Kailin
I should be focusing on purifying my mind and soul in preparation for the pilgrimage, but instead, I'm going to the lodge to mingle with a couple of Elurians because Shovia insists, and I can never say no to her.
—From the journal of Kailin Strom
Idrew a quick sketch of Chicha guarding the house from her perch on the ledge of the living room window, observing the foot traffic outside. It had nothing to do with my journal entry, but she'd just looked so adorable, and the image had stayed with me. I had to commemorate it.
Sometimes I wondered if she remembered that horrible night five years ago as clearly as I did, and if she was dreaming about it when I heard her whimpering in her sleep.
"Kailin!" Gran's voice echoed through the house. "Shovia is here!"
The soft click of tiny claws on wooden floors preceded Chicha as she trotted into my room, her gray-flecked muzzle showing her age, but her dark eyes still bright and alert.
She settled on my bed, watching me as I smoothed an invisible crease in my skirt.
I had sewn it a little over a week ago and had been quite proud of the unique design, but I hadn't worn it yet for lack of opportunity.
Now, I wasn't sure it was suitable for a night out.
I wasn't much of a barfly, and usually I just wore a well-fitting pair of pants for an outing like this, but Shovia had told me to put on something nice, so I figured I might as well show off one of my designs.
"What do you think, girl?" I twirled for Chicha's benefit.
She tilted her head, ears perking forward, and thumped her tail against the bed in what I chose to interpret as approval.
As I opened the door and walked toward our common room with Chicha padding faithfully at my heels, I heard Shovia's animated chatter mixing with my grandmother's laughter.
"There you are!" Shovia's eyes widened as she took in my appearance. "Oh, Kailin, please tell me you're not wearing that to the pub."
I glanced down at my skirt. "Why? You said that you liked it."
"Not for a night out, and it's not just the skirt, it's also your hair." She waved a hand over me. "You look like such a village girl with that braid."
I glared at her. "I am a village girl."
Gran chuckled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Now, now, Shovia. Our Kailin looks lovely as always."
"Thank you, Gran." I shot her a grateful smile.
Shovia rolled her eyes. "Did you even look at the fashion magazine you borrowed from me?"
"I did, but I looked at the latest trends in clothing, not hairstyles."
"Come on." Shovia threaded her arm through mine. "You can't meet the Elurians looking so provincial." She started leading me back to my room.
"Elurians?" My mother's voice was pitched high, tinged with alarm. "I didn't know that you were meeting Elurians."
"We are not meeting them." Shovia assumed an innocent expression, but her eyes sparkled with mischief. "We are not meeting anyone. But in case we bump into Elurian pilgrims, I want us to look sophisticated."
I could see the concern etching itself across my mother's face. "Kailin, are you sure it's wise to go out tonight? The pilgrimage is in just a few days. You should be resting and preparing yourself."
Before I could respond, my father's deep voice rumbled from the doorway. "Stop fretting, Milly. It will be good for Kailin to talk to Elurians. Broaden her horizons a bit."
I shot him a grateful look, but my mother wasn't done. "I just worry, Jayron. You know how difficult the pilgrimage is. I want Kailin to be well prepared."
Like me, my mother secretly hoped I wouldn't get selected. She could barely sleep at night, worrying about Dylon. I didn't want to imagine what a nervous wreck she would be if I turned out to be a dragon rider as well.
My father walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Kailin is tough." He winked at me. "She's gonna make it, and she's gonna make us proud."
My mother snorted, but I had a feeling it was to hide a sob. "I just want our daughter to come back down from that mountain in one piece. I don't care about pride."
"She will," Shovia said. "She's got me and Morek watching her back." She cast my mother a reassuring smile before pulling me by the hand to my room.
Chicha followed us, settling into her favorite spot by the dresser where she could keep watch on both me and the door.
Closing the door behind us, Shovia walked over to my wardrobe and started rummaging through it. "Honestly, Kailin, don't you have anything a little more daring than this ankle-length skirt? Why is everything you make so modest?"
I flopped onto my bed. "We live in the mountains, Shovia. Daring isn't exactly a priority when it comes to clothing. My aim is practicality with a little flair."
There had been a time I wanted to become a clothing designer, but it had never become more than a hobby. I enjoyed the imagining and drawing parts, but I did not like sewing.
She turned back to the wardrobe and pulled out a deep blue dress I hadn't worn in ages.
It was a bit too formal for the bar. "This is much better.
It'll bring out your eyes, and your golden hair will look fabulous draped over it.
" She tossed me the dress. "After I free it from that awful braid and curl it. Where is your curler?"
"In the drawer." I held up the dress.
It wasn't one of my designs, and it wasn't daring, but Shovia was right about it making me look good.
I put on the dress, released my hair from the braid, and let Shovia go at it with the curling iron.
"It's our last big hurrah," I murmured. "One last night of fun before the rest of our lives unfolds."
"Speak for yourself." Shovia wound a section of my hair around the curler. "I intend on partying every night until the pilgrimage, and if I make the Spy Corps, I will get to party for the next four years."
I shivered. "I think you have a misinformed notion regarding what spying entails. The Shedun don't party. They don't even joke. The only things that make them happy are torture and slaughter."
I didn't add the other thing that they enjoyed doing to captive females.
Shovia paused with the curler in hand. "You know that the Spy Corps also operates in Eluria, right?"
"I do, but what if you are sent to Sitoria?"
Chicha let out a small huff of disapproval at all the fuss.
"They wouldn't send me there right away." Shovia wound another strand of hair around the curler. "Only the best of the best are sent into enemy territory, and even as vain as I am, I know that I won't be the best until at least the end of my second year. Until then, I'll party."
I chewed on my lower lip. "I wonder how the Spy Corps reconciles our commitment to the Ten Truths with all the lying and pretending spies need to do."
She paused with the curling iron above my head.
"There are many ways to skirt the truth without actually lying.
We all know how to do that to some extent, and I assume they will teach us even better ways in the training course.
There is also the exception that allows lying to save a life, and that applies to our own lives as well.
I guess that can also be extended to saving Elucia. "
I was surprised that my dear friend, who wasn't a deep thinker or a devout follower of Elu's Truths, had given so much thought to the issue.
"You really are serious about this."
"I am." She picked up the brush and ran it through a section she hadn't curled yet.
"I don't know what they teach there. No one talks about what is done in the Spy Corps.
" She leaned over me and grinned at our reflection in the mirror.
"No one even admits to being accepted. So, if I inform you that I've been assigned to the athletic training department or some other mundane post like that, don't believe me. " She winked at me in the mirror.
When Shovia was done, I barely recognized the girl staring back at me from the mirror. My golden blond hair, which usually couldn't decide whether it wanted to be straight or wavy, cascaded in soft, large waves down my front and back, standing out against the deep blue of my dress.
I looked pretty.
"You look amazing," Shovia declared, a pleased expression on her face. "The guys will fight over you."
I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the small smile that tugged at my lips. "Right. As if anyone would be able to tear their gaze off you long enough to notice me."
Shovia was a knockout, and she knew how to work her assets. Even all dolled up, I was still no match for my best friend, who was half a head taller, had all the right curves in all the right places, and exuded a natural sensuality that enchanted men.
"You underestimate your appeal." Shovia motioned for me to stand up. "Shoulders back," she commanded. "Chin up, and smile." She waved her hand. "Now, walk and sway your hips a little."
Trying to follow her instructions, I felt like an animated mannequin from one of those fancy clothing stores in Podana.
Shovia groaned. "Never mind. You look ridiculous. Just walk like you always do."
She often teased that I walked like a guy, which was ridiculous since I was petite and quite girly. Being practical and preferring comfort didn't make me masculine, just sensible.
As we entered the living room. My mother's eyes widened. "You look lovely, Kailin."
"You look beautiful, sweetheart," my father said. "Have fun, but don't drink more than one beer and don't stay up too late."
As I nodded, I caught Shovia rolling her eyes.
"Watch the house, Chicha." I crouched to scratch behind her ears. She licked my hand once, then sat straight and wagged her little tail. "I'll be back by nine." I stopped by my father's armchair, kissed his cheek, and then did the same with my mother. "Is Gran in bed already?"
"She is watching the news in her room." My mother took my hand while Chicha pressed against my legs, sensing my mother's anxiety as she always did. "Be safe, Kailin. Stay vigilant and hold the repellent spray in your hand at all times."
"It's in my purse." I patted my cross-body satchel.
My mother shook her head. "If there is an attack, you might not have time to reach into your purse and get it. Attach it to the bracelet I got you."
I wasn't about to walk into the bar with a thick elastic band around my wrist and a canister of spray hanging from it.
"I'll be fine." I gave my mother a tight hug. "Shovia and I are meeting Morek and walking to the lodge together. Stop worrying so much."
"I can't help it," she whispered. "I wish you would agree to carry a gun with you."
Since the attack on our village, my mother had become jumpy and jittery, even though she hadn't been there that night. She was even scared to leave the house to go grocery shopping.
As Shovia and I stepped out into the cool air, I heard Chicha's soft whine from behind the door, which I took as a promise to keep watch.
I took a deep breath, letting the crisp mountain breeze fill my lungs and ease the anxious energy that I'd absorbed from my mother. Looking up at the auroras dancing overhead, I admired their beauty for a moment to center myself.
Beside me, Shovia waited patiently. "I know that it is not my place to suggest, but your mother should talk to a healer or, even better, to Saphir."
"Saphir doesn't grant private audiences." I began walking. "He doesn't have time for that."
Shovia snorted. "What does he do between pilgrimages?"
That was a good question. Our shaman rarely made public appearances, and his speeches at big events were mostly televised. It wasn't safe for him to make them in person at scheduled events. That would have been too tempting a target for our enemies and therefore required a massive security detail.
If Saphir appeared at all, it was at random and without giving prior notice. That being said, he rarely missed the blessing ceremony before the start of the pilgrimage. There had been only a few occasions when it had been televised.
I figured that since the pilgrimage itself required heightened security, Saphir could make an appearance without further burdening the guard.
"Maybe he tends to the dragon eggs," I suggested.
"What care do those eggs need?" Shovia asked. "They are extremely hardy and can survive on their own for thousands of years."
The hatching process was a highly guarded secret, and no one other than those serving in the Citadel knew what it involved.
I shrugged. "If they don't need any tending, why have none of the hidden eggs hatched over the years? Saphir must have done something to make the ones he guarded hatch."
"Like what?" Shovia asked. "It's not like he sat on them."
"I don't know." I looked at her. "Maybe they need to be coaxed into hatching."
Since dragons were more or less giant flying lizards, I assumed that their eggs also hatched in reaction to warmth. Then again, dragon babies took a long time to mature, while lizards were independent from birth, so perhaps the comparison was invalid.
When we reached Morek's house, the front door opened, and our friend stepped out looking freshly showered and quite handsome in a dark brown fitted shirt that accentuated his muscular build. His black pants looked laundered and pressed, and his wavy, dark blond hair was slicked back.
I hated to admit it, but he still had an effect on me.
He gave us both a thorough once-over. "You two look good."
"Thank you." Shovia grinned at him. "You're not too bad yourself."
He fell into step beside us, hands shoved into his pockets.
"I hope there are some Elurian ladies this year, but if not, I'm sure there will be plenty of beautiful Elucian girls to choose from.
I prefer homegrown anyway." He sighed. "I wish I didn't get so tongue-tied around Erona.
Why am I cursed to only be able to flirt with girls I'm not serious about? "
"Can't you pretend to yourself that you are not serious about Erona even if you are?" Shovia asked. "After a while, you'll get used to it and won't need to pretend anymore."
He hung his head. "It would be like lying."
"Not at all," Shovia insisted. "Dreaming and imagining are not sinful, and that's all you would be doing. You would be imagining yourself as someone who can talk to anyone."
What she'd suggested was borderline deceptive, but even Saphir would have no problem with that. Our shaman warned against zealotry and lack of flexibility.
As we approached the lodge, I could hear the muffled sounds of music and laughter spilling out into the night, and a knot of anxiety formed in my stomach.
Shovia wrapped her hand around my arm. "Breathe, Kailin. It's just a bar. It's not a worm-breeding swamp."