Chapter 20
Chapter
“It’s my fault.” Sarika couldn’t stop sobbing.
She became aware of Tomas holding her in his lap. Somehow, he’d gotten her back to the safety of Luiz’s tree house, but her reality continued to flicker between the past and present.
“If I hadn’t been such a coward and had just accessed my memories instead of hiding from them, we would have the first piece of the weapon they plan to use to destroy your people. Now your enemies have it.”
Tomas rocked her gently, his arms providing a fortress, but even he couldn’t stop the flood of tears and condemnation she heaped on herself. He let her cry for a long while, and then he caught her hair and tipped her head back.
“Enough, sivamet. There is only so much of this I can take. You know you aren’t responsible for any of this.
You take on too much. You began having nightmares as a child and believed those memories to be just that.
In your human world, most don’t believe there are past lives.
And for many people there are not. There was a significant reason for you to be born over and over.
If you must place blame, put it squarely on my shoulders. ”
She blinked at him, her long lashes wet and sticky. “Why would you even say that?” She hiccupped as she tried to stop the sobs choking her.
“I didn’t find you. I looked, but I couldn’t find you. And I opted to remain alive.” His answer was simple—and truthful. She had to be born, live her lifespan, die and be reborn with his soul until he was gone from earth. He hadn’t given her the chance at peace.
Sarika shook her head and pressed trembling fingers to her lips.
“This is a huge mess because I couldn’t face my past, Tomas.
I didn’t even know there was a weapon that has the potential to destroy your people until you told me.
I had no idea I was the one who stole it from Mitro until you gave me the courage to face the memories I had buried and turned into nightmares. If anyone is not to blame, it is you.”
“There was evidence of Justice being in the temple. I am very familiar with the few tracks he leaves behind. But he wasn’t alone, or someone else was in the temple before him.
Lojos and Mataias are insistent that Justice is the mastermind behind organizing an attempt to kill Prince Mikhail and Gregori.
I still think we need to reserve judgment. What do you think?”
Tomas needed her to focus on solutions. He had little time to convert her and get them both in the ground so they could follow Justice and hopefully figure out where the second piece of the weapon would be.
With all that, the most important thing to him was getting her to realize she had no blame for the weapon getting into the hands of the enemy.
He had talked it over with the others, and they hadn’t wanted to draw attention to the temple by going there.
Had they recovered the weapon, they would have had to leave the area immediately, and he couldn’t leave without converting his lifemate.
The Carpathian ancients had all agreed they would go to the temple after the women had their party.
If they were able to recover the weapon, Luiz would carry it to the Carpathian Mountains, and it would be guarded until they figured out a way to destroy it.
Blaming herself wasn’t going to help, especially since it wasn’t true that she had anything to do with the fiasco of them arriving too late.
Sarika had been pulled back in time, thrown into the abyss of the worst times in her life cycle, yet she’d done it to aid the Carpathian people.
She had to do so selflessly, letting go of her present self in order to access the past, and she’d done so knowing what she would be facing.
“I’m proud of you. Proud that you’re my lifemate. Proud of your strength and courage. The way you allow yourself to be vulnerable, that you trust me enough to show that to me.”
Tomas nuzzled her neck, sliding her hair out of the way so he could brush kisses down the side of her face, from her temple to her delicate jaw. “We can do this together. We’re good together, Sarika. Come into my world. Choose me of your own free will.”
He wanted to be her choice, when she really didn’t have one, not if he were to survive.
But still, he knew she was his choice, and he wanted her to feel as strongly about him as he did about her.
He’d claimed her in the way of his people.
He hadn’t even tried to fight the compulsion, and he knew that had upset her.
She was human and a shifter. Neither would understand his society and the strict rules they had to follow.
The code of honor that dictated their lives.
Or how a Carpathian would feel about the woman who was nothing short of a miracle to him.
Sarika turned in his lap, both hands framing his face. Her tear-drenched eyes stared directly into his. “You will always be my choice, Tomas. Always. I know it took time for me to come to terms with what you are, but I have. I’m determined, as long as Coh will be okay, to go into your world.”
He kissed her. He couldn’t stop himself. He felt her sincerity. She wasn’t saying she’d chosen him because she felt she had no other choice. His mouth wandered down to her chin, his teeth nibbling, his tongue tasting her skin. Everything about Sarika appealed to him.
I’ve checked with your jaguar multiple times after each blood exchange. Even after you exchanged blood with my brothers and Luiz. She seemed content and unafraid, he assured her.
His mouth moved over her pulse point, that temptation, beckoning to him.
A siren’s call. He sank his teeth deep, connecting them, feeling the rush of heated pleasure sweeping through his body.
Only Sarika could make every nerve ending come alive.
Her blood was his aphrodisiac, solely for him.
He craved her taste. Craved her soft skin and curves.
Her kisses. The sensation, the wonder, of physical desire was a new experience and one very profound.
It took discipline to only take the amount of blood needed for a true exchange. She moved on him continually, her soft body grinding into his as she sat on his lap.
I’m doing the clothes thing, Sarika.
It would be nice if you could hurry.
Her soft little plea sent heat rushing down his spine. He lifted her carefully, turning her to face him.
Straddle me.
He did the clothes thing while she put her legs over his. Without clothes, it was much easier for her body to slide over his, engulfing him in heat, surrounding him with tight, silken fire. She didn’t even hesitate. Her body had to work to allow him in, and twice he whispered to her to relax.
I am relaxed. You just keep getting bigger.
That made him smile. He kissed her, his mouth as gentle as he could make it when he wanted to crush her to him. Take my blood, Sarika. Come into my world all the way.
There was no hesitation. Her mouth went to the offering he had opened on his chest, and the world, for him, tilted and spun. She made the earth move. He had never really experienced the sun, but he felt that the radiant brightness she shone over him had to rival it.
Sarika made little noises, soft moans, compelling cries, that sang through his veins like a symphony of fire. His body moved in hers. Her body rose and fell over his. They shared the same skin, the same soul. For him, it was a cosmic experience. So unexpected and beautiful.
It was difficult to force himself to stop her feeding when it felt so right and enhanced their lovemaking, but stopping it was necessary. He took over, surging into her, looking into her eyes, drowning there, feeling like they were one.
Sarika gasped out her climax, clutching his shoulders, her heart beating wildly as he found his own release. She buried her face on his shoulder. “I’m very, very fond of your ability to deal with clothes, Tomas.”
He found himself laughing. “Happy to oblige.”
She grew quiet, and he held her tighter, waiting…
Twice he checked in with her jaguar. Coh was complacent.
Seemingly unaffected. When the cramps began, they seemed far milder than Tomas anticipated, so mild they could have been nonexistent.
Still, he opened his mind to his brothers and Luiz.
They would help ease her into their world.
He nuzzled the top of her head, aching. Worried.
He’d witnessed the conversion, and it was brutal as a rule.
Time passed. He rocked her gently, but she didn’t seem to be uncomfortable.
The conversion was taking far too long. He shed his body and entered hers to see for himself what was taking place.
Her organs were reshaping just as they should have been, but her blood was not being taken over by his. It was as if the blood cells bonded together to create something else. His were fully Carpathian, and hers appeared to still be jaguar, but their cells clung to one another.
Tomas shared his findings with his brothers and Luiz. Luiz reached out to Dominic for reassurance. It appeared that the same thing had happened when Dominic converted Solange. She was Carpathian, but still jaguar.
Tomas checked on Coh. The jaguar seemed bored with the entire business, although, he realized, she was watchful over Sarika.
Are you hurting? he asked Sarika.
She shook her head. I’m just very, very tired.
I will allow you to sleep in just a little while. I want to ensure you are completely converted with no repercussions before we go to ground.
It only took another half hour. Sarika dozed in his arms as he took her beneath the tree house, where he opened the earth and floated her down into the soil’s welcoming arms.
His brothers and Luiz met him on the tree house verandah. He explained in detail what happened with Sarika’s blood. “She seems fully Carpathian and yet at the same time is fully jaguar.”
“And you? What has her blood done to you?” Mataias asked.
“That’s a good question,” Tomas conceded. “Time will give us that answer.”
“We have to follow Justice,” Lojos said. “We can’t allow him to get to the second piece of the weapon. I have a couple of ideas about how to track him.”
“Go on ahead. I will wake Sarika in three risings, and we will catch up to you,” he told his brothers. “We can go much faster than you because we won’t be looking for signs of his passing. Keep me informed on where you are at all times.”
“I will stay here,” Luiz added. “When Tomas and Sarika rise, I will accompany them to you.”
Tomas wasn’t surprised. Luiz took his role as Sarika’s family very seriously. They were chasing after who every hunter considered to be the most powerful Carpathian alive. If they caught up to him and a battle ensued, no single hunter would defeat him.
“Are you certain, Luiz? You have much to lose,” Tomas pointed out.
“I have my duty to our people,” Luiz said. “And to Sarika. I go with you.”
Tomas gripped his brothers’ forearms, first Mataias and then Lojos. “Safe journey,” he murmured.
“Keep our girl safe,” his brothers said simultaneously.
Tomas watched his brothers leave. They had spent centuries together, looking after one another, and it felt wrong to stay behind.
“You’ll catch up soon enough,” Luiz said. “I’ll guard your sleeping chamber, and when you rise, we will be able to cover the distance in a rising. Maybe two at most.”
Tomas nodded. “Thank you, Luiz.”
He hurried back to Sarika. She was sleeping, but not as peacefully as he would have liked. Floating down into deep earth, he checked her and her jaguar again. Both seemed to be healthy. Sarika wasn’t as far under his compulsion as he thought she should be.
Stop fighting sleep, sivamet. It is the healing sleep of our people.
To his shock, she answered him. I was waiting for you to return to me. If I’m sleeping in the ground, I want you right next to me. There was the slightest edge of humor to her voice. Humor and trepidation. His woman wasn’t quite as sure of this particular custom as she wanted him to think.
Tomas wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his body. I love you, Sarika. Sleep now. In a few nights, we’ll rise and join our brothers.
Sarika cuddled close to him. I love you, too.