15. Rakk #3
When consciousness returns, my wrist is splinted and wrapped. Zurkar is preparing a healing draught. And Kaelen is staring at me with devastation written across his features.
"How long?" My best friend's voice cracks. "How long have you been doing this?"
"Since the mating ceremony."
"God, Rakk. All this time—" He gestures helplessly at my revealed injuries. "You're destroying yourself."
"She doesn't know," Lola whispers. Her eyes shine with unshed tears. "Serah doesn't know any of this."
"She can't know." I accept the draught from Zurkar and drink despite how it burns. "If word spreads about the magic—"
"To the hells with the magic!" Kaelen explodes. "You're dying by inches while she thinks herself unloved! While the entire clan believes you're brutalizing her! This has to stop!"
"I can't stop. The clan expects—"
"The clan will fall in line if you show strength differently.
" Lola's usually gentle voice carries unexpected steel.
"You're the Chieftain's heir. Your father might push tradition, but the warriors respect you.
If you put Serah first—actually put her first instead of this twisted protection that's killing you both—they'll follow. "
"And if they don't?"
"Then you fight." Kaelen's jaw sets with familiar determination. "You fight until they understand that your mate is untouchable. That anyone who questions your authority answers to you personally. That includes your father."
"Dad will strip my inheritance if he learns about the binding magic."
"Then don't tell him about the magic." Lola touches my arm gently.
"Tell him you're done performing dominance because your mate deserves better.
Tell him you'll prove your strength through leadership instead of brutality.
But Rakk..." Her voice softens. "Tell Serah the truth.
Tell her everything. She deserves to know what you've been sacrificing. "
"She'll still hate me." The words scrape out raw and bleeding. "I trapped her. Humiliated her. Made choices for her when she's spent her entire life having choices stolen. Knowing I bled for it doesn't undo the damage."
"Maybe not." Kaelen grips my shoulder—the uninjured one. "But at least she'll understand. At least she'll know you love her enough to destroy yourself protecting her. That's something, brother. That's a place to start rebuilding."
"What if it's not enough?"
"Then you keep trying." Lola's eyes hold mine. "You keep showing up. Keep proving through actions that she's the most important thing. You messed up catastrophically. Now you fix it. Not the easy way. Not the way that protects your pride or your inheritance. The way that actually puts her first."
Zurkar finishes bandaging my ribs in silence.
When he speaks, his weathered voice carries weight.
"The binding will kill you eventually if this continues.
Your body cannot sustain indefinite damage transfer.
Either reveal the truth and find another way, or watch the soul-binding consume you completely. "
I stare at my splinted wrist. At the layers of bruising still visible beneath bandages. At the evidence of bleeding in secret while my mate suffered in different ways.
Lola is right. Kaelen is right. Even Zurkar is right.
I've been so focused on protecting Serah from the clan's brutality that I never considered I might be inflicting worse damage by maintaining the deception. She thinks herself unloved. Thinks me cruel. Believes everything we shared by the river was manipulation leading to this nightmare.
And I let her believe it because telling the truth felt more dangerous than the lie.
"I'm an idiot."
"Spectacularly so," Kaelen agrees. "But you're my idiot. And I'll help you fix this. We all will."
Lola nods firmly. Zurkar inclines his head.
I think about Serah alone in my dwelling, checking her unmarked skin and wondering why her mate's brutality leaves no trace. About how she flinches from my touch now. About amber-hazel eyes that used to look at me with tentative trust and growing want.
About how I've been destroying us both in the name of protection.
"I need to talk to her," I say finally. "Tonight. No more delays. No more performances." My throat tightens. "Even if she can't forgive me. Even if this ends with her leaving. She deserves the truth."
"That's the smartest thing you've said in weeks." Kaelen helps me stand. "Now go. Before you lose your nerve."
"And Rakk?" Lola's voice stops me at the door. "When you tell her... let her see the injuries. Let her understand the physical cost. She needs to know what the binding actually means. What you've been enduring."
I nod. Can't speak past the fear lodging in my chest.
Because revealing everything means watching her face when she learns I bound myself to her without permission. When she understands I made another choice for her—even if this one was meant to protect rather than control.
It means risking the fragile thread still connecting us.
But Lola's right. Serah deserves the truth. All of it. No matter what it costs me.
I just hope there's something left worth saving when the truth finally comes to light.