Chapter Twenty-Eight
Scarlett
I didn’t think it could hurt so much.
But it does.
Even my toes hurt.
Everything that could go wrong, did. I lay on my bed, hugging Mr. Figglesmort to me and close my eyes. When I got home yesterday, I took all the money paid for my work and paid my bills and sent the rest to my brother.
He’s been calling, of course he has, but I haven’t listened to any messages or read the texts. He needs the money. This is why I did this. I know it’s not anything near the amount he needs to dig himself out of the hole and start again, but it’s something. I failed.
As for me?
I applied for jobs. After all, what did Hudson say? I’m poor and no one would ever believe he’d choose me. The words, the sentiment sting. I’m not good enough for him. Lower than low.
Worst thing is, I never meant to hurt him at all. I wanted to help. I started out trying to help my brother first and foremost, but even before I got to know Hudson, I’d never have tried to screw him over. Just help. The deeper I got, the more I wanted that.
And now here I am. On my bed at eleven am, hugging a ratty old bear like I’m six. Feeling pathetic and sorry for myself.
The knock on my door rouses me.
With a sigh, I open my eyes, put the bear down and get up, crossing to the door.
Amber’s there, a worried expression in her dark eyes. “Should I ask?”
“No.”
“He’s just a man. And this is New York.”
I stop her, putting my hand on her arm. “It’s complicated.”
“And you’re miserable.” She gives me a hug, enveloping me in a cloud of spice-laden perfume. “Listen, if this guy doesn’t appreciate what he has, then don’t fuck him.”
And I laugh, in spite of the misery rocking me.
From behind me my phone buzzes and I know it’s Danny.
“Scarlett, if you need to get away, say the word. My cousin’s got a place upstate, Catskills, it’s pretty basic, but it’s great and there for the using if you want to just escape…you know…”
“Thanks, Amber. I’ll keep it in mind.” I give her a hug back. “You’re the best.”
She winks. “I know! I have to head to work, but just remember, no man is worth misery.”
And she’s gone. I go to my room and close the door, leaning against it. She might be right, but how do I tell my heart that? I straighten up and go to the bedside table and pick up my phone. Yep, Danny. And this time, I can’t miss the text that followed his call.
What the FUCK? Five pm. Essex Wine Bar. NO EXCUSES.
Shit. I do not want to face him and let him down. I’m letting down everyone. The money I sent him isn’t going to save him, just buy time and that hurts, too.
I take a breath as I note the time. Thing is, I’m going to have to meet up with him. He’s my brother, but I have time to kill today. It’s still fairly early, and…
Devastation might have set up house inside me, but I’m not going to let down the other man I love. I can’t do anything for Danny—any more than I’ve done, but I’ll be there for him. But Hudson…
I’m not going to let him lose the things that are important to him. I can’t.
That’s just too much loss and I didn’t set out to hurt anyone. He might not want me, but it doesn’t matter. Love isn’t about gratification, it’s about being there and giving, and being the best you can be. I’m not saying hang around when it’s futile, but I built this, I also brought it tumbling down. The least I can do is rebuild. For him. And then quietly go away.
I go to grab the manilla envelope and it’s not there.
I never opened the thing, but it’s got all the information I need in there, and—
Horror spreads through me.
I dropped it. On the floor of his office.
I take a breath and grab my laptop from the bedside table where my phone had been resting and open it up.
All I need is a phone number. Just one. And some luck.
I’m wearing one of the work outfits Amber and I put together as I sit in the quiet, eucalyptus-scented waiting room.
It’s cool. Voices are low and it’s what I’d expect from a high-end, old school law firm. Stately, traditional, and deceptively lush. Nothing is over the top. Everything costs a fortune, and it does nothing to offend or entice. It just is.
And I’m so nervous that the tiniest sound makes me jump. Like when the receptionist comes up to me and I scream. Just a little.
The elegant woman stares a moment, then smiles politely. “This way.”
I’m led down the hushed, wide hall to an office and guided inside. It’s just as lovely as the rest, but clearly this isn’t an office someone calls home.
After five minutes, I’m about at the end of my tether when someone speaks behind me. “Miss Colton?”
I twist to face him. He’s the infamous Jenson, has to be, because this is too important to leave to anyone else. “Yes.”
“I’m Edward Jenson, and this is a week early.” His gaze is cool as it runs over me and I get the feeling behind that poker face he’s surprised by what he sees. I almost say join the club, but somehow, I manage to keep a lid on my mouthiness. “Unusual.”
“These are unusual times,” I say, aiming for poise and sophistication and missing.
He doesn’t move from where he stands. “Usually, I’d have your fiancé here.” And his gaze now drops to my hand.
“It’s early days. Hudson said this was important to him, and so it’s important to me.”
“We did have an appointment.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “Unusual times. Can we…can we start?”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
The word is the easiest thing to say and the most painful because I know the love is one sided. Even if we were to make things work out after this, it would always be like that. Because Hudson doesn’t believe in love. And that breaks my heart.
“And is he in love with you?”
“He’s Hudson.” As if that settles the matter. And I clench my hands together and I struggle to stay calm. “But he has his own way, you know? And I’m here.”
The man nods slowly. “So you are. Shall we get started?”
The aftermath is a blur. I’ve no idea how I did, as the questions weren’t anything like I thought. Jenson asked if I needed a car anywhere, but I just said I’m heading to the Lower East Side, so I could get there on my own.
I walk, as I have time, and from midtown it’s a decent walk through the changing neighborhoods.
I have no idea if what I told him was right, it all felt right. I know enough about Hudson from working with him and spending time with him. And…I did my best. I don’t know shoe size or his tailor, but as I said I know Hudson is about quality, not what’s labeled the best. That he’s the hardest working man I’ve ever known; and the smooth and sophisticated surface hides so many depths that it would take a lifetime to explore them all.
I cross Essex to the bar, and I’m a few minutes early, but my brother is already there, outside, pacing, waiting for me. He crosses his arms and glares.
“Why did you lie to me?”
“Danny…”
He shook his head. “I warned you about the Sinclair empire, and you went and got involved with Hudson and tried to say you’re not?”
“It wasn’t like that. I took on a job for him to try and help you, only I—”
“What?”
I swallow, hating that I hurt him. The noise of the street fades to the in my ears as I quickly outline my plan and what happened. Only I don’t mention the contract. I don’t mention that part at all.
“I knew it,” he says when I’m done.
“Knew what?”
“Knew you’d get yourself hurt by working for him. I could sense there was more than you working for Hudson.” He sighs. “He isn’t for us. I thought I wanted to work for him, but that’s out of the picture and nothing will change that.”
“You need the money.”
Danny nods and slides his hands in his pockets. “You’re my big sister and you’ve taken it on yourself to help me. And that’s on me because when I first got in deep shit with my stupid decisions in trusting my business partner I borrowed some money from you. And I’ve used you as my sounding board and you… Scarlett, you can’t fix things for me. I’m not asking and I should never have asked you in the first place. I’ve had my head up my own ass so long I missed all the signs.”
“What signs?” We’re outside the bar, but right now, I wish we were inside, and I was knee deep in drinks. But something tells me drowning my sorrows isn’t going to help.
He toes a piece of old newspaper on the pavement with his boot. “Everything you’ve been doing since college. You had plans, Scarlett, until you didn’t. At first, I figured the years of odd jobs were a way to save up to go to grad school. But there’s been a letter buried on your coffee table from Berkley.”
I stare at him. “There is?” Then I bite my lip. “I forgot about that. I didn’t open it. I need to throw that out.”
“It was an offer of a place way back at the beginning of the year. I know, I opened it. I only just started thinking about it with all this. And the huge amount of money you sent me.”
“I can’t afford that degree. It’s not a scholarship.”
“You could if you used this money.”
“It’s yours.”
He sighs and steps up to me and gives me a hug, and I stay there, listening to the steady, familiar beat of my brother’s heart. “I’m not a kid. And I’d rather you respected that, Scarlett.” He kisses the top of my head. “These are my mistakes and I’ll find a way to fix them, and make my career happen—even if I have to abandon it for now while I get out there and work. I’m not taking your money, okay?”
“I did it for you.” I try to pull free, but my brother tightens his hold.
“Yeah, and we’re okay, honestly. I love you and I’m going to be better than okay, but you have to look after you, not me.”
This time I pull away. “Danny, I always keep my eye out on you. I promised Gran—”
“But you took on more than you should, more than I wanted you to do. Now, I’ve got a meeting here at the bar for a job. I’m thinking I can work here, and start from scratch with the real estate, you know? Rebrand, start renting out little places here and there and build. But first, I’m going to earn the money, not you. And if you like this Hudson—”
“Don’t.” I wrap my arms around my waist. “I screwed that up, too. And—”
“You’ve a good heart, Scarlett. I don’t know all the details, only you took on a job with him, but…” He smiles like he suspects there’s more to it than I’ve told him. “If he doesn’t see what he’s got, then he doesn’t deserve you. Because maybe you took the job to help me, get in with him, put in a good word, but you care about him.”
“Go to your interview. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“We’re good?”
“We are.”
I sniff and my eyes get a little blurry as he goes into the bar. I’m sort of at a loss on the street. All I’ve done is just make a huge mess of everything. Even Danny claims he doesn’t need my help and I did all that for…what?
I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m on my own, needing a job. And maybe I can go back to my AI work. Maybe a move would be good. I don’t know. I start towards the train when a sleek, spotless cream-colored car pulls to a stop and a door opens.
It’s Faye. Hudson’s mother. She’s looking completely perfect as usual and she pats the seat next to her. “Get in. Please.”
I’m so shocked I do.
“Scarlett. I was waiting for you.”
I frown. “How did… Did you follow me?”
His mother smiles.
It’s the only explanation I can think of. Either that or she’s got some scary ass psychic powers.
“I’ve been talking to Jenson. But I have to say, you did a good job. Had me fooled.”
“Excuse me?”
“The falling in love thing with my son. He put you up to this, didn’t he? How much did he pay you?”
Everything in me is white cold. The one thing I thought maybe I got right—helping Hudson get what he wanted—I clearly failed. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re not from the Meriweather family, and my son doesn’t believe in love.”
Shit. “That’s something you have to ask him. About the love, anyway. But don’t blame him. Don’t punish him. I only ever lied to him about my background and that was wrong, but…I did it to win him, to get him to see me.” Great, now I’m making him sound like the worst kind of snob. “But Hudson…he’s difficult and sometimes I want to scream, but I love him. I fell in love with him, and I lied to get the job, used my friend’s background and then…we got to know each other.”
She’s just looking at me, not saying a word and I’m…not lying…only omitting the contractual part of it because as I say this, it’s true. I did lie to get a job, and then we got to know each other, and then…
“I don’t know if Hudson will forgive me for my small lie to get the job. But everything else…him and me…it’s true, and he doesn’t deserve to lose out on family history, on something that means the world to him, because I screwed it up.”
“Scarlett?”
“Yes?”
She smiles, and it’s sweet and genuine, and my eyes blur all over again. Damn these stupid tears, anyway. “Have you told my son that?”
“No. He’s mad at me.”
“Maybe you should. While there’s time.”
She taps the glass and we take off and I’m too caught up in the wild ride of emotions inside to even question where we’re going until we stop.
I look out the window.
Hudson’s home.
“I…”
“I hope to see you again, Scarlett,” she says, with a nod to the door.
My fingers are ice as I open it, and as her car zooms away, I slowly turn and look at Hudson’s place.
At the very least, I need to tell him about what I did today.
I do think he’s worth it. And I now have to go do the hardest thing of all.
Face Hudson.