CHAPTER 30
I stared at my foggy reflection, certain I was going to be sick.
This was it. The day of my trial. Ride or die time.
Out of habit, I almost started talking to the image in the mirror, something I did when my emotions were high. She’d always known just how to comfort me in times like these, reminding me that I was stronger than I thought.
But even though it was her older brother in the steamy shower behind me, I stopped myself from speaking out loud. He wouldn’t understand. I didn’t even fully understand why I felt closest to my dead best friend while talking to a reflective surface.
This thing between me and Thorne was still so new and uncertain, and I didn’t want to ruin that by admitting that I talked to Juliana like she was still alive.
I’m scared, I spoke in my head instead, which wasn’t as good but better than nothing. I almost failed my last trial, and I’m so afraid that I’ll fail this one or wind up dead.
No response, as usual.
Feeling tears well in my eyes, I hurriedly blinked them away and finished securing the braid in my hair. Ever since the dam had broken last night, I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from leaking out. I guessed that was to be expected after two years of blockage, but the timing kind of sucked.
Today of all days, I needed to be tough, no weakness allowed.
Tears weren’t weak, but tell that to the students who’d been waiting months for this moment, a moment where they were finally allowed to attack me without punishment.
I couldn’t see the attack coming if my vision was obscured by unending tears.
The shower switched off, and I studiously focused on my outfit, which Oz had picked up for me after my arrival last night.
Used to wearing a skirt and blazer during the day, it felt weird to be dressed so casual.
My yoga pants were black and so was my long-sleeved tee, the only color a silver-stitched H and A crest on the upper left side.
I’d been told enough about my upcoming trial to know that it was physically strenuous, so I was glad for the change in wardrobe.
The shower door opened, and I looked everywhere but in that direction, unused to this level of intimacy.
Sure, I’d seen Thorne naked before, but it felt different between us now.
We’d confessed things, feelings. And we’d kissed, more than kissed.
After what had happened between us last night, taking in all that delicious wet skin fresh out of the shower made our changing dynamic that much more real.
And I wasn’t ready for that yet, not when I had a trial to focus on.
He didn’t seem to have the same sentiment, though.
After I’d slipped out of bed and taken my own shower, he’d joined me in the bathroom, stripping down to nothing before I’d even finished dressing.
At least he hadn’t masterbated in the shower while I was getting ready.
I wouldn’t have been able to focus at all if he’d done that.
As I dropped my braid to let it swing down my back, Thorne came up behind me and picked it up. I tensed, all too aware that his naked dick was inches away from my backside. Didn’t he know what a towel was?
“I like your hair like this,” he commented, his voice still slightly gruff from sleep.
Before I could prepare myself, he wrapped the length around his hand and tugged my head back.
As I naturally fell against his chest with my face tipped up, he leaned down and covered my mouth with his.
Still wet and warm from the shower, his skin melted into mine, instantly making me weak-kneed and pliant against him.
Holy crap, this was dangerous. One kiss, and I was putty in his hands. Literally.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you looked in that dress last night?” he murmured against my lips, the compliment making me warm all over. “You looked even more beautiful when I started to take it off.”
Shock zipped through me, along with a flash of heat that settled between my legs. Was Thorne Hudson flirting with me? Well, this was new. And more than a little distracting.
Thankfully, he had better control over his faculties at the moment, straightening and going about his business like he hadn’t just blown my mind—and made my panties embarrassingly wet.
Struggling to regather my wits, I left the bathroom post-haste, in desperate need of air that didn’t smell like his wet body.
As I entered the dorm’s main living space, Oz and Riku were in the kitchen just like the last two times I’d stayed over.
Comet turned from looking out the living room windows to give me what sounded like a “good morning” chirp.
I gave him a small smile, suddenly wondering how much he’d seen—and heard—last night.
He might look like a bird, but there was a highly intelligent celestial spirit inside that feathered body.
I wanted to be embarrassed by the thought of him overhearing my orgasmic screams, but I was too busy trying to keep my stomach down when I caught a whiff of the catered breakfast spread out on the island.
“Morning, Bambi,” Riku called, holding what looked like a Starbucks drink. Since when did we have Starbucks? “You’re looking all doe-eyed and rested. Here, this is for you.”
I approached the kitchen slowly, taking in Riku and Oz’s relaxed postures and smiles. Something about it creeped me out, and I commented while accepting the drink, “Why are both acting like this?”
“Like what?” Oz asked, still smiling at me pleasantly.
“Like the sun is shining and everything is right with the world.” When they both kept smiling at me like weirdos, my expression flattened, and I reminded them, “I have a trial today.”
“We know,” Riku replied, nudging me to try the drink. “We didn’t want to freak you out.”
Uhh . . .
“Well, now I’m more freaked out,” I muttered, raising the cup to take a tentative sip. Caramel Frappe, my favorite. Except my throat was so tight that I almost choked on it. Pointing my drink at them, I added, “Those smiles are especially freaky, by the way.”
With a sigh, Riku wiped the smile from his face. “Fine, would it help if I confessed that I didn’t sleep a wink last night?”
“Me neither,” Oz admitted.
My stomach soured even more, and I set down the drink. “Um, no, that doesn’t help.”
“Well, it looks like Thorne slept well for the first time in weeks,” Riku commented with a wicked little smirk.
I glanced behind me just as Thorne entered the space, his black slacks riding dangerously low on his hips and his white collared shirt still wide open. Forgetting how to breathe, I took in his sun-kissed, slightly damp skin and marveled at how his muscles moved and flexed with each step.
“Hope you weren’t mad that I sent Yumi to run interference last night. It looked like a fight was about to break out.”
I blinked, realizing that Riku was talking to me. Tearing my gaze from Thorne’s body, I replied, “No, I wasn’t mad. The distraction was needed, so, thank you.”
“But, like, Yumi wasn’t trying to steal your man, just so you know. They’ve known each other for a long time and had a little fling last year, but that’s way over now. It would be like you and me hooking up. Super enjoyable but temporary, you know? Like spring break at a nude beach, or—”
“Riku,” I loudly said. “Shut up.”
Riku closed his mouth with an audible click.
Oz made a choking noise that sounded a lot like laughter. Thorne brushed past me on his way into the kitchen, firmly enough that I knew he’d done it on purpose. It felt like a great big cat had just rubbed up against me, the move purely affectionate—and maybe a bit possessive.
If he considered me his, did that mean he was mine? And if so, for how long?
“You should eat,” he said and dropped a box of doughnuts before me. “You need all the fuel you can get.”
At the reminder of what awaited me in less than an hour, that sick feeling came roaring back.
One look at the gooey doughnuts, and my stomach violently lurched.
I was across the room in a flash, barrelling toward the bathroom.
Dry heaves left me the second I was hunched over the toilet, my whole body trembling like a leaf.
Moments later, I felt the presence of someone behind me.
Unable to stop them, unable to do anything but gasp and choke as tears streamed from my eyes, I felt a large warm hand splay on my back.
Two more bodies entered the bathroom, but I didn’t bother trying to shoo them away.
Not when their presence was the only thing keeping me from spiraling into a panic attack.
“I’m fine,” I said when I could speak again, carefully straightening so I wouldn’t further upset my sensitive stomach. “I’m just a little nervous.”
“It’s okay to admit you’re afraid,” Oz said from the doorway, surprising me. “I was terrified of my first year trials.”
“So was I,” Riku admitted from beside him.
Thorne didn’t say anything, but when I reached up to wipe my face, he gently caught my wrist and turned me around.
As our eyes met, he brushed his thumbs over my cheeks, catching every last tear before saying, “The waiting period before each trial is almost harder than the trial itself. It drains you mentally and emotionally, but once the trial starts, instinct takes over. It’s why I’ve been training you every day, so your reactions under pressure aren’t fear-based.
You’re still learning, but your stamina and control over your magic have increased significantly.
I know you can do this, Winter. You’ve proven that you deserve to be here. ”
He couldn’t have said the more perfect thing. The words were sweet music to my ears and a balm to my battered heart. I’d nearly given up hope of ever hearing those words, and I certainly never thought that Thorne of all people would be the one to say them.
What’s more, I could feel how genuine they were. He hadn’t spoken the words simply to placate me. He meant them.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my gratitude reaching into my core, into the deepest depths of my soul.
He responded by pressing a kiss to my forehead. Not a quick brush, but a lingering one, a kiss that warmed my insides and filled me with reassurance.
“Let’s get some food in you,” he murmured against my skin, and I nodded, fairly certain I could keep it down now.
Now that he’d given me the words, the confidence to face my trial.