XLI | FALLING OUT
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"LIKE US? What do you mean, like us?" Quinn said, eyeing Celvene. Celvene couldn't decipher the emotion written on her face. "What, was it a bear?"
Celvene's posture tensed; was Quinn judging her? After she had saved her life? She frowned. "No."
"Wolf?"
"No."
"Dragon?" Quinn asked after a moment, and even she sounded like she knew it was a stupid suggestion.
"No," Celvene forced out through gritted teeth. "It was a gray fairy. Or, more accurately, a swarm of them. I had to freeze the entire area around me to get them off me. It got messy."
If either of them even had any knowledge about nature, they wouldn't question her response.
Gray fairys did have silver blood, though it wasn't quite as shiny as a dryad's blood.
But neither Khamisi nor Quinn would have any way to question her, even if they noticed she didn't have runespowder. They weren't there.
"A whole swarm?" Quinn echoed, eyes widening. For a moment, Celvene thought she wouldn't believe her. But an easy smile grew on Quinn's lips, and Celvene's worries dissipated. "Must've had your work cut out for you. I've heard they are a handful to get rid of. Kind of like wasps."
"Exactly like them."
Khamisi stood, still gripping his runespowder. He shook the bag gently, as if asking for Celvene's permission. "I still have some left."
When she didn't complain, he knelt down next to her. Before he could get started, though, she said, "I'm going to the castle."
"Right now?" Khamisi's eyebrows shot up and his voice raised in pitch before he cleared his throat.
"After I'm healed. I have duties to uphold."
"You almost died, Celvene," Khamisi said, biting his lip. "I saw the state you were in when you got here. You shouldn't be running out right now, crown or not."
"They're already going to think I betrayed the castle.
I was kidnapped by Noriya, then I was jailed, then I escaped, and then Aleksandr tried to jail me here.
I escaped again, and while I'm not on the greatest terms with almost anyone in that castle, the least I can do is show that I'm willing to be there after everything that has happened. "
"You were what?" Khamisi and Quinn said in unison, both their jaws dropping open.
Celvene had to stifle an eye roll. "Kidnapped? I'm sure it was framed as me abandoning the kingdom, if they even said anything about my disappearance to begin with."
"Press has been saying that there's a lot of tension and drama stirring in the castle.
I assumed you had a hand in it. One journalist asked me after my performance if I'd heard about it, so they must know, too.
Are you sure it's even safe to go back?" Quinn said to the side, popping the remainder of her hanai bun into her mouth.
But her body was rigid, her expression tight.
She was trying to act carefree, but Celvene knew the attack on the circus was lingering at the forefront of her mind.
"No. But I have to try," said Celvene.
Khamisi's hand slowly curled around his runespowder, fingers digging into the burlap. "Do you know illusion magic?"
Is he implying I cloak myself to enter the castle? "The basics. They taught us the fundamentals of each type of magic in the academy. I can cloak myself for a few hours if I'm lucky."
Khamisi cocked his head. "Don't you deal with cards and the sort for your job? I can't imagine they wouldn't have you be dishonest here and there."
"Well, I do, but—"
"Don't downplay your skills. You're better than I am at illusion magic. I know the basics. They promoted me to colonel because of my magical knowledge, but I specialized in a few areas, and illusion was not one of them."
"I'm not downplaying my skills. And besides, even if I did cast it, I don't have the runespowder to keep it up, and they make a point of stripping you of any potential weapons if you're a guest to the castle.
That includes runespowder," Celvene said, her gaze wary.
This wouldn't work. She'd be better off running in headfirst without thinking at this point.
"And if you use a spell I don't know, I won't be able to refresh it regardless. "
"I never said you'd have to take care of it.
You can cast it and cloak yourself as someone you know works at the castle, or a visiting noble, and transfer the spell to me.
Not sure how powerful your spells are, but I can disguise your voice, too.
Not a lot, but enough so that it's unrecognizable.
I can follow you to the castle and stay close enough that it doesn't break, but far enough that I don't seem suspicious to the guards. "
There was the possibility this would end before she even entered the castle.
It wasn't uncommon for castle guards around Fellstride to follow a specific protocol for visiting guests, and occasionally townspeople: using a decloaking spell to remove any illusions, along with other precautions.
But if they were either stupid or lacking knowledge in decloaking spells, Celvene would be free to enter.
It was just a matter of whether or not they'd believe her disguise, which meant it was safer to go as a visiting royal; if she went as someone they'd know, there was a chance they'd see through her disguise even without magic.
And she didn't know who was working today—she could introduce herself as someone who was already inside of the castle, which meant she'd be caught in an instant.
Celvene stilled, and though she didn't look at him, she could hear Khamisi opening his runespowder once again. She braced herself for the coldness of healing magic. "Won't that tire you out? Two powerful illusion spells at once?"
Khamisi's shoulders dipped in a shrug. "I've been through worse. Standard training calls for casting four spells simultaneously."
"That's possible?" she asked.
A frigidity like no other seeped at Celvene's bones, chilling her to the core. But despite the lack of heat, she could feel her wounds healing.
"Barely, if you're not a prodigy or immortal." Khamisi fell silent for a moment, hastening his movements. Warmth flooded her body a few seconds later, and Khamisi drew back. "Do you have a plan? Besides sneaking into the castle with magic."
Celvene kept her face as impassive as she could muster. "Of course I do."
Khamisi merely quirked an eyebrow, likely unconvinced, but Quinn looked at Celvene with such focus that she knew the girl could see right through her facade. She always had.
"Can you explain it?" Quinn asked, and though the words were soft-spoken, they felt hard and rough around the edges.
They felt like a challenge. Quinn's gaze didn't shift from Celvene's.
"Please, Celvene. I haven't seen you in weeks.
I don't want you to die the moment you run into that castle seeking glory. "
"I'm not seeking glory," Celvene snapped, though she had to wonder if that was completely true.
She was doing all this for the good of the kingdom, for the good of her people, but she wanted recognition, too.
If just a sliver. "I have to show the people of this kingdom that I'm the solution to this war.
I'm not going to be able to do that sitting around. "
"And what do you do when you're caught? Where are you even going to go?"
An unfamiliar white hot rage bubbled deep within her, and she took a breath to try to quell its ferocity.
Why would Quinn assume she'd fail? "If you're not going to help me, Quinn, then leave.
I already face enough backlash from the castle's staff.
I don't need someone I consider my friend to do the same. "
She didn't meet Quinn's stare, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see Quinn's brows pinch and a frown twitch on her lips.
The girl released a heavy sigh. "Fine. I don't want you to get yourself killed, but if that's what you want, then go ahead.
May the afterlife accept you with open arms."
Quinn's doubt ticked up the heat of Celvene's anger even more, and she curled her hand into a fist, digging her nails into her palm.
The pain cleared the haze slightly. "I'm not going to die, Quinn.
Aleksandr doesn't have the gall, nor the skill.
He's big and slow, and I've improved enough to not get hit by him. Not to the point where it matters."
"Aleksandr? The king?"
"He's not king!" Celvene yelled, her voice bouncing off the walls.
Quinn winced, and even Khamisi looked startled.
"I am going to be king. I am going to be queen.
Whatever you fancy, I will be it.
I am going to rule these lands, and I am going to save Aizasea from its death.
You'd be wise to remember that. I thought you were supposed to be my friend! "
Quinn's features hardened, and she brushed a curl behind her ear, standing. It was then that Celvene realized she was already standing. She stepped back.
"I supported you, Celvene. Even when you came back after abandoning the circus.
I thought you'd do the same. That you'd support me.
But..." Her face scrunched in disgust, and Celvene narrowed her eyes.
"I don't know who I came back to. I don't know who you are if you're going to treat me like that.
All I wanted was to ensure your safety, and you act like I'm the one trying to throw you into prison.
If that's what you want to believe, be my guest, but I will not stand for it.
Give me..." She inhaled, closing her eyes before continuing in a strained voice.
"Give me time. I just watched everything I've held dear for years burn down.
I don't want our friendship to follow the same path. "
She strode to the door in swift steps, swinging the door open. She spared one last glance behind her shoulder, eyes glittering with a mixture of hurt, anger, and sadness. Celvene opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Was Quinn overreacting? Was Celvene? Were neither?
She didn't know. The worst part was, she didn't know why she said that. She believed it, she hoped, but that didn't give her an excuse to yell at Quinn. It was like something had spoken for her.
She willed herself to say something—anything—but she remained quiet. She wanted to apologize. Cry out.
Instead, she was silent.
All emotion on Quinn's face vanished, replaced by just one: disappointment. And before Celvene could act, the door slammed shut. For all she knew, Quinn was walking into a city usurped by chaos. Sure, they'd made it to Khamisi's house, but maybe Noriya had decided to come back.
Maybe they'd never left, and Celvene simply hadn't been able to hear them. And Quinn didn't have anywhere to go. She stayed at the circus night and day. Celvene was lucky in the sense that she'd been able to get a crummy single room in a poor side of town, but Quinn hadn't even managed that.
And now she was going to be able to go nowhere but the streets with the circus tent burned down.
Shame washed over her. She never had that strong of a temper, especially with friends. Had her anger truly been over being doubted again? Or was it something bigger?
She slumped back into the chair, defeated, and covered her eyes with a tired hand. The floorboards next to her creaked.
Right. Khamisi is still here. This is his house, after all.
"You... uh, okay?" he asked after a moment of silence that stretched on for too long. Celvene didn't know if she was imagining the reluctance in his voice.
"I don't know," Celvene finally admitted, leaning her head back. "Something in Noriya changed me. I don't know what. But that city taints anything within it."
"Changed you how?"
She didn't want to mention how she'd killed the dryad. She didn't want to say how she liked it—maybe if she buried the feelings deep enough, she'd forget about them.
Like that's worked for the past few hours.
"You know Melantha?" she asked. She didn't even know where to begin. Her heart ached at the mere thought of the blonde angel.
Khamisi nodded.
"When I was in Noriya with her, Zelphar took us both into the throne room.
He wanted to make a deal with me, and kill Melantha, but I refused.
He'd drawn a rune—a blood rune—and I ran through it and stopped it before he could cast it.
It was formed enough that it hurt both of us, him more than me, and I didn't think anything of it after.
And... I don't know. I know some people are changed after magic goes wrong, but I thought that was physical.
I didn't think it would change your mind, too. "
Khamisi was silent. Then, all he said was, "Wow."
Celvene's gaze grew pointed and she swiveled her head towards Khamisi. "Wow? That's it?"
Khamisi cleared his throat, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I mean... what would you say to something like that?"
"How about, 'Wow, Celvene, I'm so sorry that happened to you. That sounds terrifying. I think you're right'? 'Wow' just makes me feel even worse than I already do."
Khamisi chuckled a bit, but stopped short seeing Celvene's face. "Why would you feel bad? It's not your fault that happened."
That same inkling buried deep within her heart screamed out again—she couldn't trust Khamisi. Before, she didn't listen, but now, she had a feeling it was right. He was glaring at her, and frowning, and...
She couldn't tell him about the bloodlust. About the horrors in her mind.
"I don't know," was all she could muster. "I know I shouldn't."
"Is there someone at the castle that can help you? I don't know much about magic, but there must be someone there that does."
Celvene leapt to her feet, eyes wide. Khamisi was right. "Yes! There is!"
She could go to Oriel first and figure out why this happened, and how to fix it.
Then she could find Elas and make sure he was safe.
They could work together to assemble a band of guards, then she could confront Aleksandr. Get him to admit everything he'd done under the guise of being in a private conversation.
The royal guard would hear him, and hopefully, they'd take it seriously.
Aleksandr would be jailed, and she'd have a clear path to saving Aizasea.
To becoming queen. She'd just have to figure out a way to get Aleksandr to admit everything awful and unlawful, starting with the fact that he'd stolen the throne.
A smile grew on her face. This could work.
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