Chapter 16
Despite their best efforts, they didn’t make it to Silver Creek that night. They were all exhausted, and Cade made the decision to make camp. They found a quiet, secluded clearing by a small stream where they pitched their tents, and Asha was grateful to rest her aching ankle.
She awoke with the first rays of dawn the next morning.
It was easy to rise with the sun these days, following its natural rhythm.
It made her realize how much of her life had been dominated by the clock in the past. Everything was rushed, and every ounce of productivity was squeezed out of every single second.
In the Wasteland, they’d reverted to a time when people accepted that things took time.
It was a slower pace of life that she was growing to like, much to her surprise.
Usually, Cade was up before her; he’d been a soldier for too long to sleep in.
Today, however, he lay in his sleeping bag with his arm draped over his eyes.
Asha would’ve thought he was still asleep, except that his jaw was working, his teeth gritted.
Just looking at him, she could sense something was wrong.
Sudden worry gripped her. She sat up and scooted over to his side.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly. “Are you hurt?”
“Fine,” Cade exhaled, but his voice was saturated with pain. “I’m fine.”
His reassurance only alarmed her more.
“Please,” she pleaded, and, hesitating, she reached out and placed her hand on his arm. The simple contact sent an electric current through her, even as she feared for his well-being. Too much had happened between them for her to feel neutral while touching him. “Let me help.”
Cade gave an uncharacteristic groan of pain. “Get Leo.”
Panic shot through her, but Asha nodded and leapt to her feet. Her injured ankle twinged in protest, but she ignored it. She dressed in a rush and hurried outside. She ran to Leo’s tent and, without thinking, threw back the flaps.
“Leo,” she gasped, “Cade’s hurt—”
She froze. Leo was lying on top of his sleeping bag, and in response to the summer heat, he didn’t have a stitch on. Naked as the day he was born, he made a sound of surprise and sat up. Asha yelped and shielded her eyes, but not before she got an eyeful of his lean, muscular form.
“Good fucking grief, Asha,” he bit out. “You couldn’t have given me some warning before barging in? It’s the crack of dawn, literally!”
Asha burst into peals of helpless laughter. She was worried about Cade, knew she had to get back to him, but she couldn’t help it.
“Well, I’m glad one of us finds this amusing,” Leo said acridly as he stood and got dressed. “Now, what’s wrong with Cade?”
Immediately, she regained her composure. “He’s in pain. I’m not sure why; he just told me to get you.”
Leo made a sound of acknowledgement. “Probably a migraine. He’s a chronic sufferer.”
“He is?” Asha asked, frowning. “What does he usually do?”
He shrugged. “Whatever he can. Back at home, he got periodic injections that prevented them, but we don’t have that anymore.”
On that ominous note, they went to Cade’s side. When Asha entered the tent, she was hit with the pungent smell of vomit. There was a smear of it on the grass next to Cade. He lay in the same spot as before, still with his eyes covered, his whole body tensed.
“You’re having a bad time of it, huh?” Leo said sympathetically. “I’m sorry that I don’t have much to give you except cannabis. Unless you want me to—”
“No,” Cade croaked. “Save the good stuff. This is nothing.”
Asha wrinkled her nose. “It sure doesn’t look like nothing, soldier.”
He groaned. “Go away, Asha. You shouldn’t see me like this.”
She frowned. “Why the hell not?”
He didn’t answer, just groaned again.
“You seeing auras?” Leo asked as he snapped open his medical bag and knelt beside Cade.
“Yeah. Can’t open my fucking eyes without seeing flashing lights.”
“Auras?” Asha asked, looking to Leo.
“Visual disturbances,” Leo replied distractedly as he held open one of Cade’s eyes, examining the pupil. Cade made a sharp sound of pain. “He sees flashing lights, but there can be other kinds. Light and sound cause him pain, too.”
“Will he be alright?” she asked, worry creeping back in.
Leo took a moment to respond as he examined Cade.
“He should be,” he finally said. “I’ll give him some cannabis to chew, which may take the edge off the pain, but probably won’t resolve his symptoms. The only thing that will is time, I’m afraid.”
Poor Cade, Asha found herself thinking, then wondered what was wrong with her. She’d never thought such a thing in her life. Sympathy and empathy are dangerous weaknesses, her father’s voice whispered in her ear. They allow a drowning person to drag you down with them.
But she cared for Cade. Somehow, this battered soldier had shown her more humanity than her administrator father ever had.
So, while Leo continued his physical exam, she gathered up one of the washcloths they used for bathing and cleaned up Cade’s vomit from the floor of the tent.
She went out to the stream and washed it, then hung it up on a tree branch.
The Blackguard were mostly awake now, and there were mutters through the camp that Asha interpreted as wondering about their Captain’s condition.
When she returned, Leo said to her, “I’ve done what I can. He’s taken the cannabis; he just needs to rest now. Maybe you should go—”
“No,” Cade mumbled from under his arm. “Stay, Asha. Sit with me.”
Five minutes ago, he was sending her away, and now he was ordering her to stay? Asha huffed, but she couldn’t suppress a small smile.
“I’m fine to stay with him,” she said to Leo, trying to sound nonchalant. “You can go back to…whatever you were doing.”
There was a smothered giggle at the end of her sentence, and Leo shot her a censorious look before leaving, telling her to call him if something changed.
“This is very dramatic,” Asha said casually, sitting next to Cade. “The men probably think you’re dying.”
“Thanks for your concern,” Cade replied sarcastically, and Asha saw him flinch with pain again. “You definitely missed your calling as a doctor. That bedside manner? Ten out of ten.”
She couldn’t help laughing, but…she was concerned about him. More than she ever thought she would be.
“How bad is it?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands. “What’s it feel like?”
He made a huffing sound. “Like my head is being crushed by a military truck that keeps running over it, and every time I try to open my eyes, it has little daggers on the wheels that stab into my eye sockets, just for fun.”
Asha winced. “Well, that’s vivid.”
She hesitated before kneeling beside his head.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go?” she asked, gentling her tone. “Leo said you’re sensitive to sound, so maybe it’s better to leave you alone.”
“No,” he gritted out. “I don’t want to be alone. I…like the sound of your voice, darling. Even when it hurts.”
Oddly touched by that, Asha said, “We should at least try to make you more comfortable, then.”
She retrieved another washcloth from her bag and went to soak it in the stream.
In the blazing heat of July, the water wasn’t cold, but it was better than nothing.
When she returned to Cade’s side, she rolled up the cloth, and before he could protest, lifted his arm off his eyes.
She placed the cool cloth over his eyelids and his arm at his side.
He gave a shallow sigh, the smallest sign of relief, and thanked her.
Asha relaxed a little; she hadn’t realized her shoulders had been up near her ears.
She wanted to ease more of his pain if she could.
Before she could question the wisdom of such a thing, she scooted closer to him and lifted his head into her lap.
“What’re you doing?” he asked in surprise.
“Shut up,” she replied nervously, and he laughed, but didn’t pull away.
Asha took a breath and laid her hands on his head.
His hair, cropped so short, was prickly against her skin.
He was warmer and softer than she would’ve imagined, for some reason.
Maybe because he always looked so intense, and his frown and his tattoos gave him a hard look.
But his skin was smooth and pliable, and as clear and unmarked as her own.
With the tips of her fingers, she tentatively began to knead his temples. His long groan told her that it brought him additional relief…and stirred something between her legs. She bit her lip and chose to ignore the flutters in her stomach.
“Is that good?” she asked as she kneaded lower, onto his jaw. “You’re clenched up as tight as I always imagined your asshole was during drills.”
Cade laughed again, relaxing into her lap. “All that tells me is that you’ve been thinking about my asshole, darling.”
Asha clucked her tongue in disapproval. “You know, for a soldier, you’re surprisingly undisciplined, Captain.”
“Only with you, it seems,” he said with a small smile. She could feel his muscles slackening under her touch, which she took as a good sign. “The only time I’ve ever impulsively rushed a slave market was when I saw you there.”
A strange warmth bloomed in her chest. She couldn’t think of a less romantic setting for a first meeting, yet the fact that he’d met her eye and really saw her there, as a human being rather than as an object, was something she’d remember for the rest of her life. It was as if he’d seen into her soul.
“That look you gave me,” she said quietly. “It was like you knew me. Like you’d been looking for me, even. But you’d never met me.”
He took a few moments to answer, sighing as she continued to press on painful points on his head and neck.
“I did feel like I knew you,” he finally said in a low voice. “Not directly, but I knew you were from the same place as me, from the same people I was supposed to protect, back when I was in the line of duty. You reminded me that I used to have a purpose.”