Chapter 7 #3
“I don’t understand my reactions to you,” she admitted honestly.
Maybe that wasn’t the brightest idea, but she felt compelled to tell him the truth.
“Clearly, you’re Carpathian. I had never heard of your species until Luiz and I met.
It was our first time meeting. My first time being here in this rainforest. My first time encountering other jaguar shifters.
None of it has been good. The things Luiz could do so casually were frightening. ”
Once again, her hand crept up to cover her neck, and his gaze locked in on her trembling fingers. She was giving herself away, not only blurting out truths like an idiot but reinforcing them with silent gestures.
Tomas nodded, his eyebrows drawing together in a slight frown.
Expressions, she decided, were important.
He’d had such a mask earlier, and that contributed to her rising fear of him.
Most likely because Luiz wore a similar mask and both men were intense.
She’d rather read what they were thinking than guess at it.
Now that no one was around, Tomas seemed to be more relaxed and willing to show her what he was thinking or feeling—at least a little bit.
“Do you mind me asking you what your cousin did that has you so afraid of Carpathians?”
If she said the word blood, would that be some kind of trigger for him? Why was he looking at her as if he knew her? As if he knew everything about her? Was he reading her mind? He hadn’t taken her blood, and from what Luiz said, that was a prerequisite for that ability, wasn’t it?
“He took my blood after I absolutely told him I didn’t want him to. And he did it without my knowledge. Well, I suspected and asked him. He was truthful, but he still went against my wishes, and he didn’t feel in the least remorseful.”
Tomas nodded, his eyes going soft. Gentle. “And then I made certain you didn’t see me kill Rud. That must feel like a takeover. I had to make a split-second decision, and I wanted to spare you any real fear. I can see I only added to your concerns over our species.”
Tomas crossed the short distance between them. At once she was aware of the difference in their heights. Up close, she felt his power even more. He wasn’t touching her, but he was close enough to feel his body heat. He indicated the forest.
“We need to get moving. It is always possible Rud’s enforcers will attempt to retaliate. I would prefer that you were out of harm’s way.”
“He has enforcers?” Her voice came out as a squeak. The idea that those male shifters might be anywhere near her galvanized her into action. She began to walk toward one of the largest trees with low branches.
“Sarika.” He said her name in that low, gentle way he had. “No shifter will touch you. Luiz would come at my call—or yours—as would my brothers if I thought I couldn’t handle them myself. There’s no need to panic.”
She despised that she looked like such a coward to him. She’d never been one to retreat in the face of an enemy, but she was so out of her depth. She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. She knew she looked weak, and it embarrassed her.
“Is there a way to contact the boats so I can arrange to go home?” She didn’t know where home was anymore. She’d hoped it would be here in the rainforest, where she’d been born. Where her family had died. Where there was Luiz.
She crouched low and leapt to the overhanging branch.
She didn’t want to give him any ideas, like Luiz, of turning into a bird and carrying her back to the tree house.
She was decisive about her leap. He made no sound when he leapt behind her.
She didn’t feel his weight on the branch, but she knew he was there.
She felt his body heat. More, she had that shivery feeling inside that she was so unfamiliar with but only he could produce.
“The moment I heard your name, I knew who you were. So did my brothers. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want anyone else to know our connection.”
She stopped moving and turned to face him. He sounded as if he was being honest, but she would have remembered him. No one would forget meeting Tomas or his brothers.
“How?”
He smiled down at her, that same brief, genuine smile that curled her toes and sent heat rushing through her veins.
“I am T. Smolnycki Jr. You wrote to me for many years.”
Her breath caught in her throat. T. Smolnycki felt like an old friend. T had to be for Tomas.
“We do not allow photographs, and we do not keep letters, anything that might betray our species, but I have every one of your letters.”
As confessions went, it was profound. There was no way to misinterpret what he was telling her.
Their connection meant as much to him as it did to her.
That was both wonderful and even more frightening.
She was so susceptible to him. It also explained the scary, intense focus all three brothers had turned on her when she’d given her name.
That made her feel a little better. They’d been so completely focused on her in the middle of a dicey situation it had amplified her fears.
She didn’t like a lot of attention. She’d learned, traveling as much as she did to other countries, to stay in the background as much as possible.
That didn’t mean she didn’t give her opinion, and she always stood up for herself, but she was careful.
The less she was noticed in some circumstances, the safer she was.
“I never thought I’d have the chance to meet you,” she confessed.
“You and your ideas on conservation have had such an impact on my life.” She hero-worshiped him, although she wasn’t going to tell him that.
Now that she’d met him in person and realized she was physically attracted to him, something that just didn’t happen, she was even more confused and embarrassed.
She didn’t want him ever reading her mind.
She turned back in the direction of Luiz’s tree house, thinking it was safer than spending too much time with him. Just knowing who he was, remembering every word of every letter exchanged over the years, only added to the deep attraction she had toward him.
“I’d like to ask a favor.” Now she didn’t know what to call him. He’d first introduced himself as Tomas, and everyone had referred to him as Tomas. “I don’t know if you’re capable of reading my thoughts…” It was a question.
“I am.”
She closed her eyes briefly, but she was walking fast along a tree branch, and that wasn’t such a good idea. “You don’t have to take my blood to read them?”
“No.”
“And your brothers and Luiz can read my thoughts as well?”
“Yes.”
“Without taking my blood,” she clarified.
“In close proximity it is easy enough to pick up thoughts. I believe you are capable as well. If we wish to communicate from a distance or check on a specific person, we would have to take their blood.” He spoke matter-of-factly, as if it were normal.
“I can’t read thoughts,” she denied.
“Then you’re very adept at reading body language. Your timing was perfect each time you intervened with Rud when you were stalling, waiting for the sun to set.”
“You heard us, even when you were in the ground.” She kept moving from branch to branch, picking up the pace just a little in order to get back to the tree house. She didn’t know why, but she felt she would be safer.
“It just so happened that Rud made his play above our resting places. Bad luck on his part.”
Was there a slight trace of amusement in his voice?
Or like Luiz, was it in his mind? The moment the question came to her, her breath caught in her throat.
Was she catching glimpses of other people’s thoughts?
That would be invasive. Intrusive. Horrible.
She wasn’t the kind of woman who invaded other people’s privacy, yet it was possible she was catching glimpses of their emotions.
“Do you feel?”
“Feel,” he echoed.
This time, he sounded wary. So much so that she stopped and turned to face him, wanting to see his expression, but he wasn’t wearing one. His handsome face was an inscrutable mask. Her heart skipped a beat.
His gaze was hot as it swept over her. More than hot. Hunger was there. A fierce, possessive element crept into his gaze. “Yes.” His answer was curt. “Emotions are new after centuries of not being able to feel, so I’m still struggling to get used to them. At times, they feel overwhelming.”
She wasn’t certain what to do with that admission.
The worst was Luiz had told her only a lifemate could restore emotion to a Carpathian hunter.
That meant Tomas Smolnycki Jr. had a lifemate, and if the indications were anything to go by, he lusted after her.
Men cheated. She was disappointed that her hero was a man who would cheat on a woman who had guarded his soul and restored his emotions.
She knew jaguar shifters weren’t faithful. Apparently, neither were Carpathians.
She turned away from him, feeling inexplicably sad.
He’d been her hero, her mentor, the one person she’d stupidly poured her heart out to.
She’d told him everything about her life—other than the fact that she was a shifter.
She’d told him her hopes and dreams. She’d shared her ideas on conservation with this man.
True, her first letters had been childish, but as she’d grown up, throughout her college years, and with each internship in the various rainforests she’d traveled, she’d written to him to get advice.
After, when she’d returned home, she wrote to him detailing every aspect of her trip, the others who had traveled on the journey with her, what she had learned from them and what her takeaway was.
He had always been encouraging. It often took months before he’d reply, but he always did.
Not only did Sarika feel sadness; she felt betrayed.
The entire exchange added to her feelings of loss.
Of the need to run. She wanted to retreat somewhere safe, to some hole she could crawl into, where she could lick her wounds in peace without the worry she might be giving too much away to anyone.
“You don’t want me to read your thoughts, sivamet, but you’re giving off an alarming emotion, one I am having trouble dealing with.
If you don’t confide in me what’s wrong, you will leave me no choice but to do the very thing you don’t want me to do.
I see no reason for your distress, yet it is overwhelming. ”
“Thoughts should be private,” she said without turning.
She picked up her speed. They were much closer to the tree house and, hopefully, a place for her to hide, just for a short while.
She needed respite from the terrible mantle of sorrow that pressed down on her.
She had lost everything. Her hopes. Her dreams. Her cousin.
This place was a labyrinth of deceit and danger.
She didn’t understand it, and she didn’t want to be a part of it.
“That is the way of human beings and shifters, not Carpathians,” he pointed out gently.
He was close. So close. She was running lightly on the branches of trees, and suddenly his warm breath was on her neck, just below her ear. His tone was low and intimate, causing that rush of heat through her veins she couldn’t control.
“I should point out, I’m not Carpathian,” she said, pouring snippiness into her voice. Not just snippy attitude but as haughty as she could make it. Irritated. Annoyed. She made it as clear as she could by body language that he was to back off and quit breathing on her.
“Perhaps you need to understand more about our species,” he murmured in that velvet tone, the one that stroked over her skin and gave her goose bumps and—if she was being honest—all kinds of erotic ideas she’d never once in her life considered.
If Carpathians had playboys in their species, and clearly, they did, Tomas had to take the prize.
He was very skilled at seduction. Thankfully, the tree house loomed ahead.
Ignoring the man following so close, she leapt for the series of fungi that were actually steps leading up to the wraparound porch.
Luiz leaned over the railing, watching her, studying her expression and body language. He straightened slowly, his gaze resting on Tomas. He wore that mask of his, but there was something very unpleasant in his eyes.
That gave her pause, mostly because that blatant warning didn’t seem to faze Tomas in the least. When she cleared the railing, he was right behind her. She stopped abruptly, not wanting her cousin and Tomas to square off, which they clearly were about to do.