XXIV | THE LETTER
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Celvene was bitter about it, and if she could convince Melantha to let her go, the two of them would be much happier.
Melantha hated her. At this point, Celvene didn't know what in Virion's name she thought of Melantha, but her thoughts had been dwelling on her city, and how she was going to get back.
The longer Aleksandr stood uncontested, the more he could do, and Celvene had a feeling none of it was going to be decided with the well-being of the citizens in mind.
"You don't have to do this, you know," Celvene said as she and Melantha walked, and Melantha stiffened out of the corner of her eye.
She was still trailing behind Celvene, but she'd given up on guiding Celvene using her hand.
"You can tell Zelphar you gave me the tour and I hated it.
I don't care if he punishes me for it, because that just proves my beliefs are right.
I won't change my mind about Noriya because you show me how perfect it looks. "
"Yeah, that sounds about right," Melantha grumbled. "You've always been stubborn in your beliefs. And stop trying to get out of this. It already took me five days to get you to agree to go on the tour."
"Well, if I wasn't stubborn, we wouldn't have met at the ball. Then you wouldn't get to enjoy seeing me chained up in a small cell and miserable, right?" Celvene's stomach growled, and she scowled at the ground. She hadn't only refused the tour.
Melantha remained silent. But, in Celvene's mind, that was better than her spitting back a poisoned insult.
Her behavior was all too familiar to Celvene, starting from the night she'd met Korvin to the day she'd left the circus.
Forcing Celvene to do something, getting upset when she offered an alternative, insulting Celvene in the heat of the moment, apologizing, then rinsing and repeating.
Now Celvene just had to wait for an apology.
It was a tired cycle, and Celvene knew Melantha had learned it from somewhere—this wasn't an inherent behavior. Yet that somehow made it all the more infuriating.
Melantha broke the strained silence with one word: "No."
"What?"
"I don't want to see you upset, Celvene, even if it seems like I do.
It's... hard to control myself around you.
I felt so many negative emotions for so many years that it's hard to just erase that.
I'm trying to forget, but it seems like you don't want me to.
" Melantha sighed, and Celvene's brows knitted in a frown.
How did Melantha feel that way? If anything, the complete opposite was true!
"I try to open up a piece of myself after years of not seeing you and feeling abandoned, and you retaliate by calling me a bad person. "
Now thankful Melantha wasn't beside her, Celvene rolled her eyes. "Like you said, Melantha. It's hard to erase years of memories where your soldiers are always painted as villains. And you haven't been a saint in how you've talked about my people, either."
To Celvene's surprise, Melantha chuckled. It was short but sweet, and Celvene's eyebrows drew even closer.
"I guess neither of us have grown up, huh?" Melantha said, and Celvene could hear the laughter in her voice. Though she didn't turn around, she could imagine Melantha's smile, and the way it reached her eyes. "We're both still holding onto the past, hoping we never forget."
"I guess."
"You said you wrote to me," Melantha said after another stretch of silence, her voice quiet.
The quick crumpling of paper followed her words, and Melantha inhaled.
"I, uh, did get one letter. I don't know if you were telling the truth about the ones after, but.
.. You were truthful about one of them, and I wasn't completely honest myself.
I'm sorry. I was just... I was angry, and I was hurt, and it made me lash out.
I couldn't bring myself to believe that you'd sent anything more than this one.
I thought you wanted nothing more to do with me, and it was hard to believe that I'd been believing a lie for years. "
"You got one of my letters?" Celvene said, unable to shake the surprise that crept into her voice.
She shook her head, refusing to look behind her now.
Melantha had received one of her letters, and yet she still made it her mission to make Celvene feel awful for something she hadn't even done?
Yet, instead of an insult or nasty response, all she could say was, "Which one? "
For the first time since they were children, Melantha fell into sync with Celvene's steps.
When Celvene looked up, a scarlet blush had crawled across Melantha's pale skin, and she'd averted her bright gaze.
In her hand was a wrinkled piece of paper—and somehow, Celvene recognized what it was right away.
When she raised her hand, it was trembling.
Why?
She didn't bother pondering the answer. Instead, she curled her hand into a fist, squeezing it tight until the shaking slowed. Then, she took the parchment, even though she already knew what it said. She smoothed it out with a gentle hand.
Hi Melantha!
How have you been? How's Noriya? I know you said it would be snowy there, and I'm sooo jealous you get to see the frosted cats, and the white foxes, too! What were their names? Snow foxes? Don't kill me if I got it wrong, haha!
She now knew Noriya barely got snow, or any inclement weather for that matter.
Melantha hadn't known that, though, and between Celvene's lackluster education and the fact that she, at the time, wasn't traveling with the circus for any performances, she'd never seen Noriya for herself—not that Virion would have allowed Painted Sky to visit Noriya, anyways.
It was only a year later when two patrons in an inn were discussing the constant lack of rain in Noriya that she realized.
I know you said your dad has to travel around Fellstride for work, so I assumed you were tagging along, but now that I think about it, you have school, right?
I can't erase what I said, because this is my last piece of parchment, and I used a quill like a dummy. Still... Are you actually going with him? And are you even going to get this letter if you went with him?
Me? I've had an interesting few weeks. I know you told me to keep you updated if I ended up entering that art competition at the academy. I entered it with the painting of the owl, and I didn't even place.
I used the dried clay like you told me to, and it worked. I thought it was amazing! Abbett told me it looked like a smudge of white paint with two dots for eyes, which I thought was rude, but I didn't let it get me down. I know you would've liked it, and that's enough to make me happy.
But I've been lonely, too. I don't have a lot of friends here now.
No one will talk to me more than they have to, because I'm the circus freak, right?
And they've started insulting me again, but I can handle it.
It was still easier when you were here. They ignored me because of the way you looked at them.
She was lucky, she supposed. Her parents had pulled her from the academy soon after Melantha had left.
She still didn't know if they'd done it because she was miserable, or because they truly were too poor to continue sending her there.
It was around the time her circus practices had ramped up, and she was spending every waking moment either studying or working.
Every night, she'd wished she could see Melantha one last time—to motivate her to continue her studies. To inspire her to keep living.
Her prayers were never answered; Celvene didn't blame Melantha for it, though. If anything, it just proved how useless the gods of Fellstride were.
I miss you. I felt a lot happier with you around. You made me smile and laugh, and sometimes forget about how bad my life can be. I looked forward to seeing you every day, and when that was done, all I could think about was how I might not graduate because of circus practices.
I know graduation is far away, but my parents keep reminding me. I guess they forget they're the reason I'm missing school. They got a letter from the headmaster that I've been falling behind. But now that you're gone, all I have to look forward to is going to sleep.
I've been looking forward to writing this letter since my dad told me he'd be buying parchment for some man he has to send a letter to.
I had to beg him to get one piece of parchment, but I ruined it, so I had to wait another week for him to get more.
This letter needs to be perfect! Besides the first few things I said.
Anyways, how's Noriya? I need to know! You told me your grandma makes good deer dumplings, right? When you visit, you need to bring some for me to try! You know my parents are both awful at cooking, and the food in our homeland is... something, as you know.
How's your new school? Are you making friends? I know you are. Who wouldn't like you? I'm lucky you became my friend all those years ago. I wouldn't have anyone else as my best friend!
Sorry for talking about myself for so long.
I'm running out of space now, so I'll keep this short.
I hope you're enjoying Noriya! I know you said you were scared, but you're THE Melantha!
If anyone can kick Noriya's butt, it's you!
I can't wait to hear back from you. I'll send another letter the next time my dad gets paper!
Love,
Celvene
Celvene sniffed, and when she blinked away her tears, she realized she'd been clutching the letter far too tightly.
While it hadn't ripped, it looked on the verge of breaking, and the wrinkles had increased tenfold in her fist. She rubbed a forearm over her eyes.
She'd been so naive then. She'd believed everyone to be good, for the conflict between Noriya and Fellstride to not exist. When she'd learned just how bad things were the day she arrived on the streets of Aizasea, she'd felt saddened and humiliated. She'd been so, so clueless.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything when I saw you in Aizasea," Melantha said, wringing her hands together, "but I'd spent so long waiting for another letter that I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me, and it made me despise anything having to do with you.
It didn't help that the negativity around me festered like an infected wound, and everything they said made me.
.. made me feel like you hated me, and that meant I needed to return the sentiment.
If I didn't, then... It's stupid, I know.
Was my letter too bland? Is that why you didn't respond? "
"You sent me a letter?" Celvene asked, her eyes growing wide. She'd never gotten a letter from Melantha; had it gotten lost in the mail? "I never got it." She paused. "Why are you carrying my letter now?"
"I made sure it was sent," was all Melantha said before she released a sigh. Her lips parted, and she looked up to the speckled sky. The dark canvas looked perfect, as did the rest of Noriya.
They broke free of the castle's grounds, and Celvene wondered where Melantha was taking her. They were surrounded by white brick houses, standing in rows with vibrant green bushes outside. Each house had a variety of different colored flowers planted in the garden.
"I did send you a letter," Melantha finally said.
"I guess you didn't get it. I told you about my recital, and how I.
.. didn't make a lot of friends. When I talked to my parents about sending another letter, because I thought you didn't get the first one, they told me not to bother.
That it had been weeks, and if you wanted to send another letter, you would've already.
" Melantha's fingers curled around one another, blanching.
Celvene's hand itched to reach out and take her hand in hers, as they often did as children, but she directed her gaze to the ground instead.
They weren't kids anymore. And they weren't close, either. Melantha was right in what she said earlier; they needed to let go of the past.
Right?
Melantha stilled. "That's why I was so upset.
I've been thinking about it a lot recently.
You were the only person I cared about when I moved, and when I didn't have you, I had no one.
I never ended up making any friends." There was a long pause and a sniffle before Melantha said, "Anyways.
.. enough about that. Where do you want to visit? "
Celvene noted Melantha's voice sounded strained and stuffy, like she was holding back tears.
Even if she wasn't Melantha's friend anymore, she couldn't stand to see her hurting, physically or mentally.
"I did send another letter. I sent four in total before my dad started refusing to give me parchment because he knew I wasn't getting any letters in return.
" She sighed. "We don't have to do this.
Any of this. I can tell..." She cleared her throat, then clasped her hands together.
"It's not a good time, I'm assuming. Take me back to my cell and tell Zelphar you showed me around. "
"It's not that simple," Melantha said. Her head was angled upwards. Celvene hardly caught a glimpse of her face, but she could see a tear stain running down her fair cheek. Melantha didn't move to wipe it away, nor did she make an effort to look at Celvene. "But thanks."
She sounded like she wanted to say more, but when she didn't continue, Celvene spoke for her. It was obvious she wanted to change the subject, so Celvene would grant her wish. "Do you know any demigods?"
A small smile graced Melantha's lips. "Of course I do. Don't you? But yeah. We were required to work with some of our king's children, and other demigods that moved here, to learn blacksmithing as part of our training to become a phantom."
"Phantom?"
"We're... Zelphar's 'elite,' as he's taken to calling us.
Some were people he's plucked from the streets and said he saw promise in.
Most were already in the army. I wasn't prepared for it at all, and I don't think many of the others were, either, but we adapted.
We learned. I never wanted to be a soldier, but he told me I was doing my city a service.
That I was honorable, and commendable, and people would look up to me if I trained with some of the most powerful people in Noriya.
I was desperate for someone to give me a sliver of attention after my parents left, so I didn't fight it, and I didn't refuse the offers he gave me. He taught me how to be an assassin."
Alarm pricked at Celvene's skin, and her eyes widened. "Assassin?"
Melantha stilled. "You didn't figure it out?"
"Well, no. You've been..."
"Not stealthy? Those were the orders given to me by Zelphar before I visited. He wanted to make sure that if I was spotted, people would be too scared to act. He said he was sending a message."
"That doesn't sound neutral of him."
Melantha shrugged. "I don't have a hand in his political affairs.
I follow the orders he gives me, even if I don't like them, because that's what he's told me to do.
If I disobey, I'm exiled. Or worse. And as much as I dislike what I'm doing, I don't have much of a choice if I want a roof over my head.
Getting kicked out of Noriya would mean I can't come back, and no other city would want to take in a soldier like me, unless I confine myself to wearing long sleeves and powerful illusion magic for the rest of my life.
I know people fear us. So unless I can find a transformation mage to remove the tattoo, I'm stuck here. "
"Does that tattoo give you enhanced abilities or something?" asked Celvene. They were coming up on a row of grand houses. The air was cold.
"It allows me to channel my inner magic easier, if that's what you mean.
But honestly, since I left the academy, I haven't done much magic.
Most I've done is illusion to mask my footsteps.
I prefer physical weapons. Easier to handle.
It also allows me to enter and leave the force field covering the city way faster. "
Celvene looked up to a blanket of stars masked by the shimmer of a pale red force field.
She frowned. Every time she'd left Aizasea, a leader in the circus would open the force field for her group.
She didn't know how it fell. But she knew it wasn't as untouchable as people preached, and she imagined the same was true for Noriya's force field.
Something wasn't adding up. Zelphar insisted that Virion had been lying to her, but if Virion was so bloodthirsty, why hadn't he entered Noriya, broken the force field, and killed Zelphar where he stood?
He was a cowardly individual, though, and from what Celvene had seen, Noriya was far more adequate in the defenses of their king.
So perhaps Virion had never found the right time to strike, and Zelphar had acted before he could.
But still... Celvene couldn't shake that the perfect landscape ahead was nothing more than a facade. Noriya soldiers wanted the heads of the Aizasean. Melantha was different, but she was the exception, not the norm.
Had Aizasea truly done something to deserve death, or was Zelphar lying right to Celvene's face?
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