5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Natalya
L ying in bed next to Mikhail is an intimidating experience.
With a glance over my shoulder, I can see that he’s asleep now but I can’t seem to do the same. I’m in a new place. In a new bed. Married to a man I barely know.
I have so many questions for Mikhail but I’m afraid to ask. I’m afraid to know why my mom didn’t want me to be with him. I’m afraid to know what might happen if I push him. Is he an angry man? So far, he hasn’t shown me he is.
But he did also kill a man to get to me. That’s not exactly healthy behavior.
I can feel the heat from his body. As someone who has never slept in the same bed with another person like this, it’s too warm.
I’m used to my own blankets and pillows and smells and temperature.
My sisters used to sneak into my bed when we were younger and have sleepovers but that hasn’t happened in years.
It’s another reminder that I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m a grown woman married to a man who’s dangerous who I chose to save my family who may or may not hurt me in the long run.
Once again, I have to ask myself: did I make the right decision?
My brain is racing. I’m still awake at one in the morning. It’s then that I feel Mikhail get out of bed. My back is to him so I can’t see what he’s doing and I don’t want to ask. For some reason, I don’t want him to know that I’m awake.
I can feel him looking at me for a moment before he gets out of bed. His footsteps move away from me and then I hear the door open. Maybe a nighttime snack? Maybe he has to use the bathroom?
But there’s an ensuite bathroom. He wouldn’t need to leave the bedroom to do that.
I wait to look until I hear the door shut again. Taking in a deep breath, I look over my shoulder and see that he’s gone. That’s all right. Maybe now I’ll finally be able to fall asleep without him next to me.
But sleep never comes.
I wait thirty minutes but he doesn’t come back. What is he doing awake this time of night? Surely he has to work in the morning. Granted, I don’t know Mikhail’s schedule. He might work all odd hours given what he does.
Which is still something I don’t fully know.
I shouldn’t worry and yet, I am. I need to know where he is. What he’s doing. My husband is a mystery to me. I have the right to know.
Despite my shaking hands, I force them to lift the blanket off me. I force my feet to touch the ground. I force my legs to stand up.
And I force my heart to calm down. Everything will be all right.
I peek my head into the hallway but I don’t see him. It’s so dark with all the lights off. I’m unsure if I should turn any of them on. Do I want Mikhail knowing I’m looking for him? Is he doing something dangerous that I shouldn’t know about?
I wipe my clammy hands on the silk nightgown he had me wear. The way he gently commanded me to wear it made my body tingle. I can’t stop thinking about it.
I use my hands to feel along the wall until I reach the stairs. Holding onto the handrail, I descend down. I don’t see any light on in the kitchen or the living room.
My eyes turn to the hallway off the foyer where the guest room is that he had me choose my wedding dress in. It’s also the hallway with the mysterious room that he doesn’t want me going in to.
As I make my way down the hallway, I notice that the mysterious room’s door is cracked open and a light is coming from it. Is Mikhail torturing someone in there?
I can hear the murmur of a voice. It sounds deep, like Mikhail’s. So he’s talking to someone. Then I hear the sound of… moaning? But I cant tell if it’s from pleasure or pain. Is he hurting someone in the house where I sleep? I don’t feel comfortable with that at all.
But do I have the right to tell him that? I don’t know what I can do or not do here. Mikhail is clearly in charge.
I need to know what’s in there though. The uncertainty is going to kill me.
Taking a deep breath, I approach the door and peek through the crack. I can just make out two people. A woman is on her knees, her eyes blindfolded. A man stands behind her, using a feather of sorts along her back. She keeps moaning. That’s who I heard.
I blush because well… she’s naked. The man has pants on but no shirt. Neither of them are Mikhail.
Yet, I can hear him talking.
He’s giving the couple orders. “Use the feather on her pussy.”
The man does as Mikhail instructs.
I gasp and step back and immediately cover my mouth. I don’t want Mikhail to hear me. What is going on here? It seems like my husband is into some weird sex stuff. I feel betrayed. He’s supposed to be mine, not someone else’s.
Yet, he’s not touching either person. He’s only talking to them.
“Now, use your hand to slap her pussy.”
The man replaces the feather with his hand and taps the woman between the legs. She moans louder.
“Quiet,” Mikhail snaps.
The woman clamps her lips shut.
“Slap her pussy harder. She can take it.”
The man brings his hand down firmer. I can hear the slap of it even from here.
I shouldn’t be watching this. I don’t want to be watching this.
Yet, I can’t seem to look away.
“Now, grab the paddle off the wall. Cecillia, I want you to get on your hands and knees. Robert, you’re going to spank her with the paddle. I’ll tell you when to stop. Cecillia, if it gets too much, you can always use your safe word.”
She gets into position and Robert gets behind her, a paddle in his hand. He brings it down hard onto her backside. She moans again.
“Quiet,” Mikhail gently reminds her.
She looks like she’s struggling to keep her mouth closed.
When Robert brings the paddle back down again, I gasp even louder. How can someone enjoy this? How can this be ok?
My foot steps on a creaky floorboard.
Everyone goes silent in the room right before the door is ripped open.
Mikhail stares down at me with an unreadable expression. “Natalya. I thought you were in bed.”
“I couldn’t sleep. You weren’t there so…”
“So you went looking for me.” He glances behind him at the couple and back to me. “You weren’t supposed to see this. You’re not ready yet.”
“Ready for what? Are you going to do this to me in the future? Are you going to hurt me?”
He cups my face. “I have no desire to hurt you. Ever. But since the truth is coming out, I’ll let you know. I like certain things. I like dominating people. I like telling them what to do.”
Like me with the silk gown. He told me to wear it and I complied without complaint. In fact, I felt good when he told me what to do. It took away my fear.
“I want to dominate you too. But no one else will ever touch you except me.”
“You want to hurt me?” I whisper.
He sighs and grabs my hands, tugging me inside the room. “Why don’t you come watch with me? You can see that Cecillia is not in pain. That she loves this.”
“Who are these people?”
“Cecillia and Robert. They’re both submissive people. They like being told what to do.”
“Why are they here?”
“I have urges, Natalya. I need to dominate but I knew you would be too afraid to explore this now. You’re so innocent. So new to this world. I didn’t want to push you into it too fast. I had them come over instead.”
I stare at the naked woman and half naked man and shudder. “Do you touch these people?”
“No. I have touched women in the past. Other submissive women. I’ve dominated them. But since seeing you, I haven’t wanted another woman. I only want to touch you. Which is why I brought Robert here as well. I thought he could touch Cecillia for me. This pleases all of us. Trust me.”
“It doesn’t please me.”
“Come here.” He sits down and pats his lap. “Come watch with me.” His tone says that it’s not a choice on my part. It’s an order.
I’m not sure I want to watch any more but I also need to see what happens. I can’t go back upstairs and fall asleep knowing this is happening right here in the same house.
So, I slowly sit down beside Mikhail.
“I want you on my lap,” he says.
A part of me wants to object. Tell him to not tell me what to do. But I also like the power he possesses – the ability to control the situation.
Slowly, I slide onto his lap. Mikhail settles his hands on my waist, holding me there. I can feel the hard muscle of his thighs under my own. His chest touches my back. His breath tickles my neck. It’s all so intimate. It’s frightening and erotic and exciting all at once.
“Continue,” he tells Robert. The other man paddles Cecillia’s backside and she moans in pleasure the whole time.
“Cecillia,” Mikhail says. “I told you to be quiet. So be quiet.”
She suppresses her moans again.
Hearing Mikhail give the order sends a flutter through my stomach. He is so powerful. I can’t help but be drawn to it.
“How can someone like that?” I whisper, nodding at the couple.
“People like all sorts of things.” His fingers skim over my bare thighs, sending goosebumps over my skin. I find myself leaning back against him. “A lot of people like pain with their pleasure. Are you the same, baby?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never…”
“I know. You’re a ballerina. You’re used to pain for the sake of beauty. I think there’s a part of you that likes it.”
I shiver at his words. All the countless hours I worked.
All the ways I pushed my body to move faster and work harder.
It did feel good in some sort of twisted way.
It felt good to dance through any pain, knowing that people found me beautiful.
That they found what I did impressive. The applause I would get was addictive.
“Tell me what you feel right now,” he says into my ear. His hands continue to skim along my thighs. He doesn’t bring them higher. It’s incredibly distracting.
“I feel… afraid.”
“Why?”
“There’s so much I don’t know. About you. About your life.”
“This is one part of it and you don’t need to fear it. It’s all consensual, I can assure you. Cecillia and Robert are here of their own accord.”
Robert keeps paddling Cecillia’s backside. Her ass is fully red. I’m not sure how she’ll be able to sit for the next few days.