Chapter 19 #3
‘I told you – because Rhiannon killed my dad as well.’ I nodded towards my ashes necklace. ‘See this bottle? Part of him’s in there. That’s all I have. The rest is in some urn in Australia.’
Louis rubbed his top lip and sat back down.
‘He wanted to be my dad more than anything. But all I got were some ashes in a tiny glass bottle. And his thumbs.’ The tears were coming properly now, but not from me, from him.
I carried on talking, now that the dam had broken.
‘I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me.
Private school girl, spoilt bitch. I get it.
I have been so spoilt. But I promise you, however you feel about Rhiannon, I feel it too.
You’ve missed out on something so precious because of her.
And so have I. You’re mad as hell about losing your dad.
And so am I. We’re in the same boat. So stop fucking rocking it. ’
He leaned forwards and put his head in his hands.
It was a long time that I watched him sitting there before I heard the sniff.
When he came up for air again, he stood up, wiped his cheeks, grabbed the kitchen knife from the dusty floor and hurled it against the dartboard on the back wall.
Amazingly, he got a bull’s-eye. I chuckled. He smiled too.
‘Mum’s gonna fucking kill me.’
‘No, she won’t.’
‘She will. I’ll go to prison. Matt too probably. Ant could end up in young offenders.’
‘How old is he?’
‘Eighteen and a half.’
‘No, that’ll be prison as well then.’
He sighed, still pacing. ‘We’ve already got criminal records, all of us. Shoplifting, truanting. We just want something else, you know? Something to lift us out of the shit. We deserve it. And now we’re all gonna go down the road!’
‘You’re catastrophising,’ I told him. ‘Nothing’s happened, you haven’t hurt me; you haven’t put out a ransom note, I assume?’
‘Look at you!’ he yelled. ‘You’re tied to a fucking chair, love. Like you’re not gonna go running to the cops the second you set foot out that door.’
‘It’s not in my interest to go to the police,’ I said.
‘It’ll only send a shit load more paparazzi to my door; it always does any time a Rhiannon-linked story hits the news.
Plus, as I say, you haven’t hurt me.’ I nodded towards my tied-up wrist. There was a fierce red ring behind the cable tie. ‘Much.’
He walked over to the dartboard and pulled out the knife, then swiftly cut through my other cable tie to free me. I stayed sitting.
‘Go,’ said Louis, pointing towards the door.
‘Go where?’ I said. He handed me my phone from his back pocket. I checked the time. ‘It’s two in the morning and I’m a zillion miles from home with no transport.’
‘There’s buses through the night.’
I remained on the chair, giving him The Look.
Louis folded his arms and nodded towards the workbench at the back of the garage.
He strode over and flicked on the angle poise light, illuminating the neatly arranged rows of tools on the wall and the various projects on the go.
Half-finished model boats. An airplane. And on the shelf above the workbench was a picture – three small boys sitting in a giant hole on the beach with ice cream around their mouths.
‘Is that you guys?’ I asked, walking over to the workbench. ‘Can I?’ I picked up the picture and wiped off the dusty glass. Next to it was another pic of Dean Bishopston, in a hospital chair holding a baby next to a tired-looking woman. They were both beaming. ‘Are you the bub?’
Louis nodded.
‘He looks like a really nice man.’
Louis nodded and this time he wasn’t so bashful about crying openly. ‘I miss him every day.’
I put the picture back on the shelf.
‘Mum’s worked so hard to keep the house going. I fucked this right up. I thought about killing you, I really did. I got this online.’ He gestured towards the machete – a vicious-looking thing he’d ordered with no problem off the dark web. He chucked it down on the workbench.
‘I went to kill my PE teacher a few weeks ago, for grooming my girlfriend.’
Louis glanced at me.
‘I didn’t actually do it, but I wanted to.
I went to his house though. Took a weapon and everything.
Almost lost the plot and ruined my life for it.
But I don’t think I’d have done it in the end.
I can’t stand the sight of blood anyway.
And it wouldn’t have undone what’s been done.
And killing me won’t magically reanimate your dad.
All it’ll do is break another piece off your mum’s heart. ’
Louis smiled and sniffed again. ‘I didn’t know you were a lezbo.’
‘Why should you?’
‘Thought I might be in with a chance.’
‘I’m sixteen.’
‘Oh Christ, I thought you was older than that.’
‘Wiser maybe but not older, no.’
He laughed and accepted it. ‘What the fuck am I gonna do, Ivy?’ It was the first time he’s actually used my name, and not Spoiled Little Rich Bitch or The Pea from the Mega Bitch Pod or something.
‘Have you got any sandwiches that don’t contain enough butter to give the whole street a heart attack? I’m still pretty hungry. So maybe let’s start there while we figure this out.’