23. Gabriella
23
Gabriella
New Year’s Day
Shortly after Midnight
I t’s hard not to be jealous of your family when they have the freedom of being so open with their partners in front of others. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them all. Finding their soul mates, their other halves…it’s something that should be celebrated and shared with their loved ones. I just wish I could do the same. Especially during the holidays, as it’s my favorite time of the year. I want nothing more than to put gifts with Dimitri’s name under the tree, decorate cookies with him, and wear matching pajamas on Christmas day. And when the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve, I wanted the chance to kiss him in celebration.
But that didn’t happen.
No.
Instead, my family experienced a devastating loss before Christmas that shattered our festive spirit and would leave a lasting impact on future holidays. Dominic’s death was a cruel and terrible shock to the family. I’ve always known my family leads a dangerous life. Crime breeds it. Calls for it. But I’m not involved in that side of the family business. I never have been. I never wanted to be. And I think because of that, on some level, I pushed the knowledge of the dangers to the back of my mind and locked the truth behind a steel door.
I wasn’t there when the Triads dumped my cousin’s beaten and broken body at the front gate in a bloody heap. Something I will regret for the rest of my life. Not being there for him when it mattered most. Not being there to hold his hand, to touch his face, to whisper my love and goodbyes…
Lily, Raphael’s fiancée, is a doctor with emergency training. She did everything right, everything she could, but there was nothing she could have or anyone else could have done that would have saved him.
But before my family could get their revenge on the Triads for Dominic’s death, Xiao took Lily and their daughter, Mei, hostage. He even tried to kill them both and my older brother Raphael, too. In the end, though, Xiao met his demise and rests forever on the ocean’s bottom. But just because he’s dead doesn’t mean the fight’s over. Before he died, he took responsibility for being behind the trafficking rings that Rose and Lily were victims of but also confessed that there is someone higher up pulling the strings.
“Hey.”
I look up and see Rose approaching. She’s alone but not empty-handed.
“Here.” She holds out a tall glass of champagne to me. “Thought you might need it.”
I accept the glass and take a generous sip of the crisp, sweet drink. “Thanks.”
Rose leans against the railing of the dock overlooking the dark water before she takes a deep breath and sighs.
“Everything okay?” I ask her.
“Of course,” Rose answers with a smile. “I just needed some air, that's all.”
I nod, understanding where she’s coming from. It’s the same reason I came outside, too. Being unable to celebrate with the one person I want kind of puts a damper on the entire night festivities.
“Everything okay with you?” she asks, repeating back my question.
I do well to keep my eyes forward because I don’t trust my face right now to match my lie. “Never been better.”
“Yeah.” She sighs, catching on to my dark sarcasm.
We stand for a long moment in silence, enjoying the very thing we both came out here for.
“Can I ask you a question?” Rose breaks the quiet.
“Sure.” I raise my glass to my mouth.
“Are you seeing Dimitri Volkov?”
I pause midair. Clearing my throat, I slowly lower the glass and try hard to keep my voice steady. “Wha-what? Who-who?” And fail.
Rose turns around and leans her back against the railing before leveling me with a knowing look. “Are you seeing that tall, dark-haired, steely blue-eyed thirst trap of a man?”
“Rose-I-I don’t know…I mean-I’m not…”
“It’s okay if you are.”
I sigh. It’s useless to lie to her. Not when she clearly knows the truth and is just asking for the mere fun of watching me squirm. “Fine. Yes, I am.”
She smiles wide and giddy like a kid set loose in a candy store. “I knew it.”
Fear immediately fills me, and I reach out to grasp her arm. “Wait. Does Michael know?”
“No.”
I release a heavy sigh of relief. “Okay, good. And you won’t tell him, right? I mean, I know you two don’t keep secrets anymore but—”
Rose places her hand over mine, that holds her arm and squeezes reassuringly. “I won’t tell him. It’s not my secret to share.”
My hand slips from her arm. “Thank you, Rose.”
“But you need to tell him, Gabriella,” she advises me. “And your family, too.”
“I will,” I assure her. “I promise.”
My answer appeases her for now, and I think I’m in the clear until a sly smile tugs her lips up. “So, how long has this been going on?”
“Since last spring,” I confess.
“Holy shit,” Rose breathes. “Are you serious? That long?”
“There were a few months where we weren’t together, but just recently started up again.”
“What happened?”
I look down at my glass and swirl the drink around in it. The memory of my miscarriage is still too painful to remember and share. “We just…weren’t.”
Rose catches on to my reluctance and understands not to push the subject. “How did you two meet?”
“At the Playground . Some friends from school wanted to go out and celebrate. He kind of saved me from being harassed by this man who wouldn’t take no for an answer. After that…I don’t know, we just couldn’t stay away from each other.” I smile as the memories replay in my mind, filling me with an ache to see him. “We know it’s crazy to be together, but we just…work. He makes me smile and he makes me laugh. He challenges me in the best ways, and just…understands me. I don’t know how to describe it.”
“You’re in love,” Rose summarizes.
I turn away from her and snort. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Everything you just said is exactly how I feel about Michael.”
“I can’t be in love with him, Rose.”
“Why not?”
“He’s in the Bratva.”
“So what? I’m an O’Leary and my father tried to kill Michael. You being in love with Dimitri can’t be any worse than that.”
She’s right. Compared to Dimitri and me, Rose’s family drama has us beat.
“Look, Gabriella.” Rose turns to me, and I mirror her gesture. “I love you and I want you to be happy. If Dimitri does that, then you should be with him.”
“What about my family? Michael isn’t Dimitri’s biggest fan if you haven’t noticed.” I saw the nice bruise on my brother’s jaw courtesy of Dimitri.
“Who cares?” Rose shrugs off my concern like it’s no big deal.
“Me,” I answer immediately. “I don’t want Michael to kill him.”
“Michael won’t kill him. Sure, he’ll be angry but when he sees how happy Dimitri makes you, he’ll have no choice but to accept it. And if he doesn’t, well, I’ll be there to distract him.”
“Distract him?”
“With sex.”
I shouldn’t have asked. Shaking my head, I sigh in exasperation. “I want to tell the family, Rose. I do. But Dimitri has reservations. There’s something he’s hiding from me, and he won’t tell me what, but whatever it is, it’s keeping him back from really being together with me. From loving me, the way I…think I love him.”
“Go to him,” Rose urges me. “Tell him you love him. Take it from me. Life is too short to hold something like that back.”
Sharing my story with Rose feels like an immense burden has been lifted from my shoulders, allowing me to breathe again. I didn’t realise how much I needed to confide in someone until the opportunity arose. I trust Rose to keep her promise and not say anything to Michael or anyone else, but I know I can’t expect her to keep it to herself for long. Nor should I ask her to…that wouldn’t be fair to her. No, telling the truth is my responsibility and my time is running out. It won’t be long before someone else figures it out, someone less understanding than Rose, and if that happens…I can’t guarantee they’ll be as accepting as Rose. Or as forgiving for keeping the truth a secret for so long from them.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” the bouncer apologizes as he holds out a large hand to stop me. “We’re at capacity.”
I peer around him at the double steel doors, as if I can see through them to the crowd inside. Of course, the Playground is incredibly busy tonight. It’s New Year’s. But I need to get inside. Capacity or not.
“I need to talk to Dimitri,” I say before correcting myself when I catch the way the bouncer stiffens at my casual use of his boss’s name. “I mean Mr. Volkov.”
“And who might you be?”
Not sure if I should be offended or relieved he doesn’t notice me, but either way, I need to play it safe.
“Angel.”
He scoffs, but still presses a finger to his ear and speaks inaudibly into a small mic hooked to his jacket collar. While he listens to whoever is on the other end reply, he studies me, his curious gaze roaming over my tights and loose tunic. Not at all the attire he’s come to expect to see entering the club.
“Yes, sir,” the bouncer acknowledges before he clears his throat and turns to open the door. “Mr. Volkov is in his office. He said you know the way, Ms. Angel.”
“Right, thank you.” I slip by him, trying not to think about how he probably assumes I’m there for Dimitri’s pleasure. An irritating and bothersome thought.
Stepping inside the club is like walking through the veil between normal and fantasy. A glamorous world opens up before me in a stunning display of shimmering glitter and mesmerizing lights. A mass of bodies moves in time with the bass of the music on the center dance floor. Suspended in the sky, women and men painted in gold and silver dangle from trapezes and giant rings. The atmosphere is intoxicating and addicting, but the scene is not what I’m here for.
As I approach the stairs, I smile to myself, pleased when the men guarding the steps move aside, allowing me to pass. Voices float through the air and come from the open door of Dimitri’s office.
“—hell, Dimitri?” a man’s voice shouts, his words growing more clear the closer I get. “You knew I liked her!”
“You seem to think I had any choice in the matter,” comes Dimitri’s deep voice.
“Well, you could have said no.”
“I did say no.”
“And you, Sophia? Did you say no?”
Sophia? As in my brother’s ex-wife, Sophia Mikailhov?
“I…I wanted to, Alexei,” she answers, confirming my suspicion. “But Daddy was really persuasive and it just makes sense.”
“Unbelievable.” The man, Alexei, sounds distraught and depressed, like a man who’s given up. “It makes sense to be fucking engaged to Dimitri?”
In an instant, my world comes to a sudden and jarring halt. The words hit me like a punch to the gut, leaving me frozen in place, unable to take a breath or move a muscle.
Is this what he’s been hiding from me? Is this the reason behind why he’s been so adamant against revealing our relationship? Because he was already promised to another? Because he’s engaged to the very woman who divorced my brother after he was lied to about being able to have children? How long has he been engaged to her? How long have I been sleeping with a man who warms another woman’s bed? How long have I been dreaming of a future with him? A future that will never be?
“Alexei, wait!” Sophia shouts, her shrill voice sending a jolt to my paralyzed body. Heavy footsteps echo and grow closer. I have maybe seconds before I’m seen. With a quick look around, I spy a dark corner and rush over to press my body against the wall.
Alexei rushes by a few seconds later, his eyes never once shifting in my direction. Sophia follows closely behind, her attention solely on the man. I wait until I hear them head down the stairs before I step out of my hiding spot.
My eyes move between Dimitri’s office and the stairs. I could just leave. It would be so easy. But what would that accomplish? Dimitri will be just as engaged to Sophia tomorrow as he is today. And at least today, I can get my answers.
Decision made, I straighten my back and walk confidently into his office, my head held high.
Dimitri looks up, and a look of panic flashes across his face before he smiles. “Angel.”
No. He doesn’t get to use that fucking nickname. I never want to hear it again. “Is it true?”
The panic returns to his face, and his smile falters before falling away completely. “What did you hear?”
“Are you engaged to Sophia Mikailhov?”
His heavy sigh is all the answer I need, and it’s like a gate slamming shut in my face. Unable to hear another word from his mouth, I spin around, intending to leave.
“Gabriella,” he calls. “Wait! Listen, please.”
I don’t. I can’t stand to hear his excuses.
Behind me, I hear him get up in a rush; the momentum slamming his chair to the floor. He grabs my arm and spins me around before I’m out of the office. My eyes move from his hold on me to his eyes and, for a moment, my anger hesitates at what I see. His expression is filled with agonizing and dreadful pain. Like his betrayal hurts him. The fucking audacity of his damn pride.
“Let me go,” I order him monotonously.
“Gabriella, please. Just listen to me,” he begs.
“No,” I snap back. “You’ve been lying to me. All this time.”
“Gabriella, no. That’s not it.”
I struggle to pull my arm free. “Let. Me. Go.”
“Ang—”
“No! I’m not your angel. I’ve never been your fucking angel.” Hot tears blur my vision before I blink and they run down my cheeks in warm trails. “I’ve just been your toy thing, your conquest, your fun little distraction to please you while you wait to marry her. Why her?”
“Gabriella, I promise you that’s not true.”
“You promise me?” I repeat back before barking out a laugh. “Your promises mean shit to me, Dimitri. Now let me go or I swear to God, I will kill you.”
He must see the threat in my eyes, the raw pain, and anguish I feel feeding the anger because he lets me go. I take a step back as he takes a step forward, his hand still outstretched at me.
“Gabriella, I—”
I know what he’s about to say, and I can’t stand to hear those three words. Not from him and not as a lie to keep me with him.
Spinning around, I run out of the room and rush down the hall like I’m being chased by a predator. Which…in a way, I am. I don’t need to glance over my shoulder to know he’s following me. I can hear his steps echoing behind mine as I hurry down the stairs. Pushing past his guards, I dive into the crowd, hoping the bodies will disguise me. It works because I make it to the front door without being caught. Bursting outside, I don’t even stop to apologize when I crash into a group of girls, which causes them to fall.
“Gabriella!”
As I approach, my car beeps, and I jump inside, throwing it into drive before Dimitri can catch up. It’s a miracle I avoid hitting other vehicles or people, for that matter, as I tear out of the parking lot. I have no destination in mind. My only goal is to get as far away as possible.
I’m turning on the freeway when my phone rings. It’s Dimitri. I hit ignore. He calls again, and I hit ignore again. On his fifth call, I finally answer.
“Leave me alone, Dimitri.”
“Gabriella, if you’ll just let me explain. I’m—”
“Go to hell, Dimitri. You fucking lied to me! You’ve been stringing me along for months. Making me think we could have a future together when all along you’ve been fucking engaged!”
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I struggle to catch my breath, my voice cracking with each forceful shout. With tears streaming down my face, my vision becomes hazy, and I frantically rub at my eyes to clear them.
“You’re upset—”
“Of course I’m upset, Dimitri!”
“And it’s not safe to be driving right now. Pull over and tell me where—”
Growling under my breath, I jam my finger on the end call button, annoyance spiking at his audacity to order me around right now. Not even three seconds later, he’s calling again and this time I let it go to voicemail.
When a notification pops up that he left a voicemail, I consider deleting it without even listening to it. But my stupid, bleeding heart is a dumb, hopeless romantic that takes control of my hand and hits the play button.
“Gabriella, please, I am begging you. Please let me explain what you heard because it’s not what you think, I promise. Tell me where you are. Please, angel, I’ll tell you everything. I swear I will. Just let me come to you, angel. I lo—”
The sound of a horn cuts off Dimitri’s voice and a light fills the passenger side of my car, blinding me. I feel a sharp, jarring impact before the world spins in a dizzying blur of flashing lights and chaos. And then I’m airborne and the sound of metal crumpling and glass shattering blends with my terrified screams. My head slams into the side of the door. Searing pain explodes from the hit. Black overtakes my vision, and I know nothing more.