Chapter 11 #2
Asha fidgeted uncomfortably. “But the others won’t accept me.”
Cade shrugged. “They’ll follow my orders, even if they don’t like them. And we won’t introduce you to the others anyway until I know you’re ready to prove yourself in the field.”
“In the field?” she asked, her stomach churning. “Like…on your raids? On scavenging missions?”
“Yeah, that’s part of the job.”
Asha swallowed hard. “And if I say no?”
“You don’t want to say no,” Cade said with a knowing smile.
“But nothing would change. You’d spend your days with the other women, doing their chores, and your nights here.
You can choose that life, if you want…become a servant.
But it seems to me that you’ve already proven that you’re nobody’s maid. ”
His voice was tinged with amusement, and Asha managed a weak smile.
She’d never thought about being a soldier.
It wasn’t an option that ever would’ve been possible for her in the Cave.
But Cade was right that she didn’t want to serve in the roles assigned to women there.
She hadn’t enjoyed being a wife in the compound either, and that had been much more palatable than anything she could do in this place.
She was nervous at the prospect of learning to fight, but it also excited and comforted her.
Never again would she have to rely entirely on someone else to rescue her.
She could rise out of the learned helplessness that’d been drilled into her in the compound, that she’d always been desperate to escape, even if she hadn’t realized it until this moment.
“Alright,” she said to Cade. “I want in.”
He smiled at her with real warmth, and chucked her chin.
“You’re a brave little viper,” he said. “I hate that you’ve had to be…
but there aren’t many women—hell, many people—who would’ve stood up to Angel the way you did.
Right now, you’re afraid of your own darkness, but one day, you’ll learn to embrace it.
You’ll use it to survive impossible odds. That’s real power.”
Cade stood and pulled her to her feet.
“Now, the real work begins.”
He didn’t lie. The next four weeks were the hardest, most exhausting weeks of Asha’s life, and for a woman who’d been sold into slavery and endured Angel’s wrath, that was saying something.
Cade took her training seriously, and he put her through a brutal, crash-course bootcamp that left her falling into bed in the evenings, asleep before she hit the mattress.
She still woke every night from terrifying nightmares, but at least he was there to hold her hand, fetch her some water, and talk to her until she fell back asleep.
He told her more stories about his time in the military at the Delta, and about his mother, who he’d obviously loved dearly.
Asha knew she was dead, but Cade clearly hadn’t wanted to talk about it, so she let him be.
Still, she wondered if her death had influenced his decision to leave.
Every morning now, he woke her at the crack of dawn and had her run laps, followed by intense strength training in the backyard.
He joined in, completing his own daily training tasks, but otherwise he mostly acted like the worst motivational speaker ever as Asha tried to force her body to accomplish things she’d never thought possible.
He even put Dom in charge of the usual training drills with the men so that he could focus solely on grinding Asha’s bones into dust, or at least, that was how it felt to her.
“You can do five more reps,” Cade said sternly to Asha, who lay on her stomach in the grass, having just completed so many push-ups that she’d lost count.
“Fuck you,” she gasped out. “I can’t.”
“Make it ten, then,” he replied, his tone razor-sharp.
She wanted to cry, but she wasn’t convinced that he wouldn’t increase it to fifteen if she did.
This was a side of Cade she’d only seen glimpses of: intensely focused, insanely disciplined, and utterly ruthless.
During training, she learned, he had absolutely zero sense of humour, and was far less tolerant of her snark than he was outside of their sessions.
He was every inch the military commander during that time.
As much as she might hate him during the moments of intense pain during training, she had to admit that there was something hot about that amount of discipline.
And she was indeed growing stronger by the day, especially since Cade fed her a steady diet of almost exclusively protein—meat from the hunts that he and the Blackguard went on every few days.
He brought her on her first hunt after a couple of weeks, and was pleased when she shot a deer on her first try.
After lunch each day, Cade taught her weapons training, knife skills, and hand-to-hand combat. He introduced her to using a rifle and a pistol, and taught her to shoot.
“Your first thought should always be your weapon,” Cade said, adjusting her shooting posture. “Like I said before: you’re at a physical disadvantage against most male combatants. Guns even the odds significantly.”
He’d set up makeshift targets at the opposite end of the backyard to start with—much closer than the targets at the training yard everyone else used, he told her.
Asha worked harder at target practice than at anything else, determined to master this one thing that would even the odds between her and someone like Angel.
“You’re actually a pretty decent shot,” Cade said during their fourth week, a rare bit of warmth in his voice.
Nonetheless, Asha beamed with pride. She didn’t know what to make of the fact that training as a soldier—painful though it was—came to her more easily than anything she’d done before.
Perhaps because she wanted this. She’d chosen this.
She reveled in her new strength, and in the combat skills she was learning. For the first time, she felt powerful.
She mimed clapping her hand over her mouth in shock at Cade’s praise.
“So, you’re saying I’m actually doing something right?”
“You’re doing plenty right,” he replied with a shrug. “Better than most. But it’s not my job to pat you on the back. It’s my job to make you into a soldier, in the very limited time we’ve got.”
She turned to look at him, surprised by the last bit. “Time?”
“I’ve gotten word from Angel,” Cade said, and she forced herself not to flinch at the name. “We’re due to collect the rents from the Settlements, starting in a month.”
“The rents?”
“Payment for our protection,” he answered, and Asha tried not to make a face. “They provide us with goods, and Angel offers them a full-time security team to protect them. The Blackguard visits a couple times a year to collect payment and to consult on the security side of things.”
“And you’re taking me with you on this trip,” she said, her voice quavering. “Right?”
Cade nodded. “I’ll be introducing you to the men next week. After that, you’ll train with all of us.”
“You really think I’m ready?” Asha asked, a little doubtfully.
“I think you’ll handle it,” he replied, neatly avoiding a direct answer. She rolled her eyes. “We may take you on a couple smaller missions in the meantime, to get you some experience. We’ll also have to get you a uniform.”
The first week in May, Asha stood in the larger training yard where the rest of the Blackguard trained.
There was a small shooting range, as well as a makeshift obstacle course, with rope ladders and wooden platforms for climbing.
A mishmash of workout equipment and weights were reserved for the far corner.
Asha swallowed back her nerves as a dozen Blackguard soldiers filed into the yard, with Leo, Dom, and Cade bringing up the rear.
She’d braided her long black hair out of her face, and Cade had gotten Lana and the other women to alter a spare black tactical uniform for her, but it still didn’t fit her perfectly.
She felt like an imposter wearing it, and she shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.
Most of the soldiers eyed her with a mix of confusion and curiosity, though a few of them didn’t bother to hide their distaste for her wearing their uniform. A large, redheaded man rolled his eyes and gave a sarcastic chuckle, while another man with a mop of curly hair shot her a look of disgust.
But as soon as Cade stood by her side in front of them, arms crossed with a commanding expression on his face, they immediately stood at attention, single-file, emptying their expressions. The instant effect on them was remarkable.
“We have a new recruit,” Cade announced, looking down the line at each man’s face. “Asha will be joining the Blackguard on all future missions. She’s done a few weeks of basic training, but as a rookie, she’ll need your help to find her place with us.”
A long pause ensued, where the men couldn’t help glancing at each other awkwardly. The redheaded man scoffed quietly.
“Do you have something to share with the group, Garett?” Cade demanded, fixing him with that piercing, grey-eyed stare that Asha had found both so unsettling and compelling.
Garett shook his head. “No, sir, it’s just—”
“Do tell,” Cade cut in. “I’m interested.”
His tone was frosty, and Asha was glad to not be on the receiving end of it. He’d never spoken that way to her, even during training.
Garett scoffed again. “You really gonna make me say it, Cap? She’s a woman!”
“And?” Cade lifted his eyebrows.
“We don’t allow women to join,” the curly-haired man said with a shrug. “You can’t just bring your girlfriend here and expect us to take her seriously.”
Asha chewed her lip. “I’ve been working hard on—”
“Women don’t belong here unless they’re spreading their legs,” Garett interrupted, shooting her a glare.
“That’s enough,” Cade snapped. “Garett, you’ll be spending your afternoon cleaning out the latrines instead of training. Same with you, Tom.”
Both men opened their mouths to protest, but Cade talked over them.
“And if you can’t shape up before tomorrow, don’t fucking bother coming back. You can settle for guard duty at the gate, or whatever useless busywork Angel sees fit to assign you. Closed-minded dipshits do not belong in the Blackguard.”
Amid much muttering and cursing, Garett and Tom left, staring daggers at Asha on their way out. She couldn’t help but gulp.
“This applies to the rest of you as well,” Cade continued, looking back to the rest of the men. “I expect that every person here will treat Asha with the basic respect you give to all your fellow soldiers. Is that understood?”
The general chorus of yes, sir surprised Asha again. The rest of the men may not have cared for Asha, but it was clear that they respected Cade and his authority. They seemed somewhat doubtful but willing to give her a shot, and that was the best she could’ve hoped for.
They went down the line, introducing themselves to her.
A tall, pale, lanky man in the middle identified himself as Raph, their chief navigator on missions, and a shorter, playful-looking man with copper skin and honey-coloured eyes told her his name was Davy.
He looked like the youngest of the group, barely out of his teens.
“We’ll start with our usual drills,” Cade said. “You know what to do.”
The men, including Dom and Leo, headed for the equipment. Cade nodded at Davy and beckoned him over.
“Davy’s our former rookie before you,” Cade said to Asha, in the same businesslike way he spoke to the others. She supposed she had to appreciate that he was treating her the same as anyone else there. “He’ll help you figure out the drills. Understood?”
“Yes,” Asha said, nervous but eager to prove herself.
“Yes, sir,” Cade corrected. “When you’re here with the others, you’ll refer to me by sir, like everyone else.”
Asha nearly laughed at him, but caught herself just in time. She couldn’t imagine referring to him as sir. It was too formal and so unlike him.
“I’m not gonna call you that,” she said with a wry smile.
“Oh yes, you will,” he replied firmly. “Or there’ll be…consequences.”
Asha was briefly tempted to ask exactly what kind of consequences, but his steely glare convinced her that she didn’t want to die that day. Still, there was an undeniable spark of amusement in his eye.
She gave a single nod. “Fine. Can I get to work now?”
“Fine, sir.”
She rolled her eyes, and Davy stared at the ground, looking vaguely uncomfortable.
“Fine, sir,” she parroted, not bothering to hide her sarcasm.
“Very good,” Cade said silkily. “She can be taught.”
He walked away, taking a position to supervise the climbing drills the others were doing.
“Dickhead,” Asha breathed, and to her delight, Davy laughed. She turned to him with what she hoped was a winning smile. “Could you show me the ropes? I’d appreciate it.”
Davy had a lovable grin. “Train with the same fierceness you give the Captain, and we’ve got no problem here.”