Chapter 12 #3
She had started this. Now she was uncertain what to say or do.
She didn’t want the ancients to fight. She looked Dominic directly in the eye.
“I don’t want you and Tomas to be at odds over something I can’t help and am uncertain of.
I want to help Solange, but I’m not even certain I know how.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything and let nature take its course, but the feeling is so strong, I couldn’t help it.
I had to tell Tomas, and he thought it best to tell you.
But really, if you are more comfortable with us leaving, I’ll do so without continuing this conversation. ”
“How do you think you can help me?” Solange asked, curiosity more than anything else in her tone. “What do you think I need help with?”
“I have nightmares, Solange, terrible, horrific nightmares of human sacrifices, boys and girls, men and women. The nightmares have increased over the last few years, and sometimes I hear chanting.” She reached for Tomas’ hand, needing comfort, uncaring that it would put him in a position of having even less of an advantage with Dominic.
“I’ve come to believe these nightmares depict real events that happened centuries ago.
I was there. I don’t know how, but I was there. ”
Solange didn’t make fun of her. She simply nodded. “I have heard of such things.”
“I’ve traveled to most of the rainforests in the world, and I’ve never had increased anxiety or felt the differences in me until I came here.
I seem to be able to read emotions that ancient Carpathian males have but they don’t feel.
I can catch vignettes of their lives, even though they have shields up in their minds. ”
Dominic shifted in his chair, and Sarika’s heart went crazy, pounding in fear. She didn’t understand any of these people, and she certainly didn’t understand herself or what was happening to her.
“Sarika,” Dominic said, his voice gentle.
“You have nothing to fear from me. It is clear to both Solange and me that you are struggling to understand what is happening to you. It is also very clear that it is difficult to disclose this information to complete strangers. Please don’t fear me or Solange.
We will take what you say into consideration, and we will not share it. ”
Sarika sighed. “This is going to sound even crazier. I did my best not to intrude, Solange. I don’t want Tomas to get inside my head without my permission, so I feel extremely hesitant about taking away anyone’s privacy.
It’s just that this thing inside me feels what others are feeling.
When it comes to jaguar female shifters, it is really heightened. ”
Again, Solange didn’t appear in the least concerned. “That’s why you stepped in to help me. Thank you for that. You were amazing.”
“I’m not quite finished, and you won’t think I’m so amazing.
” She rubbed at her temples. Her head was beginning to hurt.
That headache that came when her mind insisted on opening that door she never wanted to look behind.
“It’s your jaguar. She’s fighting you on the baby.
She’s making it hard not only on you but on the baby. A female, by the way.”
Dominic sat up straighter. He and Solange exchanged a long look. They knew the sex of the baby. They hadn’t told anyone, so both wondered how she could know.
“I’ve been fully converted to Carpathian,” Solange informed her. “I shift into my jaguar because I’m familiar with her, but I am fully Carpathian.”
Sarika shook her head. “You’re not. She’s in you, and she doesn’t know how to be what you’ve become. She has a tendency to fight you when you choose to be feminine and not strictly a warrior.”
Dominic’s eyes grew a metallic green, giving off a dragon feel for the first time. “I would know. She would know. We’ve been together a long time.”
Sarika wanted to concede she was wrong. She didn’t want to continue the conversation. She could be wrong. Maybe she had a vivid imagination. Whatever it was, she didn’t want to continue. She had a very bad feeling it was all going to go wrong.
“You would know better than me,” she conceded, and once more threaded her fingers through Tomas’.
Dominic studied her face for a long time. Too long. She had the feeling he saw far too much, things she didn’t want him to see. Uneasiness grew into fear.
“There is a way to settle this,” Dominic ventured.
“If you would consent, I could examine your memories. I would see what you did in regard to Solange and her jaguar. I would be able to see into your nightmare and tell you what is real and what isn’t.
I have lived long and experienced many things. I would know the difference.”
Sarika thought she was prepared for Dominic to do just that—examine her memories.
Tomas had tried to prepare her for the possibility, and it made sense.
The moment Dominic so casually stated what he could do to see what she had, full-blown panic rose.
It was a visceral reaction, sharp and raw.
She nearly jumped out of the chair. She knew the color drained out of her face.
She could barely breathe as she shook her head.
“He was there. The Carpathian. He took their blood. He forced them to do horrible things to each other. He sacrificed so many, practically killing everyone while he howled with laughter. He proclaimed he had a lifemate. He used that term. There was blood, so much blood, everywhere. He was hunting for a soul, he said. He knew someone had it, and unless they gave it up, he would kill everyone.”
She turned grief-stricken eyes on Tomas. “His name was Mitro. He spoke the truth about having a lifemate. It didn’t stop him from doing the terrible things he did. He thrust his mind into mine. I could see how rotten he was. I could feel his glee in the brutal killings. He had no mercy in him.”
Now she was up out of the chair and backing away from Tomas. “I was there. I saw him. I felt him. He tried to find my jaguar power, but I was able to hide it from him.”
Tomas came to his feet as well, following her across the room. “You aren’t there, Sarika. You’re here with me, and you’re safe. Solange is true jaguar royalty. She would never allow anyone to betray you.”
He spoke in his gentle, nonthreatening voice. She heard it, but the sounds and smells of the past were assaulting every one of her senses.
“I remember Mitro,” Dominic said, his voice equally as gentle.
“Dax and Mitro’s lifemate, Arabejila, chased him for centuries and finally were able to lock him in a volcano.
Dax was locked in that same volcano with him.
When they broke free, Mitro went after Riley, Dax’s lifemate.
Dax was able to defeat him. Mitro is no longer alive. ”
Sarika pressed her hand to her mouth. She was trembling so badly, she could barely stand. “I want to go home. Back to the United States. I kept the family home in the forest. I can live there.”
Solange pushed out of the chair and approached Sarika slowly, waving off the two men.
“I’m sorry you had to endure the brutality of a crazed Carpathian.
He never claimed his lifemate. Instead, he tried to kill her.
Carpathians, like any species, are not immune to mental health issues.
It’s just that when one goes wrong and they have all that power, it can be horrendous.
That’s why ancients like Tomas and Dominic and Luiz spend centuries hunting those who have turned or the ones like Mitro. ”
She glided closer. “I know you’re frightened, Sarika.
Your only knowledge of Carpathians is not good, but you have looked into the minds of Lojos, Mataias and Tomas, and you know they are good men.
The same with your cousin. And I need you.
I’m scared, far more than I should be. Dominic and I discussed why I was so stressed.
We’re good together. I trust him implicitly, but you’re right, I’m making myself so sick.
If you have a way to make me understand why, if you could help me in any way, I would be forever grateful.
I never forget a favor, and if you really think there is a chance I could lose this baby, I would be in your debt if you would help us. ”
Sarika allowed Solange’s words to sink into her mind, to push back the memories threatening to overwhelm her.
Just the revelation that Mitro had been real, that Dominic knew him, was terrifying.
That meant she had been guarding Tomas’ soul, and Mitro murdered an entire village of peaceful people to find it.
She had protected him. She’d tried to protect those in the village, find ways for them to escape.
She had blocked his access to the routes she’d provided for the few she could get into the tunnels to escape.
She’d done multiple things to thwart him, and he hadn’t known it was her.
He suspected. It was why he hadn’t killed her, but he didn’t realize she was countering his viciousness with her own feminine power.
She couldn’t leave Solange alone in her fight to save her child.
Dominic and Solange both had missed the connection to her shifter jaguar.
She was royalty. Her royal blood would never allow any species to take her over completely.
Solange had wanted to belong with Dominic so much she had convinced herself that she simply shifted into what she knew best.
“I want to help you,” she admitted. She blinked rapidly, trying to bring herself completely into the present. “I do, I just…” She trailed off because she didn’t know exactly what she was going to say. She looked around helplessly for Tomas.
He was at her side instantly. “I’m with you, sivamet. Tell us what you need. If you want to help Solange, we can find a way. If you want to leave, we’ll do that.”
She couldn’t just leave Solange, not when neither she nor Dominic believed the baby was in danger. She had to convince them.
“I’m sorry I panicked. I must seem like a crazy person to you,” she told Solange.
“I felt like I had been thrown back centuries.” She squared her shoulders.
“I need you to believe me when I say your jaguar is causing you far too much anxiety. She doesn’t know how to be feminine.
Or soft. She really doesn’t know how to have a child.
It isn’t that she is causing a problem on purpose; she just doesn’t know how to fit into your life.
She’s all warrior, not the lifemate of a Carpathian male. ”
Solange turned toward Dominic and held out her hand. “What do you suggest we do, Sarika? How can Dominic and I see and feel what you have?”
Sarika scrubbed her hand down her face as if she could lower a mask to cover her terrified expression.
“I don’t know. Tomas suggested that I give consent to him and Dominic to look into my memories to see what I saw and felt from your jaguar.
” She answered tentatively, unsure she could follow through.
“I just don’t know if I can let them. I despise being a coward, but anytime I think about a Carpathian entering my mind, I panic. ”
Why are you feeling threatened? Luiz’s voice pushed into Sarika’s mind. It was echoed by Lojos and Mataias. Tomas, the safeguards are up on Dominic’s home. We cannot get in to aid Sarika. We will have to use our blood bond to see through her eyes to come to your aid.
Sarika realized she had been broadcasting her fear rather than containing it.
Her champions had taken that as a call to arms. Her champions.
She had to think of them that way. They were Carpathian, and they would come for her.
Fight for her. Just as she knew Tomas would.
Her lifemate might be standing beside her, looking relaxed, giving off friendly vibes to Dominic, but he was in full protection mode.
He wouldn’t hesitate to take on Dominic and Solange in their home if he thought she was in trouble.
I’m sorry. Thank you for your concern, but I have just been confronting nightmares that seem all too real. Tomas is here with me. Dominic and Solange are being lovely over my panic attack.
The three men obviously consulted with Tomas, and then they faded from her mind.
In front of her, Solange nodded her acknowledgment of Sarika’s fears.
“I understand how you would feel that way. I did, too, for different reasons. All I can say to you is that we want this child. I never believed I could have one. To us, she is a miracle baby. If something is wrong, I would ask that you help us fix it.”
Tomas, I can’t allow a child to die because I fear someone looking into my memories.
She felt desperate and turned to the only person she had any real trust in.
She based that trust on all the letters she’d read of his over the years.
No matter where he’d been in the world, no matter what he was doing when he’d disappeared for months—and now she knew he hunted vampires—he always answered her. Always made her a priority.
I will be with Dominic. I have ways of shielding you so only the things that need to be seen can be seen. Trust me to do this for you. You can show Solange and Dominic her jaguar so they can deal with her.
Sarika didn’t think Solange and Dominic could deal with the jaguar. She had a nagging feeling she would have to. She knew they were waiting. Patiently. Calmly. All on the outside. Inside, she could hear Solange weeping and Dominic comforting her.
“I will, of course, give my consent to Dominic accompanying Tomas to look at my memories and see if he draws the same conclusion.” She forced a smile at Solange. “I think we need to stick together when it comes to our jaguar sides.”
Gripping Tomas’ hand, she faced Dominic. “Tell me what you need me to do.”