Chapter 6 Areana #2
Areana had asked herself the same question countless times over the millennia.
Every time Navuh's cruelty became too much for her to bear, every time she watched him make decisions that horrified her, every time she had to stand by while innocents suffered, she questioned her devotion to him.
But the flip side of the coin was that she provided balance to Navuh and kept him sane.
Without her, he would have been much worse.
Over the years, her presence next to him had probably saved the lives of millions.
"My place is here." She rose and walked to the double doors that overlooked the interior courtyard. "Many more people would have suffered and died if I weren't here for Navuh. My love for him is what keeps him sane and prevents him from destroying the world."
"How can you love someone who does the things he does?"
Areana turned back to face her. "Because I see all of him, not just the monster everyone else sees. Yes, he's capable of terrible cruelty. But he's also capable of tenderness and a love so deep it consumes him. We're truelove mates, Tula. The Fates bound us together for a reason."
"The Fates made a mistake."
"No, they didn't. Without me, Navuh would be so much worse.
I'm not his prisoner, Tula. I'm his conscience, his anchor to whatever humanity remains in him.
When I moderate his harsh decisions, when I convince him to show mercy, when I soften his cruelty even slightly, that's the Fates working through me.
" She returned to the couch, sitting close enough that their knees touched.
"I've learned to work within the constraints of my reality, to find whatever good I can, to nurture and protect it. "
"Your sons didn't accept those constraints. They left."
The mention of Kalugal and Lokan sent a spike of pain through Areana's chest. "Their freedom is one of my greatest joys, even though their absence is one of my greatest sorrows."
"Then come with us and reunite with your children," Tula pleaded. "Don't you want to see little Darius? To hold him in your arms?"
Areana groaned. "Twist the knife in my heart, why don't you?"
"I'm sorry." Tula lowered her head. "That was a low blow."
Areana cupped Tula's face. "My love, my dear one who is like a daughter to me, I would do anything to spare you pain. But my path and yours diverge here. You must go, for your child and for yourself. And I must stay, for all the reasons I listed."
Fresh tears spilled down Tula's cheeks. "It will destroy him when he finds out you helped us, and I'm afraid of what he will do to you."
Navuh's rage would be terrible, his sense of betrayal absolute. Their relationship might never recover from this deception. But looking at Tula's desperate face, at the protective way she held her slightly rounded belly, Areana knew she had no choice.
"Let me worry about Navuh," she said. "You focus on maintaining your facade until the rescue comes. Can you do that?"
Tula nodded, wiping her tears with the back of her hands. "I have no choice."
"You need to be more careful. No more hypothetical scenarios about escape. No more meaningful looks with Tamira or whispered conversations with Tony. Give the guards nothing to report to Navuh."
Areana poured more tea, pressing the cup into Tula's hands. "Drink. And eat something, please. The baby needs nourishment even if you have no appetite."
Tula obediently took a piece of cheese and chewed mechanically. "What will you tell Annani on Wednesday?"
"The truth. That you're pregnant and desperate. That Tony loves you and wants to raise the child with you. That Tamira has found love with Elias and dreams of freedom. That all four of you are willing to risk everything for a chance at a real life."
"What if she says no?"
Areana's jaw tightened with determination. "She won't. Annani owes me a debt she can never fully repay, and she knows it. I've never asked her for anything before. She won't refuse me this."
"You sound very certain."
"I am." Areana squeezed Tula's hand.
The promise hung between them, fragile as spun glass. So many things could go wrong. The extraction could fail. Navuh could discover their plans. The enhanced soldiers could wreak havoc again.
But Areana pushed those fears aside. Some betrayals were necessary. Some secrets were worth keeping. And some loves, like the love she felt for this younger woman who'd become like a daughter to her, demanded sacrifice.
"I should go." Tula set her empty cup down.
"I'll give you some tea to brew at night. It should help you sleep better." Areana walked into the kitchen and withdrew a tin can containing the calming blend. "Steep it for five minutes in hot water and drink it before bed. It will help you sleep."
"Thank you." Tula took the tea and pulled Areana into a tight embrace. "What will you tell the others after we are gone?" she whispered in her ear.
Areana leaned away and cast her a sad smile. "I will mourn your demise alongside them. They can never know the truth."