Chapter 5 – Thomas
Chapter Five
Thomas
She doesn’t know. I disguised my voice to sound less posh, and I’m nearly certain she doesn’t know it was me. Fuck. Fucking hell, Thomas.
What the fuck did I just do? Why the fuck did I just do that?
See, there’s a reason I need to stay away from women.
I should talk to Sylvia. She would know the right thing to say.
The right thing to do. I can’t tell her who I hurt, but I can tell her that I fucked up again.
She’ll know what to do. Luckily, I sneak away before she can see me, another stupid risk.
If I got caught and dad found out… Dealing with my father would be worse than dealing with any legal consequences, honestly.
When I get downstairs, I try to look normal.
I fix my trousers and my shirt. And then I see Sylvia…
talking to Jude. Has she bloody lost it?
Jude says something to her and she giggles appreciatively, twirling hair around her fingers and giving him doe eyes.
I have a sister, I know women. She’s flirting with him.
That’s a bloody mistake. I cross the room quickly and tap Jude on the shoulder.
“Mate, what are you doing?”
Smug. Just like a fucking Fox.
“I’m talking. What does it look like?”
I hate the look on Jude Fox’s face. He is such a cunt and considering he just slept with Sylvia’s best friend, he has no business trying to get into her pants tonight.
And Sylvia has no business falling for this.
I don’t want to put Clover’s business out there, but Sylvia doesn’t need to get caught up with a player. She’s too pure.
“Hi Thomas,” Sylvia chimes in. She isn’t exactly shy. “We’re still not talking and I’m having a conversation with Jude. So you can run along now.”
“Do you know who you’re having a conversation with?”
“Jude Fox,” Sylvia says. I hate when she takes the piss like this. Fine. If she won’t listen, I’ll address the man directly.
“You hurt Sylvia’s sister. Have some respect.”
“I planned on being very respectful,” Jude says, his gaze never leaving Sylvia.
Sylvia turns her anger on me.
“Thomas, you’re being rude. As usual.”
“It’s okay, Sylvia,” Jude says. “I’ll leave. Maybe he’s hoping to get his cock wet. He deserves a fair shot.”
His response clearly shocks her, but before Sylvia can respond, Jude disappears. Sylvia puts her hands on her hips and then changes her mind about one of her hands and she slaps me.
“Thomas, what is wrong with you?!”
“Lots.”
“We were just talking. I don’t need you freaking out and getting all protective.”
“You’re like a sister to me.”
Sylvia balks, scowling at me. Great. I’m always in trouble with her.
“Oh really? Is that why you bullied me and my friends?”
“I bully my biological sister.”
“That’s not something to brag about. Now what do you want? What the hell was so damned important that you had to interrupt my conversation.”
“Jude’s a monster.”
I know, I’m a bloody hypocrite. But I know my sister and her friend, Amina. They would both want me to look out for Sylvia. Who knows what Jude might plan for her if he gets too close anyway? I don’t want to let Violet down. Dad’s taken that job off my hands already.
“That’s your opinion. And he still goes to our school. I’m a friendly person. I don’t beef with people. I don’t care what Jude did.”
“Christ, Sylvia. Do you have a crush?”
“No! Ew! Thomas, I’m not talking to you about my crushes.”
“Right.”
“Now answer my question. What do you want?”
“Something happened.”
“Wow. Amazing, Thomas. Your incredible and very specific vocabulary strikes again.”
“I mean…”
“Spill! I have better things to do than stand around talking to you.”
“Would it help if I apologized?”
Sylvia rolls her eyes. I should have guessed that earlier. The one piece of advice my father always gave was, “Always apologize. Then buy her jewelry.” Then again, he was giving me advice for cheating, so I don’t know if the applications are universal.
“Yes, you idiot. Obviously.”
“Oh.”
“Well?” Her hands fly to her hips again. Christ. Maybe Sylvia could tame Jude Fox. She has this menacing demeanor when she chooses. Terrifying girl.
“Sorry.”
“Finally. Now what do you want?”
“I think… I want to… hurt someone.”
Sylvia’s hands fall away from her hips and she gives me a stern look.
“You promised you were done with this whole ‘dark urges’ thing.”
I don’t know what possessed me to confess my deepest secret to Sylvia this summer, but weed definitely had something to do with it.
“I know. I know.”
“Who was it?”
Well, I can’t fucking tell her that.
I won’t get the chance anyway. Clover emerges with two friends of hers that I don’t know.
One is a mousy brunette with glasses and the other a tall and lean man standing far too fucking close to Clover for my liking.
Who the hell is this cunt? He must be in the other dorm, because I haven’t met him yet and I immediately loathe him.
“Roger! Molly!” Sylvia squeaks excitedly, wrapping her arms around both people. At least I know their names now. Clover glances at me but she doesn’t keep my gaze.
“Someone attacked her,” Molly says to Sylvia. “We need to get her out of here. She’s basically traumatized.”
“I’m not traumatized,” Clover says. “Just a little shaken.”
“What happened?” Sylvia asks. She doesn’t look at me, which puts me at ease.
Very little gets past Sylvia, but if she finds out I attacked her friend, she won’t look at me the same.
I knew I changed everything between us when I told her the truth this summer.
She could hardly handle the truth. I think she really only wants to get along with me for Amina’s sake.
She’s afraid of me. People weren’t always afraid of me.
But when you go from a beanpole to 6’5” of pure muscle, well, you start to scare people.
“I’d better go,” I mutter.
Sylvia glances at Clover and then at me. “Thomas, don’t move a muscle.”
Fuck. She suspects me. Sylvia gives me a stern look, like I’ve done something wrong and my heart drops straight into my arse.
She terrifies me even more than Violet and my sister woke me up every day for a week with a recitation of the vagina monologues because I called her a bitch under my breath.
Instead of calling for my hanging in the public square, Sylvia grabs my forearm.
“Thomas can help us find whoever hurt you.”
Revulsion crosses Clover’s face. “No, thank you.”
“I’d better go.”
“Do that,” Clover says. I hate that her words sting. At least she doesn’t know.
Sylvia glances at me and shrugs. “I need to look after her. You can tell me about that thing later.”
I mutter something stupid and before I can slink away awkwardly, Kit slaps his hand to my back and drags me away from them before my discomfort can make me sink into the ground.
“Thomas, my man! I’ve been searching for you, stupid.”
“You’re high.”
“Fuck yes! MDMA, gear, and whatever the fuck Jude put in that joint. Woo!”
Fuck, I’m going to end up taking care of him all night, aren’t I?
“And guess what?” Kit whispers, leaning in and throwing his arm over my shoulder. “I’m over Clover. I shagged another girl… I’m turning into a fucking player, Thomas! A player! Girls want my cock. Legitimately.”
Kit doesn’t realize how much of an obnoxious dick he sounds like, but he’s my friend.
I can’t do much about that. I glance over my shoulder to look at Clover, and she’s looking at me.
She knows. Fuck’s sake. I think she knows it was me.
I would be the worst criminal ever if I acted on my urges properly.
I need to stay away from her. I don’t know what I’ll do to Clover the next time we’re alone. She’s too bloody dangerous.
But I know myself. I’m a Bainbridge man.
The same dark blood that flows through my father’s veins flows through mine.
I can’t forgive him for the way he hurt mum, but I can’t escape the curse that runs through our bloodline.
Bainbridge men draw blood, cause pain. We dominate.
We hurt. We take what we can and give nothing in return.
I’m too selfish, broken and fucked in the head to get anywhere near a girl like her.
But fuck, my cock rages just thinking about having her there and how close I was to taking her.
Her arse wriggling against my cock drove me mad.
At least I stopped myself. At the very last moment, I reminded myself I was human.
I need to stay away from her, but I don’t know if I can.
* * *