Chapter 20 The Weight of Going Back #2
Jason was the first to look up. His eyes widened, then his whole face lit up. “No way.” He stood so fast his chair rolled into a filing cabinet. “Daddy Campbell’s back!” Then he grimaced and shook his head. “Damn! And I was just about to ask Norm to put me in that big, fat, empty office!”
Heads turned. Phones were set down. Someone actually gasped—probably Sheila, though she’d deny it later. A moment of stunned stillness swept through the room, and then—
Applause. Not raucous, not overdone. Just real. A few people stood. Adylinn was already crossing the room with her arms outstretched.
Colin blinked, throat tightening. “OK, wow. Don’t make me cry in front of Jason.”
“That’s fair,” Jason called. “Because I’d never let you live it down.”
Adylinn reached Colin and wrapped him in a warm, familiar hug. “You look tired,” she whispered. “And gorgeous.”
Colin swallowed hard. “I’ll take it.”
She stepped back, eyes glistening, and said, “We kept your chair warm.”
“Not me!” Jason spouted. “I sat in it. Ate lunch in it. Left crumbs.”
“You’re dead to me,” Colin replied dryly, and the bullpen erupted in laughter. “And stay the hell out of my office, pip-squeak!”
Even Sheila cracked a smile. “About time you came back, hotshot. The energy’s been weird in here without your broody nonsense.”
Colin smirked. “Broody nonsense is my specialty.” He glanced around the room—the messy desks, the scuffed carpet, the leaning stacks of case files.
People who worked too hard and cared too much.
His people. And for the first time in what felt like forever, something inside him shifted—not all the way to peace, but in that direction.
Adylinn nudged him. “We’ve been covering for you, but it’s getting out of hand. I actually had to do paperwork last week.”
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“You will,” she said. “By taking those two dog bite misdemeanors off my docket. I already put your name on them.”
Jason grinned. “Glad you’re home, boss man.”
Colin exhaled and looked around again—this loud, chaotic, relentless place—and nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Me too.”
The house was dim and calm, lit only by the warm flicker of a single lamp in the living room. Joshua sprawled on the new couch, legs crossed on the coffee table, a blanket over his lap, and a book resting facedown beside him. He looked up the second Colin walked in.
“Well?” he asked, the word carrying more hope than curiosity.
Colin toed off his shoes, loosened his tie, and let out a breath that seemed to take half the day with it. “I didn’t burst into flames if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Always a good start.”
Colin dropped onto the couch beside him, leaned his head back against the cushion, and closed his eyes for a beat.
“They clapped,” he said quietly.
Joshua’s brow lifted. “They what?”
“In the bullpen. When I walked in, Jason called me ‘Daddy Campbell’ and whined that he wanted to steal my office.”
Joshua snorted. “That little shit.”
“I know.” Colin cracked an almost smile. “Sheila accused me of brooding! Me, of all people! Brooding! Of all things!”
Joshua rolled his eyes. “Oh, right! How dare she!”
Colin gave him a fake glare, then smiled. “It was… good, Josh. Weird… but good. I felt like a ghost at first. Like I didn’t belong in my own space. But then they laughed. And hugged me. And insulted me. And it started to feel… less weird… damn near… OK.”
He opened his eyes, turned his head, and looked at Joshua. “I missed it. God help me, I really missed it. I missed them! They’re such good people. They care so damn much about doing what’s right.”
Joshua reached over and slid his hand into Colin’s. “None of that surprises me, love. What surprises me is how long it took you to see it.”
Colin gave a low laugh. “Esther offered three days a week. Small trials, if any. Just misdemeanors. Easy hours. No heavy trauma cases. Said I get to ‘play lawyer’ for a while.” He lifted Joshua’s hand to his lips. “Told her I had to check with my ‘other’ boss.”
Joshua’s fingers traced slow circles on the back of Colin’s hand. “Sounds like a good way to find your footing and maybe find your answers at the same time.”
“Yeah,” Colin said. Then, quieter: “I don’t know if the fire’s back, but I do know the warmth is. I didn’t feel numb today. That’s amazing.”
Joshua leaned over and kissed his temple. “You excel at amazing.”
They sat in silence for a long time, their fingers linked, their breathing synced. Outside, the wind stirred the trees. Inside, the world felt still.
Colin closed his eyes again and whispered, “I think I’m going to be OK.”
Joshua smiled, lips brushing his hair. “I never doubted it for a second.”
He eased back into the courtroom routine like sliding into a well-worn pair of jeans. Judges smiled when they saw him at the prosecutor’s table, and clerks slipped him protein bars, just like always. Even Eddie, the gruff, half-deaf bailiff, slapped him on the back in welcome.
If anyone at city hall was surprised to see the CAO’s golden boy prosecuting petty misdemeanor cases, they kept it to themselves. Everyone knew what he’d been through. Everyone knew what he stood for, then and now. And they all rallied around him.
The docket was light—just two dog bite misdemeanors and a trespass charge—but by the end of the afternoon, Colin had his rhythm back. His voice didn’t crack. His cross-examinations were tight. His objections landed. His statements to the bench were crisp—no wasted words.
And the judge—old DeWitt, sharp as ever under his grizzled scowl—gave him a rare nod of approval after the last ruling.
“You’re still good, Campbell,” he muttered, almost grudgingly. “Glad you’re back.”
Colin just nodded, gathered his file folders, and tucked them under one arm. On his way out, Eddie gave him another swat on the back, nearly sending him into a wall.
“You still walk like a cop,” Eddie accused, then smiled. “You’ll be fine.”
Colin dumped the files on his desk and made his way to the exit, stepping into the fading light of early evening. The courthouse steps were warm from the sun. A breeze rustled the flag overhead. For a moment, he just stood there, suit jacket loose at the shoulders, head tilted up to the sky.
It wasn’t fire. But it was something steady. Something solid. Something… warm.
And right now, that was enough.
He found Joshua in the kitchen, barefoot, sleeves rolled up, stirring something in a pan that smelled like garlic and contentment. Music played low from the living room—a mellow acoustic track with more feeling than lyrics. Joshua swayed in time with its rhythm.
He didn’t turn as Colin entered. “You smell like courthouse funk and heroic triumph.”
Colin dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and grinned. “Is that what I smell like?”
“Mm hm.” Joshua turned, ladle in hand, eyes warm. “Everything go OK?”
“No one threw anything. Judges remembered my name. Eddie bruised my spine with a congratulatory whack.”
Joshua leaned in, kissed him softly, then again, slower. “That sounds suspiciously like a good day.”
“It was. Kind of.”
Colin wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on Joshua’s shoulder.
“I didn’t feel broken,” he whispered. “Not once.”
Joshua’s hands slid up his back, a warm, steady presence. “Good,” he said. “Because you’re not.”
Later, they curled up on the couch, mugs of chamomile tea in hand, socks tangled, the quiet hum of the dishwasher the only sound in the house.
Colin had changed into a hoodie and sweatpants. His court clothes hung neatly in the closet, ready for the next day. He looked relaxed for the first time in weeks—hair damp from a shower, eyes half-lidded with peace.
Joshua nudged him with his toe. “So… Jason has dubbed you Daddy Campbell, huh?”
Colin groaned, dragging a hand through his hair. “God. Please tell me that’s not going to stick.”
Joshua took a long, theatrical sip of his tea. “Oh, it’s already canon. I’m just deciding if I want it on a T-shirt or a coffee mug.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, wouldn’t I?”
Colin narrowed his eyes. “You know I have legal connections, right? I could file an injunction.”
Joshua snorted. “Try it, big guy. See how far it gets you in this household.”
They both laughed and then fell into an easy silence. Colin reached for Joshua’s hand and twined their fingers together, thumb moving in slow circles against his skin.
“Thanks for loving me through all this nonsense,” he said softly.
Joshua squeezed his hand. “C’mon! Wasn’t that part of our vows? For richer or poorer, in nonsense and in gobbledygook?”
Colin snickered and leaned his head against Joshua’s shoulder, eyes closing, the warmth of home settling around him like a well-worn quilt.
“I think I’m back,” he whispered.
Joshua kissed the top of his head.
“My darling, you never left.”