Chapter Eleven
The minute Intro to Torture let out, I grabbed Dora’s hand and rushed out—making for the place we agreed to meet while everyone else stampeded to the mess hall.
“Where are you going?”
I jerked, twisting around in the hallway and finding Ronin right behind me. I left him softly snoring in the seat next to me only moments ago.
“Dorm room,” I told him, willing my racing heart to slow. I showed him the rip in my dress.
The tear I sneakily made with the pear of anguish when I was supposed to be practicing its use on my partner. The pear of anguish was indeed a pear-shaped device made to be inserted into someone’s orifice and then expanded until you mutilated whatever orifice that was.
Funnily enough, even though everyone thought I was a weird mortal freak, everyone wanted to be my partner in torture class because I refused to torture anybody.
“I have to change,” I said to Ronin.
Things had been weird with Ronin, considering those were the first words we spoke to each other all day.
Maybe he sensed that this wasn’t the time to mess with me, because he wasn’t in his room when we left for breakfast that morning, and he wasn’t in the mess hall.
And because he wasn’t in the mess hall, Ursula made it clear the two of us couldn’t sit with them by way of exploding our chairs into splinters and ash.
He was in our morning classes, but all he did was snooze by my side, and as I stared at his beautiful, sleeping face—
—my resolve hardened into sharp determination.
I had to get far away from this man, before I did something that would keep me out of heaven.
I turned my back on him.
“I’m sorry.”
I stopped.
Dora stopped.
Half a dozen students in the middle of heading to lunch stopped.
“I’m sorry,” Ronin repeated, striking me through the heart a second time—saying the words a demon would never say.
“I didn’t mean what I said last night,” he told me as I slowly turned, the breath barely leaving my chest. “I only said all that stupid shit because I was pissed about how you were acting and wanted to snap you out of it. All that meek and compliant stuff was grossing me out. It’s how everyone obsessed with seeing my true face treats me, but not you. Never you.”
I swallowed hard, shaking as he closed the distance between us. This can’t be real. He’s not really saying this. He doesn’t mean it.
“It’s true,” Ronin said softly. “My face can give me anything and everyone I want... and how fucking boring is that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking more and more uncomfortable and annoyed by the second.
But he kept going. “I know I’m supposed to be sloth.
I’m supposed to want everything handed to me on a golden platter, but a life like that is a life where nothing ever happens.
“Things started happening”—I stopped breathing altogether when he took my hand—“when I met you.”
Badum. Badum. Badum. My heart was thumping so loudly in my ears, I shouldn’t have been able to hear him, but I was certain I would’ve even if a herd of elephant demons stampeded between us.
“Life’s fun now. There’s something to live for now,” he said, making me flush down to my toes. “That’s why I never would’ve left you with those shitheads, even if you did choose them. You’re mine,” Ronin stated as though it was simple fact. “No one else can have you.
“But I also don’t understand you,” he confessed.
“You’re a weirdo with horrible taste in clothes and people who can’t string together a single sentence that doesn’t have a dozen made-up words in it.
I don’t know. It must be the mortal thing.
I guess everyone up there is an unintelligible freak that dresses like a clown,” said the fucking work-in-progress.
“But you’re my freaky, mush-mouth clown, and there’s no part of that... or you... that isn’t perfect.”
“My gods,” someone whispered, staring as dumbfoundedly at us as everyone else was. “Is that really Ronin? What’s he saying?”
“Dude’s drunk off his ass right now,” someone else replied.
“So,” Ronin groaned, throwing his head back. “You’ve got to help me out here. I don’t want to hurt or break you, and I don’t want anyone else doing it either, but you’re not normal, so power, gold, and incredible, bed-breaking sex don’t please you.”
Should I just kill him now?
“You’ve got to tell me what you need to be happy, and then I’ll give it to you, and then you’ll do that thing with your face.” Ronin rolled his eyes, kissing his teeth. “The stupid mutt called it communication, or something like that.”
I blinked, momentarily snapping out of it enough to find my voice. “Wait, the stupid mutt? Are you talking about Tristan?”
“Yeah.” Ronin bared his teeth just talking about him.
“I asked him last night how to fix you, and he droned on about all that communication bullshit. Said you mortal women all get wet for it, especially when it starts with an apology— Oh, the apology was that sorry stuff in the beginning,” he said, thinking he actually had to explain it to me. “He swore it works every time— Wait.”
Ronin stiffened, fury erupting on his face. “Is it not working? Did that fucker trick me?” He spun around. “I knew he was pulling this shit out of his ass! I’ll kill him!”
“No, wait,” I blurted, holding tighter to the fingers laced through mine. “It is,” I whispered, and then had to fan my flaming cheeks. “It’s... working.”
“Yeah?” Ronin broke out into a grin that made me blush deeper. “Well, look at that, the furry fuck is good for something after all.”
I roughly cleared my throat, drawing closer to him to hide my face from the shameless, gaping onlookers. “But since when do you and Tristan chat?” I asked. “He’s too busy to talk to me, but he’ll give you dating advice?”
“Hmm. Oh, yeah,” Ronin breezed. “The fucker said I had to tell you this too. That it was like hon-neesty, or whatever. So, he’s not ignoring you. I sent you a fake text saying he wanted nothing to do with you, and then blocked his number from your phone.”
I flew back, goggling at him. “You did what?! What the hell’s wrong with you! Why would you do that!”
“Because he was sniffing around you, trying to lift his leg and mark what’s mine.” Ronin eyed me, and my hanging jaw. “Oh, you’re mad again. Okay, wait, I know this one.” Cupping my cheek, Ronin looked me dead in the eye and said, “Sorry.”
Bulging eyes reflected his completely serious face. This dude actually believed sorry was all it would take to get him out of trouble. I stared at him—
—and busted out laughing. “Haha! Ahaha!”
I grabbed his arms to hold on to him, tipping over and dropping my head on his chest.
His hand flashed and grasped my chin. Lifting me up, his gaze caressed every inch of my face—soaking me in with stunned fascination. “Wow,” he whispered. “Beautiful.”
My gods. How was it possible for this much blood to rush to my face, and I not pass out?
Reaching up, I curled my fingers around his. “The things you’ve said and done aren’t okay, Ronin, and if you really mean what you just said...” My voice and expression hardened. “I won’t have to tell you this again.”
“I meant what I said.” He stroked my cheek. “But I also meant it when I said you have to tell me what you need. So, how about tonight we make a new contract?” Ronin tipped his head. “And I won’t rip this one up.”
I hesitated. Was I really having this conversation?
I’ve already made up my mind to go. Radu’s waiting to take us both to Pomaris.
Even if Ronin means what he says, he’s still talking about me like I’m his possession.
My priority first and foremost has to be getting Dora her soul back and getting her out of hell, and the only way to do that is to find the hallows.
Every day Ronin gets in the way of that, is another day my sister has to wait to get her literal life back.
But what if he’s truly sincere? another voice asked. If all he wants now is my happiness, then I’ll tell him to prove it by breaking the sub bond, letting me talk to Nik, and helping me with an offering for the dryads. If he refuses, that’ll make my decision to leave really simple.
“Okay,” I heard myself say. “Tonight. Let’s talk.”
“Good.” Dipping down, Ronin kissed me soft, slow, and mind-scrambling.
I was still dizzy when he turned us around to leave.
“Lunch?” he asked.
Sense suddenly returned. “Oh, wait, I have to change my dress, remember?” I slipped my hand out of his. “We’ll meet up with you in the mess hall.”
“Sure,” he said, accepting that easily.
I didn’t move until he disappeared around the corner with the gawkers trailing after him.
“Let’s go, D.”
I headed in the direction of the dorms, urging Dora on.
“Is everything okay, Nadia?” Dora asked. It was a valid question. I was pulling her along pretty fast.
“Everything’s fine. What do you want for lunch? I heard the Sins have demanded the kitchen staff start taking orders. They say that empresses don’t eat off the buffet line.”
“Will I be an empress too?”
“Do you want to be one?” I peered left to right, looking and listening for a single sign that anyone else was about.
There was no reason for anyone to follow me, but Lucifer had made it clear that he was tracking my every move.
A part of me was afraid that if he found out we were planning to crash his party in Pomaris, he’d try to stop us.
The night they rescued me from Lucifer and Mother, Ronin asked why Lord Satan was letting me run around free—spilling his plans to whoever I liked—instead of keeping me on a short leash.
I gave Ronin the first answer I could think of then, but the truth was, I didn’t understand it either.
Why wasn’t Lucifer keeping me by his side so he could hold the whip while he spurred me on in the hallow hunt?
Was there a reason he was keeping me in Abaddon?
Was there a reason he sent Dora to me instead of bringing me to him?