Chapter 17 Tula #2
Esag busied himself with heating something, and the domestic normality of it was surreal given their circumstances. Here was the man who'd broken Gulan's heart, who'd driven her to run away and abandon her princess and her family, making Tula food like they were old friends catching up.
The old anger tried to surface again, but exhaustion smothered it.
Later.
She'd deal with all of that later.
"Here." He set a plastic tray in front of her—some kind of pasta in red sauce, a side of sad green beans, and a roll that could probably double as a weapon. He added a box of apple juice. "It's not gourmet, but it's calories and nutrients."
"It's fine. Thank you."
He sat across from her, and the awkwardness between them became unbearable. Tula focused on eating, mechanically forking the pasta and beans into her mouth. It tasted like cardboard soaked in tomato-flavored water, but her body needed fuel, and more importantly, her baby needed nutrition.
"How are Areana and Navuh doing?" she asked finally, because the silence was worse than conversation.
"Navuh's in bad shape. Multiple fractures, possible brain damage. Our doctor is doing what he can, but..." He shrugged. "It's touch and go."
"Areana must be frantic."
He nodded. "She's an emotional wreck. She won't leave his side, won't eat, and she barely accepted dry clothes." He paused. "It's rare to see such devotion. Such love."
"Truelove mates," Tula said. "It's nice to have that certainty, but it comes with a steep cost. No matter how monstrous a mate becomes, the bond holds."
Esag's jaw tightened, but he said nothing.
The silence stretched between them, five thousand years of unspoken history filling the space. She could feel questions hovering—his or hers, she wasn't sure—but her exhaustion kept hers unvoiced. She simply didn't have the energy for that conversation right now.
The mess hall door opened, and Tony entered, hair still damp from his shower, wearing ill-fitting clothes similar to hers.
"Food?" he asked hopefully.
Esag stood immediately, looking grateful for the interruption. "I'll heat something up for you."
"Thank you." Tony cast Esag a grateful smile. "You are a lifesaver."
He sat beside her, close enough that their thighs touched.
The casual intimacy of it made her want to pull away.
They weren't together anymore, but he didn't know it yet.
She'd ended it in her heart before the escape, had been prepared to let him believe she was dead.
She hadn't expected to have this conversation. She wasn't prepared for it.
"You okay?" he asked quietly.
"I'm tired. So tired that I can barely think."
"Yeah, me too. That dive was..." He shook his head. "I still can't believe we did that. That we're here. That we're free."
Free.
That word again. She wondered if any of them really understood what it meant. The submarine was taking them to Annani's clan, where they'd be refugees.
Esag set a tray in front of Tony, identical to what she'd been eating. "There's more if you're still hungry after this."
"This is great, thanks." Tony attacked the food with enthusiasm that suggested he either had no taste buds or was too hungry to care.
"When you are done, I can show you to the bunks," Esag offered.
"I'm ready now," Tula said, pushing her half-eaten tray away. "I just need to sleep."
"You should finish eating," Tony said through a mouthful of pasta. "For the baby."
She wanted to argue, but he was right. She forced down a few more bites, drained the juice box, then stood. The room tilted slightly, because of fatigue or the submarine's movement, she couldn't tell.
"I'm done too," Tony said, shoveling the last of his food into his mouth. "Lead the way."
Esag led them to a room lined with triple-stacked bunks. Several were already occupied, the gentle snoring suggesting some of the ladies had collapsed the moment they'd found horizontal surfaces.
"Take any empty bunk," Esag said quietly. "We should reach Safe Harbor in about ten hours."
"Safe Harbor?" Tony asked.
"The clan's island base. It's where we'll transfer to planes for the final leg to the village."
The village. More unknowns.
"What happens to us there?" she asked.
"You make your life anything you want it to be with the full support of your sister and the entire clan."
"Thank you," she said, because it was polite and because, despite their past, he had been helpful.
Esag nodded and left without another word.
Tony immediately claimed a bottom bunk, patting the thin mattress beside him. "There's room for both of us."
"I need my own space." She chose the middle bunk across from him. It required climbing, which her exhausted body protested, but it put distance between them. "I need to sleep."
"You seem…strange. Are you okay?"
"I'm exhausted. We've just escaped from captivity. We're on a submarine with strangers heading to an unknown future. Nothing about this is okay." She pulled a blanket that smelled like mothballs over her body. "We'll talk later. When we're somewhere that isn't moving. When my brain works again."
The mattress was thin, the pillow flat, the blanket itchy. But she was horizontal and dry.
Her hand drifted to her belly, where another tiny butterfly movement signaled that her baby was still alive, still growing, still oblivious to the chaos around him.
He was Tony's baby as well, she reminded herself. Their future was going to be complicated.
"We've made it," she whispered to the tiny life inside her. "I don't know what comes next, but we made it this far."
The submarine hummed around her, its engines a steady vibration that should have been unsettling but was oddly soothing. They were moving away from the island, away from the Brotherhood's reach, away from the life she'd known for so long she'd nearly forgotten any other existed.
Toward what, she didn't know.
The clan. The village. People who were immortals like her but strangers nonetheless. Even Wonder was a stranger. They would need to learn to be sisters again.
"Can't sleep?"
The whisper came from below. Tony, of course.
"I'm processing," she whispered back.
"Yeah. Me too. About why you drugged me."
"Tony—"
"I'm not angry. I understand why. You thought you were going alone."
The accuracy of it made her chest tight. "We should sleep."
"Yeah." A pause. "Tula? We will figure it out, right?"
Tula didn't answer.
She'd already decided that, had already closed that door in her heart. He deserved better than what she could offer him, but he also deserved to be part of his child's future.