Ties
Dahlia
As Vex walks away, I set the camera down on the couch and start to wander around the library.
It feels just a tiny bit invasive looking at his books without him, but he brought me to see his utopia.
The shelves and shelves full of military and historical fiction and non-fiction don’t surprise me. Vex seems like the kind of guy who enjoys a book with lots of things blowing up.
His mystery section is the largest of all. Vex loves a good puzzle, it seems. He’s got Dylan’s entire series in hardback. And dozens of other authors I know or have read. None of which are cozy mysteries like I write.
Did I really expect him to read my… Those are mine. On the next shelf over, he has my books. All of my books.
Does he keep books that he doesn’t like? But he wouldn’t have every single one of my books if he didn’t like them. There are shelves of one-off books.
Vex likes my books .
He doesn’t need to love them like he loves me.
Vex loves me.
He likes my books, and he loves me. I don’t need to hide that part of myself from him. How am I going to tell him?
Do I just blurt it out? Oh hi, by the way, I’m the person who wrote those books. I’ve been keeping it a secret from you.
That only sounds a lot stupid.
I could tell him that I’m shy.
Like he doesn’t already know that.
Why couldn’t they have had book one in stock?
Vex already has book one. But he doesn’t have my latest book.
There’s a box full of Advanced Reader Copies in my suitcase that I was going to share with my author group.
I could sign one and give it to him… That’s perfect! I dash up the stairs, stopping at the spy door, which closed automatically when we came downstairs. A book propped up on the floor works to prevent it from closing behind me.
Thankfully, we left my suitcases by the door when we came in from shopping today. It doesn’t take long for me to grab the book and dash back downstairs.
What do I say?
Dear Vex—It feels wrong to put that name onto paper.
Yet, it’s his name. That’s who he is.
No. His father attached violence to his name.
This is silly. Just write something.
To a future of solving mysteries with you.
I love you,
D. P. Flowers
That will work.
“Why are you sitting on the floor instead of the perfectly comfortable chair just a few feet away?” Vex walks over to the bookshelf I’m sitting in front of.
“You read D. P Flowers' mystery novels.”
“Yeah? Payne got me one as a gag gift. ”
Gag gift. My books are a joke to him.
Vex shrugs. “Turns out Flowers writes a great mystery. He’s become one of my favorite authors, if you can’t tell.”
That was a roller coaster of emotions in a single long moment. You can do this. You can tell him. “None of your books are signed.”
“Flowers doesn’t sign his books either. Reclusive mystery authors seem to be a thing. Why?”
It’s now or never. “I thought you might like one.” I hold the book out to him with trembling hands.
“Dahl, I have all—” He grabs the book out of my hands. “—Where did you get this one? Flowers isn’t releasing this for two months.”
Two months and three days, to be exact, but who’s counting? “That’s an Advanced Reader Copy. Authors give them to friends, influencers, and loyal readers.”
“I know what an Advanced Reader Copy is. How did you get this?”
Why is he making this so hard? “Just read the inscription.”
Vex flips the book open. His wrinkled brows sharpen into harsh lines. “Is this your way of telling me about another man?” He stalks away from me.
Man? Vex thinks… He thinks… Uncontrolled laughter bubbles out of me. “You do know that women can write mystery novels. I’ll have you know that most cozy mysteries are written by women.”
“Women… Flowers… D.P. Flowers… is Dahlia Prudence Fleur.”
And I thought my man was sharp. Jealousy really does block all rational thought in men.
“You wrote these books.”
“Sure did.”
“Is DuPress your last boyfriend? Is that how you got all of his books signed?”
“Dylan? You think Dylan was my boyfriend?”
“Well, was he?” Vex practically growls as he walks towards me.
“Don’t you get all grumpy and growly with me. Even if it’s totally sexy.”
“Don’t play games with me, Dahl. ”
“I tell you one of my biggest secrets and you think I’m playing games with you? That’s rich. Whatever this jealous streak is, you better learn to get over it, and quickly. I’m not living my life with you constantly jumping up and threatening violence any time a man so much as looks at me.” No matter how amazing it sounds on paper. “I love you. You’re the only man I have ever said those words to. And you’re the only man I ever will say those words to. Now shut down the outrageous jealousy once and for all.”
“The only man.” He takes a step closer. “Say it again.”
“I am certainly not saying it again on demand.” Irritating man. Two can play at this game. I square my shoulders and take a step forward. “You say it again.”
“Dahl.” Vex stops moving.
“How many women have you told that you love them?” I take another step forward.
“Dahl.” Vex takes a step back.
“Well?”
He steps back one more step until the backs of his legs bump into the couch we were laying on a short time ago. “No one. I’ve never told another woman I love them, because I’ve never loved another woman but you.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really.”
We stand there staring at each other.
“Now, what are you going to do?”
That’s a good question. I have a man that loves me right where I want him. Why am I waiting for him to kiss me? Women kiss men all the time. I’m no different than they are. But stepping forward and asking him to lean down and kiss me would totally kill the vibe.
His tie.
Without a single rational thought past that, I grab his tie and make eye contact with Vex.
“Well now, this is an interesting turn of events.” Vex smirks.
“Don’t distract me. ”
“I would never dream of it. Have you figured out what you’re going to do next?”
Obviously, I haven’t, but I can’t let him know that. “Uh huh.”
“Do you think you might get on with it?”
“Nope. You can’t rush these things.” Especially when you’re stalling for time to figure out what’s next. I mean, I know what’s next. I’m going to kiss Vex. Assuming we don’t bump noses or any of the other millions of ways kids manage to ruin a kiss. “I never wore braces. Did you?”
“No, Dahl. I don’t do doctors.”
“You don’t? How is that possible? You have scars on your chest that looked like they needed to be stitched.” That makes it sound like I stared at his chest, which I kind of did, but I don’t want him to know that.
“Doctors aren’t the only ones that can give stitches.”
“They’re the only ones with drugs and a license. That means—”
“What it means is you’ll look for anything to distract you from the task at hand.”
That might be true too. “I don’t like the thought of you in pain.”
“Pain is a part of life.” He reaches out and cups my cheek. “But I’m not in pain right now.”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
“Yes, you are.”
“What if I do it wrong?”
“Ahh. That’s where the braces comment came from. You’re not going to do it wrong.”
“But what if I do? Why haven’t you kissed me?”
“Dahl, you’re hanging on to my tie tight enough to strangle a man if you tug the wrong way. I’m pretty sure you want to be the one to kiss me.”
Oopsie. I relax my hand just a tiny bit. “This would have been easier if you kissed me.”
“We’ll try that later.”
“You’re enjoying this. Watching me squirm. ”
“Sure am.”
That’s wrong. So wrong. But a grin spreads across my face.
“Have you built up the courage yet?”
I shrug. Maybe. “Will I like kissing you?”
“Yes, Dahl.”
“Will you like me kissing you?”
His grin gets wider. “Yes, Dahl.”
“Will I want to kiss you again?”
“Yes, Dahl. Often.”
He isn’t going to think that once I kiss him… “That doesn’t mean I’m going to fall into bed with you. I mean, I am going to go to bed with you, but not like that. My mother would know if we slept together. She has some sixth sense about these things.”
“Dahlia.”
“Fine, but I just didn’t want you to think things.”
“I think about lots of things. But the only thing I’m thinking about right now is kissing you.”
That’s so romantic. “I think about kissing you all the time.”
“Dahlia.”
“Fine. But if I do something wrong, it’s all your fault.”
He laughs as I gently tug on the tie, pulling his head down towards mine.
I touch my lips to his and pause for a moment. This feels nice. His lips are soft and minty. We didn’t eat anything minty.
He… He… I pull back. “You brushed your teeth.”
“Of course I did. I told you I loved you. There’s no way I wasn’t going to kiss you today.”
“But you brushed your teeth, and I didn’t. There’s a rule. You can’t brush your teeth when I didn’t brush mine.”
“Dahl, kiss me.”
“Fine. But it’s your own fault if I taste like roasted onions and garlic when you’re all minty fresh.” I tug on his tie until our lips meet again. The last thing on my mind is the lingering effects of lunch when his fingers slide into my hair and up against my scalp.
Once every six weeks since I turned fifteen, I’ve gotten a scalp massage. Not one of them felt like this. I drop his tie and slide my hands up his arms and around his shoulders. It’s one perfect moment like they write about in books.
Vex lifts his head away, and I can’t stop a sigh from escaping my lips.
“Well, do you think you’ll want to do that again, Dahl?”
“Mmmm.”
He leans down and kisses the tip of my nose.
“Kissing isn’t as scary as I thought it was.”
“Only you thought kissing would be scary.” He dots a kiss on the corner of my lips.
It is when you’re as old as me and have never done it before that you start to get a bit anxious. “Does this mean I can kiss you whenever I want?”
“Dahl, you could have kissed me any time you wanted for weeks now.”
“I’ve only known you for weeks—Oh. Oh.” That means I can do it again and again.
His fingers tighten in my hair, moving my head towards his as he leans down again.
This, I could get used to.
***
“So, are we going to find out who the killer is in this book?” Vex fiddles with a lock of my hair while turning the page of the book I gave him.
“No. There are four more books in this series.”
“Four? You’re going to need to start writing faster. I don’t want to wait a year to find out who did it?”
I sit up and glare at him. “Readers. You give ‘em a book, and they want four more in the blink of an eye. ”
“Yup. So, are you going to hurry up and get it done for me?”
Incorrigible man. “Well, if I give up sleeping at night, it’s possible that I could get it done a month or two earlier.”
“Or you could quit your job answering phones and just write.”
Financially, I could do that. “That job is the only thing that gets me out of the house.”
“I know, Dahl.” He shifts up so that now we’re both sitting instead of sprawled across the couch. “But you’d have so much more time to write.”
“No, Vex.” Why does his name grate on my nerves sometimes? “You don’t understand. If I didn’t go to work, I’d never leave the house.”
“So? You’d be safe. Have plenty of work to keep you occupied. And always be free to spend time with me.”
There’s a lot to unpack in that. Is all of this about him wanting me to be safe? Or to spend all my time with him. “No, you don’t understand. I won’t leave the house.”
His brow furrows. “Help me understand, Dahl.”
How do I explain this without telling him everything? “Before I got this job and moved to Urbium, I lived in my parent’s guest house.”
“Okay?”
“It wasn’t because I couldn’t afford to move out. It was because I never wanted to go out. Ever. I didn’t have agoraphobia, but I could have seen it getting to that point.”
“Dahl.” He reaches out and strokes my cheek.
“So when I say I need this job, I need this job.”
“Then you’ll keep the job… For now.”
Stubborn man. “Oh, really?”
“Because at some point, hopefully in the near future, you’re not going to need that crutch. You’ll be just fine going out with me or your friends whenever you feel like it. Not because you have to punch a clock for some job. ”
What a beautiful thing to say. He believes I have more strength than I do. How can people think he’s a monster? His name doesn’t help. “What’s your real name?”
Vex blinks twice. “That’s a big jump. One of these days, I’m going to understand how your mind works.”
That would be one of us that does. “Vex?”
“I can’t tell you that, Dahl.”
After I just exposed so much of myself to him, he can’t even tell me his name. The pain those words cause—
“It’s not because I don’t want to tell you. It’s because I don’t have a name.”
Huh? “Everyone has a name. It’s given to you when you’re born.”
“In a hospital like a normal person. My father didn’t believe in sharing unnecessary information with the government. So, when I was born, he never took my mother to the hospital, nor did he tell the government that I even existed. Vex is the only name he ever gave me.”
No name. The man in front of me wasn’t even given the simple respect of a name. “But you own all this. You have to have a name to buy stuff.”
“It’s a flawlessly crafted false ID.”
“Like spies have in the movies?”
Vex chuckles. “Still not a spy.”
“It would have been easier if you were.” Sort of. I think. At least then he would have had a family that loved him and a name to hold on to.
“Life doesn’t always give us a choice.”
It should. No one should ever have to grow up like Vex did. “I don’t want to call you Vex anymore.”
“Then don’t call me Vex.”
As simple as that, he gives me what I want, even if it means changing who he is. “But I don’t know what to call you?”
We sit silently staring at each other like a name is just going to miraculously appear if we think hard enough .
“The first words you said to me were ‘Hello, Darling.’ I felt that darling down to my soul. It shook me.”
“It did?”
He nods.
“I could call you that. In private.”
“That works for me, if it works for you.”
“So, every morning I’m going to wake up and say hello, Darling, then kiss you.” That sounds too perfect.
“No. New rule. No kissing in bed.”
What? “You said I could kiss you any time I wanted to.”
“Not in bed.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’ll be getting an unexpected visit from your mother. Where she tells you how disappointed she is in you.”
Why would she… Oh. OH! “No kissing in bed. But I’m still going to say good morning, Darling.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“And if I can’t kiss you then, I better kiss you now.” I shift up onto my knees and kiss him.
Today is officially the best day ever.