Too Smart
Dahlia
Today was a long day. Too long. I set my bag and keys down on the table by the door as I hang up the coat Vex insisted I wear before leaving his house.
What crime lord makes you eat breakfast and wear a jacket before you go out?
Nothing about him makes sense.
And now I have his number in my phone.
He hasn’t texted.
Not once all day.
Did I really expect him to?
Yes.
A loud knock, like a fist hitting the front door, makes me jump.
Is that him?
With the size of Vex’s hands, wouldn’t his knock sound more like an explosion?
I peek out the window by the door. There’s a very grumpy teenager pacing on my stoop. “Hope, what’s wrong?”
“Where have you been? You didn’t come home all weekend.”
Uh oh. How did she even notice that? We didn’t have any plans to work on her book this weekend. “I’m fine. Would you like to come in for a snack?”
“I’m not hungry.” But she steps inside. “Dinner is soon. And if I don’t eat enough, Dad worries that I’m sick.”
That sounds like Max. “He loves you.”
“He does. And he could love you too.” Hope gives me an expectant look.
“I still haven’t changed my mind. Come with me to the kitchen if you want to talk. I need to eat. It’s been a long day.” And a long time since the strange, but good, avocado toast.
“You could come over for dinner. Nonna is making lamb chops with mint sauce. It sounds weird, but it tastes delicious.”
Lamb and mint?!? “I’m too tired, but thank you. A bowl of ramen suits me just fine.”
“Ramen is a snack, not food.” She wrinkles her nose at me.
“I’ll put vegetables in it.”
“That’s not enough. You need protein too.” Hope plops herself down on a barstool like she lives here.
Protein? I pull the fridge open and stare at the empty shelves. “Um…”
“You’ve got to have something in there.” Hope walks over to stare inside. “What happened to your fridge?”
I shrug. “Food shopping isn’t one of my priorities.”
“You should come over for dinner.”
It’s tempting, so tempting, to just disappear for a few hours into her family. To pretend that the world is perfect. To let the events of this weekend become fuzzy.
Can I really believe that there’s any way the memory of Vex’s face will ever get fuzzy? “It’s been a really long day. I’m not up to a big family dinner. ”
Hope reaches past me and pulls out the egg carton. “Hard-boiled eggs taste good in ramen.”
“Thanks.”
“What happened this weekend?”
“Hope.”
“People think because I’m a kid that I can’t see when things are wrong. Where were you?”
Hope lives a sheltered life. She’s smart and loved by a gaggle of people who never seem to leave her side. “Where’s Fire?”
“Climbing something with Daire. The two of them can’t make it a week without dangling off some rock.” Hope flops back on the stool with the drama only a teenage girl can pull off.
“And you don’t enjoy climbing.” I know I wouldn’t.
“Not really. It’s okay once in a while, but I prefer to keep my feet on the ground. Why won’t you tell me?”
Because that would make it real. Hope wouldn’t understand what it felt like to… “Did your father teach you how to avoid being drugged when you’re out alone?”
Hope’s mouth drops open.
“He needs to teach you. Just because it’s not likely to happen, that doesn’t mean it won’t ever. You need to know how to protect yourself.”
“Were you raped this weekend?”
What!?! “No. It’s just something you need to know.”
“That’s it!” Hope jumps up. “Be right back.” She dashes out of the kitchen.
That’s odd. But then, that girl is always odd. I set to making my bowl of ramen.
“I’m back!” Hope shouts a few minutes later from the front of the house.
“I’m still in the kitchen.” The ramen is finally done. I pour half of the soup into a massive bowl. Just in case Hope changes her mind, I made enough for two. If she doesn’t, I’ll have a midnight snack while I obsess about why Vex hasn’t called or messaged .
Hope walks in, followed by her father and grandparents.
“Um… Hope, what’s going on?” Because I really don’t need to be throwing a family party right now. Or them convincing me to come over to dinner.
“My dad doesn’t give me many rules.”
Okay? What does this have to do with her family standing behind her like angry sentinels?
“But one of them is I always tell him if someone I know is drugged or hurt. There are no exceptions to this rule. And I’m not allowed to wait for a convenient time.”
Why is she explaining this to me? “That sounds like a reasonable rule. Your dad cares for you.” I shift my gaze to Max. There’s a tension to his countenance like I’ve never seen before. His father mirrors his stance. They could be warriors of old preparing for battle… in my kitchen?!? “It’s not good to keep things like that a secret.”
“Then you understand.” Her shoulders relax. “I was worried you’d be upset with me for telling.”
“Understand what?”
“Hope?” Talon speaks for the first time. “Could this have been a mistake?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m sure.”
“Maybe your nonna should talk to her alone.”
Talk to me about what? “Hope, what’s going on?” Last thing I knew, we were talking about ramen and date rape drugs…
“I told my father that you were drugged over the weekend.”
WHAT?
“See I told you. She wouldn’t look like her dog died if it wasn’t true.”
“Hope.” Max sets a hand on her shoulder. “You should go home now.”
“But I need to be here for her. Prue is my friend.”
Be here for me? “I never told you I was drugged.”
“You didn’t need to tell me. But you do need to tell my dad what happened.”
“Why do I need to tell your father?”
“So, he can fix it. ”
Fix it. Fix it. “No one can fix it when you’re drugged. No one can ever take that feeling away from you.”
Hope runs across the room and wraps her arms around me. “My daddy can fix anything.”
If only that were true. I squeeze her back.
“Hope,” Max speaks softly. “Go check on dinner.”
“But—”
“Go check on dinner.” He nods towards the front door. “Now.”
“Fine.” Hope lets me go and walks out of the room.
“Tell us what happened,” Talon demands as soon as the front door closes.
“Um.”
Temperance places a hand on his arm. “This might be hard for her to talk about.”
“Fine, you don’t need to talk. Just give me a name.”
This isn’t happening.
This isn’t happening.
My neighbors aren’t in my kitchen demanding to know about what was almost the worst night of my life.
My hands start shaking.
This isn’t happening.
“Dad.” Max nods towards me. “Look at her.”
Don’t look at me.
Don’t talk to me.
Just pretend all of this never happened.
Why did I ever open the door to Hope?
“What should we do?” Talon reaches up and tugs one of his curls.
Just go away. “Everything is fine. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Mom, Dad, let me give it a try.”
What does he want to try? Tormenting me? I don’t want to do this.
They leave the house without a word.
“You made soup.” Max walks over to the stove .
“Ramen. Would you like some? I made extra.”
“Sure. But I’ll get it. You stay there.”
Today has been too confusing for me to protest. I watch as Max grabs everything he needs and joins me at the island.
We eat in silence for a long minute.
“Ramen hits the spot sometimes. Especially with the hard-boiled egg.”
“That was Hope’s idea. Something about needing protein to make it a meal.” I swirl my noodles listlessly.
“Prudence, I want you to know that you can trust me.”
Trust him? Do I know Max past him being Hope’s father? He’s a great father. “You love Hope a lot.”
“More than life itself. And if there’s one thing I’ve taught my daughter, it’s no one is allowed to hurt a woman ever.”
“Isn’t that a bit sexist?”
Max’s lips tip up. “Maybe. But it’s still the truth in my home. A man taking advantage of a woman… hurting her when her back is turned isn’t acceptable ever.”
He’s right. I know he’s right. “I’m okay. Nothing happened,” I mumble into my bowl, unable to look at him.
“So, you weren’t roofied?”
Lie. Life would be so much easier if you lied. “I was.”
“By whom?”
That should be the easiest question. I should know who did that to me. The name of the man that took away my sense of security. “I don’t know.”
“A loss of memory is common with those drugs. Who did you go out with?”
“No one. I went to a club alone.”
Max’s spoon clatters into his bowl, splashing broth onto the marble. “You went to a club alone?”
“I know. It wasn’t smart, but I didn’t plan on being there long. If I could go back and do it again, I never would have walked in the door.”
“What club was it? ”
Do I tell him? Vex seems to like to live a quiet life. But Max isn’t going to let this go.
“You know what club you went to.”
“Yes. It’s just that nothing happened. I passed out on the bathroom floor. Then a friend took care of me this weekend.”
Max reaches over and places a hand on mine. “Something happened. And even if you want to pretend it didn’t happen, it did. If you don’t tell me for yourself, you need to tell me to protect the next woman.”
“Night Dreams.”
“You got drugged at Night Dreams? That club is one of the safest in Urbium.”
I shrug. “It seems I can find creeps anywhere.”
He chuckles, but his eyes stay hard.
“You need to make sure Hope and Fire don’t do the same thing.”
“Those two will never be alone in a club. As it is, they never go anywhere without a cousin or close friend. They know better.”
Hopefully, they do, but girls do stupid things.
“My mom is a doctor if you want some—”
“I’m fine.” And that’s only sort of a lie.
“If something changes—”
“I’ll reach out.” That’s a lie, but this all needs to be over.
A nightmare that you finally wake up from.
***
A nightmare would be good at this point. Anything would be better than staring up at the ceiling.
Maybe I need some fresh air and a distraction… a little work wouldn’t hurt. I grab my laptop and a blanket and head to my backyard .
“Knock knock neighbor.” Max pretends to knock on the wrought-iron fence twenty minutes later.
What is he doing here? “Come on in.” I gesture to the empty lounge chair next to me.
“You do know most people sleep at two in the morning.” He sits on the edge, staring at me.
“What are you doing up walking the neighborhood at this time?” I parry the question back.
“Jet lag. My system still thinks I’m on the other side of the world. What’s your excuse?”
I shrug. It’s not like I can say that I’ve gotten used to the safe feeling of having Vex next to me in two days and now my body won’t go to sleep.
“Want some company?” He lifts a laptop out of his bag.
“Sure, why not? There’s tea on the table if you want some.”
Max ignores the tea and flips open his computer.
We work in companionable silence for a long while.
Try as I might, the words on my screen are gibberish. Come tomorrow, I’m going to end up deleting them all. “I’m not broken.”
“Yes, you are.” Max doesn’t even look up from his screen, which doesn’t appear to be filled with nonsense. “You were broken before this.”
How does he know that? “Why do you say that?”
“You didn’t deny it.”
Because I can’t. I stare at the blinking cursor.
“The thing is, you won’t stay broken.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Max flips the screen down and turns to me. “Yeah, I’m sure. If you wanted to stay broken, you would be hiding in that house. Not sitting here talking to me.”
“Was talking to you voluntary?” I smile over at him.
“Nope.” He winks and goes back to working.
** *
Strong arms wrap around me, waking me up. “What’s going on?”
The hazy world refuses to focus.
“You fell asleep. I’m putting you in your bed before I head home,” Max says softly in my ear.
“I can walk.”
“You can’t even open your eyes. Just enjoy the ride.”
I do just that. By the time we make it upstairs, I’m mostly asleep again. Tonight can go into the dream category as well.
It didn’t really happen.