Chapter 26 Esag
ESAG
Esag had positioned himself in the very last row of the plane deliberately, waiting until all the ladies had chosen their seats before claiming his own. His goal had been to avoid anyone sitting next to him and then having to spend the next twenty-six hours deflecting unwanted attention.
Sarah and Liliat had made their interest abundantly clear at Safe Harbor, and while they were beautiful and intelligent women whom any male would be lucky to catch the attention of, his mind was not in the right place to entertain their advances.
The truth was that it was preoccupied by someone else. Someone who was currently sitting several rows ahead with her human partner.
To make sure that none of the ladies were tempted by the empty seat next to him, he put on the headphones that had been provided and closed his eyes, feigning sleep.
When over an hour had passed without anyone bothering him, Esag dared to open his eyes and check what everyone else was doing. He saw Tony get up, pour himself a drink, and then return to his seat.
Given that the guy was a little unsteady on his feet, it hadn't been his first trip to the bar. Then again, it could have been the fault of the slight turbulence they were encountering.
Except, Tony repeated the pilgrimage to the bar a few more times, and each time he returned to his seat, his movements grew even less coordinated, his face more flushed.
Esag wondered what that was about.
Did the guy have a drinking problem? Or was Tula tearing into him for whatever reason?
Esag was tempted to get a drink as well, but he pulled a bottle of water from the side compartment instead, mainly because he preferred not to pass by the front and make anyone aware that he was awake. Sipping on his water, he watched the unfolding drama in the front section of the cabin.
Not that there was much to see or hear.
Despite the copious amounts of alcohol Tony had consumed, he didn't raise his voice, and neither did Tula. They were keeping whatever was going on between them from reaching unintended ears.
When another half an hour passed and Tula stood and made her way down the aisle, Esag quickly closed his eyes again, assuming she was heading to the bathroom at the rear of the plane. But instead of continuing past him, she stopped.
"Do you have a moment?" she asked quietly.
His eyes flew open to find her standing there, looking beautiful and sexy in a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a pair of flat-soled shoes.
"I have nothing but time," he replied. “Please, take a seat.”
He gestured to the window seat beside him, which required her to brush past him to reach it.
Or had it? The private jet was spacious, and she could have avoided contact easily.
That she didn't feel the need to be careful sent a totally inappropriate thrill through him, which he tried very hard to suppress.
"We need to talk," she said. "About you invading my dreams."
He sighed inwardly. It was always on the offensive with her. Always ready for a fight.
"Who said I invaded your dreams?" Esag kept his voice level, refusing to let her put him on the defensive. "Maybe you invaded mine?"
She let out a breath, and some of the tension left her shoulders.
"I just needed to know that it wasn't one-sided.
I don't understand why it happened or how.
I didn't even think of you the first time you appeared in my dream.
I fell asleep and suddenly I was just there, standing in some tiny room where you were sitting on a stool and carving something. "
Esag's heart began to race. It was exactly as it had happened for him—the sudden, inexplicable connection that had pulled them together across space and perhaps even time.
"I was carving Wonder's figurine," he said. "I mean Gulan's. Anandur asked me to make one because Annani held on to the one that Kalugal found years ago in the market."
Tula opened her mouth, probably to ask about that find and the story behind it, but Esag lifted his hand. "That's a tale for another day. Anyway, no matter what I tried, Wonder's face wouldn't come out right. It was almost her, but not. Then I finally realized I was carving you."
She frowned, staring at him for a long moment with those smart blue eyes of hers, searching his face. "How did you even know what I looked like? I was twelve the last time you saw me, and you barely paid any attention to me. I was just Gulan's annoying little sister who made faces at you."
He chuckled. "I remember that. You hated me with a passion, and I thought that you were jealous of me because I stole your sister's attention away from you."
"Right." She grimaced. "That was so very typical of you to assign the same selfish motives that guided your life to everyone around you.
I hated you because I saw through your mask.
You were all smiles and oozing charm, but you were always looking after your own interests and no one else's.
I knew you were never going to leave your abhorrent but rich fiancée for my sweet but poor sister. "
Her words were like daggers to his heart because they were true. "That was a very long time ago when I was young and stupid. Do you want to hear the rest of the story about what happened with the figurine or not?"
She grimaced but waved her hand in a gesture that indicated she wanted him to continue.
"I started three different figurines, and each time I tried to capture Wonder's features, your face emerged instead.
I thought I was losing my mind. Then I was hit by a vision of you, obviously pregnant and looking desperate.
" He let his gaze drop briefly to her rounded belly.
"You were looking directly at me as if you could see me.
Your eyes were trying to communicate something, but you didn't say anything.
I interpreted that as you asking for my help. "
Tula's hand moved to her stomach. "I didn't reach out to anyone, and certainly not to you. I hadn't even been thinking about you. I mean, I did think about you a little when Wonder told me you had been found, but that was months ago. I don't understand it."
"I don't think these visions were conscious on either of our parts.
" Esag tried to organize his thoughts and explain something he barely understood himself.
"At least not at first. That initial connection when I was carving and you appeared in my vision happened without either of us intending it.
I think it was the Fates' doing, but don't ask me why. "
"For me, it wasn't a vision," she said. "I dreamt about standing in your tiny workshop and wondering why I was there.
I thought that you needed my help, that you were haunting my dreams because you were seeking my forgiveness.
I couldn't chase your sorry image out of my head, so the next day I took a nap in the hopes of seeing you again in my dream so I could tell you to stop bothering me. "
"And you did." He smiled. "You blamed me for hurting Gulan and told me you hated me for leading her on when I was engaged to Ashegan."
Her eyes were wide with wonder. "That's precisely what I dreamt. You saw it in a vision?"
He nodded.
"I saw more details this time," she said softly. "You had hundreds of carved figures arranged in groups on shelves. I could even smell the wood shavings and linseed oil."
"That's incredible."
Tula nodded. "You looked straight at me and said hello as if I was actually there. I asked you why you were haunting my dreams and told you that if it was to seek my forgiveness, you could stop because I would never forgive you."
"And I said I didn't know that I was supposed to seek your forgiveness."
"You said something about making amends for disappointing people."
He nodded. "I did, and you accused me of being selfish. We talked about Ashegan, and I told you that I was about to tell my father that I was breaking off the engagement the same night Gulan ran away."
"I didn't believe you, but I was touched by you carving the people you lost, and the love and sorrow you poured into your work. That almost made me forgive you. Then you said that I remind you of your sisters and all you have lost because of Mortdh."
"You started crying," he said in a near whisper. "You said that we were not the same and that I didn't understand you."
Tula's eyes misted with tears. "You couldn't understand my fear. Have you ever fathered a child?"
"Not that I know of. I hope not. I would hate to think that a child of mine grew up somewhere in the world without me knowing about it. Without me helping in some way, at least financially."
She looked at him for a long moment. "Then perhaps you understand a little of what I've been going through.
I couldn't tolerate the thought that my child would be taken away from me to be raised in the Dormants' enclosure as Navuh's son and turned into a soldier in his army.
I was willing to do anything to avoid that future, including ending my life and the life growing inside of me.
I prayed to the Fates to forgive me and let us both be reborn as free people next time. "
"I get it," he said. "I guess I would have felt the same."
She tilted her head. "Would you, really? I don't see you as the type who would end his own life to prevent the suffering of another."
And…she was back. The combative Tula, who turned every moment of connection into another fight. Perhaps she was afraid of connecting to anyone?
"Well, maybe I wouldn't have." He leaned back in his seat and lifted the bottle of water to his lips to wet them.
"Maybe I would have considered that the unborn child might enjoy being a soldier in Navuh's army.
Not everyone is born to be a pacifist. Some thrive on violence.
Especially men. I would have thought that maybe it wasn't up to me to decide whether my son lived or died.
That maybe I should leave it up to the Fates. "