Jade
Gray stretches in every direction.
I’m at the bow, trying not to think about Logan’s lies and whatever Kieran did with his daggers, when Callie yanks me back into focus.
“That can’t be right,” she says from where she’s crouched by the helm, and the confusion in her tone makes my lungs tighten.
I push off from the railing and move closer. “What’s wrong?”
She holds up the compass, and the needle is spinning, like it’s given up on the concept of direction.
“What happened to it?” I reach for it, but she pulls it back, as if she’s afraid I might poison her.
“It was fine before we entered the strait.” She taps the glass like that’ll fix it.
“Let me see.” Logan appears beside us, and Callie hands the compass over without argument.
He studies the spinning needle, his brow furrowing.
Evie sits up, still leaning against Kieran, gray-faced and hollow-eyed. “It’s not broken. The magnetic fields in the Lost Islands just don’t always follow normal rules.”
“So we’re lost in the middle of a monster infested sea.” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.
Nobody corrects me.
“The Lost Islands are called that for a reason.” Evie coughs, winces, and keeps talking anyway. “The sea doesn’t want people to leave.”
“Great.” I laugh, and it sounds unhinged. “The ocean has feelings now, and those feelings are murder.”
“I didn’t say it wants to kill,” Evie corrects me. “At least, not most of the time. It mainly just wants to keep us here.”
“So, it’s kidnapping. Really selling me on the upgrade.” Dread curls in my stomach as I gaze out at the endless gray.
Kieran shifts, helping Evie sit up straighter. “We need to take stock of our supplies. Evie, come below deck with me so you can rest and help me catalogue.”
She nods and lets him guide her to the hatch, already muttering about inventory systems.
I watch him carefully as he heads down.
Did anyone else see him telekinetically call the daggers back into his hands? Does he know that I saw him do it?
I want to ask him sooner rather than later, but that would involve being alone with Kieran Cross, and I’ve never been alone with Kieran Cross. I’d rather take my chances with another six-headed sea monster.
Callie moves to the helm, fiddling with the compass.
I turn back and stare at where the strait used to be. There’s just more gray water, stretching in every direction, like we didn’t almost become breakfast for a whirlpool and a multi-headed monster.
Another multi-headed monster.
The thought surfaces, and suddenly I’m not on this boat anymore. I’m back in that clearing during my initiation trial, the Hydra head coming down at me, ready to snap me in half.
Evie held off the Hydra with her heat shields. Nina aimed her fire at the monster with precision. Vera fought like a demon. Garrett ran his mouth, even while covered in monster blood.
And then, of course, Sam.
Just like that, I’m not on this boat anymore. I’m back in the Obsidian Caves, Sam’s fingers are slipping from mine, the hellhounds are between us, and he’s giving me that terrified look when he realizes I’m not going to reach him in time.
My lungs lock. The salt air turns to sulfur, copper, and the smell of a fire trick gone wrong. I can feel the obsidian floor under my knees, the sticky blood on my hands, can hear Francis screaming Elizabeth’s name, and can see the smoke rising from her chest where my bolt hit her.
Electricity hums beneath my skin like it’s remembering, too. But there are too many loops, each one layered on top of the other, and they converge and contract in my mind until I’m not totally sure what was real and what wasn’t.
“Jade,” Logan says, close to me, snapping me back into the present. “You have the look on your face that you get when you’re spiraling.”
I blink a few times to get the images out of my head. “How can you tell?”
“I pay attention.” He moves to stand next to me at the railing. “What’s on your mind?”
“I keep thinking about the sirens that pretended to be Sam and Elizabeth,” I tell him.
“What did they say?”
“Sam said he forgives me. Elizabeth said it wasn’t my fault, because my power was out of my control, and I didn’t mean to hurt her.
” I squeeze my eyes shut, but all I see is her body crumpling and the smoke rising from her chest from the deadly blast of electricity I shot at her—a voltage cranked up to ten, aimed to kill.
Logan’s hand finds mine, unsteady from however many times he time traveled while we were fighting Scylla and Charybdis, and he inhales sharply, his thumb dragging across my knuckles.
“I think about my parents every day,” he finally says. “I wonder what I could have done differently, and what would have happened if I pushed myself to travel back further.”
I nod, remembering the pain in his eyes when he admitted he’d never stopped blaming himself.
“The guilt doesn’t go away,” he says, years of weight beneath the words. “It becomes part of you, and eventually, you learn to live beside it instead of under it.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“It is.” He squeezes my hand. “But it’s better than the alternative.”
I lean into him and let my shoulder press against his arm.
“What’s the alternative?”
“Letting it crush you.” His body tenses. “Letting it win.”
I don’t have a response to that. So, I stare out into the endless gray, holding his hand, trying to imagine a future where I’m able to carry the guilt instead of having it slowly suffocate me.
It’s hard to picture. But with Logan’s hand in mine, it feels almost possible.
“Logan,” Callie says, slicing through the moment. She’s standing a few feet away, arms crossed. “I need your help with the rigging. It got damaged during Scylla’s attack.”
Logan doesn’t move. “Can it wait five minutes?”
“Sure.” Her laugh is sharp. “Let’s hope the remaining mast doesn’t snap in half during your romantic moment. I’m sure the ocean will give us a grace period.”
I want to tell him to stay.
Instead, I say, “She’s right. Go.”
He looks at me. Really looks, like he’s waiting for me to change my mind.
“I’ll be fine,” I add. “Fix the rigging. Keep us alive.”
He hesitates for another second. Then he squeezes my hand once, quick and deliberate, and stands.
“I’ll be back.”
“I know.”
He crosses the deck to Callie, who’s already heading to the damaged rigging with purpose in her step. But before she reaches the mast, she glances back.
Our eyes meet, and triumph flashes across her face, there and gone so fast I might have imagined it.
But I won’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know how much she affects me. So, I turn back to the railing and gaze out at the gray that stretches on forever, giving us no way to know if we’re sailing to safety or straight into the jaws of another monster.