Chapter 36 Tula
TULA
Tula woke to the strange sensation of sunlight streaming through unfamiliar windows and having the entire bed to herself.
It felt luxurious but also empty.
She lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling and trying to orient herself. This was her house. Her bedroom. Her new life.
Without Tony. Well, without Tony in her bed. He was sleeping in the other bedroom, and if she was lucky, he was making breakfast, although no appetizing scents reached her nose, which was a shame because she was hungry.
She pushed herself out of bed and padded to the bathroom, splashing water on her face and staring at her reflection. Her hair was a mess, but she looked rested after sleeping for Fates knew how long.
It felt like at least twelve hours.
Not that she'd fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. That never happened lately. Her head was too full of swirling thoughts to be able to drift off quickly. She'd gotten in bed early, but Tony's hurt expression kept popping up behind her eyelids every time she closed her eyes.
After brushing her teeth and getting dressed in one of the maternity outfits Amanda had gotten for her, a pair of black stretchy pants, and a purple long-sleeved shirt, Tula went to check on Tony.
His bedroom door was open, the bed was made, corners tucked in, and pillows arranged neatly. Not slept in. Or if it had been, he'd taken care to erase all evidence of his presence.
Dread pooled in her gut as she crossed to the closet and pulled it open.
Empty.
All the clothes Amanda had gotten for him, the jeans, the shirts, the jacket, all gone. The hangers swayed from the movement of the door.
"Tony?" she called out, even though it was clear that he'd left.
She walked into the kitchen, some part of her still hoping to find him making breakfast. Instead, she found a note on the counter, written in Tony's neat handwriting.
Tula,
I couldn't do it. I know we talked about taking things slow, about giving each other space, but I realized last night that I can't live in the same house as you while pretending we're just roommates. It would be too painful.
After you fell asleep, I went for a walk. Ended up at the café around midnight. Kaia was there buying coffee from the vending machine. We talked.
I told her about our situation. She offered to let me stay in her and William's spare bedroom until I figure things out. She assured me that William wouldn't mind and that they'd be happy to have me.
I thought about taking the spare room at Raviki and Rolenna's place instead, but I realized I needed a break from everything connected to the harem.
A fresh start that won't keep reminding me of you.
Not that it's possible since we are having a baby, and I intend to be there for him or her every step of the way, but until then, I need some breathing room to get my bearings.
I wish you the best in finding your truelove mate, and I mean that sincerely. You deserve to be happy, and so do I.
I'm always available if you need anything. Doctor's appointments, and anything that has to do with the baby, whatever you need—I intend to be a good father even if we're not together.
Take care of yourself.
- Tony
Tula read the note twice, then a third time, and felt tears streaming down her face.
She wasn't sure why she was crying. This was what she wanted, wasn't it?
For Tony to move out, to give them both space, to stop pretending they were something they weren't?
But it hurt having it happen so quickly, so definitively, without even a chance to say goodbye properly. Not that goodbyes were really necessary in a small village where she was bound to bump into Tony whether she wanted to or not.
But still, he could have told her he was leaving.
She sank onto one of the barstools, his note clutched in her hand and cried some more.
Not for Tony, exactly. Or not just for Tony. For the end of something familiar. For the closing of a chapter. For the strange grief that came with getting what she'd asked for and realizing that saying goodbye hurt no matter what.
She cried for the time they'd spent together. For the child they'd made who would grow up with separated parents. For the loss of even the illusion of a partnership.
And underneath it all, relief. Sweet, guilty relief that she was finally, truly free.
The house phone rang, cutting through her tears.
Tula stared at it, confused. She'd never had a phone before. She'd seen them in movies, knew the basic concept, but actually answering one felt foreign.
It kept ringing.
She wiped her eyes and picked up the receiver, holding it to her ear the way she'd seen people do in films. "Hello?"
"Tula?" Wonder's voice sounded sweeter than ever. "Are you okay? You sound upset."
"I'm—" Tula's voice broke. "Tony left."
"Left? What do you mean left?"
"He moved out. Last night, I guess. While I was sleeping.
" The words tumbled out between sniffles.
"He left a note. He's staying in Kaia and William's spare bedroom for now.
He couldn't—he said it was too painful to stay here.
" She sniffled. "I wanted to end things amicably with him and without making a big fuss about it, so I asked him to sleep in the other room until we eased into the separation, but he didn't want to ease into it. He wanted to end it."
Wonder was silent for a long moment. "So, you wanted him to leave?"
"Yeah, eventually. But not without saying goodbye." Tula wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I don't know why I'm crying. This is what I wanted. I told him we couldn't be together anymore. I should be relieved."
"Are you?"
"Yes. But also—" Tula struggled to articulate the tangle of emotions. "I'm sad too. Is that stupid? Can you be relieved and sad at the same time?"
"Of course you can. The end of a relationship is hard, even when it's the right thing to do. You're allowed to grieve it."
"It feels stupid to grieve something I chose to end."
"It's not stupid. It's natural." Wonder paused. "I'm coming over and taking you to get a cellphone. You need a proper entry into the modern world. I'll be there in ten minutes or less. Don't argue."
The line went dead.
Tula set the receiver back in its cradle and looked around the empty kitchen. She was hungry but had no idea how to make herself breakfast.
She had forgotten even the simple things she'd known how to prepare in her mother's kitchen, and given that it was thousands of years ago, she wouldn't even know what the ingredients looked like nowadays, or how to operate a stove.
She'd been hoping Tony would make her breakfast.
The realization made her laugh through her tears. She was an ancient immortal who'd lived for thousands of years, and she was helpless in her own kitchen.
Tula managed to make herself tea using the electric kettle. At least she knew how to do that.
By the time Wonder knocked on the door, Tula felt more composed. The tears had stopped, though her eyes were probably red and puffy. Not a big deal for an immortal. They would be fine in a minute or two.
Wonder took one look at her and pulled her into a fierce hug.
They stood in the doorway, arms wrapped around each other, and Tula felt some of the tightness in her chest ease. This was what she'd missed most during those five thousand years, the physical affection from someone who loved her without conditions or complications.
"I've got you," Wonder murmured. "You're going to be okay."
"Of course, I'm going to be okay." Tula pulled back, managing a watery smile. "I'm just being hormonal."
"You're being normal." Wonder studied her face. "Have you eaten?"
"Just tea. I've forgotten how to cook. Not that I would have known what to do in a modern kitchen."
"Then we're definitely stopping by the café before we go to William's lab." Wonder linked their arms together. "Come on. Food will help you feel better."
"I'm not sure I want to go to William's," Tula admitted as they walked toward the door. "Tony's staying with him and Kaia. They probably think I'm a terrible person for ending things with him. He might have even told them a sob story about me kicking him out."
"That's nonsense." Wonder squeezed her arm. "They're not going to judge you for making choices about your life after you've lived for so long without the ability to make them."
"But—"
"No buts. You need a phone, and William is the one who assigns them to clan members; therefore, we're going to see him. End of discussion."
Tula let herself be pulled along, grateful for Wonder's decisiveness even though she was surprised by it. Wonder was definitely not Gulan.
But right now, making decisions felt beyond her capacity, and she was perfectly okay with her sister taking over.
The village looked different in the morning light. Prettier, somehow. Less intimidating. People were out walking, jogging, some looking like they were dressed for work, others for exercise.
Several of them waved or smiled at Tula as she passed, and she tried to return the gestures, but it felt awkward.
The café was an open-air setup—just a service kiosk and vending machines in the back, and plentiful seating in the front.
Two women were working behind the counter. One was tall and striking with an unusual quality to her features that Tula recognized were Kra-ell. The other was short and plump with an easy smile and kind eyes.
"This is my sister, Tula." Wonder introduced her. "Tula, this is Wendy and Aliya. They work with me at the café."
"Hi," Tula said. "It's nice to meet you."
"Your sister!" Wendy's eyes went wide. "Oh my God, the one from—from the rescue mission? That's amazing. Welcome to the village!"
Aliya's smile was more reserved but no less warm. "Welcome. May you find happiness here. I certainly did."
"Thank you." Tula felt overwhelmed by their friendliness, by how readily they accepted her.
Wonder ordered coffee, sandwiches, and pastries for them. It was far more food than Tula thought she could eat, but Wonder waved away her protests.
"You're eating for two. And you've had a rough morning. Eat as much as you want, and we'll save the rest for later."
They chose a table in the shade even though it was so nice outside that Tula wouldn't have minded sitting in the sun.
She bit into her sandwich and nearly moaned. It was delicious—fresh bread, some kind of meat she didn't recognize, pickled vegetables, and a tangy sauce. She devoured it and reached for another before realizing that she was being rude.
"Sorry," she said, embarrassed. "I was hungrier than I thought."
"Don't apologize." Wonder pushed the sandwich toward her. "There is more where this came from."
After Tula was done with the second sandwich, she took a few sips of the coffee and leaned back.
"Feeling better?" Wonder asked.
Tula nodded. "I still feel guilty, sad, and a little confused about feeling guilty and sad, but I'm also relieved."
"Of course." Wonder sipped her coffee. "Those are all legitimate. What are you going to do now? Are you going to move in with Raviki and Rolenna? Perhaps they can cook?"
"I doubt that." Tula hadn't thought that far ahead. "And I don't want to move. I like the house."
"By yourself? Won't that be lonely?"
"Maybe." Tula hadn't considered that. The house that had felt suffocating yesterday suddenly seemed very empty.
"You could move in with Anandur and me," Wonder offered. "We have a spare bedroom. You'd have company, and Anandur and I both cook."
Tula shook her head. "I love you, but I can't live with you and Anandur. That would be too awkward, and besides—"
She broke off as a flash of red caught her eye.
Esag had just walked into the café.
Their eyes met across the space, and Tula's heart did a silly flip.
He looked tired, like he hadn't slept well, and his blue-green eyes were shadowed, his red mop of hair disheveled.
He looked beautiful.
Tula hated that she noticed.
Wonder followed her gaze and smiled. "Esag! Over here!" She waved. "Come join us."
Tula wanted to kick her sister under the table.
Esag approached, his hands in his pockets. "Good morning."
Wonder gestured to an empty chair. "Sit. I'll get you coffee and food. What do you want?"
"A tuna sandwich, but I can get it myself—"
"Nonsense. Sit." Wonder was already heading to the counter, leaving Tula alone with him.
An awkward silence stretched between them.
"How are you settling in?" Esag asked. "The house okay?"
"It's fine." Tula picked at her pastry, not looking at him. "It's actually lovely."
"Good. That's good."
More silence.
"Where's Tony?" Esag asked, and Tula felt something in her chest clench.
"He left."
Esag's head snapped up. "What do you mean he left? Where to?"
"He moved out. Last night." Tula forced herself to meet his eyes. "He's staying with Kaia and William. He said it was too painful to live with me after I ended things between us."
"You ended things,” Esag said, as if it were a statement, not a question.
"Yesterday." Tula twisted her napkin between her fingers.
"Here you go," Wonder said cheerfully as she put a cardboard tray with a cup of coffee and a sandwich down in front of Esag. "Eat up. Tula and I need to get going soon. I made an appointment with William to get Tula a phone. We need to bring her up to speed on modern living."