Chapter 57 #2
“That’s what I was told, too,” Kali explains. “But I want to be bothered. I needed to know. I needed to help. Our sons and Lily didn’t know where their dad and grandpa were. This is so fucked.”
“We can’t change it,” I state the obvious for both our sakes.
“I know.” She sighs.
“They’re back now. What does holding a grudge solve?”
Kali punches the sky. “Ugh! I know you’re right. I do… But fuck… This is a lot. I don’t usually get this worked up.”
“But you’re hurt, and instead of crying, you’re angry.” I get it. I do.
She shoves my shoulder playfully. “Get out of my head.”
I chuckle. “The sex was good, though. Wasn’t it?” From what I hear, makeup sex is the best.
“Yesss…” She hisses dreamily, then abruptly stops walking and grabs my arm. “Wait. Did…” Her mouth hangs open.
Not wanting to make this weird. I nod just once and do my best not to smile like a fool. “We did.”
“Oh! Why didn’t you tell me? How was it?... Wait… Is that weird? I shouldn’t ask that.”
“Of course, you can ask.” I chuckle. “It was good. Really good.”
Kali claps her hands together and does a little dance on the sidewalk. “That’s how it’s supposed to be. I’m so fucking happy for you!” She bumps her shoulder against mine.
I bump hers right back. “Even if I’m gonna be your kids’ stepmom? How’s that for strange?” I tease, showing her my ring. We pause to look at it, do a little oohing and awing like I’ve seen in movies, then continue our stroll.
“I’m happy for you, and I have no room to talk anyhow. I married my ex-father-in-law. As long as we’re friends, that’s all I care about… So, where’d Dark run off to?”
“To talk to Abby.”
“Ah.” Kali bobs her head. “That’ll be a rough one.”
“I figured.”
“So, how’s Dee?” she asks to change the subject, and I love her for it. I don’t wanna think about what’s going on at Abby’s or talk any more about technically losing my virginity, even if we know it’s a silly social construct. It still happened.
Dark
Sitting on the edge of Abby’s blue couch, which used to be our couch, I clasp my hands together and try my fuckin’ hardest to keep my anger in check, given I’m Abby’s emotional punching bag. I deserve it. I’ve always deserved it.
“You left me again! Then you introduce her to our daughter without talking to me about it? What the hell?” Abby rages, pacing the living room.
“None of this was planned. I didn’t wanna be gone that long. I almost died.”
“Then you should have died,” she screeches.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Sure, I do. I hate this! I hate you!”
“I deserve that.”
“You need church. You need forgiveness.”
“If church makes you happy, Abby, I’m happy for you. But I don’t believe in all that shit.” She knows how I feel about religion.
“It’s not shit! It will help us. As a family.”
“We aren’t a family like that,” I explain calmly. “We never have been.”
“You used to love me!”
“I still love you. But it’s not like that.”
“Because you met a fat, ugly, bald bitch.”
Oh. Lovely. This is sure as shit not what I wanna deal with. “Abby, I get you’re angry, and that’s fair,” I reason, tone firm but friendly. “But don’t you dare say that heinous shit about my wife.”
“Your wife?!” she shrieks. “Your wife!? You married her?”
“I will be.”
Spiraling out of control, Abby marches over to a book on the end table, picks it up, and throws it at my head.
I bat it away, and she screams. Tears stream down her cheeks as she continues to lose it, and I don’t stop her.
She’s been through a lot. Between her screwed-up childhood, meeting me, and dealing with all my shit, she needs a release.
I’d tell her Jesus ain’t the person to give her that.
Neither is that man she’s been dating. But that’s not my place.
We’re not together. Not that we ever really were.
My heart was never in it, and she’s had to bear that.
Once she’s petered out, Abby collapses onto the couch beside me, and I wrap my arm around her shoulder to comfort her.
Abby leans into me and cries. It breaks my heart that I broke hers.
I wish I could change some of the stupid shit I did.
But I wouldn’t be here, changed and all that, had I not traveled this path.
We wouldn’t have Lily, either. I don’t regret meeting Abby or having my daughter.
I could never regret that. My only regret is not letting her go sooner.
“I’m sorry I threw a book at your head,” she blubbers, rubbing her nose against my pec.
I chuckle. “You’ve thrown worse.”
“Only a knife.”
“Twice.”
“Oh. That’s right… I am… I am glad you’re home.”
“Me, too.” I pat her shoulder.
“Iris seems nice.”
“How do you know?”
Abby looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes. “I buy flowers from her shop sometimes. I think she knows it’s me, but she doesn’t say anything.”
Well, shit, that’s not what I expected. Regardless, she can’t be actin’ like this.
To set boundaries once and for all, I gently push her off of me. “I meant what I said, Abby. You can’t say that kinda shit.”
Bobbing her head, she wipes her eyes. “I know. I… I’m…Ugh… jealous. That’s all it is. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I hum in agreement. It was wrong. “We’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
“I know.”
Grabbing my cane, I stand, and she walks me to the door, where I wrap her in a one-armed hug and peck her forehead. “Give me a few days, then I wanna show Lily where I’ll be staying. I got her a cat.”
“Okay,” she mutters, eyes downcast as I push the screen door open.
“If you need anything, just ask. I mean it. I’ll be getting a new phone soon. Until then, you can talk to Pops, Kali, or even Iris. They’ll know how to get a hold of me.”
Shoulders slumped forward, Abby nods once and sees me out. It sucks leaving her like this, but there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Sure, I pay most of her bills, and shit like that, but that doesn’t do much for torn-up insides. Those take time to heal.
When I return to the van, I find my daughter and father in the back, but no Kali or Iris.
“They went for a walk,” Lily says and pats the spot beside her for me to sit.
Gritting my teeth through the ache, I climb in and kumbaya with my kid and our new cat.
Lily chats our ears off, and I’m happy for it.
It’s been too damn long. Pops must be feelin’ the same way when he flashes me a small smile as Lily goes on about that same girl from the pool she had issues with last year.
Before too long, our women return, and we all head inside without Sal.
Kali offers to let us stay for a movie, and we spread out in the living room.
Iris in my lap on the chair, Kali and Pops on the couch with Lily.
We eat popcorn and watch The Princess Diaries.
Apparently, Lily loves it, and while it might not be my thing, having most of my family here is the perfect ending to the day.
Iris passes out by the end, and Pops helps me carry her out to her truck so I can drive us home.
When we pull into the driveway, I do my best not to wake her as I struggle to carry her into the house. I swear a lot. The pain is unreal. But I make it, just barely, and lie in her bed where she cuddles against her pillow.
I lean over and kiss her temple. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Iris’s soft, mumbled reply has me grinnin’ as I pull the blankets we forgot to wash over her. I guess we’ll need to get to that tomorrow. Just as I plan to make us breakfast. Then figure out what’s next for me, for us. Maybe Iris will let me move in. Maybe she won’t be ready.
Needing another shower, I hobble into the bathroom and take my time under the hot spray.
I don’t bother getting redressed, given that I didn’t bring my clothes with me from the van, so I dry off and slip into bed beside my woman.
She cozies up to me, and damn if it doesn’t do crazy shit to my heart to have her here all warm and soft.
“Dark?” she rasps in that adorable, sleepy voice.
Settling down in the bed, I rest her head on my pec, right over the scar she made the day she stabbed me with those damn chopsticks. “Yes?”
Iris nuzzles her cheek there. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me, too.” Hugging her up tight, I kiss the top of my woman’s head. “Now get some sleep. I’m not goin’ anywhere. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She yawns.