Chapter 11
ELEVEN
KANE
“What?” I ask groggily, then go rigid as I look down at the loaded gun pressed to my dick. “Little thief, what the hell are you doing?”
“Oh, I don’t know?” she answers casually. “Debating whether I should put a bullet in your ballsack, maybe?”
Okay, so she’s pissed.
I gulp. “Baby, you’ve already stabbed me with a letter opener and now you’re holding a gun to my junk. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
“Overreacting, Kane? Really?”
Right. Probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say, all things considered.
“I don’t know, little thief. This seems a bit excessive.”
She laughs bitterly, and the sound is more chilling than the winds here when the seasons turn. “You cheated.”
“Really? I cheated on you? That’s news to me.”
She digs the gun in harder, making me grunt and grit my teeth. “Don’t be a smartass.”
“Baby,” I say carefully. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re kinda scary at times.”
“Is that so? Apparently, you didn’t think I was scary before you dipped your cock in someone else. I guess it’s all about perspective, huh?”
She trails it lower, threatening to tap my balls, and I tense my abs because we all know that shit is terrifying as hell.
“Careful, baby.” My jaw aches as I grind my teeth.
A faint smile curves her mouth. “You’re hard, Kane. Maybe you’re just as fucked up as me.”
“It’s called fight or flight. I came armed and ready.”
Jessica removes the gun from my family jewels and digs it into the underside of my jaw instead. She tips it up as she straddles my lap on the bed. “Money can’t buy humor.”
“Are you insulting me?”
She digs the gun in deeper and leans down over me. “Stating a fact.”
My hands find her waist. “So it’s an insult.”
Instead of answering, she looks at my bloodied sleeve, the fabric stained a deep crimson. “Did it hurt?”
“Would it make you happy if it did?”
“Very much so.”
“Then yes, it hurt like a bitch.”
Her lips twitch, just barely, and my heart skips a beat.
I skim my hands lower over the curve of her ass. She’s braless in a pink tank top and her panties are small enough that my fingertips meet bare flesh.
“Good,” she whispers, dragging the gun down the sharp line of my jaw. “You deserved it.”
I need to tell her about that night at Dark Lanes. She needs to know the truth. It’s killing me that she thinks I’d ever do anything to make her feel less than.
“Jessica—”
“Shhh.” She unbuttons my jeans and slips her hand inside. The moment her small hand wraps around my dick, I choke on a breath.
“Quiet, Kane, or I stop.”
My hands are trembling on her waist. It takes tremendous effort not to flip her over and take control, but I sense the hurt she’s trying to disguise with every stroke. I hate that she’s doubting me. I hate that I made her feel that way, even if I thought it was for the right reasons.
“You’re an asshole, Kane Ravencourt. You know that, right?”
She slips her hand out, frees my hard length, then sits up and yanks her panties aside.
When she sinks down, my eyes roll back.
And although it’s the tightest pussy I’ve ever felt wrapped around my dick, it’s not about that.
It’s her. Always her.
The gun leaves my throat briefly when she pulls off her tank top and throws it aside. I palm her tits, meeting the frantic rolls of her hips.
“Who is a better fuck? Me or her?”
“Jessica… mphg.”
She’s making me see fucking stars, riding my dick like she’s trying to prove a point.
“Look at me. Isn’t that what you told me earlier? Well, now it’s your turn to watch me fuck you, because after this, you never get to feel me again.”
“Baby, don’t say—”
“Shut up!” She digs the gun into my throat. “Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear you speak. I want your cock, that’s all.”
It’s like that feeling when Beverly uses me.
In those moments, I’m nothing more than a toy. The only difference is that I love this girl and want to make her feel good, to be the cause of her pleasure.
And I’ll let her use me and dig her nails into those deep scars, some of which haven’t scabbed over yet, if it makes her happy.
But I don’t think this is making her happy, because in the next breath, she climbs off and gets on all fours.
“What are you waiting for?” she asks, staring at the headboard. “This is what you came for, right? You’re bored. I’m easy.”
My heart throbs in a bruised, uneven rhythm. I don’t move at first, my lungs working around something excruciatingly heavy.
“Just fuck me.” Her voice wobbles and my own eyes blur with the sting of tears.
I’m slow to move, but then I’m behind her, gripping her hips and thrusting into her. This is what she asked for.
What she wants.
But I don’t know if I can do it.
Treat her like she’s just another meaningless fuck.
Like she’s Beverly.
The bed is squeaking rhythmically. Skin slaps against skin. Jessica stays quiet, face buried in a pillow.
The pain behind my ribs tightens until it feels like my lungs have been filled with wet cement. When I fuck Beverly, I feel nothing. It’s mechanical. Hollow. But now I feel everything, and I almost wish I could switch it all off.
“I can’t do this.” I pull out and all but stumble away, doing up my pants in a hurry.
“Kane?” Jessica’s small voice reaches me over the war that’s raging inside me, but I can’t bring myself to look at her.
I wipe my wet cheeks dry with my sleeve and make for the window, but she scrambles off the bed and pulls me to a stop.
“Stay. Please.”
When she turns me around, my body follows like I’m a puppet, and I stare at a spot above her head, unable to meet her gaze.
I only realize I’m trembling when she runs her palms over my chest and begins to unbutton my shirt.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, pressing soft kisses to my bare skin.
“I didn’t cheat with that girl,” I speak so quietly, it’s a miracle she even hears it.
She looks up and I swallow hard, still staring at the spot on the wall behind her. “I believe you.”
My chin wobbles. I can feel it. And I curse myself for whatever shit is going on with me right now. I’ve always been a fortress. Nothing could touch me. So why the hell am I crumbling right in front of her?
If only I could tell her about the senator’s wife. I don’t want any more secrets between us. But I can’t. She’ll push me away.
There’s no reality where she’ll ever forgive me for fucking Beverly. Not in the past and certainly not in the future, because it will happen again. And I’ll have no choice but to comply.
So if I have to keep that secret buried to win me a few more stolen moments with Jessica, I will.
I’ll bury it so fucking deep, it’ll never be unearthed.
“I would never cheat on you,” I say again as I thread my fingers through her long hair. The tangles catch on my skin and I let it soothe me to hold her like this…in my arms.
As she continues kissing my chest, I drop my nose to her head and breathe her in. There’s no one who smells as good as her, like sun-dried sheets and ocean air, with a hint of perfume.
Jessica looks up at me with those big eyes that swim with emotion. She has me all twisted up in a knot.
I cradle her face and brush my nose against hers. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here.
In my attempts to protect her, I almost lost the girl I love.
There’s that loaded word again.
Love.
“Do you trust me?” I ask, nudging her nose with mine, teasing her with an almost kiss.
“Yes.” The whisper feathers my lips. “I trust you, Kane.”
It’s scary how hard my heart beats, drumming against my ribs like rain against cathedral stone.
The kiss starts out slow.
Hesitant.
We’re stepping onto thin ice.
Jessica pushes my shirt off my shoulders, and the blood-stained fabric falls on the floor as I cradle her face again.
“Make love to me, Kane,” she breathes.
Our lips collide, and she presses up onto her tiptoes and winds her arms around my neck.
I break the kiss. “We should talk.”
“We can talk later,” she answers and then pulls me down to her mouth again.
How could I ever think to deprive myself of this?
Her soft touch. Her nipping kisses. The sharp tug of her fingers in my hair as I trail kisses down her neck and back up to the curve of her jaw and lips.
She makes quick work of my pants and boxers, pushing them down.
And then comes the unsexy part.
Socks.
I don’t care who you are. There’s no sexy way to remove socks.
Jessica giggles as I struggle to balance on one leg, my leaking cock bouncing against my abs.
And then I’m on her, lifting her up against the wall as she wraps her thighs around my waist.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
Her tits fit perfectly in my hands as I palm their weight while kissing her hard and deep, feasting on her lips until my lungs burn.
“I’m not sure about a lot of things,” she replies, arching when I dip my head to suck her nipple between my teeth.
I bite the bud, and Jessica fists my hair to pull me to her mouth.
“But I’m sure about this,” she says.
Another hungry kiss and more breathy moans, silenced by swollen lips and clashing teeth.
I reach down to align my cock with her wet heat, and Jessica breaks the kiss as I sink inside. She’s warm and tight around me, and every thought I had disappears. I have to breathe through it. She feels that good.
Her breath comes faster as I slowly fill her up, and her nails dig into my sweat-slicked skin.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, pressing inside.
I’m trying to keep my voice steady, but I’m hanging on by a thread.
She nods and stares up at me with lust-filled, dark eyes that make my balls feel even heavier.
I’m still holding back, but barely.
Fuck it.
Something inside me snaps.
I grip her throat and give a hard thrust, seating my cock to the hilt.
Jessica gasps. Her greedy pussy clamps down like a fist.
I lean down to kiss her as I pull out to the tip.
A thrill rushes up my spine when I bury myself deep again, and she moans my name.
It’s the most addictive sound.
A sound I’d kill to hear again.
“Tell me you missed me.” I slide my heavy dick out slowly enough for her to grow frustrated and wriggle her hips, begging for more. I want her to feel the deliberate drag of my cock against her walls. Each inch. Each angry vein.
“I missed you.” Her voice caresses my balls like a teasing breath.
I reward her with another hard thrust that makes her back slide up the wall and her breasts bounce.
“Tell me you want me,” I demand, gliding back out.
She whines, digging her heels into my ass. “I want you.”
Another hard thrust, and I swallow her moan with a brutal kiss. This time, I give us both what we want.
I pin her to the wall and sink in again and again, finding a frantic, punishing rhythm that draws out the pleasure until I don’t know which is up or down. It’s just us and our grinding bodies seeking friction.
I slow my thrusts. “Tell me you love me.”
Jessica’s eyes widen, so I kiss her again before she can think too hard.
“Tell me you love me,” I whisper against her lips and slowly ease my hips back until my cock nudges her slick hole. “Tell me you love me.”
She’s breathing hard. Her hands are buried in the hair at my nape. Her thighs keep me trapped.
I tuck her damp hair behind her ear. “Because I love you. It’s always been you, and I don’t want to take you again if you don’t love me back.”
She swallows and trails her fingers through my stubble. When she finally speaks, her lashes flutter as she looks into my eyes. “I love you, Kane Ravencourt.”
My heart kicks.
I bury myself in her, and all else fades except her.
This.
Us.
I gather her hands above her head with one of mine and drive into her until she finally cries out my name.
And then I make her come again.
And again.
Until dawn bleeds through the dark.
Until I’ve seared myself into her soul the way she has imprinted herself on mine.