CHAPTER 28
I didn’t know why or how, but instead of returning to my lonely tower, I ended up outside.
Worse, in the glen. Our glen. The place where Thorne and I had trained nearly every day for months.
Where I’d learned to face my fears, to face myself.
To finally let others in and trust again.
I’d started to think of this place as a haven, the one spot on this campus that didn’t constantly remind me I didn’t belong.
I was just another student here, not a Mayweather. My time at the glen had been about learning and growing, not protecting my back from threats.
But that was all gone now. That sense of belonging had been fake. A lie. Just like everything else.
The air was bitter cold, matching how frozen I felt inside. Unlike in the great hall, there were no stars or Northern Lights decorating the night sky, no snow gently falling and dusting the ground. Clouds obscured the moon, the threat of a storm heavy in the air as always.
I could barely see, but I didn’t need to. The shadows surrounding me felt like friends tonight, cloaking me in the darkness I so desperately sought. The glen might not feel like a safe haven anymore, but it was the only place that could shield me from prying eyes while I fell apart.
The pain inside me swelled, along with the darkness I carefully kept contained.
Both needed release, and I wasn’t strong enough to keep it all inside anymore.
So I let go. Let go and threw my head back, belting out a scream of pure agony.
As I did, I whipped my hands out and released the darkness, allowing it to explode from me in angry bursts of deadly shrapnel.
I heard the furious magic rip into tree after tree, eviscerating the trunks until they collapsed under the attack and crashed to the forest floor. I kept screaming, frantic to expel the pain I was drowning in, desperate to find relief.
The well of hurt and anger felt endless, and I took it out on the helpless trees, watching the dark outline of one after another succumb to my relentless assault.
I didn’t know how long I expelled the darkness and screamed myself hoarse, but a sudden shriek had me whipping around, my hands glowing dark violet as I prepared to defend myself.
“Easy,” a voice said, the deep timbre scraping across my raw nerves. When I squinted past the glow of my magic and saw a familiar tall shape only yards away, I bared my teeth in a low hiss.
Comet shrieked again and launched into the sky, and I let him go, my sights solely trained on the warlock who’d caused all my pain. Thorne took another step, and I hissed again, crouching into the defensive stance he’d taught me.
He paused, no doubt taking in my unhinged state. I let him, wanting him to know just how furious I was. One false move, and I would attack. Pactum or no pactum, my need for revenge was too strong to control at the moment. He could try to subdue me, of course, but he wouldn’t succeed. Not this time.
I was too enraged, every inch of me burning with a desire that used to terrify me. Not anymore. I wanted to kill. Kill.
“I didn’t do it, Snowflake.”
“Don’t call me that,” I snapped, pointing a glowing finger at him. I needed him to be afraid. Terrified. So he’d leave and never speak to me, never look at me again.
He didn’t even flinch, his face calm and his hands loose at his sides. The nonthreatening posture made me see red. I felt wild. Reckless. Invincible, like no one could touch me. Even him.
It felt good, so good, and I wouldn’t let him take that away from me.
“Admit it,” I said, my voice little more than a growl.
“This was all a ruse, a set up. Right from the start, you wanted to see me fail. It was your family who advocated for my acceptance to Heartstone, who wanted me here so they could get revenge for what I did to Juliana.” When he didn’t respond, I shouted, “Answer me!”
He watched me, watched as I slowly came undone and didn’t even blink. Finally, he replied, “My family voted in favor of your admittance to Heartstone, yes. But—”
“I knew it,” I interrupted, trembling so hard that my teeth clacked together.
“Gran warned me that your family was behind this, but I stupidly let you near me anyway. I let myself feel safe around you. I never should have agreed to the pactum, never should have even come here. This was all a sick elaborate hoax to lure me out of hiding so you could destroy me for good.”
“That’s not true,” he carefully said, as if speaking to a cornered animal.
“You wanted to ruin me, to break me. You said so yourself.”
“Not in the way you’re imagining, Winter.”
“What other way is there?” I exploded. “You pursued me, touched me, stirred awake these needs, these . . . these feelings. I didn’t ask for this.
Didn’t want this. But you took pieces of me anyway.
You broke me apart, and I let you, perversely believing that I owed that to you.
And I would have continued to let you until my life debt was repaid, but then tonight happened, and I finally understood that you didn’t want to destroy just me.
You wanted to see the last of my family’s reputation obliterated in the most humiliating way possible by painting me as nothing but your little whore.
In front of my grandmother. Do you have any idea what that did to me? To her?”
“I didn’t spread that rumor.”
“Enough!” I roared, flinging my hands out, my magic out. It streaked through the darkness and plunged into its targets without mercy. “No more lies, Thorne. Admit that you came out here to drag me back inside so your family can tell everyone what I did to Juliana.”
“What? I would never do that,” Thorne vehemently said, sounding so appalled that I almost believed him. “I came out here to see if you were all right, to comfort you.”
“Comfort me?” I practically shrieked, furious that he wouldn’t drop the ruse.
“You hate me, Thorne. Hate me. Everything you’ve ever done to me was to further your revenge plot, so just stop already.
Stop pretending to care, because I know you don’t.
You only care about winning and seeing me burnt at the stake. ”
“No, I don’t,” he snapped, the words punctuated by a low rumble of thunder. “I don’t hate you, and I don’t want you hurt.”
That knife in my heart twisted again, and I lashed back with far too much emotion, “Stop lying to me. Stop punishing me!”
“I’m not. I’m being completely honest with you, Winter.
And if I’m punishing anyone, I’m punishing myself.
Every second that I’m near you, I’m in pain, but I can’t stay away.
I keep coming back for more like a drug addict desperate for another fix.
You’re my sweet venom, my deadly obsession.
I crave you more than I crave anything, more than I crave winning.
I didn’t want this either, but you’re all I can think about now, and it’s killing me.
Ruining me. When I saw how much that rumor hurt you tonight, I wanted to destroy the entire room until I found who started it and then destroy them.
I still do. The need to protect you is all-consuming. ”
I shook my head, unwilling, unable to believe him. “You’re lying.”
Lightning lit up the sky. “I’m not.”
“Doesn’t matter. I killed your sister, and you’ll never forgive me.”
Another rolling rumble shook the air, this time closer. “It was an accident.”
My breath caught.
When I failed to respond, he took a slow step toward me.
“I believed you were the villain for so long, that you killed my sister for your own revenge against my family, but I don’t believe that anymore.
I can’t. You’ve proved yourself truly remorseful for what happened, and I can see how much her death tears you up inside. ”
He took another step.
“Thorne,” I warned, raising my hands higher to ward him off. “Don’t.”
“Then stop me.”
Lightning forked across the sky again, illuminating his determined expression. Oh, no. He took another step as thunder boomed, vibrating the ground.
“I’ve been hiding my anger behind a steely wall of control for so long.
But then you arrived at Heartstone, and that wall started to crack, allowing my anger to finally come out.
I hated and blamed you for my sister’s death, but I can’t anymore.
” Oh no, oh no. “Juliana loved you, and you loved her.” No, no, no, no, no.
“You don’t deserve to die for something you don’t remember doing, and you don’t deserve my anger any longer.
Juliana would want me to forgive you, so—”
“Don’t,” I weakly whispered.
“I forgive you.” The first raindrop struck my cheek as he closed the gap between us. Unable to move, unable to stop him, I let him grasp my arms and gently lower them to my sides. “I forgive you, because we both need to heal and move on. Because I care. Because I want you to be free of your guilt.”
It was the slight break in his voice, the raw emotion that made the chaos wreaking havoc inside my body start to recede, along with the angry magic at my fingertips.
He forgave me. Forgave me. He cared. Cared. Despite the pain still sharp in my chest, I so desperately wanted to believe him.
Seeing my hesitation, sensing the shift, he slid his hands up my arms to cup my face. Another raindrop fell, then another and another. “Let me show you what you mean to me, Snowflake. Let me kiss you.”
I stopped breathing.
How was this happening? A minute ago, I wanted to kill him, and now this? It was all too much, and I didn’t know what to do.
“You’ll hurt me,” I managed to get out, trembling for a different reason this time, afraid, so afraid that he was going to destroy what was left of me.
“I won’t,” he murmured, sweeping his thumbs over my skin. “You don’t owe me a single thing, but I want this. Let me kiss you, Snowflake. Please. If you want me to beg, I’ll beg.”
I trembled harder, so hard that I gripped his forearms to steady myself. More lightning brightened the sky, revealing his pleading look. I could practically feel how desperately he wanted to kiss me. My lips parted, and his gaze dropped to them, filled with yearning.
“Let it happen,” he breathed, lowering his head toward mine, blocking out the stormy sky until all I could see, all I could smell was him. I dug my nails into his jacket, struggling to breathe, to think. I shouldn’t do this. I couldn’t do this.
“Thorne,” I whispered, begged. “Our families . . .”
“Don’t need to know. No one needs to know but us. Comet is in the trees standing watch. He won’t let anyone see us.”
Why, oh, why did he always know just what to say? My anger was gone, my guard lowering to let him back in, and that terrified the hell out of me. I felt helpless, drawn to him by a force stronger than myself, unable to pull away even if I wanted to. Which I didn’t.
“I promise you’re safe with me,” he whispered reassuringly, stretching his thumb out to catch my bottom lip. I gasped as the slightly rough pad ran over my sensitive skin, immediately awakening a want, a need for more. “Let it happen. That’s all you need to do.”
Let it happen. He made it sound so easy. So uncomplicated. All I had to do was surrender to the kiss. And, oh, how I ached to be kissed by him.
He must have sensed how badly I wanted this, too. I didn’t say a word, but he suddenly knew, knew that I wouldn’t stop him. That I didn’t want to. Because he erased the final inches between us and . . .
Kissed me.