21. River
RIVER
I have the steering wheel in a death grip as I chase the cars in front of us to the hospital. Everything Freya does and is unravels me and all of the emotions I work so hard to lock down are pushing at the edges of my being.
I’m not the only one losing it. Oz grips onto the safety handle above the passenger door, his other hand curled around the seatbelt as he stares into the road. “She didn’t say anything else? About how he was, what happened?”
I grit my teeth. “For the third time, no.”
He rocks his head back like he might be sick. “We never should have left her locked up.”
The leather of the steering wheel creaks under my fists and my vision blurs at the edges. “I swear to god Oz, if you don’t shut up, I will pull over and you can walk to the damn hospital.”
Behind me, Eli throws his phone down on the back seat. “She’s still not fucking answering. I’ve tried from all of our phones.”
Images of Jude and Freya lying hurt on the floor flash through my mind. A stone fist clenches my heart. “I’m going to throttle that woman.”
Eli grunts. “Get in line.”
“Are we even heading to the right hospital?” Oz asks, running a palm over his beard.
“It’s the nearest one,” I answer but he’s right. I have no idea. For all I know, we could be driving in the wrong direction as my friend bleeds to death.
Freya better have a damn good excuse for not answering her phone.
After what feels like an age, we get to the local hospital. The scent of antiseptic catches in my throat and the florescent lights bounce off the linoleum floor.
The woman behind the desk doesn’t have time for me and I have to slap my FBI badge down on the rounded counter before she even looks my way.
Her graying hair is pulled back in a bun and her eyes are dull. “Patient name?”
“Jude Elroy,” I snap because I’ve already told her twice.
She turns to her computer. “And your relationship to him?”
“River Park. I’m listed as his next of kin.” The nature of our jobs means we’re all listed as each other’s next of kin for exactly this situation. I’m not waiting around for Jude’s vapid mother to turn up to find out what’s wrong with him.
“He’s in surgery. The surgeon will update you once he’s finished. You can wait over there with his girlfriends.”
Girl friends. Plural?
The nurse points down the hall to a waiting area and I turn around to see double.
Freya, our Freya , is sitting across from an old police officer as he takes notes. She’s wearing a navy scrub top and remnants of dried blood smudge her bare arms.
Next to her, in the corner, her legs pulled up to her chest on the plastic chair, is Angelica. They’re eerily identical but where Freya’s ginger hair falls in curls and waves, Angelica’s hangs flat and matted. Blood splatters cover her left hand and I no longer need Freya to tell me what happened.
I stride over to the woman who tears me up inside. The police officer interviewing her looks up and his partner strolls over from the water cooler, paper cup in hand. I flip my badge and point at Angelica. “Special Agent River Park, acting chief of the SCU. I’m taking that woman into custody.”
“River, no.” Freya stands up and levels me with a cold look. “You will not arrest her.”
I flip my badge closed and step forward, closing the gap between us. “She’s a fugitive of the state.”
She has to crane her neck to look up at me but fire rages in her eyes. “According to you, so am I.”
Freya holds her ground. In the corner, Allie hugs her knees, chewing on the tip of her thumb. It makes her look younger than her sister and I recall Freya telling me once that Allie gets like this sometimes, that her trauma makes her act younger than she is.
I take a steadying breath and glance at the police officers. “Give us a moment?”
The officers head down the hall, and I turn my attention back to Freya.
My eyes sweep over her, checking for injuries.
The blood on her skin has fury thundering through me but I’m pretty confident it’s not hers.
I pinch her chin between my thumb and forefinger and tilt her head up, tracing every line of her face until I’m happy she’s unharmed. “You hung up on me.”
Freya knocks my hand away and steps back.
I glance over at Angelica. “Did she shoot him?”
Freya hesitates for a moment but then dips her head and mutters, “Yes.”
I don’t have the full story yet but in this moment I can’t bring myself to care. Jude is lying on an operating table. Freya’s arms are covered in his blood
“I have to arrest her,” I say.
Freya crosses her arms and her gaze burns into me. “No, you don’t. You’re the chief of the SCU, River. Find a loophole, write a new rule. I don’t care how you do it, just do it. She stays with us.”
“Freya…” I reach out to her, but her gaze flicks over my shoulder as footsteps approach.
“Jude Elroy’s family?” A man in full scrubs with brown hair a few shades darker than his skin takes us in.
“Here.” Freya weaves around me to face the surgeon.
His eyes crinkle as he smiles. “The surgery went well. We were able to stem the bleeding and remove the bullet arthroscopically so he should heal quicker. He lost a lot of blood, but he should make a full recovery.”
The steel band that’s been ratcheting around my chest loosens and I take my first full breath in what feels like hours.
Freya’s shoulders drop and beside us Eli folds Oz into a hug.
“Can we see him?” Freya asks.
The surgeon clasps his hands together. “We’re just bringing him down from the ICU now. I’ll have the nurse let you know when he’s ready.”
Freya nods. “Thank you.”
The surgeon leaves and for a moment none of us speak. Little by little my control returns and most of my anger drains away. Jude’s alive. He’s going to be alright.
Oz pulls away from Eli and draws Freya into a hug. She slips her arms around him, burying her face in his chest, and my heart pangs with longing and jealousy. I want her to need me like that but lately all I seem to make her do is push me away.
Eli’s hand lands on my shoulder. “You still functioning?”
I nod.
He looks over at Angelica. “You can’t arrest her,” he says.
I sigh. “I know.”
A year ago, I never would have considered bending the rules but it’s becoming increasingly clear that I will break every single rule in the book for Freya Danvers.
I have very little control when it comes to her and when she pulls away from Oz and starts walking down the hall, I panic.
“We still need to talk, Freya.”
She stops and shakes her head before turning around. “No,” she says, her face blank. “I’m done. You can put a tracker on me. You can lock me up. But you cannot force me to talk to you.”
I keep her trapped in my gaze, trying to figure out what I can say to make her stay, to stop her from hating me, but then a nurse appears at the end of the hall.
He smiles at Freya and I want to punch him in the nose.
“You can come see him now. Maybe just one of you to start with though.”
Freya looks back at Oz.
He gives a soft smile and waves her away. “Go. We’ll be in soon.”
I have to force myself to stay still as Freya leaves. I clench my fists and tell myself she’s not going to disappear. She’s back and with her new bracelet on she can go nowhere without me knowing.
But somehow, right now, she feels further away than ever.