Chapter Tie Me Up
Tie Me Up
Fiona
That felt like the best nap of my life. It might be because it was the only nap I’ve ever taken, but still, it felt amazing. I almost feel guilty for leaving Max with a fussy baby.
Not totally, but almost.
What was with him touching my hand like that?
It didn’t feel like a friendly touch. That’s got to be in your head.
Max isn’t flirting with you. He’s a father.
And why can’t a single father flirt?
Single mothers do it all the time.
But he’s flirting with me. Doesn’t Max know that I’m damaged goods?
Hasn’t someone told him about my past?
Like who? Maddox isn’t going to share.
Emilia doesn’t know the half of it, even though she seems to be able to look in my eyes and read my soul.
Maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t there. Max is a very attractive man with everything in the world going for him, minus the slightly scary mafia thing. Why would he look at a woman like me?
Yes, I’m pretty. There are a ton of pretty women in this world.
Max would pick a woman like Dahlia…someone sweet, kind, intelligent, innocent…something I will never be.
My heart will always be soiled…Sometimes I think people can see it on my face like the scarlet letter in the books. Max obviously can’t.
Or maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t there because he’s my ideal man.
This is stupid.
Max wouldn’t play games. He’d simply ask you out and be done with it.
There’s no need to worry unless that happens.
Yet I can’t stop the rolling waves of fear running through me.
That’s a lack of coffee. Time to caffeinate. I make my way back to the bakery.
“Fiona.” Hope rushes over. “Dad said you weren’t feeling well and needed to rest. He took Dash. They’re out front.”
“Thanks.” I walk over to the coffee station.
“He’s a really cute kid. Are you going to adopt him?”
Me? Adopt Dash? “No. I’m just going to take care of him until he has a forever home to go to.”
Her shoulders sag. “Really?”
“Yup.”
“That’s so sad.”
What? “Why do you say that?”
“Because you’re going to fall in love with him, then he’s going to go away.”
And? “People come into your life, and people leave your life.”
“Not in my family. People stay. They might go places for a little while, but they never leave forever. How do you handle people leaving?”
I shrug. “They’re going to live a better life.”
“A better life…” Hope reaches for a cup. “You’re going to come to Sunday dinner, right? My nonno would be disappointed if you didn’t come.”
“I don’t know—”
“You have to come. I’ve been telling everyone about you. All my cousins want to meet you. They’ll be so disappointed. My nonna is cooking, and her food is amazing.”
An excuse…you need an excuse. “Daria and I have plans to spend the weekend together.”
“So bring her too.”
“Daria doesn’t like to be in crowds.”
“It won’t be a crowd. Just family is invited.”
Somehow, I don’t trust those innocent eyes of hers. Maybe it’s the little glint in the corner of her eye that makes me think she’s up to mischief. Or it could be the smile that’s just like her father's.
Whatever it is, something feels off. “I don’t—”
“You have to come. Please don’t say no.”
Why can’t I say no to this kid? Ugh. “Fine, but we can’t stay long.” Daria is definitely coming with me so that I don’t end up sitting in the corner alone.
How am I going to pull her away from her books? “Dash might come with us.”
“Even better! Dad’s out front if you want to check on Dash.”
Oh, I probably should. I left him for a long time. Max probably didn’t mean for me to take hours. “Thanks.”
Max is at his favorite table in the corner, with Dash sitting in his arms. The two of them are staring intently at the computer screen. It’s eerie how much Dash looks like Max right now, even down to the same wrinkle in their brows.
“That must be some interesting video.”
Max looks up with a smile, and Dash gurgles at me. “We’re watching an introductory video on how to code. I think the kid might have skills.”
How can a baby have coding skills? You know, I don’t want to know. “Sorry I took so long.”
“Don’t be. I offered, and the two of us have been having a nice time. It took me a while to steal him away from Hope.”
About that. I slide into the booth across from him. “Do I need to be careful of that? She seems to be developing an attachment to him.” Which isn’t a good idea since Dash could be taken away at any time.
Max glances towards the kitchen. “Nah. Hope’s good.”
That’s one less worry.
“How was your nap?”
“Blissful. All I missed was one night’s sleep. I think I’m getting old for this. How did you do it with Hope? Or was she a good sleeper?” Why did I ask that?
“Hope was a wonderful baby. I was a nut. After Ivy died, I was afraid all the time that I’d lose Hope too, which meant I didn’t sleep much. It gave me lots of time to code, though.”
Dash reaches out and slaps the keyboard. He lets out a loud gurgle.
“See? I told you…a natural.”
Babies slap things. It’s part of their learning process, but if he wants to believe that, who am I to change his mind? “That had to be hard.”
“It was.”
“Would you do it again?” Ugh! What is with me asking him all these personal questions? Max is going to think I’m flirting with him.
“If the right woman came along, I would. Though I would still worry.”
Losing her had to be devastating for him to carry the pain this long. “Ivy was your one?”
“I thought so at the time.”
What? “Did that change?”
“I don’t know. Maybe my perspective changed. If she hadn’t died, we’d still be together, and I’d still be madly in love with her.”
Any other woman will come in second to a dead woman.
“I thought you two might like some lunch.” Hope sets down two roast beef sandwiches. “The giardiniera on this is amazing. Enjoy.” She rushes off.
Max moves the computer to the side, but still in front of Dash. “These look good.”
“Ace roasts the beef for us twice a week. But we pickle the giardiniera in-house every week. And the horseradish comes from a family farm not too far away. They make it fresh a couple of times a year, then we mix it up into this spicy sauce.” And I’m babbling.
“Are they your recipes?” Max lifts half the sandwich up while deftly holding on to Dash.
“The giardiniera was originally Luisella’s, but I tweaked it a bit. I added some fresh lemon juice and a bit more smoked paprika.”
“Lemon. That’s what I’m tasting. It’s perfect.”
Dash reaches for Max’s food.
“Sorry, little guy. You’re not ready for this yet.”
Dash pouts like he understands the words Max said, but still reaches for the food.
“He’s probably ready for some lunch as well.”
“Second lunch, you mean. I fed him his first lunch an hour ago.” Max sets his sandwich down and slides it away from grasping little hands.
“He’s a growing boy. Here, I can feed him.”
Max doesn’t move to hand me the baby. Instead, he reaches inside the cooler in the diaper bag for the bottle I prepared this morning.
Dash starts bouncing around when he sees the bottle.
“Oh, can I feed him?”
How did Hope show up like that?
“Sure.” Max hands the baby over, who is already sucking down his meal like he’s been starved for a week. “Where were we?” He asks with a smile when Hope disappears with Dash.
Talking about how you will always love Ivy. “I believe we were eating lunch.” The knots tied up in my stomach don’t make the meal appealing anymore.