Chapter 12 - Elle
“This is the new training facility.” August pointed at a big building on the east end of the pack land.
The glass and steel exterior was an enormous contrast to the much older buildings, which Elle recalled as she was growing up.
She narrowed her eyes under the afternoon sun, looking at the building that had not been there eight years before.
“We built it three years ago,” August went on, and took her through paved pathways that ran through the land. “Rael designed it. State-of-the-art equipment, separate zones dealing with various forms of combat training, even a medical wing to treat any injuries there.”
Elle nodded, still trying to make sense of everything. Everything was bigger now. More organized. They had new houses, new structures, and new wolves that she did not recognize on the streets.
“The Starville territory has grown a great deal,” she noted.
“Almost doubled in size since you left.” August visibly hesitated before continuing.
“When Silas became Alpha after the death of his father, one of the first things he did was to enter into negotiations with the other packs to expand our lands. He said we needed space to develop and to build something better than what his father had created.”
Elle nodded wordlessly, enjoying the quiet time she was having with her brother. She hadn't felt so free since she came back. Just her and August, just like old times, walking and talking, with no mates, missions, or magic putting pressure on them.
August showed her various landmarks, like the schoolhouse where young shifters received an
education. The community center where they gathered and celebrated. The residence area where families live.
“You've made a lot of changes,” Elle noted
“Silas has,” August corrected. “I just helped implement them.”
Elle wrinkled her nose. She didn't know how to feel about him yet. Silas, who had picked on her years ago, is completely different from the Alpha who had punched his brother in the face for her the day before. But then, was it really any different, and was she simply seeing what she wanted to see?
“Here,” August stopped at a bench overlooking a small pond. “This is my favorite spot. I come here when I need to think.”
They took a seat, and Elle watched the ducks on the water.
“I'm glad you're back,” August started. “I am aware of the fact that the situation is awful. I know you didn't choose this. But selfishly, I am happy I can see you again.”
Elle's throat tightened. “I missed you, too.”
“I had you in mind every day. I wondered what you were doing. If you were safe. If you were happy.” He paused. “I wanted to reach out so many times.”
There it was. The elephant, which they had been dancing around for days.
“But you did not,” Elle said sharply.
August flinched. “No. I didn't.”
“You knew where I was, and you never made any effort to get in touch with me. You gave me the bullshit story of not wanting to destroy the life I had built. But I needed you. I needed my brother.”
“Elle—”
“Do you have any idea what those first two years were like?” Elle turned sideways to look at him, anger coursing through her veins.
“I was scared on a daily basis. I was not aware of how to operate in the human world. I was not sure what to do to pay the bills, or where to get apartments or how to use the systems I never learned about. I slept in my car. I went hungry. I was attacked twice by men because they believed that a woman would be an easy target.”
August's face went pale. “I didn't know—”
“Because you weren't there!” Elle's voice rose. “You were my brother. You were expected to be my guardian. And you only... watched me like some science experiment from a distance.”
“That's not fair.”
“Oh, please.” Elle stood, pacing in front of the bench. “You said you found me after two years. Which means for four more years after that, while I was picking up my life, learning how to be strong, struggling each day to survive, you were only watching. Never helping. Never reaching out.”
August stood up too, his eyes hard. “I wanted to help. You cannot imagine how many times I was going to show up at your apartment, or at your job. But I thought—”
“You thought what? That I was better off alone? And that I didn't need my family anymore.”
“I thought you were happy!” He sighed in exasperation and pushed his brown hair back. “I watched you make some friends, get promoted at work, make a life. You were thriving, Elle. And I did not wish to spoil that by showing up as nothing more than a relic of your past.”
Her eyes burned with tears. “That should have been my decision. You should have contacted me and left me to choose whether I would have you in my life or not. Instead, you chose that on my behalf. You made the decision on my behalf just like the rest of the members of this damn pack make them.”
“You're right,” August sighed. “I should have reached out. I was a coward. I was scared you would not want to see me. I refused to get close that way I could avoid confronting what I had done.”
The confession diffused some of the rage Elle was feeling. She could see the genuine regret on her brother's face, the guilt that had been eating at him for years.
“I do not blame you for the banishment,” she said softly. “I know you tried to stop it.”
“But I didn't try hard enough.”
“Maybe not. But as I said, you couldn't have gone against the Alpha.” She wiped at the corners of her eyes. “I am angry about the years after when you knew where I was and preferred to stay away.”
“I understand, and I'm sorry. But I would like to be in your life again, should you allow me, of course.”
Elle studied her brother. He looked older than how old he actually was, burdened with guilt and regret. But he also looked sincere. And even when she was angry, even when she was hurt, Elle missed her brother.
“I want that too,” she gave him a small smile. “But it's going to take time. One step at a time.”
“I know. I'll wait as long as you need.”
There was an embarrassing moment of silence between them. And when August spoke again, his voice was uncertain.
“There is one more thing that you need to know.”
Elle tensed. “What?”
“About me not reaching out. It was not necessarily my choice. Silas told me not to make any contact with you.”
“What?”
“I was so happy when I eventually found you. I wanted to visit you immediately, to make everything clear, to apologize. But I told Silas first, and he asked me not to contact you. That you should lead your life without remembering this place.”
Elle could barely believe what she was hearing. “And you just... agreed?”
“I agreed because a part of me believed he was right. You were happier in the human world. Much happier than ever I saw you here. And I figured you were better without us.”
“So, Silas knew where I was as well.”
August nodded. “He knew. But he never looked or asked for more details. He just ordered me to leave you alone and let you live your life in peace.”
Elle felt rage, white-hot and consuming, run through her body.
Silas had known where she was for years and never reached out once, and he actively discouraged August to do the same.
He had made decisions regarding her life without her consent or knowledge.
Just like he had done with literally everything else.
“Where is he?” Elle demanded.
“Elle, wait—”
But Elle was already walking away, ignoring the curious glances of the members of the pack, and headed straight in the direction of Silas' house.
She found him in his office, where he was looking over papers on his desk. His head snapped up when he noticed Elle walk in.
“Elle?”
“You knew where I was all that time.”
Silas went still. “August told you.”
“Of course, he told me! Did you think he'd hide that from me?” She walked towards his desk. “You knew I was where, and you ordered August not to get in touch with me. You made that decision for me. For both of us.”
Silas pushed his chair back and stood up. “I did it to protect you.”
“Protect me?” Elle scoffed. “From what? From knowing that someone still cared about me?”
“Because I didn't want you to have to come back here.”
“It was not your choice to make!”
“Maybe not, but I made it anyway.” Silas walked around the desk and stood just a few steps away.
“Two years after you left, August came to me and asked for my permission to contact you.
I saw how torn up he was, how much guilt he was carrying.
But I also knew that if he reached out, you'd have to deal with all the ugly memories tied to this pack.”
“So you thought it was wise to make me believe that my brother never cared?”
“I thought it was wise not to interfere with the life you built, and I was right. Take a look at what you have achieved in these years. You got a job, made some friends, built a life you were happy about. Would you have been able to achieve all of that if August showed up with all the pack drama?”
Elle wanted to protest. She wanted to say that she would have created that life. But a little part of her wondered if Silas made the right decision after all.
If August had reached out, would she have been strong enough to maintain her boundaries? Or would she have fallen back into her old patterns, letting the pack's opinion of her define who she was?
“You had no right,” Elle said firmly. “You're not allowed to make decisions on my behalf. Just like you had no right to drag me back here and force me into a bond.”
“I know I have deprived you of your choices. I realize that I have been bossy and domineering. But Elle, I was only trying to do the best I could do.”
“You did what you considered the best,” Elle corrected. “There's a difference.”
“You're right. There is.” Silas took a step closer. “And by the way, I am sorry. I should have allowed August to do what he wanted and let you decide on your own.”
The unexpected apology threw Elle off-balance. She was ready to hear him justify his actions. Not to admit his faults.
“When did you find out where I was?”
“Same time as August. Two years after you left. He was desperate to get in touch with you.” Silas's expression softened.
“I asked him where you had been living, what you had been doing. He informed me that you had an apartment, a job in a diner, that you were apparently doing alright. So I told him to leave you alone.”
“You did not want to know more about my life?”
“No.” Silas met her eyes. “Because had I known more, I would have been tempted to show up and apologize, or I would have added insult to injury. So I instructed August to leave you in peace. I thought I was giving you freedom.”
“Freedom does not mean abandonment, Silas.”
“I know that now.”
They stood in the office, staring at each other, the room filled with everything they couldn't say.
They were facing each other with things to say that were not said. Elle felt her anger conflict with something softer that she didn't want to think about.
“Did you ever ask August about me?”
Silas hesitated. “Sometimes. Not often. I did not wish to appear—” he paused, apparently at a loss. “I did not want to appear to be obsessed with the girl I had rejected.”
“But you were. You thought about me.”
“Every day,” Silas admitted. “But I never acted on it because I thought it was what you needed.”
Elle opened her mouth to answer, to say he was mistaken, that she needed to have somebody with her during those trying times.
But then the world tilted.
Her vision became blurred, and images flashed through her mind in quick and disjointed flashes. She saw a bright golden thread, and her magic was dormant like a coiled snake waiting to strike.
And suddenly she understood. The magic would work only when the mate bond was complete. When she and Silas completed it by having sex.
The vision showed her what followed. Her magic growing and becoming something useful and powerful. The gift of being able to see the past and the future as well.
All these could happen if she had sex with Silas.
Elle gasped, her eyes snapped open, and her legs shook. Strong arms grabbed her before she fell.
“Elle!” Silas's voice sounded muffled and so far away. “Elle, stay with me. What happened? Was it another vision?”
Elle blinked and shook her head. She felt dizzy and suddenly weak.
“I'm okay,” she managed. “Just... give me a second.”
Silas picked her up and took her to the couch in his office. Then he rested on his knees, his eyes concerned.
“What did you see?” he asked.
Elle's heart raced. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't own up to the fact that her magic was attached to their mate bond, that the only way in which they could release the full potential of her powers is by sleeping with him.
Because mentioning that to him would either cause him to push her to seal the bond in the interest of the investigation, or he would feel guilty about the bond being formed in the first place. In any case, it would complicate everything.
“Nothing clear,” Elle lied. “Just flashes. Like before.”
Silas studied her face closely, and Elle knew that he knew she was not telling the whole truth. But he didn't push.
“You need to rest,” he said. “These visions must be sucking your strength.”
“I'm fine.”
“You almost fainted.”
“I got dizzy.”
A little smile tugged at Silas's mouth. “You're the most stubborn woman I've ever met.”
“Good. Perhaps you will cease making decisions on my behalf, then.”
“Come on, let's go.”