6. Daisy
six
Daisy
(Then)
“I have to go,” I moan, trying again to untangle from the sheets and drag myself off the mattress.
I don’t make it farther than one foot over the edge before Beau hooks an arm around my waist and hauls me back.
“Not yet.” He flips me onto my back and cages me in with his magnificent body. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I admire the picture of him above me—the solid muscles of his upper body, the sharp lines of his collarbones, the rough five o’clock shadow over his jaw.
He needs a haircut, and he looks a little wild.
But then there are his eyes, which are soft and tender like the kisses he dusts across my lips, down my neck, and over my breasts.
I twist my fingers into his hair and breathe in, committing to my memory the smell of his skin and these sheets. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget him.
“I’ve got a flight to catch,” I say, and even though it’s true, I’m having a hard time finding the will to care.
My time in New Zealand is over, and after ten days sunning myself in Fiji, I’ve got a three-month gig at a ranch in Argentina. I don’t have the money to miss a single connection, but the risk still isn’t enough to make me toss this man out of my bed.
Beau grunts. “Don’t remind me.”
He works his way down my naked body, tongue swirling down my sternum, across my stomach, then lower. He parts my knees, and I arch off the mattress at the first touch of his tongue. I keep writhing as the minutes lose all meaning, and by the time I drag him back up, I’m weak and trembling.
“Beau,” I pant as he falls onto the pillow beside me.
“Don’t say it.” He scoops my naked body against his, my spine bowed against his chest, and wraps me in his arms. “Don’t fucking say it.”
“We agreed this would only last for as long as we were here. A six-week fling, and then it’s over.”
The words are bitter. We both wanted an end date on this, but I didn’t know six weeks would pass so fast, or that, for the first time in my adult life, there’d be a person in my world who could tempt me to stay in one place. And it’s kind of terrifying.
“Our agreement was bullshit,” he mumbles, nuzzling my hair. “I take it back.”
I spin in his arms so we’re lying nose to nose. “Your contract here runs until June.”
“Yeah.”
“Then you’ve got a job in Australia.”
“And?”
“And I’ll be in Patagonia.”
“So?”
I shove at his chest, and he holds me tighter. “So… how do you propose we make this work?”
“Well…” His mouth drifts across my jaw before he drags my hair back to press kisses down my throat. His manner is entirely unconcerned.
I close my eyes and try not to get swept away. “Mmm?”
“I could quit,” he says between kisses. “And come with you to Fiji.”
My breath catches, and I pull back to study his face. “You can’t quit your job.”
“Why not?”
“Because… you just can’t.”
He smirks like giving up a solid, well-paying gig is no big deal. Like giving it up for me is no big deal. His brown eyes are liquid-warm, and my stomach flips, but the yes won’t leave my lips. It’s too soon to love him like I do.
“Could you even afford it?”
“I can afford the flights,” he says, like he’s already done the research.
“And I’ve got the accommodation.” I hear the words like they’ve come from someone else.
He smiles, that imperfect gap flashing and making me melt. “Think you could find space in your bed for me, Darlin’?”
I kiss him deeply and try to convince myself this is the last time. He responds like it’s the first kiss of some new life. My desperation matched by his desire, and it makes detaching from him so much harder. “No.”
Beau’s brows are the first thing to fall, and then his entire face follows. “No?”
I push myself out of the bed, and this time, he lets me go.
“I won’t let you leave your job for me,” I say. “Ken is one of the best bosses you’ll ever have, and he’s expecting you to stick around. You can’t go back on your word.”
He sits up, sheets rucked up around his hips, and watches me as I rummage for a pair of clean underwear in my already-packed suitcase. His hair sticks out at odd angles, and he makes it even sexier by running a hand through it.
“I gave him my word before I met you,” he says.
“Exactly! We just met. And you can’t turn your life upside down for a girl you just met!”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s… it’s… ludicrous!” I throw up my hands, my bra in one and my shirt in the other. “And what about the money you’ll lose if you leave?”
We both know that with the way we live, on working visas and vacations between gigs, we need to make money when we can and how we can. Not all jobs pay wages. Some are only good for room and board, and while it’s a cost-effective way to see the world, it’s not exactly boosting our bank accounts.
Beau snorts. “I don’t give a shit about the money. I’m better off without it.”
I pause with my bra hooked into place, shirt on but open, and jeans unbuttoned at the waist. “Who is ever better off without money?”
“People like me.”
I narrow my eyes, wanting to ask questions but knowing it’ll keep me here when I need to go.
Beau grins like he can read my mind. He crawls across the mattress, reaches out to loop a finger into my jeans, and pulls me to him.
“You want to know more about me, don’t you, Darlin’?”
“No.”
He gets to his knees, circles my waist with those big arms, and kisses me.
And… I’m drunk. “Maybe.”
He smirks. “And I want to know everything about you.”
When he kisses me again, I collapse into him.
“Beau. Stop it.” I push on his chest, harder this time. He releases me and falls back to the mattress with a sigh. “This isn’t practical. All the sex has messed with your brain chemistry.”
“I’m cool with that.”
I laugh weakly. “Seriously. You can’t throw away the rest of this year for a week on a beach with me.”
“I’m not suggesting that.”
“No? So what would you call it, exactly?”
He takes my hand and gently tugs me to sit beside him. The seriousness of his mouth gives me butterflies, and I press a hand to my middle to settle the fluttering.
“Don’t you get it? I’m crazy about you. You’re everything I never knew I needed, and damn if you don’t make me want to do everything I can to impress you. All this sex we’ve been enjoying? I’ve never worked so hard in bed in all my life.”
That makes me smile, and he grins back.
“So no, I wouldn’t be throwing away a good gig to spend a week on a beach with a girl I just met. I’d be trading a few months at a job I don’t care about for my shot at a lifetime with the woman I’m falling in love with.”
My throat tightens, and I fight to keep my eyes dry. How is it possible to feel total exhilaration and overwhelming apprehension all at once? I always wanted to find love, but now that it’s happening, all I want is for it to stop.
“What if I don’t want more?” I ask, voice thick.
“Then say so.”
His deep brown eyes, bright and intense, capture mine and don’t let go, and when I can’t admit that it’s over, he takes my hands in his.
“What if we give this a chance to see where it goes?”
My fingers tighten around his. “What if we stick to the plan? If we’re meant to be together, then we’ll find each other again.”
“What if choosing each other now is the way it’s supposed to be?”
“What if…” I trail off.
His thumbs brush over my knuckles, and the hope that keeps lighting then dimming his expression is almost too much to bear.
“What if you stay here and finish your contract? I’ll go on my trip, then to my job in Patagonia. We’ll see what happens after that.”
“Or… what if I don’t?”
I break free of his hands and stand, turning away while I button my shirt, then stuff the last of my things into my suitcase.
“It’s too fast,” I say with my back to him. “I want to, but…”
“But?” he says, coming up behind me.
But as long as I’m moving, I’m in control. I’m happy. As soon as I stop or even think about putting down roots, the risk of everything falling apart grows too great.
I take a deep breath and gather my strength, then spin to face him. “But one of us needs to be smart. You should stay. Do what Ken hired you to do, and when your contract is over, give me a call.”
His head drops forward, like he’s been delivered a blow, and when he lifts it again, there are lines of anguish around his eyes. “Is this really what you want?”
I’m not at all sure that it is, but I say, “It’s really what I want.”
He crosses the room, then brushes a tear from my cheek before I feel it fall. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”
“I didn’t expect this,” I admit. “I’m not ready for it.”
“Okay, Darlin’.” He nods slowly, like he’s processing while we talk. “I hear you. We’ll go as slow as you want to go, but I need you to understand something. We know horses, right? We’ve got instincts, and they never steer us wrong.”
My sarcastic look is only slightly undermined by my wet cheeks. I’m thinking about the day we met and how wrong I was about the young gelding, and Beau grins.
“Okay, well, I’ve got instincts, and they never steer me wrong. I’ve got a feeling about you, Daisy Darlin’. We’re meant to be in each other’s lives, and I know it’s scary to be so sure of that after six weeks, but it only makes me more certain. Nothing temporary could feel like this.”
“Are you a secret romantic, Beau Covington? I never would’ve picked it.”
“I’m a realist,” he says with a wry smile. “I’m not a man who loses his head over a woman, and yet here I am. That’s how I know it’s real.”
“We barely know each other,” I protest.
“There’s time for that.”
“I’m not a traditional kind of girl.” My heart starts to race at how close I am to giving in. “I’m not going to stay in one place and go to a boring job every day and make the same dinners every night. I want to travel and have adventures and never go home.”
“I want that too.”
“Beau—”
“Okay. I get it,” he soothes. “I’ll do what you tell me, but I won’t go away. There’s something between us. More than we can explore in six weeks, and we owe it to each other to see where it goes.”
I inhale and release the breath, searching for resolve and somehow finding it. “I need to think about it.”
“Do all the thinking you need to do. And when you realize I’m right, I’ll be there.”
We say goodbye there in my bedroom, with a kiss I cut short and no backward glance as I walk through the door and out to the waiting taxi.
Something feels wrong the entire ride to the airport, and I scrub the tears from my cheeks when I can’t hold them back anymore, but it’s not until I’m at the boarding gate that I can admit my mistake.
Beau is the most thrilling adventure I’ll ever have, and those instincts he talked about tell me he’s also the most important. I walked away because I was scared, not because it was sensible, and I don’t want fear to be the rule I live by.
I pull out my phone before my courage dips and tap out a text.
Me:
I was wrong. How soon can we make this work?
My phone pings immediately.
Beau
Turn around.