16. Dimitri
16
Dimitri
November
M y phone buzzes with a message, but I don’t care to check it. Why bother? It’s not from her. It’s never from her. It hasn’t been for four months and twenty-eight days…but who’s counting?
“Another full house tonight, boss,” Alexei announces as he walks into my office. “I’ve got your suit and mask here.”
I glance at the bag before refocusing on the invoices and account statements in front of me on the desk. “I won’t be attending.”
Alexei freezes for a brief second at the clothes rack before he spins around. “What? What do you mean you won’t be attending?”
“As in, I will not be there,” I explain as if I’m speaking to a child who needs layman’s terms.
“You’re joking. Right?”
I set my pen down and give my second my undivided attention. “When do you know me to joke?”
Alexei shrugs. “You joke occasionally.”
“I have too much work to complete.” It’s a half truth. There is a lot on my plate that can easily wait until tomorrow, but that’s not the reason for my absence tonight. If I go, the masquerade theme of the night will just remind me about how Gabriella isn’t there. And I’m reminded about that enough as it is…I don’t need more of it.
“Look, Dimi, anyone with eyes can see you’ve been stressed for the last few months, and I assume it’s because whatever girl you were fucking is no longer wetting your cock. Maybe it’s time you reached out to Ana. She misses you, you know? Not that I’m complaining. I’ve been enjoying her increased need to impress me lately. It’s almost like she’s afraid I’ll toss her away too.” I watch as he plops down in the chair across from me, a sly smile growing on his lips. I can already feel my eyes rolling, because once the fucker settles, it’s nearly impossible to get him to leave. “Now, tell Uncle Alexei what happened.”
I could lie. It would be so easy. I've had enough practice that it’s like breathing by now. I could make up a story about Gabriella, but it feels wrong to do that. It feels like it would be a disservice to the first real thing in my life since I went undercover. The truth about what we shared deserves to be protected. And when the day comes where this entire mission comes to a head, I will do everything to keep her protected from the blowback. “Maybe I will take Ana back. I’m sure she misses my big pierced cock after having suffered your tiny sausage link for so long.”
Alexei snorts before he sighs, realizing he’s going to get nothing from me. I really wish I could tell him about the entire shit show my life has turned into since July. About Anton…about Gabriella…about the baby. But I can’t. Just like how I couldn’t be with Gabriella when she went through the most difficult and terrible thing a woman should ever have to experience. We both lost something more than each other that day. We lost something neither of us knew was there until it was already gone. Something I didn’t even know I wanted until it was too late.
It destroyed me to leave when she told me to go. I wanted to fight back and say no. I wanted to take her over my knee and spank her ass raw until she took every word back. But I saw the devastation on her face. The pain, the grief, the loss…the utter defeat. And I knew there wasn't anything I could do for her. She didn’t want my help. Not after I failed to give her what she needed in her time of need. Not then and not now.
And the worst part of it all was that I couldn’t even tell her why. I couldn’t tell her why our relationship had to remain a secret. I couldn’t tell her that it goes far beyond me being a Bratva captain. Sure, if it was just that, her family would eventually understand and agree once they saw how happy she was with me. But something tells me that being an undercover FBI agent would present a far bigger problem that they couldn’t overlook.
As terrible a thing as it was to say, Gabriella was right. That losing the baby was a blessing. It was the cruel wake-up call I needed to clear my head and set my priorities straight again. But between checking on her whereabouts and watching her through the cameras I left in her house, I’m not doing a very good job about it.
Maybe one day the attraction will fade, the desire will dissipate, and she’ll become nothing more than a distant memory of a time in my early career.
Maybe.
But unlikely.
“I need to finish this month’s books and then I’ll come join you,” I tell Alexei, hoping that within the hour he’ll be so shit faced, he won’t even notice my absence.?
Alexei leaves me alone and when he does, the silence of my office presses down on me. Needing something to distract my mind, I reach for my phone, intent on opening the app to Gabriella’s cameras. I must be a glutton for pain and punishment because seeing her hurts as much as it relieves me too. Before I can pick up my phone though, Sergei enters my office.?
“Volkov,” he says in his normal way of greeting, his voice rough from years of smoking.
“Pakhan.” I lean back in my chair and fight the urge to be tense in his presence. The man trusts me, which will be his downfall in the end, but he’s also not stupid. He has a unique skill of picking up on human tells. The way eyes flick toward objects or people when they lie or feel guilty. The way a person will fidget or grow restless. It’s something that has helped him become one of the most powerful men in Miami. Too bad for him. I’m also highly trained in that skill.
For example, I know there’s something worrying him from the way he moves, from stroking his facial hair to his thinning hair on top of his head. When he starts pacing in the middle of my office, I know I’m right. “What is it?”
“My idiot brother.”
“What did he do now?”
Ever since the O’Leary girl disappeared back in April, he’s been a loose cannon growing more and more unhinged. He’s either on drugs or drunk and often it’s both. The only positive to his shit show meltdown is that he’s left the business alone. He hasn’t been to a meeting in over two months, and it’s been oddly…peaceful not having decisions second guessed.
“Heard from the manager at Paradise that Igor’s been leaving marks on the girls there.”
Paradise is one of our premier strip clubs that includes certain allowances. For a little extra, a patron can enjoy more than a lap dance behind the curtain. However, the one rule is no marks on the girls. They spend their time naked, so their bodies need to be in pristine condition. A small bruise here or there is no big deal and not a cause for alarm, so what did Igor do that warrants the manager being concerned?
“What happened?”
“Igor’s got a few favorites there and took a knife to a pair when they didn’t do what he asked. He was drunk and on heroin, but it still took three of our men to subdue him.”
Jesus Christ. “Sergei—”
The older man holds his hand up, silencing me as he interjects. “I know, Volkov. I know what you’re going to say. But he’s my brother. He’s blood. He’s family.”
“Just because he’s family doesn’t excuse his behavior. You know this. What would you have done to any other man who behaved the same way?”
“Punished him.”
“Exactly.”
Sergei stops his pacing and braces his arms on the back of the chair in front of my desk. He bows his head, sighing hard in defeat. It’s odd. In this last year, I’ve noticed a decline in the old man. Like something heavy weighs on his mind and it’s affecting his physique. There are more gray hairs and lines on his face. I’m beginning to think the time I have left undercover is coming to an end sooner than I realize. I just need to gather the information Ford wants before then.?
“What would you have me do?”
It’s not uncommon for Sergei to approach me for advice on business matters, but personal? That rarely happens. “Send him to a rehab facility. Or, hell, back home to Russia even. Either way, he needs to get clean.”
Sergei sighs hard again. “I’ll speak with him tonight.” He stands straight and adjusts his suit. His eyes drop to the books on my desk. “I trust everything is going well otherwise?”?
I nod and keep my answer vague. “Better than well.”
“Excellent. That’s what I like to hear. If only you were family, Dimitri.” He turns toward the door before he stops and peers over his shoulder, his dark gaze twinkling with an idea. “You know. Sophia is away on vacation, but when she returns, maybe we can change that.”
It takes every ounce of restraint and willpower to keep my face neutral and my eyes even. Sophia is his only child and the Bratva law refuses to hand the Pakhan seat to a woman. He hoped that her marriage to Michael DiAngelo would produce an heir, but the man turned out to be sterile. A whole other shit show I won’t get into, but now the younger brother, Raphael, is heir, and after the wedding in April, the tension between the Russians and Italians has been…strained to say the least.
Don’t get me wrong, Sophia is a beautiful woman. Tall and blonde with blue eyes. But the moment she opens her mouth, she morphs into a spoiled and entitled brat with nothing but air between her ears. If she heard what Sergei had just suggested, she would be thrilled. I’m not blind. The girl has had a crush on me from the moment she first met me. Being married didn’t stop her from showing it, either.
I nod my head at Sergei and prepare to lie through my fucking teeth. “I’d be honored, Pakhan.”
He leaves and I count to ten to ensure he’s really gone before I lean forward and drop my head to the desk. Resting my forehead there, I close my eyes and try to gather my thoughts and focus my mind. It feels like I’m standing on the edge of something perilous, something too big and deep to see the bottom of, something that will inevitably end in blood and death.
I need to get laid. Sex helps clear my mind, but I haven't had the time or desire since Gabriella. Not even Ana in a brown wig could tempt me.
I miss her. I miss the real thing. Miss the moments we spent together. Even the innocent ones like lying in bed, just stroking her hair and writing words on her back that she would hen have to guess. Like helping her study, watching movies with her, making dinner with her, walking along the beach with her at night…
I just miss her.
My phone buzzes again. With growing frustration, I sit up and reach for it. Intent on answering it by threatening the life of the caller but freeze when I see the name.?
Angel
I blink several times like it’s a hallucination. It has to be my mind playing tricks on my eyes because I was just thinking of her.
But it’s not. It's real.
I swipe the green button and hold the phone up to my ear.?
“Gabriella?”
She doesn’t respond. I only hear muffled sounds, like her phone is in her pocket. My heart drops to my stomach. It was just a butt dial.?
Still, I ask again, “Gabriella? Are you there?”
“Where is she?” a faint voice asks, and it takes me a moment to realize it belongs to Patrick O’Leary.
“Who?” That sounds like Enzo. The DiAngelo brothers best friend. His voice is a little more clear. He must be standing close to Gabriella.
“Don’t play dumb with me, boy. My worthless daughter.”
“She’s with Michael.” A rush of relief floods through me at the sound of her voice. It’s clear and strong, just like her.?
I throw the phone on speaker and then mute myself so no one can hear me as I stand. Grabbing my bulletproof vest, I quickly strap it on before holstering my guns and extra clips to it. As I reach for my phone, ready to locate her, the unmistakable sound of a gunshot rings out from the speaker, followed by Gabriella’s terrified scream.