
He'd said he would come, but something unexpected could have made him late, or worse, prevented him from coming at all.
She checked to see if Tomek was looking her way.
If Yaaf's thrall was active, Tomek would ignore her and keep playing.
He was on the climbing structure with two much older boys, holding the top bar with both hands and looking down at the ground, not at her, but that didn't mean anything.
He might be just ignoring the gathering of women because he was trying to impress the older boys with whatever he was doing.
Hopefully, he didn't plan on doing anything dangerous.
Would Yaaf be fast enough to catch him if he did?
Sullha had a feeling that he would, and once again it struck her how much she'd grown to rely on him.
She needed a sign from him, but she couldn't wait any longer, and she also couldn't talk about the possible escape without reassurance that it was safe either. She had no choice but to speak about the teaching positions, and she had nothing prepared. She would have to wing it.
She was about to begin when she felt a hand on her shoulder. A large, familiar hand.
Still, the surprise caught her off guard, and she jumped.
The disembodied hand squeezed her shoulder lightly, reassuring her.
"What happened?" Burda asked.
"I thought I felt a bug bite." Sullha rubbed her neck right next to where Yaaf's fingers still lingered on her shoulder, brushing against them to let him know that the message was received.
The women were watching her.
Sullha took a deep breath. "Teaching and volunteer positions are not the real reasons I asked you to come here this evening."
Next to her, Saphira shifted, and Sullha could feel her frown even though she wasn't looking at her.
"It's not?" she asked.
"No. I mean it's true that the children need more teachers, and Saphira and I have been talking about how to expand the schooling program for some time, but I have to admit that it was just the pretext for the meeting."
The women stared at her, some with surprise or alarm, others with a knowing look indicating that they'd been expecting a twist.
"What I'm about to say cannot leave this circle. No one outside the eleven of us can know what is said here. I need each one of you to vow never to mention this to anyone who's not here today. Our lives depend on your discretion."
It wasn't necessary since Yaaf was going to thrall or compel them or whatever it was that he did to make them keep this confidential, but she wanted the women to commit, and the first step was to get them to vow.
"What do you want us to do?" Asira asked.
"Put your hands over your hearts and vow on your eternal soul to keep what is about to be said here a secret."
Her mother shook her head. "Do you really believe that you can trust a vow made by a slave? They could say anything you ask them to say and then run to betray you to the nearest guard in exchange for some trinket."
It wasn't anything Sullha hadn't thought herself, but having it said so bluntly, so bitterly, carried a punch.
"I don't know every woman in this circle well, but I don't believe any will betray me after they hear what I have to offer. I believe that each one of you still retains enough self-respect to stand by her vows, and that's why they will suffice."
She waited until all the women put their hands over their hearts and mumbled their version of a vow. She didn't even pay attention to the particular words they used because her mother was right and words didn't mean much.
She took another breath and prepared to say the sentence she'd been rehearsing since this morning.
"There is a way off the island. A path to freedom."
The stunned silence that followed wasn't a surprise. None of them had ever imagined hearing such words uttered in the enclosure.
"In two nights' time, a team is going to come to get us out of here and then off the island.
They will take us to a safe place where we will get all the support we need.
We will never have to go back to the breeding building, our children will grow up to be free to choose their fate, and no one will come for them to either take them to a training camp or the breeding building. "
Karina's mouth had opened, then closed, and the others were in a similar state of shock.
Asira reached for her mother's hand, and Baruha took it without looking.
Rohilah tightened her arms around Bianca, who must have sensed the gravity of the moment and hadn't made a sound.
Saphira didn't seem surprised. She had been suspecting something, but she couldn't have guessed this.
Leehy had not moved. Her eyes were still on Sullha's. The small red glow that Sullha had seen behind her mother's eyes on the bench by the laundry was visible now, and it was brighter than it had been the first time.
"How?" Karina asked, and the word came out cracked.
"I cannot tell you the operational details.
There are things I don't know, and there are things I do know that I'm not going to share, because the more each of you knows, the more dangerous it is for all of us.
What I can tell you is that the plan is real, and the decision of whether to come or stay is yours.
I think we have a very good chance of getting out of here, and I'm willing to risk it so my son can grow up to be whoever he wants to be and not another soldier for the Brotherhood's army. "
"What about the sons who were already taken?" Mirumah asked.
Sullha wondered whether she should tell them about the soldiers who asked her to find their mothers.
Some of them had brothers in the army, but no one had told her whether there would be an effort made to free them as well, and she had a feeling that there wouldn't be.
It was too risky to approach other soldiers, even siblings.
Then again, the next logical question the women would ask was why them, and then she would need to reveal that their sons were responsible for their path to freedom.
She turned in the direction of where she thought Yaaf was, hoping he would give her another sign, but it seemed like she was on her own and would have to decide how much to reveal.
"The team I mentioned is made up of your sons.
I can't tell you which ones, but they are the reason most of you are here.
They made this plan, and they asked me to find their mothers.
" She shifted her gaze to Saphira and Burda who were sitting next to her, and then to her mother.
"The others were chosen by me. Regrettably, we cannot liberate the entire enclosure, and we had to choose who can come.
They chose their mothers and sisters, and I chose my mother and two good friends. "
"I have three sons in the army," Gindah said. "Which one has asked for me?"
"I can't tell you that. You will know the day of the escape."
Gindah put her hands over her face, bent forward, and her shoulders started shaking. After a moment she straightened up, wiped her cheeks with the back of her wrist, and looked at Sullha again.
"I'm coming with you," she said. "No matter which of my sons has asked for me, I owe him to be brave and take what he offered."
"I have only one son," Karina said. "Are you telling me that Armos cares enough to ask for me?"
"Yes."
Karina shook her head. "I am too old to start a new life somewhere else. Some new place where I don't know the rules. I'm no longer of breeding age, and I can die in peace here."
Sullha glared at her. "Or you can live freely in peace and not die a slave."
Karina did not respond immediately. She looked down at her hands, then up at Sullha, then over at the other women.
"I can't believe that my son wants me to go with him. Did he tell you why?"
"I don't communicate with all of them," Sullha admitted. "I'm only speaking with one."
"How?" Asira asked.
"I can't tell you that. It will put him at risk."
"No immortal warrior can get in here," Baruha said. "And there is no way any of us can get out to talk with one of them."
Sullha had expected those rebuttals, but she couldn't answer them without revealing too much.
"There is a way, but I can't give you details. I'm risking a lot by contacting you and telling you all this out here in the open. You will have to trust me."
"I don't know you," Baruha said.
"But I do." Asira squeezed her mother's hand. "I know Sullha, and she's trustworthy. I'm going with her, and I want you to come. Camdor asked for us, and I'm not going to disappoint him. You shouldn't either."
Tears appeared in Baruha's eyes. "I disappointed him enough already. I will not do that again. I'm going with you."
"Good."
"I have two sons," Zohara said. "Can you tell me which one asked for me?"
Sullha really didn't want to be the one to tell Zohara that one of her sons no longer lived, but she didn't want to lie to her either.
"I'd rather not say. You'll have to wait to see which son is waiting for you on the day we make our escape."
Zohara nodded. "I'm going."
Rohilah adjusted the sleeping Bianca on her lap. "I'm in. I'll do anything to save my daughter from this fate."
Sullha had expected that was what Rohilah's response would be, but it was still a relief to get a confirmation.
In fact, it was incredible that all of the mothers wanted to go. Well, she hadn't gotten a confirmation from her own mother yet, and she was still waiting for Saphira and Burda.
She turned to the one she thought would be the easiest to convince. "Saphira?
"I am torn," she said. "I am the only teacher the younger children have. If I leave, who teaches them? Who explains the world to them in a way that makes it bearable?"
The question was not just for Sullha. It was for everyone.
"I cannot just abandon them," Saphira said.
"You're not abandoning them. They will have others to teach them. You have the right to choose yourself."
Saphira was quiet for a long moment, her gaze shifting to the climbing equipment where Tomek was now alone.
She sighed. "You are right. As selfish as it feels, I have an obligation to myself to seize this opportunity.
If I survive the escape, I will feel terrible about the children I left behind and wonder what happened to them.
But I'm not going to spend another decade being forced into the breeding building.
If there is a way out of this, I am taking it.
A chance like this will never come again. "
"It might." Sullha leaned over to pat Saphira's knee. "We are not giving up on everyone here. Once we are free, we can plan how to save the others."
Saphira looked doubtful, but she nodded. "I hope one day everyone we are leaving behind will be set free, including the Sacred Mothers. They are just doing their best to survive."
She wasn't wrong, but it was more complicated than that. The Sacred Mothers were dangerous because they were brainwashed and fanatical. Women who could rejoice in being used by strangers for breeding and not feel sorrow when their sons and daughters were enslaved were a lost cause.
Logic didn't speak to them.
The other women didn't say anything, and Sullha wondered whether they felt guilty as well. Karina's eyes were on Saphira, Gindah's were on the ground, Baruha was holding Asira's hand, and Rohilah was stroking Bianca's soft wisps of hair.
Sullha turned to Burda. "What about you?"
Burda looked at the other women, then back at Sullha.
"I am not coming." She lifted her hand to stop Sullha from arguing with her.
"Listen to me, girl. I am sixty-three years old.
I've never been outside these walls. Everything I know is here, and I'm too old to learn new things. Besides, I'm needed here."
"That is not true. You're smart, and you'll adapt."
Burda shook her head. "Let it go, Sullha. In your heart, you know that I'm making the right choice. Just admit it."
It was unnerving how easily Burda could read her. What else had she read in Sullha's expressions and body language? Did she know about Yaaf?
"I can't just let it go," Sullha murmured. "You deserve to be free."
"Perhaps," Burda agreed. "But the truth is that I'm free in here, too. I might not be allowed to go wherever I want, but where would I want to go? What would I want to do? My friends are here, and they need me. It's good to be needed. Perhaps even better than being free."
There was wisdom to her words that Sullha couldn't argue with.
Burda no longer suffered like the younger women. She'd already paid her dues to the Brotherhood and to Mortdh.
"I understand," she said. "I don't like it. But I understand your logic."
"Good."
The two of them looked at each other for a long moment, and then Sullha turned to the toughest prospect.
"Are you with us or with Burda?" she asked her mother.
Leehy stared at her, but it wasn't the vacant stare Sullha was used to seeing.
"Burda has something to contribute. I have nothing. Maybe there is something out there worth living for. I want to find out."
To say that Sullha was stunned was an understatement. She'd expected to argue with her mother, to have the other women help her convince Leehy that she should leave, but none of that was needed. Her mother had heard enough to convince herself that there was no point in staying.
"Thank you," Sullha said.
Her mother's eyes widened. "Why are you thanking me? I should be the one thanking you. Fate knows I don't deserve you lifting a single finger for me."
Next to Sullha, Burda nodded in agreement.
"You gave birth to me and raised me," Sullha said.
"You never lifted a hand to strike me or even raised your voice at me.
Given what you were fighting on the inside, that alone was a monumental effort, and you had nothing more to give.
I might not have appreciated that when I was younger, but I'm older and wiser now, and I'm well familiar with the demons you were waging war with. "
Tears appeared in her mother's eyes. "You are so much braver than me, leaving your heart open for love despite what it costs you. I was too broken to allow myself to feel anything. Not for you, and not for Tomek. I'm still broken, but maybe there is hope for me."
Sullha's eyes prickled with tears. "You will heal. We will heal together." She rose to her feet, crossed the short distance to her mother, and crouched next to her. "I'm going to hug you now, and you are going to allow it."
She didn't wait for an answer before enveloping her mother in her arms.