Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
RAVEN
S etting the last bag of trash by the back door, I sag against the wall.
I knew this job would be a lot, but oh my, do the people of Mystic River sure know how to party.
There wasn’t a single dull moment tonight.
Camden finished up in the kitchen an hour ago and went home, which apparently isn’t far.
Must be nice.
An exhausted groan makes its way through my limbs and out of my mouth. My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I pull it out.
Dahlia: How’s it going working for two hunks of man meat?
Shaking my head, I laugh to myself. I shouldn’t have told her about Griffin and Knox the other day.
Me: Just fine and dandy.
Dahlia: By “fine and dandy,” do you mean you get to admire up close just how fiiiiiiine their dandies are?
Me: What kind of euphemism is that? What does that even mean?
Dahlia: Don’t gatekeep. You know exactly what I mean. Dandy. Dick. Cock. Schlong.
Dahlia: Wait…did you get double-dandied?
Me: Now you’re just saying words.
Dahlia: Don’t play dumb.
I sigh through my nose and allow myself to admit the fears that have been circling my mind.
Me: They’re different. I don’t know what to do with that. An asshole, I can handle. Sexy, protective men with a sweet side? This is new territory, and they have secrets.
Dahlia: Hey, I know what we lived through was shit, and it’s warped how we view men in general. But I promise you, they’re not all bad. There are good ones who will wrap you in their arms, and suddenly the world won’t seem so bad.
Me: Is that how Declan makes you feel?
Dahlia: …
Me: You don’t have to answer that.
Dahlia: Yeah. He does.
She’s right. They’re not all bad, and I’m learning that firsthand.
Looking back at the bags of trash, I force myself to pick them up to toss in the dumpster.
I shouldn’t have asked to work a double today.
But after my… rendezvous with Knox in the closet, I needed to work off the tension in my body, and Kat was more than happy to hang out with Noah a bit longer.
And I can’t even touch what happened with Griffin on my doorstep yesterday.
Not to mention, my panties were uncomfortable as fuck all day today. I should’ve gone home during my break and changed them, but part of me wanted the reminder of how hot it got between Knox and me.
Griffin appears at my side out of nowhere, causing me to jump and drop the trash.
“Jesus Christ! I’m gonna put a bell around your neck!”
He smirks. “Does it come with a collar?”
My jaw becomes unhinged.
Did he just imply he’d wear a collar for me? Sexually? Sans clothing? What am I supposed to say to that?
Griffin keeps his smirk perfectly in place and says, “Don’t worry about those. I’ll take care of them.”
“Are you sure? We finished up everything else in there.” We silently worked in tandem, sweeping and mopping the floors, cleaning up the bar, wiping down the tables, putting all the billiards back in order, and restocking the bar.
“Yeah, I got this.” He hits me with a wink, effectively incinerating my panties.
I’m going to have to start a stockpile if I’m going to spend much more time around these Montgomery men, and seeing as how I work for them…
I’m fucked.
Blowing a breath through loose lips, I hang my head. I’m tapping into my energy reserves and bleeding them dry. I’ve had it worse several times before. This is nothing. But God, I’d give just about anything to be magically transported to my bed right about now.
“If you’re sure, then I’m going to head out.” My sneakers slap against the tile as I put one foot in front of the other.
“Hey! And have Benny walk you out to your car,” Griffin instructs as he easily loads his thick arms with the bags of trash.
Hot damn. I’m a sucker for a man with big arms.
“Sure thing,” I confirm half-heartedly.
“I mean it. Don’t be a brat, Sunshine,” Griffin emphasizes.
“I said I would, didn’t I?” I reply with an ounce of sass.
When I step through the kitchen door, I notice right away that Benny is no longer in sight.
It’s fine. This is the twenty-first century. I can walk myself to my damn car. I’m an independent woman. A tired independent woman, but independent, nonetheless.
I snag my purse from where I left it behind the bar and trudge across the hardwood and out into the open air.
The temperature hasn’t dropped much since night took away the sun, but the sky is blanketed in bright stars.
I let the heat fill my lungs as I revel in the clarity in the air. I missed this about Texas.
A few steps into the gravel parking lot, and all the oxygen is stolen from my lungs. I pause, frozen in place. A cold sweat coats my skin, and every part of my body begins to shake.
A small figure waits for me by my car. He’s what I imagine my son will look like in a few years, except he’s missing the scar, and his eyes are an exact copy of my own. I hold in a whimper as he steps into the moonlight.
Noah Kelly.
The crown of his Kingdom Hearts shirt reflects in the moonlight. Noah raises his arm toward me, revealing the belladonna in his hand. He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Everything goes quiet, then his young, innocent voice crashes into me.
“I needed you, Raven. You weren’t there.”
Tears stream down my face, and my lips tremble. “I’m—I’m so sorry,” I somehow manage to choke out.
“Why weren’t you there?” His head tilts to the side as he asks his question, only it doesn’t stop. As his cheek gets closer and closer to his shoulder, blood trickles out from his nose, eyes, and ears.
“You weren’t there,” his voice cascades over and over, the words never ending.
“No!” I shout as his head continues to turn like the hands on a clock.
My legs finally begin to work of their own accord. “No! No! I’m sorry!” My knees slam into the tiny rocks on the ground, slicing into my skin. I reach for his face to correct the contortion, but all I grasp is empty space. He’s gone.
It’s as if he never existed. As if he never lived. As if he never loved.
My voice is hollow. “No, no, no, no, no. Please. I’ll make it right. I tried to make it right.”
“Raven! Raven!”
I failed. I didn’t protect him like I promised I would. I thought I had made it right. I need to make it right.
“Raven, Darlin’. Look at me. What happened?”
A small sniffle and the aroma of vetiver enters my system.
“Knox?”
I finally register his hands cradling my face. Blinking the tears obscuring my vision, Knox’s face comes into view. His brows are deeply furrowed.
Another sniffle. Bergamot and sea salt.
“Griffin?”
“I’m right here, Sunshine.”
Arms envelop my upper body, and I realize I’m sitting on someone’s lap.
“Baby, what happened?” Knox asks again.
How do I answer that? I’m not even sure of what happened. But I know why. I know what I need to do.
Shaking my head to clear the fog, I move to stand back up, but Griffin just tightens his hold. “Absolutely not. You’re staying right here until we make sure that you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I insist.
“I would beg to differ,” Knox argues and makes a pointed look at my knees. A quick glance down, and I find blood dripping down my legs.
Whoops.
“Let’s get her back inside and make sure she doesn’t need to go to the hospital,” Knox directs.
“No!” I refuse a bit more firmly than the situation warrants. “I mean, no. No hospitals, please. I’ll be fine.”
They both give a look of suspicion.
Knox narrows his eyes slightly. “We’ll see.” It’s neither a yes nor a no, but I’ll take it.
Griffin adjusts me in his arms and smoothly rises to his feet.
I startle at the way he does it so effortlessly. “Whoa, hey! I can walk.”
“I told you before, Raven. Don’t be a brat,” he growls.
Sweet Baby Jesus. His grumbly demeanor should negate the shiver that zips down my spine and shoots straight for my core. I was practically catatonic not five minutes ago, and all these two have to do is breathe and my pussy is ready to party.
Something is seriously wrong with me.