Chapter Eleven
KNOX
I WAKE the next morning with the tendrils of sunlight peeking over the horizon.
Still somehow feeling wired, I dress in shorts, an old T-shirt, and sneakers.
I don’t always take my phone for a run, but I’m still new to the area, and I know I could easily get lost. I head out into the brightening day.
I work up a good sweat as the sun rises higher.
I watch as more of the city begins to wake in those early hours.
I’m accustomed to only working out in the gym late at night when it’s damn near empty, so it’s an unexpectedly pleasant experience to see other runners out here in morning light.
We give each other quick, breathless nods as we pass.
Once home, I shower again, watching my cum spurt from the tip of my cock and disappear down the drain.
Unfortunately, the image of Raven’s legs thrown back behind her head will not disappear as quickly.
When I leave the bathroom, I check my phone, wondering if Raven has called back with the job offer.
There are no missed texts or calls, but I don’t overthink it.
Via listed all of our phone numbers in the application, even Cash’s, and he wasn’t even at the audition, still feeling too breathless to play even a short set.
There is every chance she called Via or Zeke, wanting to avoid me for a few more hours. So instead, I dial a number.
“Hey, Ma.”
“Knox!” Her voice rings pleasantly through the phone’s speaker.
My mother’s voice has always reminded me of clementines, tangerines, and sunrises, bright, warm, vibrant.
“Hold on, you caught me in…” I hear her shifting around for a moment before it becomes quieter on her end. “I was just finishing up a batch of my latest perfume. It’s good to hear from you. How are you today? How’s Colorado?”
“I’m doing pretty well today. It’s so much drier here than back home, so, strangely, I was able to push through with a longer run today.”
“That’s good, baby. It’s important to stick with the routines and hobbies that keep you focused.”
“Yeah,” I agree.
“How’s Cash doing?”
Sighing aloud, I say, “He’s at least not hospitalized anymore, and he’s back home recovering. His breathing isn’t completely back to normal, unfortunately. Baby steps.”
“That’s good to hear. He’s been in my prayers these last few weeks.”
“I’m sure he appreciates it.”
“So what else have you been up to while you’ve been out there?”
I sit down in the window seat. The window faces west, the front yard and mountains visible from my angle. “Actually, we did an audition yesterday.”
“Yeah, and how did that go?”
“Like I said, Cash wasn’t up for going, so it was just the three of us playing. But we still got the gig.”
“Congratulations. When are ya’ll playing?”
“Actually, it’s not a single show. We’ve been hired on as the house band for a local music venue.”
“That’s such good news, Knox! Does it pay well?”
“Well is relative these days. It will keep us housed and fed for the next several weeks if we sign the contract without having to rely on a constant stream of other shows and events.”
Never one to miss the true point in any conversation, Ma says, “Oh, I’m so happy to hear that. But what’s this about if you sign the contract? Are you thinking it’s not the right move?”
Last night everything felt so right, like a pleasant midnight hallucination. But in the light of a new day, some of my other doubts have started to creep in. The lyrics that came so naturally and felt so truthful last night seem cheesy and juvenile now.
God, it reads like bad poetry if I’m honest.
Did it even make sense to sign a multi-month contract?
For the longest time, I thought we were going to be the next great rock crossover band with real staying power.
I thought by 37 I’d be a well-established and equally well-respected musical powerhouse.
I wanted it all. The labels, the tours, the awards.
The sold-out shows in massive amphitheaters and the interviews focused on the music.
I wanted to be mentored by the living greats and stay relevant long enough to bring up the next generation of musical talent.
Now I’m not sure I want that anymore. These days, it feels like enough just to keep my head above water.
I sigh.
“Well, when I agreed to come out here, I only thought it would be for a few days. But what are you and Unc going to do if I’m not there for the next two or three months?”
“Your Uncle Garth and I can take care of ourselves and each other. He’s got enough hands to keep everything moving through harvest season. You know that as well as I do. And as for me, I’ll be just fine, too.”
“But, Ma,” I object, “Your business is just starting to really pick up. Don’t you want me there to help with fulfillment?”
Ma pauses and a quiet stretches between us. I hear her television through the speaker, her favorite daytime host’s voice almost as familiar to me as her own.
“Knox, you know I can call anyone in this town, and they would come help if I got overwhelmed. And your Aunt Aggie has been here just about every day since you left. She’s been having a ball trying out new smell combinations.
It sounds like you might have a chance to play music again, at least for a little while. ”
“Yeah…”
I’m honestly more intrigued by the possibility of seeing Raven again than the prospect of playing several nights a week again.
It takes a certain kind of stamina to give the Tuesday night crowd just as good a show as the Saturday folks.
I haven’t had to play like that since before everything that happened.
“What is it?” Ma asks.
“No, no. You’re right. It’s just been a while for me. Zeke and Via, they are as tight as ever, but I almost sound like an appendage when we sing together.”
“That’s only because you haven’t played with them in so long. You haven’t even really picked up your guitar in over a year. Give it some time, you’ll find it again.”
I smile, feeling soothed by her words and encouragement.
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Ma. I’m going to get off the phone and talk to Zeke and Via, make sure we’re all on the same page about signing that contract.”
“I’m proud of you, Knox.”
“Thanks, Ma. I love you.”
“I love you. We’ll talk soon.”
Already feeling better, I hang up, leaving the bedroom to find the others. I find Via alone in the kitchen, laptop open on the counter.
“Oh, yes! Perfect timing,” she says when she sees me.
“Now that’s my kind of greeting.”
Via rolls her eyes, the action reminding me of Raven.
“I literally just got off the phone with Danica. We got the job!”
I smile, happy for the general confirmation but secretly disappointed Raven didn’t call me.
“Go us.”
“Thank God. I was so nervous. I thought we did a pretty good job at her sister’s wedding, but then she didn’t even acknowledge us really yesterday.”
“I’m guessing she just wanted to keep things fair for the other bands. She probably didn’t want them to be put off by some preserved advantage we had.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m still a little surprised you wanted to sing Love At First Sight. It’s not your usual choice, and we barely rehearsed it.”
“True,” I acknowledge. “But rule number one for any successful band is know thy audience.”
“I guess you’re right. Last-minute song changes aside, it seems to have worked. Danica said she is going to send the contract over in a few minutes.”
Via’s posture shifts in her seat, her back straighter, eyes narrowing in thought.
“We can look at it as a group, decide if we want to make any changes, or like it as is. She mentioned that we’ll start next Monday, but in the meantime, we probably need to start discussing a real rehearsal schedule. We need to create a good announcement video—”
“Announcement video?”
“Our fans are going to know you’re back. We’re not Knox Knight and the Nightshades without Knox Knight.”
“Via…” I groan, already overwhelmed by her ability to create lists of tasks out of thin air.
“Something low stakes,” she promises, “Just the four of us on a couch letting people know we’re going to be playing some local shows, and they can come see us. No pressure.”
Which is how I end up on the couch between Zeke and Cash with two ring lights pointed directly at my face and a mini microphone pinned to a new outfit. I seem to be the only one with complaints, but she’s pleased after the third take, so she leaves to edit and post it.
“That woman of yours…” I nearly groan at Cash.
He simply laughs. “I know better than to get in her way when she’s got an idea in her head. I can’t believe you haven’t learned that yet.”
“Fair point,” I say, standing from the couch and stretching.
The rest of the day passes quietly between us.
Cash and I catch up on a few episodes of a shared favorite show.
Zeke runs out at midday of his favorite kind of gummies, so he decides to make a supplies trip out of it, noticing we are also low on some foodstuffs.
I join him, wanting to get out of the house and see more of Denver.
The restless midday energy of the city wants to fuse with my own.
It’s odd. I’ve been to dozens of large cities, some much larger than Denver, but it’s like I’m experiencing city life for the first time all over again.
The light seems brighter here, and all my senses take in the landscape.
Five years of avoiding most places and people have made me unusually excited by all this place has to offer.
Sunlight glints off glass skyscrapers and spills across the pavement.
Cyclists weave through traffic, passing the buses, cars, and pedestrians at speeds that make me nervous.
The air is thick and layered with sound.
Snippets of conversation, the rhythmic tap of footsteps, the rumble of passing vehicles.
The distant wail of a siren is somehow always fading and approaching.